Okay, first, my girlfriend came over a day early and now you post this. BEST. NIGHT. EVER.
Anyhow..
Once again, your grasp of the Coxian (..wow, that doesn't sound filthy at all) is superb.
I love how you broke this into PG, PG-13, NC-17. That is SO clever and I've never really seen it done before.
She doesn’t have to “win” all the time, and she doesn’t really mind that sometimes Jordan makes out with her to shut her up.
I think this is completely Elliot. Like I said before in another comment to the_girl_30, what I love about Elliot and Jordan fics is that it gives Elliot a chance to be both dominant and submissive, without relinquishing her strength of character.
The thing that draws me most to your fics is the little touches you put in the characters. And with each fic, you hone this more and more. Like Elliot being a chapstick addict, or babbling on about BBQ, her sorority, and women poets.
Also, just some lines that completely sum of who the character is. Like Jordan is bored. This is nothing new..it's so simple..but it'
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Thanks for your comments. I've been trying to get used to writing fiction again, and I know that I'm not terribly good at description. I've been trying really hard to inject parts of the characters in their dialog and actions, and it is super helpful to hear where it's working.
Like I said before in another comment to the_girl_30, what I love about Elliot and Jordan fics is that it gives Elliot a chance to be both dominant and submissive, without relinquishing her strength of character.
I agree with you completely on this point. Jordan is, well, mean, and Elliot is usually pretty sensitive to that kind of thing. But she's not that way with Jordan, which is fascinating to me. She just sort of accepts that that's the way Jordan is and brushes it off or lets her think she won. I LOVE that their interaction brings out that part of her character.
I love how there are three versions of this. Because you just know that Jordan would convince herself she wanted the NC-17 when secretly she longs for the PG one :)
The whole conversation about pizza toppings is delightfully domestic and you've injected some wonderful character points:
I had this patient who kept almost dying - So Elliot.
And this whole section...
Jordan just arches an eyebrow. “Did you remember to order it with extra sauce?”
Elliot has a look like she’s mentally kicking herself. “Umm, no?”
“You can’t remember if you did or not?” Jordan asks, her perfect eyebrow arching up even further.
“I didn’t,” Elliot says as she rolls her eyes. “But I ordered it with the black and the green olives, just like you like, and…” she walks over to the couch, leans down, and kisses Jordan on the forehead. “…I think you’ll live.”
...is just so lovely and awwww-worthy.
she doesn’t really mind that sometimes Jordan makes out with her to shut her up - I love that both characters acknowledge and accept this fact. And that it
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Comments 3
Anyhow..
Once again, your grasp of the Coxian (..wow, that doesn't sound filthy at all) is superb.
I love how you broke this into PG, PG-13, NC-17. That is SO clever and I've never really seen it done before.
She doesn’t have to “win” all the time, and she doesn’t really mind that sometimes Jordan makes out with her to shut her up.
I think this is completely Elliot. Like I said before in another comment to the_girl_30, what I love about Elliot and Jordan fics is that it gives Elliot a chance to be both dominant and submissive, without relinquishing her strength of character.
The thing that draws me most to your fics is the little touches you put in the characters. And with each fic, you hone this more and more. Like Elliot being a chapstick addict, or babbling on about BBQ, her sorority, and women poets.
Also, just some lines that completely sum of who the character is. Like Jordan is bored. This is nothing new..it's so simple..but it' ( ... )
Reply
Like I said before in another comment to the_girl_30, what I love about Elliot and Jordan fics is that it gives Elliot a chance to be both dominant and submissive, without relinquishing her strength of character.
I agree with you completely on this point. Jordan is, well, mean, and Elliot is usually pretty sensitive to that kind of thing. But she's not that way with Jordan, which is fascinating to me. She just sort of accepts that that's the way Jordan is and brushes it off or lets her think she won. I LOVE that their interaction brings out that part of her character.
Reply
The whole conversation about pizza toppings is delightfully domestic and you've injected some wonderful character points:
I had this patient who kept almost dying - So Elliot.
And this whole section...
Jordan just arches an eyebrow. “Did you remember to order it with extra sauce?”
Elliot has a look like she’s mentally kicking herself. “Umm, no?”
“You can’t remember if you did or not?” Jordan asks, her perfect eyebrow arching up even further.
“I didn’t,” Elliot says as she rolls her eyes. “But I ordered it with the black and the green olives, just like you like, and…” she walks over to the couch, leans down, and kisses Jordan on the forehead. “…I think you’ll live.”
...is just so lovely and awwww-worthy.
she doesn’t really mind that sometimes Jordan makes out with her to shut her up - I love that both characters acknowledge and accept this fact. And that it ( ... )
Reply
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