Is This How Love Feels?
Title: Is This How Love Feels?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OFC
Rating: PG, maybe, for some swearing
Word Count: 2600
Disclaimer: I can only fantasize that this is really going on. Alas, it's not. Unless it is, and if so, I want photographic evidence, dammit!
Summary: Jared gets a new girlfriend. Jensen gets jealous.
A/N 1: I've had this done since March but totally forgot about it. All the oh-no-Jensen's-moving-out hoopla from Asylum reminded me that it's been languishing in my documents for months. Seems an apropos time to post it.
It starts with a giggle. A decidedly feminine giggle coming from his kitchen. Jensen walks cautiously around the corner to find an unfamiliar woman sitting on the counter beside where Jared’s leaning, her thigh pressed against his arm. She has on one of Jared’s t-shirts; it covers enough, but leaves most of her legs bare. They’re smiling goofily at each other as the woman sips coffee. She’s tiny, brunette, and has great boobs. Jared certainly has a type.
Jensen’s stomach turns over, then plummets to his feet. He might actually throw up, and isn’t that a bit of an overreaction?
Jared notices him hovering in the doorway and grins. “Hey, Jen! Mornin’!”
Jensen grunts out a reply, his brain still mostly asleep and preoccupied with processing the presence of this strange woman.
Rolling his eyes, Jared gestures to the counter by the fridge. “There’s coffee. Holly just made it, so it’s still fresh.”
Jensen grunts again. He snags a mug, pours himself some coffee, and retreats to the other side of the room.
“He’s always like this in the morning. Big pain in the ass,” Jared tells Holly, and she giggles.
Especially when there’s a half-naked woman in my kitchen, stroking your wrist.
Jared introduces them properly, and Jensen musters enough of his manners to shake her hand and bare his teeth in an approximation of a smile. Holly’s voice has a musical quality to it, her grip is strong, and Jensen kinda hates her a little.
“Well, I need to get to work,” Holly announces, setting her mug on the counter. “I’ll see you later?” It comes out somewhere between a statement and a question, and Jared freaking beams at her.
“Yeah. Yeah, definitely,” he says.
Holly hops off the counter and stands on her tiptoes, and Jared bends down to meet her halfway for a kiss. Jensen buries his head in his mug and doesn’t watch, or else he really will throw up. Jared watches her leave the kitchen, the same goofy smile on his face. Jensen occupies himself with making toast, hoping it’ll calm his stupidly roiling stomach, and they don’t talk until after Jared walks Holly to the front door and comes back. They take a long time to say goodbye.
“You really are a grumpy bastard in the morning, Jensen.” Jared swats the back of his head as he passes, and Jensen flips him off.
“So, did I miss something?” he asks, turning around to lean against the counter, trying to casually eat his toast and not let on to Jared how ridiculously upset he is by this.
Jared beams again. It’s getting annoying.
“We met at the park last night, when I was walking Sadie and Harley. She was jogging, and Harley got a little too enthusiastic with her,” Jared explains.
So did you, apparently.
“She’s a doctor, cardio-something-or-other. We just started talking, and I don’t know. It just kinda happened.” He shrugs, grinning.
Jensen had gotten home completely exhausted last night and immediately went to his room, falling asleep in the middle of studying the script for the next day. But Jared seemingly has more energy than a kid hyped-up on sugar and can pick up random women at the park. He’d rather not know that, or see the evidence firsthand.
“That’s cool,” he mutters and dumps the dregs of his coffee in the sink. It tastes terrible anyway. And he will so not admit it’s the bitterness of jealousy on his tongue and not anything to do with Holly’s ability to make coffee.
**
It only gets worse after that. Jared’s incapable of doing one-night stands or casual relationships, and suddenly Holly is everywhere. It’s always Holly this and Holly that and Holly wants to do this and Holly doesn’t like this and Holly spending time snuggled on the couch with Jared and Holly just always there. It would be easier if she were a ditz or cruel or annoying, but she’s not. She’s intelligent, articulate, nice, and pretty much perfect for Jared. Which is the problem, and Jensen can’t take much more of this.
He gets home one afternoon after meeting Tom for lunch, and there they are, cuddling on the couch, giggling and whispering to each other. Jensen speed walks through the living room and slams his door shut. His hands shake, and he feels like an idiot, because this is so dumb, this crush he has on Jared that only seems to grow over the months and doesn’t fade away like he hoped it would. And he’s not kidding anyone, least of all himself, and he knows it. It’s so much more than a crush and edging into love a little more each day. He flops on the bed, still fully clothed, buries his head under the pillow to drown out the happy noises he imagines he can hear from the living room, and falls into a fitful sleep.
The next Saturday he goes out to find a new place to live, signs the lease on the fourth apartment he looks at. It makes him feel better, as if he’s taking control of his life again, but his palms still sweat when he scrawls his name on the dotted line.
He waits until the next day to tell Jared, because Holly goes to church every Sunday and he wants to do this when she’s not around. Jared’s sitting on the floor, throwing a ball down the hallway for Sadie, and Jensen marches up to him, blurts “I’m moving out,” and turns around to head back to his room.
“Hey, wait. You’re what?” Jared asks, grabbing the hem of his jeans so he can’t get away.
“I’m moving out. My new apartment will be ready next week, so…”
“Wait. What? Why?”
Jared looks genuinely confused and upset, but Jensen ignores that. He crosses his arms and watches Sadie chewing on the tennis ball. “This was just a temporary thing, until I found my own place. I got lazy about it.” And comfortable here. And liked being around you too much. “It’s time to go. Thanks for letting me stay here, though.”
“You don’t have to go,” Jared almost pleads, standing up to face him.
“Yeah, I do. Thanks for everything, though, Jay. Really.”
“No problem, Jen. You know that.” He pauses for a beat, then asks, “So, do you need help packing and moving?”
Jensen smiles. “I hoped you’d say that.”
“Fucker,” Jared states, smacking his head gently.
**
His last day in the apartment, it’s just him and Jared, for the first time in longer than Jensen wants to think about. All his stuff is crammed into boxes, and he’s getting excited about the move. For all that this house felt like home, a part of him always thought of it as Jared’s house, so he never fully settled in. He didn’t decorate the way he wanted or necessarily spread his shit out like he normally would, and he’s looking forward to having his own space to do whatever he wants.
They order pizza and drink beer and watch the crappiest movies they can find. Like old times. Like it was before Holly showed up and ruined everything. Jensen sits on the floor with Sadie beside him and Jared on the couch behind him. He sips his beer and leans his head back, feels Jared’s knee against his cheek. It’s perfect, just like this. He closes his eyes, committing it to memory before he moves on with his life.
It’ll be better this way, he thinks. Maybe if he tells himself that enough, he’ll start to believe it.
**
It’s quiet in the house without Jensen there and emptier, which doesn’t make any sense, since the guy didn’t ever make that much noise or take up that much room. Besides, he has Holly here a lot now, and it shouldn’t make that much of a difference. He sees Jensen all the time still, but he misses him. He feels off-kilter, out of whack, unbalanced without Jensen there to bitch moodily at him in the morning or unwind with after a long day shooting or to just be around. It’s silly and stupid, and he needs to quit moping.
“Jared? You okay?” Holly asks, looking up at him from where she’s resting her head on his lap.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” he answers, brushing her hair out of her eyes and smiling. He’s not sure how he got so lucky with her, but something still feels off. He doesn’t like this.
“Are you sure? You’ve been kinda…depressed lately.” She sits up on her knees and cups his cheeks. “I’m worried about you, babe.”
He hates when she calls him that, but he never corrects her. She tried to call him Jay once, and that just, no. Jensen uses that nickname, and no one else. “I’m fine. I swear,” he adds at her skeptical look. “It’s just been a hard shoot lately. I’m tired and probably letting Sam’s emotions get to me too much.” It’s not entirely a lie, so he only feels a small niggling of guilt in not telling her everything.
“You should take better care of yourself.”
“That’s what I have you for,” he tells her, smiling and leaning forward to kiss her lightly.
She rolls her eyes at him, but kisses back. “You can’t keep firing on all cylinders, Jared,” she says once they pull part. “Please promise me that you’ll take it easy this weekend.”
“I promise.”
Nodding, she settles back on his lap, and Jared runs a hand through her hair.
**
He’s been dating Holly for five months and Jensen’s been gone for two when it hits Jared why he’s been so moody and miserable lately, why he misses Jensen so much, why he craves every tiny moment with Jensen he can get. He’s lying in bed, contemplating getting up to run with the dogs or workout and thinking about seeing Jensen in a couple hours. Holly’s curled up against his side, but all he can picture is Jensen’s eye-crinkly smile and the laugh only Jared can cause.
“Holy shit! I’m in love with Jensen!” he half-shouts. He sits up and drops his head in his hands, groaning. Holly shifts in her sleep, but doesn’t wake, thank God, because that’s so not a good way to wake your girlfriend up.
He breaks up with her over breakfast. It’s the right thing to do. It’s not fair to stay with her when he’s in love with someone else, but it still kicks him in the gut when her eyes fill with tears. He kisses her goodbye at the door, gently, but she steps away. After she leaves, he stands there awkwardly for a long time, feeling like an asshole, but with this new awareness running through him. He’s not sure how, but everything suddenly becomes clear for him- the way Jensen always acts around Holly, how he moved out so abruptly, the way his name sounds different when Jensen says it. He just hopes it’s not too late.
**
The next few days are weird for him. He has this new sensation dancing under his skin, and it’s hard to keep it hidden and not shout his feelings from the rooftops. Every touch from Jensen, every look, no matter how innocent, sends frissons of heat down his spine, and on the fifth day, he sorta just snaps.
It’s been a long shooting day, starting before the sun came up and ending well after dusk. It rained off and on all day, and tempers were short on set. They’re walking through the trailers to meet Clif at the car, Jensen ahead of him with his hands in his jacket pockets and head bowed against the drizzle.
“I never wanted you to move out!” Jared yells suddenly over the noise of the rain.
Jensen glances over his shoulder at him. He has water dripping off the end of his nose. “Yeah? I never wanted to move out.”
“So why did you?” He jogs to catch up with Jensen, tossing his head to move his damp bangs out of his eyes.
“Because you had Holly, and there wasn’t room for me in your life anymore.”
“There’s always room for you in my life, Jen.”
Jensen tilts his head, considering, before sighing and hunching his shoulders. “Can we just go? It’s starting to rain harder.”
He nods, but he’s frozen in place. Jensen’s a couple feet in front of him when just goes for it and shouts, “I love you! I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life. I was just too fucking stupid to see it!”
Jensen’s back tenses, and he slows to a stop, spinning around to gape at Jared with his mouth half open.
“I want you to come home. I want to deal with your cranky, caffeine-deprived ass in the mornings. I want to fall asleep on the couch with you while watching TV. I want to count your freckles and taste every inch of your skin. I want you in my life every day for the rest of our lives. I just want you to come home and stay, Jen. Just stay, please.”
Jensen had gradually gotten closer to him during his speech, and he stops right in front of him now, close enough to touch. “You’re such a girl,” he murmurs, just loud enough to hear over the rain.
“I know.” He swallows, because Jensen has this soft expression in his eyes, and his heart surges with hope.
“I love you, too. And yes to all of that.”
Jared almost whoops in excitement, but grabs the back of Jensen’s neck instead, tugging him forward to press his lips against Jensen’s. Jensen mewls, burrowing closer, hands slipping into Jared’s sodden, tangled hair. Jensen’s mouth is hot, in contrast to his cold lips from the rain, and Jared angles his head, deepening the kiss. He sucks on Jensen’s bottom lip, maps out the contours of Jensen’s mouth with his tongue, kisses him till his head swims. They’re soaked through and Jensen shivers in his arms and they’re standing in the middle of the parking lot where anyone can see them and none of that matters. It’s perfect. He feels tears slide down his face, mingling with the rain, and he just doesn’t care.
Jensen pulls away, panting, and grins up at him. “Are you crying?” he asks with a smirk, swiping his fingers across Jared’s cheek.
“Maybe,” he hedges.
“Sap.”
“You love it,” he says, mostly confident in Jensen’s answer.
“Yeah, I do,” he confirms and leans back up to kiss him again.
He learns quickly what Jensen likes, what makes him moan or hum or rock his hips. Eons later, they’re interrupted by the beam of headlights shining directly at them. Jared reluctantly looks away from Jensen to glare at Clif.
He rolls the window down with a shit-eating grin and bellows, “Are you guys coming or planning to stay out here all night and catch pneumonia? You couldn’t have your big epiphany inside where it’s nice and dry?”
Jensen flips him off, which only makes Clif laugh. Jared kisses him lightly, he just can’t stop tasting Jensen’s mouth, then nudges him toward the truck. They climb in, dripping all over the place, and Jared meets Clif’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
“Where to, boys?” he asks.
“Home,” Jared answers, gaze sliding to Jensen’s blinding smile.
He settles back into the seat and closes his eyes, their arms around each other and Jensen’s breath warm on his neck.
End
But, here, have a bonus ficlet as well. Jared vs. the Ceiling Fan, wherein Jared is a klutz. approx 700 words
Jared stood by the end of the bed, watching as Jensen finished kicking off his jeans and sat back against the headboard in his boxers. He’d never get tired of this, of being able to see Jensen like that, mostly naked and flushed with want. This was still kinda new, this…whatever it was between them, and he relished every moment, every inch of Jensen’s gorgeous body bared for him.
“Dude, stop staring at me like that. It’s creepy,” Jensen complained, folding his arms over his chest self-consciously and tucking his legs up. “And get with the nakedness. We don’t have all day. Okay, we do, but still. You. Naked now,” he demanded, voice going all rough and deep.
Jared grinned. There were times when they could hold off for hours, teasing and stroking and licking till they shook with need, when it was about exploring and tasting and just being skin-to-skin. But he really loved times like this, too, when Jensen was impatient and desperate and pulses of now throbbed between them. Jensen looked up at him then from beneath his lashes, eyes traveling up slow and hot from his feet and catching on his mouth, and Jared’s knees went a little weak.
Reaching down, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly lifted it up, throwing in a few hip shimmies and hoping it came out more sexy than dorky. Based on Jensen’s impatient growls and the way he crawled toward Jared on the bed, Jared thought he was probably pulling it off. The shirt finally over his head, he whipped his arm up to finish with a flourish, maybe swing it around like a stripper. Except he completely miscalculated his position. The shirt, and a couple of his fingers, got caught up in the ceiling fan in the middle of the room. He immediately let go of the shirt and tried to play it off as just another round of Jared Padalecki’s dorky klutziness, but holy fuck, his fingers hurt. It didn’t help any that Jensen was laughing, practically falling off the bed in his amusement and clutching his stomach. Normally, he loved Jensen’s laugh, loved the way his eyes crinkled and he giggled like a five-year-old, but he was in pain, dammit. He shook his hand out, pouting, and Jensen eventually calmed down. He sat up, wrapping a hand around Jared’s other wrist and tugging him down on the bed.
His laughter died as he sucked in a breath. “You’re bleeding! Jesus Christ, Jay. Are you all right?” he asked anxiously, cradling Jared’s hand gently.
“Yeah, fine. It’s just a flesh wound,” he answered, but what he really wanted to do was scream “Ow! Fuck, it hurts!” and cry like a little girl.
“Idiot,” he muttered, rolling his eyes fondly. “Stay here. I’ll get a bandage.”
He rushed off to the bathroom and came back with antiseptic and some bandages. Jared jerked his hand away at the cold sting of the antiseptic, but Jensen had a firm grip on him. He bent over and blew on it, and certain parts of Jared definitely perked up at that. Squirming, he waited it out while Jensen cleaned and bandaged his fingers.
“You’ll make a good mom someday, Jen,” he joked, admiring Jensen’s neat handiwork.
Jensen snorted, then glanced at him, all mirth gone from his beautiful green eyes. “You all right, man?”
“Yeah, just-” He shrugged, ducking his head. “Feeling kinda stupid. I guess I killed the mood, huh?”
Smiling, Jensen kissed him lightly on the lips, then over his bandage down to the palm of his hand. Jared’s fingers twitched.
“We have all day, Jared,” Jensen reminded him. “And you didn’t kill anything. Come on.”
Jensen hooked onto Jared’s belt loops, tugging him back on the bed and settling on top of him. As Jensen mouthed at his jaw and lined their hips up in a dirty, hot grind, Jared forgot about everything else and grinned against Jensen’s unshaven cheek.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OFC
Rating: PG, maybe, for some swearing
Word Count: 2600
Disclaimer: I can only fantasize that this is really going on. Alas, it's not. Unless it is, and if so, I want photographic evidence, dammit!
Summary: Jared gets a new girlfriend. Jensen gets jealous.
A/N 1: I've had this done since March but totally forgot about it. All the oh-no-Jensen's-moving-out hoopla from Asylum reminded me that it's been languishing in my documents for months. Seems an apropos time to post it.
It starts with a giggle. A decidedly feminine giggle coming from his kitchen. Jensen walks cautiously around the corner to find an unfamiliar woman sitting on the counter beside where Jared’s leaning, her thigh pressed against his arm. She has on one of Jared’s t-shirts; it covers enough, but leaves most of her legs bare. They’re smiling goofily at each other as the woman sips coffee. She’s tiny, brunette, and has great boobs. Jared certainly has a type.
Jensen’s stomach turns over, then plummets to his feet. He might actually throw up, and isn’t that a bit of an overreaction?
Jared notices him hovering in the doorway and grins. “Hey, Jen! Mornin’!”
Jensen grunts out a reply, his brain still mostly asleep and preoccupied with processing the presence of this strange woman.
Rolling his eyes, Jared gestures to the counter by the fridge. “There’s coffee. Holly just made it, so it’s still fresh.”
Jensen grunts again. He snags a mug, pours himself some coffee, and retreats to the other side of the room.
“He’s always like this in the morning. Big pain in the ass,” Jared tells Holly, and she giggles.
Especially when there’s a half-naked woman in my kitchen, stroking your wrist.
Jared introduces them properly, and Jensen musters enough of his manners to shake her hand and bare his teeth in an approximation of a smile. Holly’s voice has a musical quality to it, her grip is strong, and Jensen kinda hates her a little.
“Well, I need to get to work,” Holly announces, setting her mug on the counter. “I’ll see you later?” It comes out somewhere between a statement and a question, and Jared freaking beams at her.
“Yeah. Yeah, definitely,” he says.
Holly hops off the counter and stands on her tiptoes, and Jared bends down to meet her halfway for a kiss. Jensen buries his head in his mug and doesn’t watch, or else he really will throw up. Jared watches her leave the kitchen, the same goofy smile on his face. Jensen occupies himself with making toast, hoping it’ll calm his stupidly roiling stomach, and they don’t talk until after Jared walks Holly to the front door and comes back. They take a long time to say goodbye.
“You really are a grumpy bastard in the morning, Jensen.” Jared swats the back of his head as he passes, and Jensen flips him off.
“So, did I miss something?” he asks, turning around to lean against the counter, trying to casually eat his toast and not let on to Jared how ridiculously upset he is by this.
Jared beams again. It’s getting annoying.
“We met at the park last night, when I was walking Sadie and Harley. She was jogging, and Harley got a little too enthusiastic with her,” Jared explains.
So did you, apparently.
“She’s a doctor, cardio-something-or-other. We just started talking, and I don’t know. It just kinda happened.” He shrugs, grinning.
Jensen had gotten home completely exhausted last night and immediately went to his room, falling asleep in the middle of studying the script for the next day. But Jared seemingly has more energy than a kid hyped-up on sugar and can pick up random women at the park. He’d rather not know that, or see the evidence firsthand.
“That’s cool,” he mutters and dumps the dregs of his coffee in the sink. It tastes terrible anyway. And he will so not admit it’s the bitterness of jealousy on his tongue and not anything to do with Holly’s ability to make coffee.
**
It only gets worse after that. Jared’s incapable of doing one-night stands or casual relationships, and suddenly Holly is everywhere. It’s always Holly this and Holly that and Holly wants to do this and Holly doesn’t like this and Holly spending time snuggled on the couch with Jared and Holly just always there. It would be easier if she were a ditz or cruel or annoying, but she’s not. She’s intelligent, articulate, nice, and pretty much perfect for Jared. Which is the problem, and Jensen can’t take much more of this.
He gets home one afternoon after meeting Tom for lunch, and there they are, cuddling on the couch, giggling and whispering to each other. Jensen speed walks through the living room and slams his door shut. His hands shake, and he feels like an idiot, because this is so dumb, this crush he has on Jared that only seems to grow over the months and doesn’t fade away like he hoped it would. And he’s not kidding anyone, least of all himself, and he knows it. It’s so much more than a crush and edging into love a little more each day. He flops on the bed, still fully clothed, buries his head under the pillow to drown out the happy noises he imagines he can hear from the living room, and falls into a fitful sleep.
The next Saturday he goes out to find a new place to live, signs the lease on the fourth apartment he looks at. It makes him feel better, as if he’s taking control of his life again, but his palms still sweat when he scrawls his name on the dotted line.
He waits until the next day to tell Jared, because Holly goes to church every Sunday and he wants to do this when she’s not around. Jared’s sitting on the floor, throwing a ball down the hallway for Sadie, and Jensen marches up to him, blurts “I’m moving out,” and turns around to head back to his room.
“Hey, wait. You’re what?” Jared asks, grabbing the hem of his jeans so he can’t get away.
“I’m moving out. My new apartment will be ready next week, so…”
“Wait. What? Why?”
Jared looks genuinely confused and upset, but Jensen ignores that. He crosses his arms and watches Sadie chewing on the tennis ball. “This was just a temporary thing, until I found my own place. I got lazy about it.” And comfortable here. And liked being around you too much. “It’s time to go. Thanks for letting me stay here, though.”
“You don’t have to go,” Jared almost pleads, standing up to face him.
“Yeah, I do. Thanks for everything, though, Jay. Really.”
“No problem, Jen. You know that.” He pauses for a beat, then asks, “So, do you need help packing and moving?”
Jensen smiles. “I hoped you’d say that.”
“Fucker,” Jared states, smacking his head gently.
**
His last day in the apartment, it’s just him and Jared, for the first time in longer than Jensen wants to think about. All his stuff is crammed into boxes, and he’s getting excited about the move. For all that this house felt like home, a part of him always thought of it as Jared’s house, so he never fully settled in. He didn’t decorate the way he wanted or necessarily spread his shit out like he normally would, and he’s looking forward to having his own space to do whatever he wants.
They order pizza and drink beer and watch the crappiest movies they can find. Like old times. Like it was before Holly showed up and ruined everything. Jensen sits on the floor with Sadie beside him and Jared on the couch behind him. He sips his beer and leans his head back, feels Jared’s knee against his cheek. It’s perfect, just like this. He closes his eyes, committing it to memory before he moves on with his life.
It’ll be better this way, he thinks. Maybe if he tells himself that enough, he’ll start to believe it.
**
It’s quiet in the house without Jensen there and emptier, which doesn’t make any sense, since the guy didn’t ever make that much noise or take up that much room. Besides, he has Holly here a lot now, and it shouldn’t make that much of a difference. He sees Jensen all the time still, but he misses him. He feels off-kilter, out of whack, unbalanced without Jensen there to bitch moodily at him in the morning or unwind with after a long day shooting or to just be around. It’s silly and stupid, and he needs to quit moping.
“Jared? You okay?” Holly asks, looking up at him from where she’s resting her head on his lap.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine,” he answers, brushing her hair out of her eyes and smiling. He’s not sure how he got so lucky with her, but something still feels off. He doesn’t like this.
“Are you sure? You’ve been kinda…depressed lately.” She sits up on her knees and cups his cheeks. “I’m worried about you, babe.”
He hates when she calls him that, but he never corrects her. She tried to call him Jay once, and that just, no. Jensen uses that nickname, and no one else. “I’m fine. I swear,” he adds at her skeptical look. “It’s just been a hard shoot lately. I’m tired and probably letting Sam’s emotions get to me too much.” It’s not entirely a lie, so he only feels a small niggling of guilt in not telling her everything.
“You should take better care of yourself.”
“That’s what I have you for,” he tells her, smiling and leaning forward to kiss her lightly.
She rolls her eyes at him, but kisses back. “You can’t keep firing on all cylinders, Jared,” she says once they pull part. “Please promise me that you’ll take it easy this weekend.”
“I promise.”
Nodding, she settles back on his lap, and Jared runs a hand through her hair.
**
He’s been dating Holly for five months and Jensen’s been gone for two when it hits Jared why he’s been so moody and miserable lately, why he misses Jensen so much, why he craves every tiny moment with Jensen he can get. He’s lying in bed, contemplating getting up to run with the dogs or workout and thinking about seeing Jensen in a couple hours. Holly’s curled up against his side, but all he can picture is Jensen’s eye-crinkly smile and the laugh only Jared can cause.
“Holy shit! I’m in love with Jensen!” he half-shouts. He sits up and drops his head in his hands, groaning. Holly shifts in her sleep, but doesn’t wake, thank God, because that’s so not a good way to wake your girlfriend up.
He breaks up with her over breakfast. It’s the right thing to do. It’s not fair to stay with her when he’s in love with someone else, but it still kicks him in the gut when her eyes fill with tears. He kisses her goodbye at the door, gently, but she steps away. After she leaves, he stands there awkwardly for a long time, feeling like an asshole, but with this new awareness running through him. He’s not sure how, but everything suddenly becomes clear for him- the way Jensen always acts around Holly, how he moved out so abruptly, the way his name sounds different when Jensen says it. He just hopes it’s not too late.
**
The next few days are weird for him. He has this new sensation dancing under his skin, and it’s hard to keep it hidden and not shout his feelings from the rooftops. Every touch from Jensen, every look, no matter how innocent, sends frissons of heat down his spine, and on the fifth day, he sorta just snaps.
It’s been a long shooting day, starting before the sun came up and ending well after dusk. It rained off and on all day, and tempers were short on set. They’re walking through the trailers to meet Clif at the car, Jensen ahead of him with his hands in his jacket pockets and head bowed against the drizzle.
“I never wanted you to move out!” Jared yells suddenly over the noise of the rain.
Jensen glances over his shoulder at him. He has water dripping off the end of his nose. “Yeah? I never wanted to move out.”
“So why did you?” He jogs to catch up with Jensen, tossing his head to move his damp bangs out of his eyes.
“Because you had Holly, and there wasn’t room for me in your life anymore.”
“There’s always room for you in my life, Jen.”
Jensen tilts his head, considering, before sighing and hunching his shoulders. “Can we just go? It’s starting to rain harder.”
He nods, but he’s frozen in place. Jensen’s a couple feet in front of him when just goes for it and shouts, “I love you! I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life. I was just too fucking stupid to see it!”
Jensen’s back tenses, and he slows to a stop, spinning around to gape at Jared with his mouth half open.
“I want you to come home. I want to deal with your cranky, caffeine-deprived ass in the mornings. I want to fall asleep on the couch with you while watching TV. I want to count your freckles and taste every inch of your skin. I want you in my life every day for the rest of our lives. I just want you to come home and stay, Jen. Just stay, please.”
Jensen had gradually gotten closer to him during his speech, and he stops right in front of him now, close enough to touch. “You’re such a girl,” he murmurs, just loud enough to hear over the rain.
“I know.” He swallows, because Jensen has this soft expression in his eyes, and his heart surges with hope.
“I love you, too. And yes to all of that.”
Jared almost whoops in excitement, but grabs the back of Jensen’s neck instead, tugging him forward to press his lips against Jensen’s. Jensen mewls, burrowing closer, hands slipping into Jared’s sodden, tangled hair. Jensen’s mouth is hot, in contrast to his cold lips from the rain, and Jared angles his head, deepening the kiss. He sucks on Jensen’s bottom lip, maps out the contours of Jensen’s mouth with his tongue, kisses him till his head swims. They’re soaked through and Jensen shivers in his arms and they’re standing in the middle of the parking lot where anyone can see them and none of that matters. It’s perfect. He feels tears slide down his face, mingling with the rain, and he just doesn’t care.
Jensen pulls away, panting, and grins up at him. “Are you crying?” he asks with a smirk, swiping his fingers across Jared’s cheek.
“Maybe,” he hedges.
“Sap.”
“You love it,” he says, mostly confident in Jensen’s answer.
“Yeah, I do,” he confirms and leans back up to kiss him again.
He learns quickly what Jensen likes, what makes him moan or hum or rock his hips. Eons later, they’re interrupted by the beam of headlights shining directly at them. Jared reluctantly looks away from Jensen to glare at Clif.
He rolls the window down with a shit-eating grin and bellows, “Are you guys coming or planning to stay out here all night and catch pneumonia? You couldn’t have your big epiphany inside where it’s nice and dry?”
Jensen flips him off, which only makes Clif laugh. Jared kisses him lightly, he just can’t stop tasting Jensen’s mouth, then nudges him toward the truck. They climb in, dripping all over the place, and Jared meets Clif’s eyes in the rearview mirror.
“Where to, boys?” he asks.
“Home,” Jared answers, gaze sliding to Jensen’s blinding smile.
He settles back into the seat and closes his eyes, their arms around each other and Jensen’s breath warm on his neck.
End
But, here, have a bonus ficlet as well. Jared vs. the Ceiling Fan, wherein Jared is a klutz. approx 700 words
Jared stood by the end of the bed, watching as Jensen finished kicking off his jeans and sat back against the headboard in his boxers. He’d never get tired of this, of being able to see Jensen like that, mostly naked and flushed with want. This was still kinda new, this…whatever it was between them, and he relished every moment, every inch of Jensen’s gorgeous body bared for him.
“Dude, stop staring at me like that. It’s creepy,” Jensen complained, folding his arms over his chest self-consciously and tucking his legs up. “And get with the nakedness. We don’t have all day. Okay, we do, but still. You. Naked now,” he demanded, voice going all rough and deep.
Jared grinned. There were times when they could hold off for hours, teasing and stroking and licking till they shook with need, when it was about exploring and tasting and just being skin-to-skin. But he really loved times like this, too, when Jensen was impatient and desperate and pulses of now throbbed between them. Jensen looked up at him then from beneath his lashes, eyes traveling up slow and hot from his feet and catching on his mouth, and Jared’s knees went a little weak.
Reaching down, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly lifted it up, throwing in a few hip shimmies and hoping it came out more sexy than dorky. Based on Jensen’s impatient growls and the way he crawled toward Jared on the bed, Jared thought he was probably pulling it off. The shirt finally over his head, he whipped his arm up to finish with a flourish, maybe swing it around like a stripper. Except he completely miscalculated his position. The shirt, and a couple of his fingers, got caught up in the ceiling fan in the middle of the room. He immediately let go of the shirt and tried to play it off as just another round of Jared Padalecki’s dorky klutziness, but holy fuck, his fingers hurt. It didn’t help any that Jensen was laughing, practically falling off the bed in his amusement and clutching his stomach. Normally, he loved Jensen’s laugh, loved the way his eyes crinkled and he giggled like a five-year-old, but he was in pain, dammit. He shook his hand out, pouting, and Jensen eventually calmed down. He sat up, wrapping a hand around Jared’s other wrist and tugging him down on the bed.
His laughter died as he sucked in a breath. “You’re bleeding! Jesus Christ, Jay. Are you all right?” he asked anxiously, cradling Jared’s hand gently.
“Yeah, fine. It’s just a flesh wound,” he answered, but what he really wanted to do was scream “Ow! Fuck, it hurts!” and cry like a little girl.
“Idiot,” he muttered, rolling his eyes fondly. “Stay here. I’ll get a bandage.”
He rushed off to the bathroom and came back with antiseptic and some bandages. Jared jerked his hand away at the cold sting of the antiseptic, but Jensen had a firm grip on him. He bent over and blew on it, and certain parts of Jared definitely perked up at that. Squirming, he waited it out while Jensen cleaned and bandaged his fingers.
“You’ll make a good mom someday, Jen,” he joked, admiring Jensen’s neat handiwork.
Jensen snorted, then glanced at him, all mirth gone from his beautiful green eyes. “You all right, man?”
“Yeah, just-” He shrugged, ducking his head. “Feeling kinda stupid. I guess I killed the mood, huh?”
Smiling, Jensen kissed him lightly on the lips, then over his bandage down to the palm of his hand. Jared’s fingers twitched.
“We have all day, Jared,” Jensen reminded him. “And you didn’t kill anything. Come on.”
Jensen hooked onto Jared’s belt loops, tugging him back on the bed and settling on top of him. As Jensen mouthed at his jaw and lined their hips up in a dirty, hot grind, Jared forgot about everything else and grinned against Jensen’s unshaven cheek.