Gardening fail...

[ellenmillion]

So, Internet, do you have any ideas about saving my zucchinis? Yes, my zucchinis, the world's easiest-to-grow plant, are failing. They get about the size of a thumb and start to rot at the tip. There aren't any bugs on them, birds aren't getting to them, the moose haven't eaten them, they have big, healthy leaves and like a hundred giant flowers

Comments

[chrysoula]

Manually introduce the male flowers to the female flowers!

[ellenmillion]

Have done! Crossing fingers that it works!

[sholio]

What chrysoula said! If there are no pollinators around (and on a damp summer like this, there don't seem to be) you have to manually pollinate them or they will rot like you said. You can either use an old paintbrush to gather pollen, or pluck the male flower and rub it all over the female flower's, er, female flowerparts. (I always feel vaguely like I'm molesting my plants when I do this.)

[ellenmillion]

Me and a paintbrush went out and... er... masturbated those poor things - we'll see if it took! Most of the blossoms are still furled, and I've only got the one male blossom so far, so I figured I'd better not pick it.

It's true that I haven't seen any bees in like a month!

[redokapi]

Don't despair. I find taking care of animals much easier than plants. The only plant I have that is thriving is the aloe vera...mostly because it *likes* it when I forget to water it for a month.

[ellenmillion]

*weeps* I've killed aloe vera....

[ankewehner]

Watered it too much?

[ellenmillion]

Yes - two of us not communicating about when it was watered, and not checking the soil before doing so.

[ursulav]

Sounds like it could be a pollinator problem, yup! And if not that, it may just be the cold--don't despair. Some years you get the zucchini, some years the zucchini gets you.

It's okay, really. You're not a failure. This is a gardener's life. There's always a plant that is super easy for everybody ELSE to grow. (I myself have no luck with milkweed, either A. tuberosa or A. incarnata, which are generally listed as super easy, requiring no care, and downright aggressive in the case of A. incarnata. Mine catch fire, fall over, die and sink into the dark tarn.) And this is the first year I've managed to get nasturtiums to take, and those are so easy that they're recommended for small children and idiots.

There will be other years and other zucchini if these don't work.

[ellenmillion]

We'll try the manual method and see if it helps, and... everything about beating myself up (or not) sounds dirty after that.

[draken_art]

We couldn't get sunflowers to grow this year....
Our cucumbers look terrible and though we have bees and they are being pollinated, they aren't producing fruit.
Our tomatoes look sickly compared to last year's bumper crop.
Peppers aren't doing so good either.

However our arctic kiwi vine has "revived" from it's roots after we though it was DEAD. :)

Links I found:
http://my.gardenguides.com/forums/topic/12636
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10191/1071747-47.stm

[draken_art]

(Psst and I live in a warm climate area where plants like these SHOULD grow with little help). ;)

[kiri_moth]

Eh. Zucchinis aren't that exciting anyway. Eat the flowers instead! Squash and zucchini blossom are delicious when stuffed with goat cheese, dipped in tempura batter, and lightly fried to a crisp golden brown. :9

[ellenmillion]

*drools*

I think that cardboard stuffed with goat cheese, tempuraed and fried would be delicious.

(But I do actually really *like* zucchini, so I was very excited about them. :P)

[kiri_moth]

*lol* True, everything is good fried! The flowers are very tasty though. They have a bit of the flavor of the squash. Just be sure to pull the stamens out.

Anyway, I was just thinking that if you have a bumper crop of flowers, you could at least harvest and enjoy some of them while you figure out how to solve the zucchini problem. ;)

[wyld_dandelyon]

You can eat the stamens. They're a different flavor, though, and not everyone likes them. The best-tasting part of the flowers is the petals, you could cut them off and fry them while still attempting to fertilize, I suppose.

Mostly people leave the female flowers alone and eat the male ones, but if you have only the one male, you probably don't want to do that.