THE REAL LJ IDOL SEASON 8 SHOWMANCE MELTDOWN -- PART 3
(SETTING: The Green Room, just a few moments after the end of Part 2. ELLAKITE is still glaring at WHIPCHICK, who has her hand to her mouth in embarrassment. After an appropriately dramatic silence, WHIPCHICK lowers her hand and turns to face ELLAKITE)
WHIPCHICK: (nervous) I... I can explain this.
ELLAKITE: (sarcastic) Oh, I'm *SURE* you can.
WHIPCHICK: (pleading) Look, would you just let me have my say? Considering how you hid your "Baking Sessions" with TIGRKITTN from me, you not really in a position to judge.
ELLAKITE: (cold) I only started baking with TIGRKITTN after I found out about your secret "Koffee Klatches" with JAVA_FIEND.
WHIPCHICK: (pissed) And that excuses what you did?
ELLAKITE: (dismissive) I was just following your example, lady.
WHIPCHICK: (angry) Hey, there's nothing sinful about drinking coffee! *BILLIONS* of people do it every day!
ELLAKITE: (equally angry) There's nothing inappropriate about baking, either!
WHIPCHICK: (furious) Except you won't let me drink coffee when we're together!
ELLAKITE: (equally furious) Only because the smell makes me nauseous! I *told* you that before we started seeing each other!
WHIPCHICK: (SHOUTING) WELL, I *NEED* MY CAFFEINE, ALRIGHT! AND IT'S WRONG OF YOU TO TRY TO DENY ME THAT!!!
ELLAKITE: (SHOUTING JUST AS LOUD) I NEVER SAID YOU *COULDN'T* DRINK COFFEE! I JUST SAID NOT TO DO IT AROUND ME!!!
WHIPCHICK: (SCREAMING) AND I DID AS YOU ASKED, OKAY?! I DID *EXACTLY* WHAT YOU WANTED!! SO WHAT THE F&*K IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!
ELLAKITE: (ALSO SCREAMING) IT'S THE SECRECY!!! JUST LIKE YOU, I CAN'T *STAND* BEING LIED TO!!! IF YOUR MEETINGS WITH JAVA_FIEND WERE SO INNOCENT, WHY'D YOU KEEP THEM A SECRET??!?
WHIPCHICK: (TOP OF LUNGS SHOUT) I WAS TRYING NOT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS!!!
(brief dramatic pause)
ELLAKITE: (stunned expression, voice flat) What?
WHIPCHICK: (teary, voice full of emotion) I know you've got self-esteem issues. I was trying not to make them any worse.
ELLAKITE: (snorts derisively) Oh, really? And how, exactly, were you sparing my self-esteem by keeping your "Koffee Klatches" with JAVA_FIEND a secret?
WHIPCHICK: (pleading) You've got to understand, "Koffee Klatches" are as much a social event as anything else. I don't just need the caffeine, I need the fellowship, the camaraderie--
ELLAKITE: (deeply sarcastic) Oh, I can just *IMAGINE* the camaraderie and fellowship you were sharing with--
WHIPCHICK: (angrily cuts ELLAKITE short) Hey, look me in the eye and tell me that YOU DONT *NEED* SOMEONE TO TALK TO WHEN YOU'RE BAKING!
ELLAKITE: (looks stunned for a few seconds before quietly saying) Go on.
WHIPCHICK: (gently, but still emotional) Just like you need someone to talk to when you're baking, I need someone to talk to when I'm drinking coffee. It's just social interaction... but it adds to the experience. It's important to me, just like it's important to you to have someone with you when you're cooking. I thought it would hurt you when you realized...
ELLAKITE: (needs to know) ... realized what?
WHIPCHICK: (verge of tears) ... when you realized that you couldn't join me in something that's important to me. Something that's part of my daily routine. I can be with you in the kitchen, and give you what you need when you're baking... but you can't do the same for me at my "Koffee Klatches". Because the smell of coffee makes you so nauseous...
ELLAKITE: (finishes the line) ... that I can't even bear to be in the same room as someone drinking it. (ELLAKITE covers his face with his hands) Oh S%|T. (ELLAKITE lowers hands, revealing a face streaked with glycerin tears) You really were trying to protect me.
WHIPCHICK: (apologetic) No, NO! Don't blame yourself! It was wrong of me to hide things from you, I can see that now--
ELLAKITE: (voice trembling) That doesn't excuse what I did in response. I should have confronted you when I found out, and cleared things up. Instead, I peevishly hid things from you.
WHIPCHICK: (supportive) So we both made mistakes! People make mistakes all the time!
ELLAKITE: (self-loathing) But there's a huge difference between what motivated us when we made those mistakes. You can honestly say you hid your "Koffee Klatches" from me because you cared about me... while I hid my "Baking Sessions" from you out of spite... (openly weeping) and in the process... I WENT AND RUINED THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I EVER HAD!!!
(ELLAKITE runs out of The Green Room, sobbing hysterically, while WHIPCHICK looks on, too shocked and distraught to pursue him.)
(sad music swells)
(cut to commercial)
(concluded in Part 4)