fanfic: "First Monday" -- hidden qualities brought to light
Over on face_of_joe, villainny posted a screencap from this episode of First Monday, wherein Julian reveals his passion for urns.
So I wrote commentfic, which I reproduce here. ;3 ( This is the book, although I gave it the cover colour my copy has, which is a very dark pink. ;3)
Miguel made a elaborate grimace of distaste and surprise as he hastily dropped the book back onto Julian's desk -- or would have, if Julian hadn't caught it.
"Why do you have an entire book of pictures of pottery with sex scenes painted on them?!"
"Never mind all the pages of text," Jerry chimed in, the irony of his comment lost in his general tone of mirth.
"You have to understand, most of these artifacts have been hidden away in private collections and museum vaults since the Victorian period, in a deliberate attempt to keep the public view of the Classical period as being enlightened and 'pure' intact." Julian explained this so earnestly that Jerry had to turn away and cover his mouth with his hand or he'd lose it.
"I can see why!" Miguel snapped, face red.
"Surely you can't support this kind of cover-up!" Julian protested. He tapped the book's dusty rose cover for emphasis. "This book presents evidence that should not be ignored while examining one of the cultures on which Western civilization is consciously modeled. The birthplace of democracy, Miguel! And the number of depictions of prostitution alone --"
"Oh my God," Ellie said from the doorway, clutching an armful of folders to herself. "Do I even want to know what you're talking about?"
"No," Miguel said firmly, turning, if anything, even redder.
"You only say that because you know she'd support my position," Julian rejoined, somehow managing to sound lofty and snide at the same time.
"Did you know our Julian is an ancient history buff?" Jerry asked far too brightly.
"Apparently he's an expert on urns," Ellie replied dryly, causing Julian to beam at her, Miguel to scowl at Julian, and Jerry to finally crack up.
__________________________
Later, in the Chief Justice's chambers, Julian responded to what he hoped would be the last summons of the evening by bringing in a number of file folders.
Chief Justice Brankin was seated behind his desk, glasses perched on his nose such that he could easily look at Julian over the top of them, raising one eyebrow as he silently gestured to the spot where he wanted the files placed.
"Julian," he said, tone hovering in the familiar territory stretching between exasperated and amused. "Do I really need to comment on how a book with the name of a portion of human genitalia in the title and containing images of sexual intercourse is inappropriate for this work environment?"
Julian's spine straightened.
"No, Chief Justice."
Brankin sighed and removed his glasses.
"I hesitate to use the word 'pornography' to describe a scholarly work --"
"It would be appropriate," Julian said quickly.
"Would it." Brankin's response was more warning than question.
"Yes, sir. The Classical Athenian word for prostitute was porne. Pornography literally means 'drawings of prostitutes', which the book contains."
Brankin sighed deeply, making a shooing gesture.
"Next time, leave the porn-ay at home and your urns at the museum, Julian."
"Yes, Chief Justice," Julian replied, looking as contrite as a scolded schoolboy -- i.e. not very -- as he left the office. He was pleased with himself; that case about censoring art books in public libraries should be up for review by the end of the week. Confident that he'd set the stage to the best of his ability, he gathered up his things and headed out, careful not to start whistling until he hit the stairs.
.
So I wrote commentfic, which I reproduce here. ;3 ( This is the book, although I gave it the cover colour my copy has, which is a very dark pink. ;3)
Miguel made a elaborate grimace of distaste and surprise as he hastily dropped the book back onto Julian's desk -- or would have, if Julian hadn't caught it.
"Why do you have an entire book of pictures of pottery with sex scenes painted on them?!"
"Never mind all the pages of text," Jerry chimed in, the irony of his comment lost in his general tone of mirth.
"You have to understand, most of these artifacts have been hidden away in private collections and museum vaults since the Victorian period, in a deliberate attempt to keep the public view of the Classical period as being enlightened and 'pure' intact." Julian explained this so earnestly that Jerry had to turn away and cover his mouth with his hand or he'd lose it.
"I can see why!" Miguel snapped, face red.
"Surely you can't support this kind of cover-up!" Julian protested. He tapped the book's dusty rose cover for emphasis. "This book presents evidence that should not be ignored while examining one of the cultures on which Western civilization is consciously modeled. The birthplace of democracy, Miguel! And the number of depictions of prostitution alone --"
"Oh my God," Ellie said from the doorway, clutching an armful of folders to herself. "Do I even want to know what you're talking about?"
"No," Miguel said firmly, turning, if anything, even redder.
"You only say that because you know she'd support my position," Julian rejoined, somehow managing to sound lofty and snide at the same time.
"Did you know our Julian is an ancient history buff?" Jerry asked far too brightly.
"Apparently he's an expert on urns," Ellie replied dryly, causing Julian to beam at her, Miguel to scowl at Julian, and Jerry to finally crack up.
__________________________
Later, in the Chief Justice's chambers, Julian responded to what he hoped would be the last summons of the evening by bringing in a number of file folders.
Chief Justice Brankin was seated behind his desk, glasses perched on his nose such that he could easily look at Julian over the top of them, raising one eyebrow as he silently gestured to the spot where he wanted the files placed.
"Julian," he said, tone hovering in the familiar territory stretching between exasperated and amused. "Do I really need to comment on how a book with the name of a portion of human genitalia in the title and containing images of sexual intercourse is inappropriate for this work environment?"
Julian's spine straightened.
"No, Chief Justice."
Brankin sighed and removed his glasses.
"I hesitate to use the word 'pornography' to describe a scholarly work --"
"It would be appropriate," Julian said quickly.
"Would it." Brankin's response was more warning than question.
"Yes, sir. The Classical Athenian word for prostitute was porne. Pornography literally means 'drawings of prostitutes', which the book contains."
Brankin sighed deeply, making a shooing gesture.
"Next time, leave the porn-ay at home and your urns at the museum, Julian."
"Yes, Chief Justice," Julian replied, looking as contrite as a scolded schoolboy -- i.e. not very -- as he left the office. He was pleased with himself; that case about censoring art books in public libraries should be up for review by the end of the week. Confident that he'd set the stage to the best of his ability, he gathered up his things and headed out, careful not to start whistling until he hit the stairs.
.