Fic: The Price You Pay - Pt 1
Title: The Price You Pay
Author: Broedy
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Nate, Beth
Summary: Picking up where *expletive* episode 209 left off, Nate and Beth wait to hear Eli's prognosis.
Beth rushed through the doors of the emergency room, her eyes frantically searching for Nate. He couldn't help it - he felt an overwhelming sense of relief when he saw her and could only stand there watching mutely until she found him.
"Nate?" She hesitated only briefly, her expression full of worry, before enveloping him in a hug.
He clung to her for a moment, allowing himself to be comforted by her familiar embrace, before he reluctantly pulled away.
"Have you heard anything?" Beth asked. Her round, dark eyes were searching his face, causing a flash of jealousy that he tried to push deep down.
Nate's voice was rough with emotion. "Ah, they're running some tests. I'm waiting to hear."
"What happened?"
He cringed involuntarily when he was forced to remember. "We were arguing. I said something... I said the one thing I knew would hurt him the most. And then he was bleeding. I don't know..."
Beth clasped a hand under his elbow and lowered him into a waiting chair. It was only then Nate felt that his legs had turned to jelly. He found it hard to focus his eyes on anything as he thought about the look on Eli's face, until Beth's hand squeezed around his own and forced him to look at her.
"I'm sure he'll be okay," she said reassuringly, though he could hear the fear in her words.
Nate forced himself to keep it together. "Thank you for coming. I didn't have anyone else to call. With Mom away..."
"You don't have to explain." Her eyes dropped to the floor.
"Plus I figured you'd want to know. Be here for Eli," he admitted. He didn't like acknowledging Beth's feelings for his brother but they could not be avoided. They had caused her to call off their wedding, after all.
"I wanted to be here for you."
Nate smirked half heartedly, not believing her. But he wasn't about to get into an argument with her, too. It wasn't the time or the place, and the emotions surrounding their relationship were too raw, too newly decimated.
"Where's Ben?" he asked instead.
"Penny's still staying with me. She's watching him."
"Of course. We were supposed to be..."
"On our honeymoon, yeah."
Nate looked down at her hand which was still curled around his. He didn't know what it meant that she was still wearing her engagement ring. The brief conversations they'd had since Vegas all pointed to the fact that it was over. He sighed to himself. He would worry about it some other time. For now he had to concentrate on Eli.
"I don't know what I'm going to say to our mother," Nate said. "It would have been bad enough her returning from her cruise to find that her eldest son had eloped, but now... If something happens to Eli..."
"He'll be okay," Beth affirmed. "He has to be."
Nate's eyes met hers with a flash of betrayal before he looked away, swallowing hard. He slowly but determinedly pulled his hand out of hers, and ignored the quiet yelp from her when he did so. Nate stared at the admit desk, willing one of the phone calls to be about Eli, or that one of the medical staff emerging from the ER swing doors was going to seek him out to update him on his brother's condition.
Beth sat rigidly beside him and they waited in a painful silence.
0 0 0 0
"When did you know?" he asked quietly when they stood by a vending machine an hour later, waiting for thin, miserable coffee to pour into a waiting paper cup.
Beth looked up after retrieving her beverage and frowned.
"About how you felt about Eli," Nate clarified, his gaze not meeting hers. "I'm trying to work out if I was just being blind or stupid... Because I didn't see it. I thought we were happy."
"We were." She ducked her head guiltily. "I... I don't know when."
"You don't think you owe me an explanation?"
His sharp words caused her to look at him and then wish she hadn't. Beth took a few steps away from him and he thought the conversation was over until she glanced back in his direction, not making eye contact.
"When we reconnected over the trial, it was like I'd known him all my life. I trusted him so completely, and it had been years since I could trust any man. But he was engaged to Taylor and out of the blue I got the invitation to their engagement party. And I met you."
Beth smiled slightly at the remembrance and Nate caught a glimpse from where he stood behind her.
He cleared his throat to cover the longing he felt for her smile. "That part I'm familiar with. I was more interested in later. After I proposed and you said yes. You said you loved me."
"I did," Beth said quickly, turning to face him properly. "I do."
Nate turned away, his mouth down turned.
"But I couldn't deny what I was feeling for Eli. After everything he did for Ben and me, for you and me, too... I don't know. I just felt I had to be honest. It wouldn't have been fair to you. I didn't want to hurt you."
"Well, you did a bang up job there," Nate said, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice or the blaze of anger in his eyes when he looked at her again. He refused to feel bad when Beth's eyes welled with tears.
"Nate, I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," she said imploringly. "You have to believe me. But I couldn't marry you and wonder if maybe what I was feeling was more than just a leftover crush, that Eli trying to reconnect with me all those months ago when he found out about us wasn't just because he was lonely... I needed to know if he felt anything more for me than a sister-in-law... I had to find out."
"And did you?" Nate asked with difficulty.
Beth blinked, causing two tears to run down her face. "Yes. I asked him, and he said no."
She looked away as she wiped her cheeks, hiding behind one shaking hand. Nate could tell she was trying hard not to cry further. He didn't know how he felt about what she was telling him. He hadn't wanted to hear Eli's side of it - it was easier just to blame him. And Beth. Assign the blame to those responsible for ripping his heart out of his chest and maybe it could be bearable.
But Nate was finding that it wasn't so simple. He couldn't rule a line under the past year and pretend he didn't still love Beth, that he didn't still want to marry her and be a father to Ben. It would be a blessing if he could. Instead the situation was messy and difficult, and he was unsure what would happen. He couldn't even bring himself to contemplate the fact that something might be seriously wrong with Eli… that they might lose him. Nate couldn't deal with that.
"Nate?"
Beth had to repeat his name before he escaped his dark thoughts and looked at her again. She set her coffee down and took a few hesitant steps towards him.
"I'm sorry that this happened. All of it. I ruined everything," she said. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I do love you. You believe me, right?"
Nate found himself nodding reluctantly, unable to tear his eyes away from hers.
"Is there any way we can try and get past this?"
His breathing grew quicker as he fought against a rush of emotions. "I won't be a consolation prize, Beth. I don't deserve that."
"You're not. You're the best man I've ever known and I don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry I hurt you..."
Beth placed a hand on his chest, her tearful gaze boring into his as he felt all of his resolve crumble.
"Nate, I love you."
They both heard a throat being cleared and turned to see a nurse standing a few feet away.
"Dr. Stone? Dr. Thomson has your brother's results. If you'd like to come with me I'll take you through."
Nate glanced at Beth, panicked, before he reluctantly nodded and followed the nurse. He didn't look back.
Author: Broedy
Rating: T
Characters/Pairings: Nate, Beth
Summary: Picking up where *expletive* episode 209 left off, Nate and Beth wait to hear Eli's prognosis.
Beth rushed through the doors of the emergency room, her eyes frantically searching for Nate. He couldn't help it - he felt an overwhelming sense of relief when he saw her and could only stand there watching mutely until she found him.
"Nate?" She hesitated only briefly, her expression full of worry, before enveloping him in a hug.
He clung to her for a moment, allowing himself to be comforted by her familiar embrace, before he reluctantly pulled away.
"Have you heard anything?" Beth asked. Her round, dark eyes were searching his face, causing a flash of jealousy that he tried to push deep down.
Nate's voice was rough with emotion. "Ah, they're running some tests. I'm waiting to hear."
"What happened?"
He cringed involuntarily when he was forced to remember. "We were arguing. I said something... I said the one thing I knew would hurt him the most. And then he was bleeding. I don't know..."
Beth clasped a hand under his elbow and lowered him into a waiting chair. It was only then Nate felt that his legs had turned to jelly. He found it hard to focus his eyes on anything as he thought about the look on Eli's face, until Beth's hand squeezed around his own and forced him to look at her.
"I'm sure he'll be okay," she said reassuringly, though he could hear the fear in her words.
Nate forced himself to keep it together. "Thank you for coming. I didn't have anyone else to call. With Mom away..."
"You don't have to explain." Her eyes dropped to the floor.
"Plus I figured you'd want to know. Be here for Eli," he admitted. He didn't like acknowledging Beth's feelings for his brother but they could not be avoided. They had caused her to call off their wedding, after all.
"I wanted to be here for you."
Nate smirked half heartedly, not believing her. But he wasn't about to get into an argument with her, too. It wasn't the time or the place, and the emotions surrounding their relationship were too raw, too newly decimated.
"Where's Ben?" he asked instead.
"Penny's still staying with me. She's watching him."
"Of course. We were supposed to be..."
"On our honeymoon, yeah."
Nate looked down at her hand which was still curled around his. He didn't know what it meant that she was still wearing her engagement ring. The brief conversations they'd had since Vegas all pointed to the fact that it was over. He sighed to himself. He would worry about it some other time. For now he had to concentrate on Eli.
"I don't know what I'm going to say to our mother," Nate said. "It would have been bad enough her returning from her cruise to find that her eldest son had eloped, but now... If something happens to Eli..."
"He'll be okay," Beth affirmed. "He has to be."
Nate's eyes met hers with a flash of betrayal before he looked away, swallowing hard. He slowly but determinedly pulled his hand out of hers, and ignored the quiet yelp from her when he did so. Nate stared at the admit desk, willing one of the phone calls to be about Eli, or that one of the medical staff emerging from the ER swing doors was going to seek him out to update him on his brother's condition.
Beth sat rigidly beside him and they waited in a painful silence.
0 0 0 0
"When did you know?" he asked quietly when they stood by a vending machine an hour later, waiting for thin, miserable coffee to pour into a waiting paper cup.
Beth looked up after retrieving her beverage and frowned.
"About how you felt about Eli," Nate clarified, his gaze not meeting hers. "I'm trying to work out if I was just being blind or stupid... Because I didn't see it. I thought we were happy."
"We were." She ducked her head guiltily. "I... I don't know when."
"You don't think you owe me an explanation?"
His sharp words caused her to look at him and then wish she hadn't. Beth took a few steps away from him and he thought the conversation was over until she glanced back in his direction, not making eye contact.
"When we reconnected over the trial, it was like I'd known him all my life. I trusted him so completely, and it had been years since I could trust any man. But he was engaged to Taylor and out of the blue I got the invitation to their engagement party. And I met you."
Beth smiled slightly at the remembrance and Nate caught a glimpse from where he stood behind her.
He cleared his throat to cover the longing he felt for her smile. "That part I'm familiar with. I was more interested in later. After I proposed and you said yes. You said you loved me."
"I did," Beth said quickly, turning to face him properly. "I do."
Nate turned away, his mouth down turned.
"But I couldn't deny what I was feeling for Eli. After everything he did for Ben and me, for you and me, too... I don't know. I just felt I had to be honest. It wouldn't have been fair to you. I didn't want to hurt you."
"Well, you did a bang up job there," Nate said, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice or the blaze of anger in his eyes when he looked at her again. He refused to feel bad when Beth's eyes welled with tears.
"Nate, I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," she said imploringly. "You have to believe me. But I couldn't marry you and wonder if maybe what I was feeling was more than just a leftover crush, that Eli trying to reconnect with me all those months ago when he found out about us wasn't just because he was lonely... I needed to know if he felt anything more for me than a sister-in-law... I had to find out."
"And did you?" Nate asked with difficulty.
Beth blinked, causing two tears to run down her face. "Yes. I asked him, and he said no."
She looked away as she wiped her cheeks, hiding behind one shaking hand. Nate could tell she was trying hard not to cry further. He didn't know how he felt about what she was telling him. He hadn't wanted to hear Eli's side of it - it was easier just to blame him. And Beth. Assign the blame to those responsible for ripping his heart out of his chest and maybe it could be bearable.
But Nate was finding that it wasn't so simple. He couldn't rule a line under the past year and pretend he didn't still love Beth, that he didn't still want to marry her and be a father to Ben. It would be a blessing if he could. Instead the situation was messy and difficult, and he was unsure what would happen. He couldn't even bring himself to contemplate the fact that something might be seriously wrong with Eli… that they might lose him. Nate couldn't deal with that.
"Nate?"
Beth had to repeat his name before he escaped his dark thoughts and looked at her again. She set her coffee down and took a few hesitant steps towards him.
"I'm sorry that this happened. All of it. I ruined everything," she said. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I do love you. You believe me, right?"
Nate found himself nodding reluctantly, unable to tear his eyes away from hers.
"Is there any way we can try and get past this?"
His breathing grew quicker as he fought against a rush of emotions. "I won't be a consolation prize, Beth. I don't deserve that."
"You're not. You're the best man I've ever known and I don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry I hurt you..."
Beth placed a hand on his chest, her tearful gaze boring into his as he felt all of his resolve crumble.
"Nate, I love you."
They both heard a throat being cleared and turned to see a nurse standing a few feet away.
"Dr. Stone? Dr. Thomson has your brother's results. If you'd like to come with me I'll take you through."
Nate glanced at Beth, panicked, before he reluctantly nodded and followed the nurse. He didn't look back.