Spike on AtS. (It's all about Angel...)
Some people say that Spike had no reason for being on AtS, except as a tool for the executives to up the ratings. This never made sense to me, and the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Sure Spike was part of the reason AtS got another season, but I cannot think of a single character in the entire ‘verse who’d be more suited to AtS in every way. I will even go so far as to say that he makes *more* sense on AtS than on BtVS. On Buffy he stuck around because he loved Buffy - that was his connection. Without that (in S4) it was hard to see where he fitted in. Because Buffy is very different to Angel:
BtVS is about Buffy and The Scoobies. It is about a young girl/woman and her friends... and by extension any lovers. When in S5 family becomes an overriding theme the writers had to add a magically made-up sister, because Buffy’s only blood kin was her mother - her friends fill the role of family most of the time.
AtS is - by the very nature of its hero - different. Angel is a 250 year old vampire, and although the overriding theme is obviously redemption, family and history come a very, very close second. Even in the rather shaky S1 we have Spike and Penn popping up from his past, and several flashbacks to his life with Darla and Dru. Then come S2-4 and where would those be without Darla and Connor (and Dru to a lesser extent)? Angelus was a family man, and so is Angel... the story of those seasons all spring from his past and the consequences of that - how this impacts on his life now. His role as Darla’s childe/companion/partner and Connor’s father are pivotal. And then at the end of S4 he sells them all out to W&H for Connor’s sake...
“You gotta do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father.”
Connor, ‘Origin’
This essay is a look at what roles Spike took in S5 of AtS - looked at only from Angel’s side (Spike-centric, but not about Spike if you get my point). I know I’ve touched upon this before, but this is far more indepth. It’s in two parts, and as ususal I’ve got a million quotes:
Spike as Connor
In ‘Home’ a whole chapter of Angel’s life comes to its close. He lets go of Connor and his responsibility for him. And for around three weeks he is free of any family worries... until Spike appears! And Spike... Spike has Daddy issues to rival Connor's:
“It’s you! You’re the reason my life sucks!”
Connor (I forget which episode - any in S4 would probably do)
“You! This is all your fault!”
Spike, ‘Just Rewards’
To briefly quote romanyg’s most excellent Spangel Manifesto:
‘Spike returns as the reluctant prodigal. He doesn't get the welcome, the coffee cake, the fatted calf. The fatted calf will always belong to Connor. Of course, none of them now have a clue as to Connor. Spike just knows that the calf is withheld.’
And Spike is rather resentful of that to say the least...
Because the thing is - Spike is the anti-Connor. Angel’s ‘crime’ as concerns Connor was losing him. He was stolen and used and abused throughout his 18 years - by Holtz, by Evil!Cordy, by Jasmine. He blames Angel, and Angel blames Angel:
Angel: “I mean, you were stuck in a - hell dimension. - Connor - I'm so sorry. I tried to get you back. I did. I tried to come after you. I would have done anything. I just... I just... I couldn't find a way in."
Connor: "I found a way out."
‘Tomorrow’
Connor: “You tried to love me. At least I think you did.”
Angel: “I still do.”
Connor: “But not enough to hang on, dad. You let him take me. You let him get me. You let him get me.”
‘Home’
But Spike... Spike was to a great extent Angelus’s creation. For 18 years (and OMG the parallels! This is fabulous!) he was under Angelus’s tutelage:
Spike: “You were my sire, man. My Yoda!”
‘School Hard’
And Angel acknowledges this:
Angel: “I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there.”
Spike: “I did. I'm surrounded by idiots.”
He also knows what kind of monster he created:
Giles: “Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced.”
Angel: “He's worse. Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.”
But... Angel does not feel responsible for Spike in the same way, although he was the one doing the damage. Spike isn’t a lost little boy. And yet Angel still has to deal with the resentment:
Spike: Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me.
Angel: Tell it to your therapist.
Spike: 'Cause every time you look at me... you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.
‘Destiny’
So we see Spike blaming Angel for who he is - just like Connor. Through neglect or teaching, they both think that Angel created them. But - then they go different paths:
Connor: I can't feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too.
‘Home’
Angel: I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door... and let the real you out.
Spike: You never knew the real me! Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!
‘Destiny’
And here we touch on the other thing - Spike never needed Angel to ‘fix’ him or rescue him. Spike did that all by himself thank-you-very-much. Only... here’s the thing. To quote kita0610’s essay ‘A Century of Slash: Angel & Spike’:
From Drusilla’s affections to Buffy’s, from fighting on the side of good to gaining a soul, Spike, since Day One, has followed in “Daddy’s” footsteps. And has resented the hell out of it.
And Angel... Angel resents him for it too! Because as we saw in ‘Awakening’ Angel dreamt of Connor following in his footsteps... of wanting to be just like Daddy:
Connor: Is this what it feels like, being a champion?
Angel (smiles): Pretty much.
‘Awakening’
It was Connor who was supposed to choose to fight alongside him... not Spike.
Spike: So here we are then. Two vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.
Angel: Is that what you think you are? A hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn’t I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you’ve done it a couple more times.
‘Destiny’
It’s not easy for Spike to get Daddy’s approval... Apparently even dying to save the world isn’t enough.
There is of course also the issue of women... because in both cases Angel had ‘his’ woman taken over by his offspring. He never had a relationship with Cordy the way he hoped - it was Connor who looked after Cordy and slept with her:
ANGELUS: Is that my shirt?
CONNOR: Not anymore.
ANGELUS: Looks good on you, son.
CONNOR: (smirks) So did Cordy.
‘Soulless’
Connor taking Angel’s clothes (his identity) and his woman. And it’s repeated with Spike, but moreso - where Cordy was being used by Jasmine and probably wouldn’t have ended up with Connor if she’d had free will, Buffy fell for - and slept with, repeatedly - Spike! And she gave him Angel’s amulet (should be worn by a Champion)... his identity!
SPIKE: You can't keep her from me.
ANGEL: She's not mine to keep... or yours.
SPIKE: Says you. You got no idea what we had.
ANGEL: You never had her.
SPIKE: More than you, you poncy-
‘Just Rewards’
But as I said - Spike isn’t a confused child. Angel is forever having to handle Connor with kid gloves, desperately trying to save him:
CONNOR: Cordy... you swore you loved me. Where are you now?
ANGEL: Connor... you have to believe that there are people who love you.
‘Home’
Spike however gets the no-holds-barred treatment:
ANGEL: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you - Because you weren't me.
SPIKE: Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her.
‘Destiny’
And oh it’s brutal... but then it’s probably also very healthy. Because after getting all their major grievances out in the open, the two of them slowly come to accept each other - the last two remaining members of their family (not counting Dru).
Except of course for - Lawson! Oh! [has big epiphany] I am a brain-dead moron! ‘Why We Fight’ is all about Connor (Angel even calls Lawson ‘son’)! And the way he captures and threatens to kill Angel’s crew is such a blatant call-back to ‘Home’ that I cannot believe that I never saw it before:
Connor: You might not want to move. Everyone's rigged. Can't save 'em all, dad. Don't know who's gonna be first. Could be any one of 'em. Could be me. Could be her.
‘Home’
And would you believe it, but Lawson does *exactly* the same. One of the first things Angel says when he enters the sub is: "I need you to trust that I'm gonna get us all through this... safe and sound." Except of course they don't. So when Lawson says this:
Lawson: I do need you to trust that I'm gonna get us all through this, safe and sound. Easy now. That's double-ought wire wrapped around your crew's necks. Take a fella's head clean off with just a little tug. Best not go roughhousing. Something might get knocked over.
He is effectively echoing Connor's "Can't save them all dad!" Lawson is as suicidal as Connor and counting on Angel to keep his promise:
LAWSON: You sure you want to do that, chief?
ANGEL: Fairly certain I said I'd kill you if I ever saw you again.
And again we see the family ties - Angel let Lawson go the first time, just like he let Spike go (back then, and many times after that). The only reason he ended up killing Darla was because she threatened Buffy’s life. Family ties are deeply ingrained into Angel.
But - back to Connor and Lawson. We have a suicidal child(e), blaming Angel for destroying his life - for making him feel nothing. Dear Lord the parallels:
CONNOR: I didn't feel anything! I can't feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too.
‘Home’
LAWSON: I did all the terrible things a monster does-murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream-and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way? [...] You gave me just enough, didn't you? Enough of your soul to keep me trapped between who I was and who I should be. I'm nothin'... because of you.
‘Why We Fight’
Connor feels that he cannot be human because of the part of him that’s a monster, thanks to Angel. Lawson has the opposite problem - just that tiny bit of soul, preventing him from being a monster like he should. And - knowing what they need - Angel kills them both:
CONNOR: There's only one thing that ever changes anything... and that's death. Everything else is just a lie. You can't be saved by a lie. You can't be saved at all.
ANGEL: I really do love you, Connor.
CONNOR: So what are you gonna do about it?
ANGEL: Prove it.
[cuts his throat, triggering the mindwipe]
ANGEL: You really want it to end like this?
LAWSON: Sounds like a plan. (searching Angel's eyes) Come on, chief. Give me a mission.
[Angel dusts him]
And then - Spike comes to see Angel. Spike, the one son who found the balance between monster and man without Angel’s help. The one that Angel finds himself almost leaning on, because - bizarrely - he can talk to him:
SPIKE: Know revenge is best served cold and all, but his must've been frozen solid.
ANGEL: I don't think that's what he was after.
SPIKE: No? Then what was he looking for?
ANGEL: A reason.
And will Spike find a reason? Would Connor if he had the opportunity again? Well - over the next few episodes both Connor and Spike make an informed choice to stay or go:
Connor: “This whole fighting thing, I'm not... I'm not really sure it's for me.”
‘Origin’
Spike: “It's what I want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's comin', Angel. We both feel it... and it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illyria. Things are gonna get ugly. That's where I live.”
‘Shells’
In the end - when Angel takes down The Black Thorn - Connor does come to help him, fighting alongside his father just like Angel always hoped. And then - he sends him away.
Angel: You go home.
Connor: Huh?
Angel: This is my fight.
Connor: They'll destroy you.
Angel: As long as you're OK, they can't. Go.
‘Not Fade Away’
Because he finally can let go of Connor completely, let him have his own life. He doesn’t need or want his son to live out his own dreams anymore. (And I like to think that in a very real sense Connor is the shashu come true.)
And also Angel has Spike to fight beside him.
Spike: In terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
‘Not Fade Away’
Spike made Angel’s fight his own, and Angel let him take Connor’s place.
But that’s only one side of it.
Spike as Angel
To quote romanyg again:
And Spike finally does what Angel never did: he willingly dies for the world. He becomes the champion that Angel struggles to be. [...] And Angel does acknowledge jealousy, fear, that he will be surpassed, that he isn't the saviour, but merely the heralder, the one who comes before.
We see Angel’s jealousy as soon as Spike appears:
SPIKE: Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by-
FRED: E-excuse me?
WESLEY: Did-did you just say- Spike has a soul? You never said.
ANGEL: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
GUNN: Seems to be a lot of that.
SPIKE: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club-another vampire with a soul in the world.
Much as Angel hates what he is, he likes his unique status. He is The Vampire With A Soul - with no one to compare him to, it’s not possible to judge him... But as soon as Spike shows up, suddenly there is a scale. And on that scale - well who’s more heroic? The vampire who was cursed with a soul, or the one who fought for it? The one who sacrificed his life for the world, or the one who took over an evil law firm?
No wonder Angel is so defensive.
It’s a classic case of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’:
SPIKE: You're my problem. You got it too good. You're king of a 30-floor castle, with all the cars, comfort, power, and glory you could ever want, and here I save the world, throw myself onto the proverbial hand grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's not fair.
ANGEL: Fair?! You asked for a soul. I didn't! It almost killed me. I spent a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent 3 weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine! What's fair about that?!
‘Just Rewards’
So we have resentment reaching up to the sky... but also intimate knowledge of each other, and the fact that they’re only two who know what it’s like to be a souled vampire. Champions no less...
FRED: He just saved the world. Vampire with a soul fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion.
‘Hell Bound’
And so comes a moment of bridging the gap:
ANGEL: You're starting to feel it, aren't you? How close you are now... to hell?
SPIKE: What if I am? Not like it's such a big, bleeding deal, is it? If a ponce like you could break out-
ANGEL: I never escaped from hell. All I got was a short reprieve. Not even sure how I managed that.
SPIKE: Oh, put your martyr away, Mahatma. Fred told me all about your great, shining prophecy. Pile up all your good deeds and get the big brass ring handed to you like everything else.
ANGEL: Except for one small catch. The prophecy's a bunch of bull. They all are. Nothing's written in stone or fated to happen, Spike. You save the world, you end up running an evil law firm.
SPIKE: Or playin' Casper with one foot in the fryer.
ANGEL: You think any of it matters? The things we did? The lives we destroyed. That's all that's ever gonna count. So, yeah, surprise. You're going to hell. We both are.
‘Hell Bound’
It’s the most wonderful instance of ‘Finally there’s someone just like me - I just wish it wasn’t you!’
Of course from this scene we also see how low Angel’s feeling. He is essentially formulating the same thought he had in ‘Epiphany’ (“If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do”), but coming from the opposite side. Seeing only despair. Helping not because he wants to end people’s suffering, but because what else is he good for? “Some people can’t be saved,” he says and although he’s saying this about Spike, but obviously meaning himself, there’s also a whole new level of cynicism to him - people can’t change. It’s the same attitude that made him kill Hauser in ‘Conviction’. Compare and contrast with S1 Angel:
Wesley: "Well, I have faith in Angel. If anyone can convince him to testify..."
Cordy: "Wesley, you don't change a guy like that. In fact - generally speaking - you don't change a guy. What you see is what you get. Scratch the surface and what do you find? More surface."
[...]
Wesley to Angel: "That young man is very lucky he ran into you."
Angel: "He just needed a little guidance - a push in the right direction."
‘Five By Five’
The motto for ‘Angel Investigations’ was fluid: Sometimes it was ‘We help the helpless’, sometimes ‘We help the hopeless’. Angel isn’t helping the hopeless anymore.
The thing is, he has forgotten Doyle’s very first lesson:
Doyle: “You see this vampire, he thinks he’s helping. Fighting the demons. Staying away from the human’s so as not to be tempted. Doing penance in his little - cell. But he’s cut off. From every thing. From the people he’s trying to help. [...] It’s not all about fighting and gadgets and stuff. It’s about reaching out to people, showing them that there’s love and hope still left in the world. It’s about letting them into your heart. It’s not about saving lives; it’s about saving souls. Hey, possibly your own in the process."
‘City Of...’
It’s a lesson Spike never needed - reaching out to people comes naturally to him. Not to groups at large, but individuals. He chooses to save Fred in ‘Hellbound’ without a second thought, and does not for a moment regret his choice. He saved the girl - his friend - and that’s what matters. It’s doing something ‘faster and more clever’ (‘Every night I save you’). Doesn’t matter if he makes it... as long as he can be useful. Saving the world or saving one girl - its all the same. Give him a mission and he’ll grab it with both hands - it’s being useless that he can’t cope with.
And Angel... To quote the_royal_anna’s essay on Damage (which always leaves me gasping because of her insights):
And this is it: the bleak, endless cycle Angel fights against. He is the victim that dares to be the champion. But is he driven by the blood in his heart or the blood on his hands?
[...]
We don't stop being human when we lose our hearts; nor when we lose our heads. And every last vestige of humanity can be drained from us, but as long as somebody, somewhere cares, we are not dust.
Spike, I think, gets that. But Angel?
And of course - who cares about Angel? Who does he care about? The people he loves (Buffy, Cordy, Connor) are all out of reach. (“Poor little lost Slayer Angel, she’s got no one to love!”)
NUMBER 5: But still the demon did not want my heart.
ANGEL: He didn't want mine, either.
NUMBER 5: Of course not, amigo. Who would want that dried-up walnut of a dead thing?
Anyway, we see another Spike-Angel parallel in ‘Lineage’ where they both try to comfort Wesley by telling of how they killed their parents. It’s so sweet in a very disturning way. And then comes ‘Destiny’...
EVE: The keyword here is "champion." Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids.
Two vampires, both alike in dignity...
ANGEL: Like you're any different.
SPIKE: Well, that's just it. I am. And you know it. You had a soul forced on you-as a curse. Make you suffer for all the horrible things you'd done. But me... I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny.
[...]
SPIKE: Vampire with a soul. Nobody knows what side he's gonna fight on... when the big show comes down. Except we already know what side you're on, don't we? Already made your choice. Traded in your cape and tights for a nice comfy chair at Wolfram & bloody Hart.
Damn I love that fight - so brutal, words cutting so much deeper than the blows. And Spike’s “You’re not gonna to win this time!”
And Angel doesn’t...
ANGEL No. He beat me to the cup.
GUNN You mean the fake cup? The make-believe, fairy-tale cup? So what?!
ANGEL No, you don't... He won the fight, Gunn... for the first time. Doesn't matter if the cup is real or not. In the end, he... Spike was stronger. He wanted it more. [reality bends to desire]
GUNN Angel, it doesn't mean anything.
ANGEL What if it does? What if it means that... I'm not the one?
And here we have Angel’s self doubt in full bloom. Ripe for the treatment he gets in ‘Soul Purpose’. A nightmare, where he’s been *replaced* in every way by Spike: Spike The Champion saving the world, Spike with a curse-free soul getting the girl, Spike being given the Shanshu (because he [Spike] doesn’t want it)... and then the clincher - Angel wakes up to Spike saving him:
SPIKE: No need to thank me. Just helping the helpless.
Spike is him - the hero he used to be! The dream is coming true! Because intertwined with Angel’s dreams we see Spike becoming Angel of S1 - complete with 'link' to the PTB and saving damsels in distress in dirty alleys.
But - Angel realises that he’s being played. And over the course of the next few episodes we see him slowly come to terms with Spike being a younger version of himself. And - I think - also proud that Spike doesn’t take the easy way out. Spike sets himself up as very separate from Angel and W&H, and although their paths cross Spike is clearly his own man.
‘Damage’ of course provides the main push in bringing them together - the two of them bond over their shared fate, and (for the first time since Hellbound) really reach out to each other. But this time they’ve done a lot of work on their issues, and they can take comfort from the fact that there’s someone who understands.
SPIKE: She's...one of us now. She's a monster.
ANGEL: She's an innocent victim.
SPIKE: So were we... once upon a time.
ANGEL: Once upon a time.
(Also Angel without hesitation helps Spike. Compare to ‘Hellbound’ when he was deeply sceptical of Fred’s spending on Spike’s behalf, this time he obviously doesn’t even consider the money angle when reattaching Spike’s hands:
Lilah (to Lindsey): "That's an expensive operation. The shaman alone's a quarter mil? I guess they like you. They really, really like you."
‘Dead End’)
Then in ‘You’re Welcome’ he gets a chance to discuss the situation with Cordy - how far he’s fallen, how he thinks he’s no longer The One.
ANGEL: You're wrong about the Powers. They're not in my corner anymore. It looks like Spike is their new champion.
CORDELIA: Spike? Spike who?
ANGEL: Spike. He's got a soul now. And he saved the world. And he's out there on the streets. You know, helping the...helpless.
CORDELIA: OK, Spike's a hero, and you're C.E.O. of Hell, Incorporated. What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in?
ANGEL: I'm sorry.
But that episode also sees him take back some of what he lost. And the thing is - Spike didn’t take them, Angel let them go. Who Angel is, is not dependent on Spike - only on himself. He needs to find out what he’s fighting for:
CORDELIA: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
ANGEL: I am lost without you.
CORDELIA: You just forgot who you are.
ANGEL: Remind me.
CORDELIA: Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer.
And Angel finds it:
SPIKE: You took me on and lost, remember, old man?
ANGEL: Touch Cordelia again... get ready for our very last rematch.
He didn’t fight for the cup as well as he could have. But Cordy? Oh yes. Angel needs to learn that you can’t fight for abstracts, but for people. And that knowing who you are will give you strength:
ANGEL (to Lindsey): Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.
God I love this show. Because Angel’s words are a wonderful echo of Spike’s in ‘Hellbound’ - finding a purpose, grabbing his idendity:
SPIKE: And guess what I want to do now, you prissy Son-of-a-bitch?”
Different words, same meaning. He might as well have said: “I’m Spike. I beat the bad guys.”
Of course in ‘You’re Welcome’ (or at some point thereafter) Angel also gets the vision from the PTB, finally giving his work at W&H some meaning. And in ‘Why We Fight’ we have the two of them just being together, looking out over the world which is full of sunshine... where they can never go.
‘Smile Time’ gives us Puppet!Angel - and as someone said (I *really* can’t remember who, or I’d link you), the puppet form helps Angel enormously - it makes everything clearer and more immediate and he acts rather than thinks: He finally beats up Spike f.ex., and that is a good thing. He dares to date Nina. He’s finding himself again - and as he does so, he is able to let go of his jealousy.
All of which leads us to ‘A Hole In The World’. Which starts off with the beautiful Cavemen/Astronauts argument, apparently showing how very, very different our two vampires are. And then we get Angel offering Spike a solo gig:
Angel: I'll give you the resources you need to go anywhere: cars, gadgets, expense accounts. You fight the good fight, but... in style. And, if possible, in Outer Mongolia.
Of course there’s a good bit of wanting rid of Spike continually annoying him, but there’s more to it than that. He’s trying to protect him, because he knows far too well what happens to people he cares about - and what’s happening to himself. He’s trying to protect him by sending him away like he did Connor - only he’s giving Spike a choice. Also (and that’s an important point!), he’s naturally assuming that ‘figthing the good fight’ is what Spike does these days. That’s the life he’s offering to fund.
But then we get the business with Fred, and with it Angel’s (apparently) sudden and full acceptance of Spike as fellow champion (except - as I pointed out above - he’s already there):
DROGYN: The power to draw back Illyria lies in there. It requires a champion who has travelled from where it lies to where it belongs.
ANGEL: You got two of those right here.
The way the two of them just snap together in this (and the next) episode is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever seen. And how Spike is just there, pretty much reading Angel’s mind, replying to things he hasn’t even voiced and backing him up at every point is a joy to behold:
SPIKE: Can't even get drunk. Why would anyone ever make a bottle this small? It's inhuman. Thousands would have died if we'd saved her.
ANGEL: Yeah.
WESLEY: I watched it gut her from the inside out. Everything she was is gone. There is nothing left but a shell.
ANGEL: Then we'll figure out a way to fill it back up.
SPIKE: The thing only took over her body. Just a tip of the theological.
ANGEL: It's the soul that matters.
SPIKE: Trust us. We're kind of experts.
SPIKE: Any thoughts on how we're supposed to track Fred or Illyria or whatever the hell that thing was?
ANGEL: We just do it, that's all.
SPIKE: Back in the lab, she was standing right there in front of me, but there was no scent. Nothing. It's like she wasn't even there.
ANGEL: I know.
And then Spike decides to stay:
SPIKE: My first official parley as a very loosely affiliated member of the... what are we? Tell me we're not Scoobies.
‘Underneath’
Of course ‘Underneath’ is full of moments with Spike and Angel behaving in the same way - from shying away from the sunshine in the holding dimension to their identical stances watching Hamilton walk away - he even mentions them in the same breath:
HAMILTON: I'm looking forward to working myself into the mix. Angel, Spike... Welcome to the team.
And then in ‘Time Bomb’ we get Angel saving Spike’s life and taking a stake for him... Darn it, but it’s almost as though he cares... *g*
But best of all is of course ‘The Girl In Question’ which is a rollicking Spike’n’Angel ride, with some of the most fabulous lines ever - unable to stop arguing over *everything* (‘Anything you can do I can do better’/I can do anything better than you!’):
ANGEL: I helped save the world, you know.
SPIKE: Like I haven't.
ANGEL: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
SPIKE: Oh, please.
ANGEL: I closed the hellmouth.
SPIKE: I've done that.
ANGEL: Yeah, you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the mayor and, uh, and Jasmine and-
SPIKE: Do those really count as savin' the world?
ANGEL: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
SPIKE: Buffy ran you through with a sword.
ANGEL: Yeah, but I made her do it. I signaled her with my eyes.
SPIKE: She killed you. I helped her! That one counts as mine.
ANGEL: My point is I'm better than this. OK? We're better than this. What the hell could Buffy see in him?
The point of course being that The Immortal is them. TGiQ isn’t about Buffy at all - it’s about Spike and Angel’s eternal rivalry, always feeling that the other one gets all the breaks:
ANGEL: Oh, he's got her, Spike. He's got Buffy. Why is this always happening to us?
That line could be spoken by either of them about the other... because they’ve both had her in a way the other hasn’t and they are forever resentful of that:
ANGEL: Hey, ours is a forever love.
SPIKE: I had a relationship with her, too.
ANGEL: OK, sleeping together is not a relationship.
SPIKE: It is if you do it enough times.
Angel had *one* night. Spike had *one* ‘I love you’. Also look at ‘I Will Remember You’ and ‘Something Blue’ - both ‘perfect days’ (one following the other!) when our vampires got what they otherwise never did from Buffy: Angel lots and lots of sex, Spike an over-the-top romantic relationship.
And then they try to move on:
SPIKE: So, what? We just have to live with it? Get on with our lives?
ANGEL: 'Fraid so.
SPIKE: Fine. No problem. I was plannin' on doin' that anyway.
ANGEL: Yeah, me, too.
SPIKE: Actually, I'm doin' it right now. As we speak, I'm movin' on.
ANGEL: Movin' on.
SPIKE: Oh, yeah.
ANGEL: Right now.
SPIKE: Movin'.
Whilst standing firmly still. And of course, so is Buffy - dating the biggest Spike&Angel metaphor there’s ever been. Can’t you see boys? She’s still waiting for you! *squishes them both*
And then in ‘Power Play’ comes the big reveal - what has Angel been up to?
ANGEL: I know I've spent years fighting to get somewhere... to accomplish something... and now that I'm close to it... I don't like what I see, what I am.
NINA: You're a hero.
ANGEL (softly): Oh, that word.
NINA: You're my hero.
ANGEL: I may not always be.
Wah! *loves Angel to tiny little pieces* To quote thedeadlyhook’s very excellent essay Dude Where’s My Soul? (although she has a rather more bleak outlook than me):
He [Angel] decides his real unique gifts are for ruthlessness and big-picture artistry - the same things that made Angelus legendary. Essentially, Angel turns himself into the "weapon" he originally thought Wolfram & Hart would be, throws himself and his team's into the fray because he's come to believe that only the ends really matter. He takes his team into a huge battle against forces no one else could challenge because, as he tells Number Five, "we can... because we know how."
Finally - what task does Angel give Spike when they dismatle the arcitects of the apocalypse? He sends him to save a baby boy from a horrible destiny ("And on the eve of his 13th year, he will be prepared for the rites of Gordabach... it's a ritual sacri-”) , returning him to his parents! Making Spike replay a replica of his biggest failure (Connor), changing the outcome. Along with signing away the shanshu he has now helped to turn Spike into himself, but a version without the big defeats and compromises. A him that can be saved, one that still has a shot at redemption. Handing over the reigns, instead of fearing they’ll be taken away.
Not a usurper. A legacy.
(ETA: When speaking of (signing away) the shanshu here, I mean that Angel gives Spike his *destiny*, rather than the (possible) reward. When they fight in 'Destiny', it's not just for a reward, it's for who gets to be The Champion. (Does that make sense? It's going with the Connor-is-the-shanshu thought. Otherwise, it's perfectly straightforward and Spike gets to be a 'real boy' one day.))
I’m trying to think of a way to end this - how to find the words. Angel finally grasping his destiny with both hands, and Spike the first to volunteer... But I can't.
Instead I think I’ll have to quote the_royal_anna’s post on ‘Not Fade Away’, because she’s said it all far better:
Spike making his peace with William. I love that he can be a good man and still be a bad poet. And a magnificent poet. Because only Spike could be both at once, and because this is a poem lived, and breathed, and worn with a grace nobody else could match.
[...]
And then, Angel making his peace with Angelus. How long have we watched, and waited, while he struggled to come to terms with what he was, with who he is? His story matters. Hamilton tells Angel he would have been nothing if he hadn't been made a vampire. And at last we see Angel acknowledge that, acknowledge that redemption is not about escaping from his story, but grabbing his story with both hands. It's your story, Angel. Tell it.
[...]
Angel is so often referred to as dark. I only know this. That light is never more brilliant, more strong, more welcome than light in a pitch-dark alley in the face of an impending army hell-bent on destruction.
And nothing made me long for the Season 6 that might have been more than this, grown-up Spike and Angel in an alleyway having a grown-up conversation, that relationship that has been everything from abusive to affectionate, suddenly instinctive, understated, accepted. And my Spike-and-Angel unit that I loved became Spike and Angel, team. No hyphens.
Although I also love David Fury’s thoughts (From this interview):
FURY: ...the last beat of the episode would be Angel and whoever was left of his crew about to launch into the apocalypse. My thought on that is, that's the perfect way to end the show. The point of Buffy was always girl power and showing that power. The point of Angel was always that the fight never ends. He'll always fight. It's an eternity of fighting. You can't ever win but the fight is worth fighting. That was a perfect 'going out' scene - you know, the Butch Cassidy/Sundance Kid sort of we're going up against impossible odds and probably die? That's the perfect way to end the series, and anybody who says otherwise is dumb.
[...]
Unlike Buffy who ended up with her three friends and were able to end in that way, in Angel's case, everybody that he's ever been close to dies, which is really Angel's story - that he will always outlive the people he cares about. He has gone on and on, he has seen people he loves die, which is another reason that he and Buffy realized they couldn't be together. [...] But the fact that he was side-by-side with Spike was kind of a wonderful turnaround in the mythology of the series.
Interviewer: There's Butch and Sundance right there.
***
And the last words are of course theirs. Our boys:
SPIKE: In terms of a plan?
ANGEL: We fight.
SPIKE: Bit more specific.
ANGEL: Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.
The End
BtVS is about Buffy and The Scoobies. It is about a young girl/woman and her friends... and by extension any lovers. When in S5 family becomes an overriding theme the writers had to add a magically made-up sister, because Buffy’s only blood kin was her mother - her friends fill the role of family most of the time.
AtS is - by the very nature of its hero - different. Angel is a 250 year old vampire, and although the overriding theme is obviously redemption, family and history come a very, very close second. Even in the rather shaky S1 we have Spike and Penn popping up from his past, and several flashbacks to his life with Darla and Dru. Then come S2-4 and where would those be without Darla and Connor (and Dru to a lesser extent)? Angelus was a family man, and so is Angel... the story of those seasons all spring from his past and the consequences of that - how this impacts on his life now. His role as Darla’s childe/companion/partner and Connor’s father are pivotal. And then at the end of S4 he sells them all out to W&H for Connor’s sake...
“You gotta do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father.”
Connor, ‘Origin’
This essay is a look at what roles Spike took in S5 of AtS - looked at only from Angel’s side (Spike-centric, but not about Spike if you get my point). I know I’ve touched upon this before, but this is far more indepth. It’s in two parts, and as ususal I’ve got a million quotes:
Spike as Connor
In ‘Home’ a whole chapter of Angel’s life comes to its close. He lets go of Connor and his responsibility for him. And for around three weeks he is free of any family worries... until Spike appears! And Spike... Spike has Daddy issues to rival Connor's:
“It’s you! You’re the reason my life sucks!”
Connor (I forget which episode - any in S4 would probably do)
“You! This is all your fault!”
Spike, ‘Just Rewards’
To briefly quote romanyg’s most excellent Spangel Manifesto:
‘Spike returns as the reluctant prodigal. He doesn't get the welcome, the coffee cake, the fatted calf. The fatted calf will always belong to Connor. Of course, none of them now have a clue as to Connor. Spike just knows that the calf is withheld.’
And Spike is rather resentful of that to say the least...
Because the thing is - Spike is the anti-Connor. Angel’s ‘crime’ as concerns Connor was losing him. He was stolen and used and abused throughout his 18 years - by Holtz, by Evil!Cordy, by Jasmine. He blames Angel, and Angel blames Angel:
Angel: “I mean, you were stuck in a - hell dimension. - Connor - I'm so sorry. I tried to get you back. I did. I tried to come after you. I would have done anything. I just... I just... I couldn't find a way in."
Connor: "I found a way out."
‘Tomorrow’
Connor: “You tried to love me. At least I think you did.”
Angel: “I still do.”
Connor: “But not enough to hang on, dad. You let him take me. You let him get me. You let him get me.”
‘Home’
But Spike... Spike was to a great extent Angelus’s creation. For 18 years (and OMG the parallels! This is fabulous!) he was under Angelus’s tutelage:
Spike: “You were my sire, man. My Yoda!”
‘School Hard’
And Angel acknowledges this:
Angel: “I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there.”
Spike: “I did. I'm surrounded by idiots.”
He also knows what kind of monster he created:
Giles: “Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced.”
Angel: “He's worse. Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.”
But... Angel does not feel responsible for Spike in the same way, although he was the one doing the damage. Spike isn’t a lost little boy. And yet Angel still has to deal with the resentment:
Spike: Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me.
Angel: Tell it to your therapist.
Spike: 'Cause every time you look at me... you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.
‘Destiny’
So we see Spike blaming Angel for who he is - just like Connor. Through neglect or teaching, they both think that Angel created them. But - then they go different paths:
Connor: I can't feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too.
‘Home’
Angel: I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door... and let the real you out.
Spike: You never knew the real me! Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!
‘Destiny’
And here we touch on the other thing - Spike never needed Angel to ‘fix’ him or rescue him. Spike did that all by himself thank-you-very-much. Only... here’s the thing. To quote kita0610’s essay ‘A Century of Slash: Angel & Spike’:
From Drusilla’s affections to Buffy’s, from fighting on the side of good to gaining a soul, Spike, since Day One, has followed in “Daddy’s” footsteps. And has resented the hell out of it.
And Angel... Angel resents him for it too! Because as we saw in ‘Awakening’ Angel dreamt of Connor following in his footsteps... of wanting to be just like Daddy:
Connor: Is this what it feels like, being a champion?
Angel (smiles): Pretty much.
‘Awakening’
It was Connor who was supposed to choose to fight alongside him... not Spike.
Spike: So here we are then. Two vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.
Angel: Is that what you think you are? A hero?
Spike: Saved the world, didn’t I?
Angel: Once. Talk to me after you’ve done it a couple more times.
‘Destiny’
It’s not easy for Spike to get Daddy’s approval... Apparently even dying to save the world isn’t enough.
There is of course also the issue of women... because in both cases Angel had ‘his’ woman taken over by his offspring. He never had a relationship with Cordy the way he hoped - it was Connor who looked after Cordy and slept with her:
ANGELUS: Is that my shirt?
CONNOR: Not anymore.
ANGELUS: Looks good on you, son.
CONNOR: (smirks) So did Cordy.
‘Soulless’
Connor taking Angel’s clothes (his identity) and his woman. And it’s repeated with Spike, but moreso - where Cordy was being used by Jasmine and probably wouldn’t have ended up with Connor if she’d had free will, Buffy fell for - and slept with, repeatedly - Spike! And she gave him Angel’s amulet (should be worn by a Champion)... his identity!
SPIKE: You can't keep her from me.
ANGEL: She's not mine to keep... or yours.
SPIKE: Says you. You got no idea what we had.
ANGEL: You never had her.
SPIKE: More than you, you poncy-
‘Just Rewards’
But as I said - Spike isn’t a confused child. Angel is forever having to handle Connor with kid gloves, desperately trying to save him:
CONNOR: Cordy... you swore you loved me. Where are you now?
ANGEL: Connor... you have to believe that there are people who love you.
‘Home’
Spike however gets the no-holds-barred treatment:
ANGEL: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you - Because you weren't me.
SPIKE: Guess that means she was thinking about you... all those times I was puttin' it to her.
‘Destiny’
And oh it’s brutal... but then it’s probably also very healthy. Because after getting all their major grievances out in the open, the two of them slowly come to accept each other - the last two remaining members of their family (not counting Dru).
Except of course for - Lawson! Oh! [has big epiphany] I am a brain-dead moron! ‘Why We Fight’ is all about Connor (Angel even calls Lawson ‘son’)! And the way he captures and threatens to kill Angel’s crew is such a blatant call-back to ‘Home’ that I cannot believe that I never saw it before:
Connor: You might not want to move. Everyone's rigged. Can't save 'em all, dad. Don't know who's gonna be first. Could be any one of 'em. Could be me. Could be her.
‘Home’
And would you believe it, but Lawson does *exactly* the same. One of the first things Angel says when he enters the sub is: "I need you to trust that I'm gonna get us all through this... safe and sound." Except of course they don't. So when Lawson says this:
Lawson: I do need you to trust that I'm gonna get us all through this, safe and sound. Easy now. That's double-ought wire wrapped around your crew's necks. Take a fella's head clean off with just a little tug. Best not go roughhousing. Something might get knocked over.
He is effectively echoing Connor's "Can't save them all dad!" Lawson is as suicidal as Connor and counting on Angel to keep his promise:
LAWSON: You sure you want to do that, chief?
ANGEL: Fairly certain I said I'd kill you if I ever saw you again.
And again we see the family ties - Angel let Lawson go the first time, just like he let Spike go (back then, and many times after that). The only reason he ended up killing Darla was because she threatened Buffy’s life. Family ties are deeply ingrained into Angel.
But - back to Connor and Lawson. We have a suicidal child(e), blaming Angel for destroying his life - for making him feel nothing. Dear Lord the parallels:
CONNOR: I didn't feel anything! I can't feel anything. I guess I really am your son... 'cause I'm dead, too.
‘Home’
LAWSON: I did all the terrible things a monster does-murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream-and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way? [...] You gave me just enough, didn't you? Enough of your soul to keep me trapped between who I was and who I should be. I'm nothin'... because of you.
‘Why We Fight’
Connor feels that he cannot be human because of the part of him that’s a monster, thanks to Angel. Lawson has the opposite problem - just that tiny bit of soul, preventing him from being a monster like he should. And - knowing what they need - Angel kills them both:
CONNOR: There's only one thing that ever changes anything... and that's death. Everything else is just a lie. You can't be saved by a lie. You can't be saved at all.
ANGEL: I really do love you, Connor.
CONNOR: So what are you gonna do about it?
ANGEL: Prove it.
[cuts his throat, triggering the mindwipe]
ANGEL: You really want it to end like this?
LAWSON: Sounds like a plan. (searching Angel's eyes) Come on, chief. Give me a mission.
[Angel dusts him]
And then - Spike comes to see Angel. Spike, the one son who found the balance between monster and man without Angel’s help. The one that Angel finds himself almost leaning on, because - bizarrely - he can talk to him:
SPIKE: Know revenge is best served cold and all, but his must've been frozen solid.
ANGEL: I don't think that's what he was after.
SPIKE: No? Then what was he looking for?
ANGEL: A reason.
And will Spike find a reason? Would Connor if he had the opportunity again? Well - over the next few episodes both Connor and Spike make an informed choice to stay or go:
Connor: “This whole fighting thing, I'm not... I'm not really sure it's for me.”
‘Origin’
Spike: “It's what I want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's comin', Angel. We both feel it... and it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illyria. Things are gonna get ugly. That's where I live.”
‘Shells’
In the end - when Angel takes down The Black Thorn - Connor does come to help him, fighting alongside his father just like Angel always hoped. And then - he sends him away.
Angel: You go home.
Connor: Huh?
Angel: This is my fight.
Connor: They'll destroy you.
Angel: As long as you're OK, they can't. Go.
‘Not Fade Away’
Because he finally can let go of Connor completely, let him have his own life. He doesn’t need or want his son to live out his own dreams anymore. (And I like to think that in a very real sense Connor is the shashu come true.)
And also Angel has Spike to fight beside him.
Spike: In terms of a plan?
Angel: We fight.
‘Not Fade Away’
Spike made Angel’s fight his own, and Angel let him take Connor’s place.
But that’s only one side of it.
Spike as Angel
To quote romanyg again:
And Spike finally does what Angel never did: he willingly dies for the world. He becomes the champion that Angel struggles to be. [...] And Angel does acknowledge jealousy, fear, that he will be surpassed, that he isn't the saviour, but merely the heralder, the one who comes before.
We see Angel’s jealousy as soon as Spike appears:
SPIKE: Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by-
FRED: E-excuse me?
WESLEY: Did-did you just say- Spike has a soul? You never said.
ANGEL: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
GUNN: Seems to be a lot of that.
SPIKE: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club-another vampire with a soul in the world.
Much as Angel hates what he is, he likes his unique status. He is The Vampire With A Soul - with no one to compare him to, it’s not possible to judge him... But as soon as Spike shows up, suddenly there is a scale. And on that scale - well who’s more heroic? The vampire who was cursed with a soul, or the one who fought for it? The one who sacrificed his life for the world, or the one who took over an evil law firm?
No wonder Angel is so defensive.
It’s a classic case of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’:
SPIKE: You're my problem. You got it too good. You're king of a 30-floor castle, with all the cars, comfort, power, and glory you could ever want, and here I save the world, throw myself onto the proverbial hand grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's not fair.
ANGEL: Fair?! You asked for a soul. I didn't! It almost killed me. I spent a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent 3 weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine! What's fair about that?!
‘Just Rewards’
So we have resentment reaching up to the sky... but also intimate knowledge of each other, and the fact that they’re only two who know what it’s like to be a souled vampire. Champions no less...
FRED: He just saved the world. Vampire with a soul fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion.
‘Hell Bound’
And so comes a moment of bridging the gap:
ANGEL: You're starting to feel it, aren't you? How close you are now... to hell?
SPIKE: What if I am? Not like it's such a big, bleeding deal, is it? If a ponce like you could break out-
ANGEL: I never escaped from hell. All I got was a short reprieve. Not even sure how I managed that.
SPIKE: Oh, put your martyr away, Mahatma. Fred told me all about your great, shining prophecy. Pile up all your good deeds and get the big brass ring handed to you like everything else.
ANGEL: Except for one small catch. The prophecy's a bunch of bull. They all are. Nothing's written in stone or fated to happen, Spike. You save the world, you end up running an evil law firm.
SPIKE: Or playin' Casper with one foot in the fryer.
ANGEL: You think any of it matters? The things we did? The lives we destroyed. That's all that's ever gonna count. So, yeah, surprise. You're going to hell. We both are.
‘Hell Bound’
It’s the most wonderful instance of ‘Finally there’s someone just like me - I just wish it wasn’t you!’
Of course from this scene we also see how low Angel’s feeling. He is essentially formulating the same thought he had in ‘Epiphany’ (“If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do”), but coming from the opposite side. Seeing only despair. Helping not because he wants to end people’s suffering, but because what else is he good for? “Some people can’t be saved,” he says and although he’s saying this about Spike, but obviously meaning himself, there’s also a whole new level of cynicism to him - people can’t change. It’s the same attitude that made him kill Hauser in ‘Conviction’. Compare and contrast with S1 Angel:
Wesley: "Well, I have faith in Angel. If anyone can convince him to testify..."
Cordy: "Wesley, you don't change a guy like that. In fact - generally speaking - you don't change a guy. What you see is what you get. Scratch the surface and what do you find? More surface."
[...]
Wesley to Angel: "That young man is very lucky he ran into you."
Angel: "He just needed a little guidance - a push in the right direction."
‘Five By Five’
The motto for ‘Angel Investigations’ was fluid: Sometimes it was ‘We help the helpless’, sometimes ‘We help the hopeless’. Angel isn’t helping the hopeless anymore.
The thing is, he has forgotten Doyle’s very first lesson:
Doyle: “You see this vampire, he thinks he’s helping. Fighting the demons. Staying away from the human’s so as not to be tempted. Doing penance in his little - cell. But he’s cut off. From every thing. From the people he’s trying to help. [...] It’s not all about fighting and gadgets and stuff. It’s about reaching out to people, showing them that there’s love and hope still left in the world. It’s about letting them into your heart. It’s not about saving lives; it’s about saving souls. Hey, possibly your own in the process."
‘City Of...’
It’s a lesson Spike never needed - reaching out to people comes naturally to him. Not to groups at large, but individuals. He chooses to save Fred in ‘Hellbound’ without a second thought, and does not for a moment regret his choice. He saved the girl - his friend - and that’s what matters. It’s doing something ‘faster and more clever’ (‘Every night I save you’). Doesn’t matter if he makes it... as long as he can be useful. Saving the world or saving one girl - its all the same. Give him a mission and he’ll grab it with both hands - it’s being useless that he can’t cope with.
And Angel... To quote the_royal_anna’s essay on Damage (which always leaves me gasping because of her insights):
And this is it: the bleak, endless cycle Angel fights against. He is the victim that dares to be the champion. But is he driven by the blood in his heart or the blood on his hands?
[...]
We don't stop being human when we lose our hearts; nor when we lose our heads. And every last vestige of humanity can be drained from us, but as long as somebody, somewhere cares, we are not dust.
Spike, I think, gets that. But Angel?
And of course - who cares about Angel? Who does he care about? The people he loves (Buffy, Cordy, Connor) are all out of reach. (“Poor little lost Slayer Angel, she’s got no one to love!”)
NUMBER 5: But still the demon did not want my heart.
ANGEL: He didn't want mine, either.
NUMBER 5: Of course not, amigo. Who would want that dried-up walnut of a dead thing?
Anyway, we see another Spike-Angel parallel in ‘Lineage’ where they both try to comfort Wesley by telling of how they killed their parents. It’s so sweet in a very disturning way. And then comes ‘Destiny’...
EVE: The keyword here is "champion." Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids.
Two vampires, both alike in dignity...
ANGEL: Like you're any different.
SPIKE: Well, that's just it. I am. And you know it. You had a soul forced on you-as a curse. Make you suffer for all the horrible things you'd done. But me... I fought for my soul. Went through the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over, but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny.
[...]
SPIKE: Vampire with a soul. Nobody knows what side he's gonna fight on... when the big show comes down. Except we already know what side you're on, don't we? Already made your choice. Traded in your cape and tights for a nice comfy chair at Wolfram & bloody Hart.
Damn I love that fight - so brutal, words cutting so much deeper than the blows. And Spike’s “You’re not gonna to win this time!”
And Angel doesn’t...
ANGEL No. He beat me to the cup.
GUNN You mean the fake cup? The make-believe, fairy-tale cup? So what?!
ANGEL No, you don't... He won the fight, Gunn... for the first time. Doesn't matter if the cup is real or not. In the end, he... Spike was stronger. He wanted it more. [reality bends to desire]
GUNN Angel, it doesn't mean anything.
ANGEL What if it does? What if it means that... I'm not the one?
And here we have Angel’s self doubt in full bloom. Ripe for the treatment he gets in ‘Soul Purpose’. A nightmare, where he’s been *replaced* in every way by Spike: Spike The Champion saving the world, Spike with a curse-free soul getting the girl, Spike being given the Shanshu (because he [Spike] doesn’t want it)... and then the clincher - Angel wakes up to Spike saving him:
SPIKE: No need to thank me. Just helping the helpless.
Spike is him - the hero he used to be! The dream is coming true! Because intertwined with Angel’s dreams we see Spike becoming Angel of S1 - complete with 'link' to the PTB and saving damsels in distress in dirty alleys.
But - Angel realises that he’s being played. And over the course of the next few episodes we see him slowly come to terms with Spike being a younger version of himself. And - I think - also proud that Spike doesn’t take the easy way out. Spike sets himself up as very separate from Angel and W&H, and although their paths cross Spike is clearly his own man.
‘Damage’ of course provides the main push in bringing them together - the two of them bond over their shared fate, and (for the first time since Hellbound) really reach out to each other. But this time they’ve done a lot of work on their issues, and they can take comfort from the fact that there’s someone who understands.
SPIKE: She's...one of us now. She's a monster.
ANGEL: She's an innocent victim.
SPIKE: So were we... once upon a time.
ANGEL: Once upon a time.
(Also Angel without hesitation helps Spike. Compare to ‘Hellbound’ when he was deeply sceptical of Fred’s spending on Spike’s behalf, this time he obviously doesn’t even consider the money angle when reattaching Spike’s hands:
Lilah (to Lindsey): "That's an expensive operation. The shaman alone's a quarter mil? I guess they like you. They really, really like you."
‘Dead End’)
Then in ‘You’re Welcome’ he gets a chance to discuss the situation with Cordy - how far he’s fallen, how he thinks he’s no longer The One.
ANGEL: You're wrong about the Powers. They're not in my corner anymore. It looks like Spike is their new champion.
CORDELIA: Spike? Spike who?
ANGEL: Spike. He's got a soul now. And he saved the world. And he's out there on the streets. You know, helping the...helpless.
CORDELIA: OK, Spike's a hero, and you're C.E.O. of Hell, Incorporated. What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in?
ANGEL: I'm sorry.
But that episode also sees him take back some of what he lost. And the thing is - Spike didn’t take them, Angel let them go. Who Angel is, is not dependent on Spike - only on himself. He needs to find out what he’s fighting for:
CORDELIA: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
ANGEL: I am lost without you.
CORDELIA: You just forgot who you are.
ANGEL: Remind me.
CORDELIA: Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer.
And Angel finds it:
SPIKE: You took me on and lost, remember, old man?
ANGEL: Touch Cordelia again... get ready for our very last rematch.
He didn’t fight for the cup as well as he could have. But Cordy? Oh yes. Angel needs to learn that you can’t fight for abstracts, but for people. And that knowing who you are will give you strength:
ANGEL (to Lindsey): Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. 'Cause you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.
God I love this show. Because Angel’s words are a wonderful echo of Spike’s in ‘Hellbound’ - finding a purpose, grabbing his idendity:
SPIKE: And guess what I want to do now, you prissy Son-of-a-bitch?”
Different words, same meaning. He might as well have said: “I’m Spike. I beat the bad guys.”
Of course in ‘You’re Welcome’ (or at some point thereafter) Angel also gets the vision from the PTB, finally giving his work at W&H some meaning. And in ‘Why We Fight’ we have the two of them just being together, looking out over the world which is full of sunshine... where they can never go.
‘Smile Time’ gives us Puppet!Angel - and as someone said (I *really* can’t remember who, or I’d link you), the puppet form helps Angel enormously - it makes everything clearer and more immediate and he acts rather than thinks: He finally beats up Spike f.ex., and that is a good thing. He dares to date Nina. He’s finding himself again - and as he does so, he is able to let go of his jealousy.
All of which leads us to ‘A Hole In The World’. Which starts off with the beautiful Cavemen/Astronauts argument, apparently showing how very, very different our two vampires are. And then we get Angel offering Spike a solo gig:
Angel: I'll give you the resources you need to go anywhere: cars, gadgets, expense accounts. You fight the good fight, but... in style. And, if possible, in Outer Mongolia.
Of course there’s a good bit of wanting rid of Spike continually annoying him, but there’s more to it than that. He’s trying to protect him, because he knows far too well what happens to people he cares about - and what’s happening to himself. He’s trying to protect him by sending him away like he did Connor - only he’s giving Spike a choice. Also (and that’s an important point!), he’s naturally assuming that ‘figthing the good fight’ is what Spike does these days. That’s the life he’s offering to fund.
But then we get the business with Fred, and with it Angel’s (apparently) sudden and full acceptance of Spike as fellow champion (except - as I pointed out above - he’s already there):
DROGYN: The power to draw back Illyria lies in there. It requires a champion who has travelled from where it lies to where it belongs.
ANGEL: You got two of those right here.
The way the two of them just snap together in this (and the next) episode is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever seen. And how Spike is just there, pretty much reading Angel’s mind, replying to things he hasn’t even voiced and backing him up at every point is a joy to behold:
SPIKE: Can't even get drunk. Why would anyone ever make a bottle this small? It's inhuman. Thousands would have died if we'd saved her.
ANGEL: Yeah.
WESLEY: I watched it gut her from the inside out. Everything she was is gone. There is nothing left but a shell.
ANGEL: Then we'll figure out a way to fill it back up.
SPIKE: The thing only took over her body. Just a tip of the theological.
ANGEL: It's the soul that matters.
SPIKE: Trust us. We're kind of experts.
SPIKE: Any thoughts on how we're supposed to track Fred or Illyria or whatever the hell that thing was?
ANGEL: We just do it, that's all.
SPIKE: Back in the lab, she was standing right there in front of me, but there was no scent. Nothing. It's like she wasn't even there.
ANGEL: I know.
And then Spike decides to stay:
SPIKE: My first official parley as a very loosely affiliated member of the... what are we? Tell me we're not Scoobies.
‘Underneath’
Of course ‘Underneath’ is full of moments with Spike and Angel behaving in the same way - from shying away from the sunshine in the holding dimension to their identical stances watching Hamilton walk away - he even mentions them in the same breath:
HAMILTON: I'm looking forward to working myself into the mix. Angel, Spike... Welcome to the team.
And then in ‘Time Bomb’ we get Angel saving Spike’s life and taking a stake for him... Darn it, but it’s almost as though he cares... *g*
But best of all is of course ‘The Girl In Question’ which is a rollicking Spike’n’Angel ride, with some of the most fabulous lines ever - unable to stop arguing over *everything* (‘Anything you can do I can do better’/I can do anything better than you!’):
ANGEL: I helped save the world, you know.
SPIKE: Like I haven't.
ANGEL: Yeah, but I've done it a lot more.
SPIKE: Oh, please.
ANGEL: I closed the hellmouth.
SPIKE: I've done that.
ANGEL: Yeah, you wore a necklace. You know, I helped kill the mayor and, uh, and Jasmine and-
SPIKE: Do those really count as savin' the world?
ANGEL: I stopped Acathla. That saved the world.
SPIKE: Buffy ran you through with a sword.
ANGEL: Yeah, but I made her do it. I signaled her with my eyes.
SPIKE: She killed you. I helped her! That one counts as mine.
ANGEL: My point is I'm better than this. OK? We're better than this. What the hell could Buffy see in him?
The point of course being that The Immortal is them. TGiQ isn’t about Buffy at all - it’s about Spike and Angel’s eternal rivalry, always feeling that the other one gets all the breaks:
ANGEL: Oh, he's got her, Spike. He's got Buffy. Why is this always happening to us?
That line could be spoken by either of them about the other... because they’ve both had her in a way the other hasn’t and they are forever resentful of that:
ANGEL: Hey, ours is a forever love.
SPIKE: I had a relationship with her, too.
ANGEL: OK, sleeping together is not a relationship.
SPIKE: It is if you do it enough times.
Angel had *one* night. Spike had *one* ‘I love you’. Also look at ‘I Will Remember You’ and ‘Something Blue’ - both ‘perfect days’ (one following the other!) when our vampires got what they otherwise never did from Buffy: Angel lots and lots of sex, Spike an over-the-top romantic relationship.
And then they try to move on:
SPIKE: So, what? We just have to live with it? Get on with our lives?
ANGEL: 'Fraid so.
SPIKE: Fine. No problem. I was plannin' on doin' that anyway.
ANGEL: Yeah, me, too.
SPIKE: Actually, I'm doin' it right now. As we speak, I'm movin' on.
ANGEL: Movin' on.
SPIKE: Oh, yeah.
ANGEL: Right now.
SPIKE: Movin'.
Whilst standing firmly still. And of course, so is Buffy - dating the biggest Spike&Angel metaphor there’s ever been. Can’t you see boys? She’s still waiting for you! *squishes them both*
And then in ‘Power Play’ comes the big reveal - what has Angel been up to?
ANGEL: I know I've spent years fighting to get somewhere... to accomplish something... and now that I'm close to it... I don't like what I see, what I am.
NINA: You're a hero.
ANGEL (softly): Oh, that word.
NINA: You're my hero.
ANGEL: I may not always be.
Wah! *loves Angel to tiny little pieces* To quote thedeadlyhook’s very excellent essay Dude Where’s My Soul? (although she has a rather more bleak outlook than me):
He [Angel] decides his real unique gifts are for ruthlessness and big-picture artistry - the same things that made Angelus legendary. Essentially, Angel turns himself into the "weapon" he originally thought Wolfram & Hart would be, throws himself and his team's into the fray because he's come to believe that only the ends really matter. He takes his team into a huge battle against forces no one else could challenge because, as he tells Number Five, "we can... because we know how."
Finally - what task does Angel give Spike when they dismatle the arcitects of the apocalypse? He sends him to save a baby boy from a horrible destiny ("And on the eve of his 13th year, he will be prepared for the rites of Gordabach... it's a ritual sacri-”) , returning him to his parents! Making Spike replay a replica of his biggest failure (Connor), changing the outcome. Along with signing away the shanshu he has now helped to turn Spike into himself, but a version without the big defeats and compromises. A him that can be saved, one that still has a shot at redemption. Handing over the reigns, instead of fearing they’ll be taken away.
Not a usurper. A legacy.
(ETA: When speaking of (signing away) the shanshu here, I mean that Angel gives Spike his *destiny*, rather than the (possible) reward. When they fight in 'Destiny', it's not just for a reward, it's for who gets to be The Champion. (Does that make sense? It's going with the Connor-is-the-shanshu thought. Otherwise, it's perfectly straightforward and Spike gets to be a 'real boy' one day.))
I’m trying to think of a way to end this - how to find the words. Angel finally grasping his destiny with both hands, and Spike the first to volunteer... But I can't.
Instead I think I’ll have to quote the_royal_anna’s post on ‘Not Fade Away’, because she’s said it all far better:
Spike making his peace with William. I love that he can be a good man and still be a bad poet. And a magnificent poet. Because only Spike could be both at once, and because this is a poem lived, and breathed, and worn with a grace nobody else could match.
[...]
And then, Angel making his peace with Angelus. How long have we watched, and waited, while he struggled to come to terms with what he was, with who he is? His story matters. Hamilton tells Angel he would have been nothing if he hadn't been made a vampire. And at last we see Angel acknowledge that, acknowledge that redemption is not about escaping from his story, but grabbing his story with both hands. It's your story, Angel. Tell it.
[...]
Angel is so often referred to as dark. I only know this. That light is never more brilliant, more strong, more welcome than light in a pitch-dark alley in the face of an impending army hell-bent on destruction.
And nothing made me long for the Season 6 that might have been more than this, grown-up Spike and Angel in an alleyway having a grown-up conversation, that relationship that has been everything from abusive to affectionate, suddenly instinctive, understated, accepted. And my Spike-and-Angel unit that I loved became Spike and Angel, team. No hyphens.
Although I also love David Fury’s thoughts (From this interview):
FURY: ...the last beat of the episode would be Angel and whoever was left of his crew about to launch into the apocalypse. My thought on that is, that's the perfect way to end the show. The point of Buffy was always girl power and showing that power. The point of Angel was always that the fight never ends. He'll always fight. It's an eternity of fighting. You can't ever win but the fight is worth fighting. That was a perfect 'going out' scene - you know, the Butch Cassidy/Sundance Kid sort of we're going up against impossible odds and probably die? That's the perfect way to end the series, and anybody who says otherwise is dumb.
[...]
Unlike Buffy who ended up with her three friends and were able to end in that way, in Angel's case, everybody that he's ever been close to dies, which is really Angel's story - that he will always outlive the people he cares about. He has gone on and on, he has seen people he loves die, which is another reason that he and Buffy realized they couldn't be together. [...] But the fact that he was side-by-side with Spike was kind of a wonderful turnaround in the mythology of the series.
Interviewer: There's Butch and Sundance right there.
***
And the last words are of course theirs. Our boys:
SPIKE: In terms of a plan?
ANGEL: We fight.
SPIKE: Bit more specific.
ANGEL: Well, personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work.
The End