Comments | elisa_trapt: The First Time, Chapter 5

elisa_trapt

The First Time, Chapter 5

Aug 18, 2010 21:06

Title: The First Time
Rating: R
A/N: Okay, we're going to take a break from the angst for a second. Well, maybe not entirely. But I hope this chapter at least brings a smile to your face. It made me smile to write it, bittersweet though it was.

( The First Time, Chapter 5 )

pepsi, fanfiction, the first time, los hombres de paco, pepsi fanfiction, fanfic

Comments 21

bsofthewest August 19 2010, 03:12:06 UTC

Thank you for this gift of love. I am ready for revenge!

elisa_trapt August 20 2010, 00:38:15 UTC

And you shall get it! I don't think El Gordo ever stood a chance. And I don't think for one second Pepa planned to get him to Spain. You don't cause Pepa pain like this, and live to tell the tale for very long. I guess he should have thought about that, huh?

bsofthewest August 20 2010, 03:42:14 UTC

PS: That is one really beautiful horse you have as your icon!

elisa_trapt August 21 2010, 14:33:24 UTC

Why, thank you! That's my kid! (And that adorable face is what saves him time and time again after he's been naughty!)

Thread 8

swiftlyreloaded August 19 2010, 03:42:20 UTC

you are doing such a FABULOUS job w/ this fic. Thank you once again for it.

elisa_trapt August 20 2010, 00:41:05 UTC

Thank you so much! It's really nice to have some peeps here to take the journey with. :)

leigh57 August 19 2010, 03:45:41 UTC

I kind of love how you use the dream to snap out of the angst for a short time, AND to fuel the plot. It's genius! The idea of Pepa using the dreams as fuel for her anger instead of trying to run away from them is entirely brilliant. This fic makes me so sad in a ton of ways, but you're doing a great job with balance and I'm enjoying it so much:)

pepsifangirl August 19 2010, 10:27:06 UTC

I kind of love how you use the dream to snap out of the angst for a short time, AND to fuel the plot. It's genius!

I was going to say the exact same thing. The balance between joy and angst is the best part of this fic.

I have to say, I am a really hard sell for the canon plot/story, because I thought it was very poorly executed in general -- too emotionally jarring, in bad taste, a badly-timed one-episode shocker, and with no satisfying follow-up or means of attaining closure on the story in any way (I also felt it was a thematic betrayal for LHdP to do it at all). I simply didn't buy the canon story because of the way they sold it. Part of why I hang out at the fandom is because I have this sense of unfinished business with these characters and their story.

But the way this fic is being crafted, with great timing, and reasonable interludes between angst/violence, I'm actually buying it. elisa_trapt, you're doing a great job handling such sensitive material ( ... )

elisa_trapt August 20 2010, 01:06:45 UTC

That is a really lovely compliment, thank you.

And I totally understand what you're saying. I mean, killing Silvia was quite bad enough. But then we were expected to buy the following - months have gone by, Pepa's been wandering in Italy doing God know what (and God knows who, for that matter), she kills El Gordo, returns, has a tearful reunion w/ the (remaining) Hombres, gets herself into a lot of shit w/ the CNI, another year passes, and oh hey, she's got a new girlfriend and is all smiley.

Which is great, but how in the hell did she get there?!?!

In terms of Pepa, they missed the boat by a mile in terms of her process of coming back to being whole again. And it drove me absolutely crazy too. They were so focused on the cannibal/Satan, that they neglected the characters we actually were invested in. A shame, really.

Though I certainly don't want to make you run away from the fandom, I'm happy I'm getting toward what I set out to do, to bring some closure to all the open questions.

Thank you again for the comments. :)

pepsifangirl August 23 2010, 07:53:18 UTC

They were so focused on the cannibal/Satan, that they neglected the characters we actually were invested in. A shame, really.

Well, what I really never got was why they forgot, somewhere down the line (and most glaringly from the S8 finale onwards), that their show was almost entirely character-driven rather than script/storyline/plot-driven. Let's face it -- LHdP's writing and storylines were never too great, and often quite contrived. I watched the show for the characters and their relationships, and for the good acting and the addictive pathos -- I never expected great storylines.

When you're a character-driven show, it makes zero sense to kill off major characters and then suddenly try to turn your show into something script-driven (which it never was). It would be like Friends killing off one of the six major characters. The show could never survive that. Needless to say, the Satanic plot in S9 was overall pretty lame, despite their apparent attention to developing it. There are lots of reasons for that, but I get the sense ( ... )

Thread 7

supercontenta August 23 2010, 05:13:20 UTC

It's high time I commented on the ingenious way you wove Silvia back into the story. Such a nice reprieve from the angst. This chapter ends bittersweet, for sure, but it's soooo enjoyable to read. I salute you, elisa!

By the way, my guards will let you go the moment you return my crown. You have ten seconds or you know what this queen of hearts will do...

This allusion to Alice in Wonderland is rather appropriate, wouldn't you say?

elisa_trapt August 23 2010, 21:04:45 UTC

LOL, very appropriate! Very smooth.

Return it, you say? Return it? Hmmmm, well, I DO like my head, of course. I'm rather ATTACHED to it (ba dum bum). On the other hand, this crown, it's so shiny, and it fits so well, and is surprisingly light to wear. And, well, it LOOKS pretty damn good....I might have to take my chances.

I'm sure we can find you something else to place on your head. Let me go try to find The Mad Hatter....

But before I do that, muchas gracias for the salute. I had to get a little of Silvia in there, no? Otherwise, I might have killed everyone by torturing Pepa endlessly. At least she gets to see her pelirroja every now and then, if only in her dreams. :(

Now, about The Hatter...I'll bet he's at the tea party again. Hang on, be right back....How about a nice top hat?

junebuggy01 August 24 2010, 22:15:10 UTC

Oh gosh, I think I'm becoming repetitive, but that was achingly beautiful. I think... I think I love you, er, I mean, love your writing, of course. Not you, that would just be weird cuz we don't know each other and it's not like I'm gonna throw myself at you because you write so amazingly and can bring utter sweetness to such a sorrowful story... Unless of course you love me too? *Bats eyes hopefully* xD

Onward to the next part!

elisa_trapt August 25 2010, 02:27:10 UTC

My goodness! From pitchforks to lovin'! So all I have to do is throw a little pelirroja into the mix, and suddenly....*note to self: more of the redhead to elict declarations of love*

Thank you, juney, you're very sweet. I really loved writing this particular chapter. It's my "If only...." and I would dearly have loved it to be reality. But alas.... :(

And listen, there are several more chapters in which to get to know each other. Keeping batting those eyes, and who knows....