Sundered Faith, Part Four (4/?)

[elfhawk]

Not certain if this will be the last update on this for the rest of the month or not. I've got more, but there's two major sections that are still very much in the 'needs more everything' part of writing. With Christmas coming up, I don't know if I'll get them finished. But I'll try my best.
Updated 12/10/11

Comments

[carmenwoods]

I skipped to the bit I hadn't seen yet because I'm greedy. I'll go back and do a thorough combing of the earlier part with the full re-read.

---
The thief was murdered a short time ago, and the city guard who found the body recognized the item as something of the Jadens.
(Jadens', yar.)

Human fecundity never cease to amaze me.

“Says someone who's never had one thrown at him,” Carmen pointed out.
(Should be "at her", since Petra's the one saying.)

it could have tried to give me thoughts of slitting my own once it realized there was no one else there were no other necks to slit.”

Teilomere looked doubtful. “Why would you even have practice suppressing-”
(Is he a different sort of fey than Odette, who can see Petra's ley energies all warpified?
And this idea of his makes me very very uneasy for Petra.)

“No, I think someone else has already done it. It would only take one weak point to let her in, and then she would have all the time in the world to add additional wards.”
(Jumbled pronouns here. Unless it's trying to say something I

[elfhawk]

Ech, Teilomere was saying something when Carmen said that line. See, this is why the cast should be one sex. No pronoun mix ups, just confusion about who's speaking

[carmenwoods]

Yeah, I noticed Athena's aside there too and cackled. Didn't post because I hadn't racked up a list of typos yet and don't want to look like a total fangirl. Very small squee!

And I wondered if the pronoun thing was the case - the meaning can make sense, it just wasn't what I was expecting it to mean so I went "bwee?"

Oh, I hope you don't mind I printed out the whole thing at work to read through. You notice different things, I've found, when you read something long on paper as opposed to on a computer. Maybe it's because scrolling moves your focus all the time.

[elfhawk]

You posted a gif of Sakura rolling around in joy on the reference page. I'm pretty certain you're always going to come across as a fangirl.

I printed last year's NaNo double-spaced for precisely that same reason. I'm not doing that right now because I'm still trying to be in writing mode instead of editing mode. (Admittedly, for me they're often one and the same, but at least it's not 'hardcore, full out' editing mode.)

=D

[jachyra]

“Crunch saw land out oar window. Bossy sailor tried to stop Crunch from going. Crunch toss him out side of boat to make better window.”

Read this line a half dozen times and I still crack up.

Re: =D

[elfhawk]

Crunch may not get many lines, but he has all the best ones. (I possibly may have given him a people-throwing thing.)

Re: =D

[jachyra]

Falling on dire rats, rolling into grimlocks...throwing people isn't out of character.

Re: =D

[elfhawk]

I write Crunch as this combination of 'what is the first thing that comes to mind should this happen-what is the funniest thing that you could do-Yoda.'