Sundered Faith, Part Three (3/3)

[elfhawk]

Final section. (No, I don't have any more story, why do you ask? Carmen certainly didn't help me prod the 'set six months later than this' story into some semblance of order last time I visited. You are being paranoid.)
Updated 12/10/11

Comments

[carmenwoods]

My only defense is that I don't have excellent story ideas. I have 30-minute puns.

Everything, the plot elements and scenes, and the shifts of POV, all fit together so well. I'm really glad I got to read this! And all your big spellcasting descriptions are really (ho ho) evocative - the imagery is a pleasure to read.

The only thing that's made me squint my head is the political geography, but then I have a hard time remembering city and country names in most books until a I'm couple dozen chapters in anyway.

Oh hay, December is totally NaMoNoWriMo - National More Novel Writing Month. I'm saying it on the internet, so it must be true. :3

[elfhawk]

I drew a map. The first one was a giant rectangle with two squares labeled and a couple others left blank. Then I drew a real map and added a dotted line going everywhere that was the route they took. (Because it was really meandering.) Think of it as a map of America. Sundabar is California. That makes Telubra Nevada, but it actually takes up a majority of the continent because its kings want to be emperors like the ones of ancient Allekhor, except better than them because they'll squash those Valencia-Texans like they were roaches and trample the Free Cities of New England under their plated boots

[carmenwoods]

The only possible thing you can do to clear this up is to scan that whole map and post it so that I can drool over it all this can be elucidated.

[elfhawk]

... but it's on lined paper in my notebook. (Yes, my NaNo got its own book, that is not weird at all.)

[carmenwoods]

Also, hugs.

[pariahsdream]

You have a good plot going on here, I'm pleased you did some Nano'ing and shared it, I only want to see more. <3 Also, I love what you did with throwing some doubt on 'what came back with Petra' from the void while still keeping the banter between the girls natural.

I was wondering if the prologue with the necklace was going to come back into the story again and I'm pleased to see it happen now.

I also liked the description of both pixies flying and the manner in which Petra 'helps' her friends climb mountains and such. <3

[elfhawk]

Writing more will be a while. My story timeline goes something like this:

(NaNo stuff) ----> (wtf goes here besides picking up Crunch?) -----> (that crap I was working on last year that I decided needed better backstory)

So there's still stuff in between I need to do before I can get back to what I actually had notes for.

The prologue actually got itself written because I needed something to connect the end back to the beginning. (Not that I meant to end specifically at the part where it references back to the beginning, but I needed to hint at a villain in the background that was messing with things, not just the girls continuing to coincidentally come across things.)

Next story arc will obviously be Khorevail, take two. This time with the audience getting to see it and its snobby priesthood. I've got packing and painting and moving to do before I make any serious inroads on it. (I'm thinking about Crunch being there. Because those Isadors are lying hussies.)

[pariahsdream]

Sounds good to me. I shall be patient and possibly fanarting stuff not to get you to write more no, why do you think that? as the mood strikes me.

And you are apparently busy doing moving stuff, but are you free to go see Tangled some time soon? I have a birthday coming up, you should entertain me for it. ;p

[elfhawk]

Rainy day at work means I have broken out my notebook for working on the next arc. Why do I do this to myself? (Oh right, bribed by art.)

Let me see what my schedule is like for the weekend. E and Wookie are signing the new lease Wednesday, so we're probably going to be busy painting this weekend. (My room is currently fluorescent lime green. I refuse to sleep in there until the color won't induce nightmares. E wasn't pleased with the purple master bedroom either. Apparently she doesn't like purple.) But it takes awhile for paint to dry, so I can probably sneak away between coats for a movie. (It's doing its damnedest to do better than Harry Potter. I am surprised that it's keeping up pretty well.)

[carmenwoods]

Another thing about your story that I enjoyed was that the region's sun and moon deities were complementary, rather than at odds as they so often are in fantasy. In that moronic "masculinity and femininity must never taint each other!" way. Ya gotta have balance, yo.

[elfhawk]

The sun and moon are usually allied... I know with Isis and Jadus I was going for the Egyptian incestuous wife/sister thing. And they accept both genders in their clergy, though it's unusual for women to be accepted by the sun and more so for men and the moon. (Vister was a follower of Jadus, not Isis

[carmenwoods]

I totally cackled my ass off at the "family unit" line. Heehee! And the the bit about getting clothing over pixie wings is one of those, "yeah, you never think about that, but it would totally be a problem!"

I'll go backwards a-spellcheckin' in case Odette decides to go forwards. Bless their digital little hearts.

===
Firm fingers graspinged her chin, making her look into Odette's eyes.

Carmen had already hoisted Tae up in a fireman's carry.

now was one of the time's she should lean on her companion.
(Bless that little apostrophe's heart.)

I’ve seen pixies darting about like they were five-year-old’s powered by sugar.”
(And bless that one's heart too!)

I know something has changed, but how can we tell if the leak has completely stopped.?”

they should (could?) have told someone with the power to do something about it.”

“Do you think the evil leaking out from here is directly correlated to with the events at the abbey?”

“You merely get locked up in a vault for someone else to try and again later,” Petra said with a snicker.