Bugging

[elevator_child]

I already posted this on Dee-ay but apparently it's going here as well. I've been having a lot of false starts on this stupid nonfiction project so I'm going to post some of them here I guess.
In other news: FUCK CREATIVE NONFICTION. I don't know how but this has turned into the class I hate the most.

Why this isn't going to be what I turn in: It's

Comments

[ben_za_man]

I will say, for it being short, it has potential. However to break it down and better critique this, I'd need to copy and paste this into a separate word document and proceed with some slight proofreading on areas where I feel there are too many commas, as well as add notes to certain sentences asking for more depth. In fact, I can see you turning this into a piece of poetry:) Overall, it's not bad. I especially like the last two lines:"But I am still looking, my gaze is still drawn. Like a moth to a flame." ^_^