(Now that I think about it, I think that at the end of the day, I probably wouldn't be comfortable donating eggs - the idea of having children out there that you don't know and won't ever see is just too odd.)
I looked into it the other month, when I heard that my cousin's going to be using assisted reproduction (surrogate mother, she can't carry a child herself) and didn't know yet whether she'd need an egg donor. If I didn't have ME, and she did need an egg donor (turns out she hopefully won't), I'd do it, but unfortunately they still don't know whether I could pass the ME along, and I could react really badly to the hormonal treatment for egg donation. But that's my cousin whom I love enormously, I don't think I'd want to be donating to strangers either for the same reason as you.
You might as well mark my response to the last two questions as "Never actually thought about this/Am too young to be thinking about this". Because, um, the thought of seriously having kids in the near future makes me panic and flail my arms about.
There's another reason for not doing assisted reproductive techniques...my religion is dead-set against them. It's probably the one thing I agree with in the "nuts and bolts" end of the teachings on human sexuality. (OK, I do agree with the big issues--sex should include love, it should be a total gift of self, etc.) I would never ever in a billion years tell another person what they should choose for their life, and I've known people who've gone through IVF. But for me personally, I wouldn't feel right choosing it. (Assuming for the moment that I wanted kids.)
I usually want kids more after hearing Dire Warnings about what it'll do to your career as a female academic. (This is either masochism or defiance; I'm not sure...)
I'm glad you answered, I was thinking of you when people raised the "Do men get broody?" question. You're one of the two men I've known who's been strongly and consistently broody since a relatively young age.
Assisted reproduction isn't about skipping doing things the natural way, I'm not quite sure what you meant by "Letting one skip it strikes me as madness." The human reproductive system doesn't always work effectively, even with the best will in the world. My cousin, for instance, would be killed by a pregnancy. Nevertheless, she and her husband both have viable gametes and want children, so they're pursuing using a surrogate mother. Ignoring for the moment the ethical issues of creating multiple embryos, what's your objection to their following this route? What about a same-sex couple who want kids, what do you think they should do? Or transsexuals?
But then, I've never been one to let societies idea of "manliness" affect my behaviour and attitudes, and by and large think the world would be a far better place if people
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Re: financial/career state - I should probably have pointed out above that while I'd say both would get in the way of me having children at this point in my life, career level is an other-than-financial issue. On this rung of the ladder, my life's just too unstable for me to be happy about the idea of kids right now - I could end up working anywhere in the country, and on temporary, short-term contracts. I have friends in the same position who do have children, and it adds an extra layer of complication to matters - moving is a much bigger issue when you have three school-age children and don't know where you'll be six months after you relocate anyway.
Financially, I couldn't have children now because I barely earn enough to feed myself. That said, I do think king_laugh has a point once you get above the poverty line. So long as my budget was enough to ensure my children were fed, clothed, sheltered and happy, it wouldn't bother me too much if my finances didn't stretch to Baby Gap clothes or M&S food or a house big enough that kids never had
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Yep, that's why I listed career and finances separately. I had your sort of position in mind. If you take an average of my friends, you'd get someone in their late twenties who still wasn't quite settled into a job that would pay enough to support a child, usually due to protracted education. Look at my best friend, who did four years of undergrad in languages, then worked at this and that for a couple of years, then did a law conversion course, then did a law traineeship, then got a law job but left after a year, and has just got another law job (in a field more suited to him this time). He'll be 30 in September and is only now getting to the point where he can start thinking about buying a property and settling down. He's had to go back to living with his parents at various points over the years, for instance when all his savings went into the cost of law school. Even had he been in a suitable relationship, I can't see a point during his twenties when he'd have been able to support a child
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(Now that I think about it, I think that at the end of the day, I probably wouldn't be comfortable donating eggs - the idea of having children out there that you don't know and won't ever see is just too odd.)
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Assisted reproduction isn't about skipping doing things the natural way, I'm not quite sure what you meant by "Letting one skip it strikes me as madness." The human reproductive system doesn't always work effectively, even with the best will in the world. My cousin, for instance, would be killed by a pregnancy. Nevertheless, she and her husband both have viable gametes and want children, so they're pursuing using a surrogate mother. Ignoring for the moment the ethical issues of creating multiple embryos, what's your objection to their following this route? What about a same-sex couple who want kids, what do you think they should do? Or transsexuals?
But then, I've never been one to let societies idea of "manliness" affect my behaviour and attitudes, and by and large think the world would be a far better place if people ( ... )
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Financially, I couldn't have children now because I barely earn enough to feed myself. That said, I do think king_laugh has a point once you get above the poverty line. So long as my budget was enough to ensure my children were fed, clothed, sheltered and happy, it wouldn't bother me too much if my finances didn't stretch to Baby Gap clothes or M&S food or a house big enough that kids never had ( ... )
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