Fic: Repudiation
Title: Repudiation
Author: Elena
Fandom: Star Wars EU - LotF
Summary: See Allana. See Allana grow. Grow Allana grow.
Next Part - Story Index
When I was seven years old, my father came to live with me and my mother forever. I had never seen him before - in fact, I had never even thought of him. It was common enough in the Hapes Star Cluster for a child to have no father. My many cousins had no fathers either, or they were so distant and powerless that they meant little to a child accustomed to seeing only women around. The lack of a father didn’t prey on me overmuch.
So it was perhaps understandable that I was so upset to have a strange, foreign man come into my life so suddenly. He was so very odd - he spoke my language with a heavy accent and wore cheap, poor clothes, and…he was not beautiful. Even the lowest among us have a strange, otherworldly beauty, and this man was, to put it simply, ugly. To someone who had never left Hapes, he was repulsive. I hated him, hated the very sight of him, and the only reason I tolerated his smiles and caresses and tenderly spoken words was because my mother loved him.
I adored my mother.
So for those first few months, I hid my distaste for my father behind the porcelain mask of my face. I smiled at him as nicely as an insipid commoner, and begged for attention from him like a pet dog to its master, and I hated every moment of it. Subservience never came easily to me. I thought, in my childish naïveté, that I had fooled him with my act, but I now know I was wrong. He knew I hated him, probably knew it from the very moment he met me. He was disappointed, but I think he didn’t want to force a relationship - not with his only daughter. So he let me be, and many days would go by between our sporadic meetings.
Unfortunately, I hated him more than ever, for he had taken my precious mother with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
With his coming, my father had brought war, and with war went my mother. I saw her less and less as the months passed. There was the mobilization of the fleet to deal with, and then the overall strategy, the last-minute diplomatic talks - she was in meetings constantly, or she was traveling around the area to garner support. And everywhere, my father followed her.
I saw her once more on the day that the fleet mobilized entirely. I don’t remember it very well; it was very early in the morning, and I was just a sleepy child. But I remember the sound of her voice echoing in my dark room, saying, “I leave for the front, Allana, and the time of my return is…uncertain. I want you to have a gift, though - a sign of my favor.”
I remember the hard edges of her signet ring pressed into my small hands, and I remember her figure silhouetted against the light of the moons as she walked away, my father waiting for her at the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
I am not ashamed to say that I was afraid for most of those early years. I may have been Chume’ta, but I was weak. Without my mother, I was without defenses in the deadly game Hapan nobility played. I was alone and afraid, and I did not want to die. The survival instinct all sentient species share is a powerful thing…
…but that is not why I survived, not entirely. Nor did I survive because I was cruel, or callous, or calculating, although all three of those factors helped. No, I survived because I could see to the truth of the matter, and that is a useful skill among dissemblers.
My cousins and the other courtiers lied to me constantly. They said to me, "You are Chume'ta, and I will do as you say," and they ignored my every command. When my commands grew too shrill, they said, "Chume'ta, we cannot - only our Great Mother can ask that of us." One of their number, an old man from my great-great-grandmother's reign, was brave enough to say what they all thought - "You are not of us, and we will not follow you."
I had him executed. That, at least, was within my rights.
Now when I commanded the court, they did as I said, but grudgingly. They whispered evil things under their breath and glared at me with dull, sullen eyes. Who was I, to order them about? Who was I, to have them killed? Who was I, the half-breed daughter of a half-breed Queen, barely Hapan?
I was Chume'ta, and they would obey me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
While the court at Chume'Dan seethed in fury, I found other allies while executing my duties as heir. I was Chume'ta, and my mother would trust no other to administer her Empire - and Empire it was, for as the years passed, more and more territory was taken from the warring states, and those new territories were rich - in money, or metal, or food, or people.
To administer such rich territory, I had loyal, clever servants; second or third daughters, and unwanted sons, minor nobility of no consequence, with nothing but their names, their pedigrees, and the gifts they were given at birth. These people had no land, no money, and no clout, but ambition they had, and will - far more than their spoiled elder sisters and foolish, short-sighted mothers. Some I sent to govern, and some I sent to draft, and many I sent to tax. Soon, the money and materiel for battleships came pouring into our coffers, and the people to serve, and the food to feed the soldiers.
And with all the wealth came loyalty, for the women and men I had appointed as my proxies among the stars loved me for my generosity.
They loved me still more when I killed my cousin Alyssia and distributed her vast wealth among my favored.
~~~~~~~~~~~~`
It was a cruel thing I did, but necessary. Alyssia had grown complacent since my grandmother Teneniel's death, speaking more and more against my mother and her blood. Her end came the day she stood up before the court and baldly declared before an applauding crowd that she would follow no Queen who was not Hapan.
On a bright sunny day in spring, when the leaves were just budding off the trees and the sky was a pure pale blue, I killed Alyssia and her get. I killed her quickly, which was more than she deserved - but the long darkness of torture is not an adequate example, and it was an example I needed. I used the sword, and one after another, I took their heads - first Alyssia, then her children, then her grandchildren, then her brothers and sisters and their children and grandchildren. At the end of the day, three dozen people had been decapitated in front of the entire court, and gore covered my fine golden silks.
And then I had the heads spiked on a wall to rot; a reminder to the Court of the fruit of treason.
~~~~~~~~~~``
True power is not measured in gold or diamonds or money or land. Nor is it measured in honor or life or love. It is measured in belief, and belief is a hard thing to gain. I knew I had gained it when a dispute was brought before me over a manner of honor, and when I had judged, the loser in the dispute committed suicide. Her Lady had turned her favor from her; how could she cope?
I was Chume'ta, larger than life, more than mortal, better than human. I was peerless. I was a reflection of all they wanted in a protector and in themselves.
I rather think they reflected me.
Author: Elena
Fandom: Star Wars EU - LotF
Summary: See Allana. See Allana grow. Grow Allana grow.
Next Part - Story Index
When I was seven years old, my father came to live with me and my mother forever. I had never seen him before - in fact, I had never even thought of him. It was common enough in the Hapes Star Cluster for a child to have no father. My many cousins had no fathers either, or they were so distant and powerless that they meant little to a child accustomed to seeing only women around. The lack of a father didn’t prey on me overmuch.
So it was perhaps understandable that I was so upset to have a strange, foreign man come into my life so suddenly. He was so very odd - he spoke my language with a heavy accent and wore cheap, poor clothes, and…he was not beautiful. Even the lowest among us have a strange, otherworldly beauty, and this man was, to put it simply, ugly. To someone who had never left Hapes, he was repulsive. I hated him, hated the very sight of him, and the only reason I tolerated his smiles and caresses and tenderly spoken words was because my mother loved him.
I adored my mother.
So for those first few months, I hid my distaste for my father behind the porcelain mask of my face. I smiled at him as nicely as an insipid commoner, and begged for attention from him like a pet dog to its master, and I hated every moment of it. Subservience never came easily to me. I thought, in my childish naïveté, that I had fooled him with my act, but I now know I was wrong. He knew I hated him, probably knew it from the very moment he met me. He was disappointed, but I think he didn’t want to force a relationship - not with his only daughter. So he let me be, and many days would go by between our sporadic meetings.
Unfortunately, I hated him more than ever, for he had taken my precious mother with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
With his coming, my father had brought war, and with war went my mother. I saw her less and less as the months passed. There was the mobilization of the fleet to deal with, and then the overall strategy, the last-minute diplomatic talks - she was in meetings constantly, or she was traveling around the area to garner support. And everywhere, my father followed her.
I saw her once more on the day that the fleet mobilized entirely. I don’t remember it very well; it was very early in the morning, and I was just a sleepy child. But I remember the sound of her voice echoing in my dark room, saying, “I leave for the front, Allana, and the time of my return is…uncertain. I want you to have a gift, though - a sign of my favor.”
I remember the hard edges of her signet ring pressed into my small hands, and I remember her figure silhouetted against the light of the moons as she walked away, my father waiting for her at the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
I am not ashamed to say that I was afraid for most of those early years. I may have been Chume’ta, but I was weak. Without my mother, I was without defenses in the deadly game Hapan nobility played. I was alone and afraid, and I did not want to die. The survival instinct all sentient species share is a powerful thing…
…but that is not why I survived, not entirely. Nor did I survive because I was cruel, or callous, or calculating, although all three of those factors helped. No, I survived because I could see to the truth of the matter, and that is a useful skill among dissemblers.
My cousins and the other courtiers lied to me constantly. They said to me, "You are Chume'ta, and I will do as you say," and they ignored my every command. When my commands grew too shrill, they said, "Chume'ta, we cannot - only our Great Mother can ask that of us." One of their number, an old man from my great-great-grandmother's reign, was brave enough to say what they all thought - "You are not of us, and we will not follow you."
I had him executed. That, at least, was within my rights.
Now when I commanded the court, they did as I said, but grudgingly. They whispered evil things under their breath and glared at me with dull, sullen eyes. Who was I, to order them about? Who was I, to have them killed? Who was I, the half-breed daughter of a half-breed Queen, barely Hapan?
I was Chume'ta, and they would obey me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
While the court at Chume'Dan seethed in fury, I found other allies while executing my duties as heir. I was Chume'ta, and my mother would trust no other to administer her Empire - and Empire it was, for as the years passed, more and more territory was taken from the warring states, and those new territories were rich - in money, or metal, or food, or people.
To administer such rich territory, I had loyal, clever servants; second or third daughters, and unwanted sons, minor nobility of no consequence, with nothing but their names, their pedigrees, and the gifts they were given at birth. These people had no land, no money, and no clout, but ambition they had, and will - far more than their spoiled elder sisters and foolish, short-sighted mothers. Some I sent to govern, and some I sent to draft, and many I sent to tax. Soon, the money and materiel for battleships came pouring into our coffers, and the people to serve, and the food to feed the soldiers.
And with all the wealth came loyalty, for the women and men I had appointed as my proxies among the stars loved me for my generosity.
They loved me still more when I killed my cousin Alyssia and distributed her vast wealth among my favored.
~~~~~~~~~~~~`
It was a cruel thing I did, but necessary. Alyssia had grown complacent since my grandmother Teneniel's death, speaking more and more against my mother and her blood. Her end came the day she stood up before the court and baldly declared before an applauding crowd that she would follow no Queen who was not Hapan.
On a bright sunny day in spring, when the leaves were just budding off the trees and the sky was a pure pale blue, I killed Alyssia and her get. I killed her quickly, which was more than she deserved - but the long darkness of torture is not an adequate example, and it was an example I needed. I used the sword, and one after another, I took their heads - first Alyssia, then her children, then her grandchildren, then her brothers and sisters and their children and grandchildren. At the end of the day, three dozen people had been decapitated in front of the entire court, and gore covered my fine golden silks.
And then I had the heads spiked on a wall to rot; a reminder to the Court of the fruit of treason.
~~~~~~~~~~``
True power is not measured in gold or diamonds or money or land. Nor is it measured in honor or life or love. It is measured in belief, and belief is a hard thing to gain. I knew I had gained it when a dispute was brought before me over a manner of honor, and when I had judged, the loser in the dispute committed suicide. Her Lady had turned her favor from her; how could she cope?
I was Chume'ta, larger than life, more than mortal, better than human. I was peerless. I was a reflection of all they wanted in a protector and in themselves.
I rather think they reflected me.