Briefly, 2009.

[eleanor_ramilly]

The plusses: had job, was good at job; built house; became able to speak Spanish competently; made some female friends locally

Comments

[jamiethetiger]

Certainly those are questions only you can answer. I would put out that there your "grown up self" is still only another iteration of yourself, with more to come. I've never yet found someone who at all times, I want to be interlocked to. Sometimes, you have to relearn each other, how to be with each other, and how your changed selves interlock.

So easy to say, so very hard to do (as I'm doing it right now, I do understand the work involved)

[cb_goes_home]

Hey, I don't have any answers, but I applaud you for speaking so openly and honestly about what must be very difficult.

[grassyslough]

Yeah, no answers from me either, in large part because I don't think there are any "right" or "wrong" answers here. Very hard questions, though.

[emmawoodhouse]

Obviously, you're the only person who can answer that. There's never going to be someone who makes you happy and butterfly fluttery until eternity, so you say "Hey, does this person make me happy more than they make me unhappy?" And of course, the other question is what would happen if your marriage ended. What would be the fallout -- you don't have kids, so you have some latitude there, only you know how your family would react and how much you care about that, the financial ramifications, etc.

I will say that I have often thought that your life is not a good fit for you, which does not translate necessarily to Chris not being a good fit for you. But the external circumstances of what you have/do don't seem to be very Marisa.

[eleanor_ramilly]

My family would freak out. If I did this, I would seriously consider joining the military. I am eligible to enter for another 4 months. And it solves most of the logistical problems.

[eleanor_ramilly]

My current thinking is this: tell Chris state of affairs after we get back from LA. Ask him to go to counseling. Investigate military on my own. If he says categorically no to counseling, inform him of military plans/plans for separation. If that doesn't get him to counseling, then that's kind of an answer right there, and I proceed to nip into the Coast Guard just before my 33rd birthday, which will answer the question of what to do with myself for at least the next four years. NC requires a year's separation before one can be divorced anyway.

[emmawoodhouse]

If you do end up joining the military, I hope you get to travel. You're one of those people who I think would benefit enormously from travel.

[xotiffany]

Hi there. I did a search for users interested in Crossfit and came across you. I created a community that will hopefully become active and I'd like if you considered joining. Thanks! crossfit_lj