Original Fic

[el_bastard]

Hihi, an original fic post for ammoneva. We're challenging each other to write more.

No one else needs to read, but they're welcome to as they will.

OMG The Four Riders
Part One: Conquest

Comments

[lenora_rose]

A bit first-drafty but a fun beginning.

Am I allowed to make little nitpicks?

[el_bastard]

:D

I would love little nitpicks.

BUT! If that's an offer of critiquing, would I be able to ask for your comments on the second draft rather than the first-drafty first draft? I will continue to post them as I go, to encourage and be encouraged by Tanya :)

[lenora_rose]

Nope, no critique. Just two little things caught my eye.

1- "Hear, hear". It means "listen to what this person has to say," not, "this place, this place".

2- A number of people of colour find describing their skin tone in shades of food offensive. This is a fuzzy one, but I thought I'd warn you. It has a long tradition, since food is ubiquitous.

[el_bastard]

Woops. That's slightly embarrassing. On both counts.

Heh, thanks very much :)