Self Discovery

[ejjury]

I remember in middle school and high school being confused. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend when everyone else was. I asked a guy or two out, was immediately rejected, but never felt bad about it (relief actually) because it meant I wouldn't have to do things that others were doing and/or talking about doing. In high school I

Comments

[takemychance]

I'm going to check out that HuffPost series, it sound really interesting. You know, I have friends who identified as Asexual in high school. I'm so glad that you're finding out what makes you tick, and what are the things that you're looking for. You are one of my favorite people, hands down, and I wish you all of the happiness in the world. I really think that there's someone out there for everybody, and the moment that you can start articulating what you want out of any relationship, that's the moment when you start finding someone else who might be able to complement the true you.

<3

[ejjury]

Thank you so much!

It is actually a lot less confusing right now since I have been going through the AVEN forums and asking questions. I can find terms to describe myself to others that they can look up themselves.

I am: Asexual, Aromantic, and Aesthetically attracted to men.

[crush3dtomato3s]

I agree completely with megan, youre an amazing person.

My friend is a lesbian and she is basically asexual. Her and her partner have sex, but you can tell its not something she craves like the general population. I think it has a lot to say about a person. Its like you use a different part of your brain and there is more to life than sex. And there really is.

Im glad you have not sold yourself short by 'doing it' because thats what is expected of you. It says a lot more about your character than how wide you can spread your legs ;)

[ejjury]

Thank you so much!

I often wonder if many people chose the path of priest, nun, monk, etc. back in the "olden days" to deal with this. I remember wanting to be a nun when I was right around puberty because then I would never have to deal with sex. Then my parents had to go and ruin it by reminding me that we were Lutheran....and Lutherans didn't have nuns.

[crush3dtomato3s]

haha I didnt know Lutherans didnt have nuns. Being a nun though...I imagine sweating a lot in those hooded cloaks.

[ejjury]

Thanks guys. I realize now how incredibly hard this probably was to read. Cell phone posts early in the morning are a bad idea when trying to convey eloquence.

[teebone51]

Hi Cambree. I'm glad you are learning things that are making you more comfortable with yourself. I think socail awareness of asexuality is increasing as well, since I've been seeing more A's appearing in queer alphabet soup lists (though it's always hard to tell because, as it happens, several words begin with A). Also a documentary or two has popped up on my Netflix instant watch.

[ejjury]

Thank you!

I was told that the really good thing to do for research is go into the AVEN forums, read the Understanding Asexuality book by Anthony Bogaert, and read the Huffpost series on asexuals.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/17/what-is-asexuality_n_3360424.html

It was all very helpful to me, and I am going to get a copy of the book to read myself (and to pass along when done).

[supernonamegirl]

I'm happy for you!
I have some internet friends that identify as asexual, and even wondered if I might be for a bit. It can be a really supportive community. Sometimes, people need to find the right vocabulary to help understand themselves better and I hope that this complete feeling stays with you.

(Also, sometimes the A in LGBT alphabets is allies, which I sort of dislike, because the Allies don't really need support? Like, it's great that you're not homophobic, but I'm pretty sure no one is discriminating against you and it's not really about you. That said, sometimes it does mean Asexual, and most people seem to agree that asexuality falls under the "queer" umbrella, so, look for Q's.)

[ejjury]

Thanks!

The AVEN forum has been great so far, and the articles, books, and comics are all making me feel more comfortable and aware.

[teebone51]

That's a good point about allies. I never really thought about it that way. Dern heteros trying to horn in!

I kind of flip-flop on the acronym. On one hand, it's impractical to have 10+ letters, but on the other hand I get you don't want to exclude people. I propose we leave Allies in because we're a little short on vowels. We should also rearrange it so it's pronouncable. [Tries for a minute.] Oh yeah, with two Q's in there, that's just going to be impossible. May I put forth that Asexuals switch it to Unsexuals for the express purpose of making it easier to make acronyms with Q's in them? And, um, we need one more U, so ... [flips through dictionary and finds: uber(sexual), Ubangi(sexual), ufo(sexual), ugly(sexual), and uh-oh(sexual)].

Okay I should go back to work now.