The Burrow

[eiremauve]

Title: A Tragedy and a Rainbow
Author: eiremauve
Rating: PG
Warnings: Off-screen death of thousands of civilians
Word Count: 508
Prompt: Good Omens
A/N: Based on a true story. This probably should have been a poem. >_<

Comments

[keppiehed]

I always appreciate when people share their real life with us. I think it takes tremendous courage to do so. I like how you used the omen at the end of the story.

[eiremauve]

Thank you very much! Glad you liked how I used omen!

[osoreranai]

I remember this. My dad was actually supposed to be on one of the planes that crashed into the towers. He ended up missing out on the flight, so he was safe. I dunno. I guess God was gracious to us, though I can't figure how we earned the favor.

Anyway, gutsy to talk about this, especially in light of recent events.

[eiremauve]

Thank you very much! Wow, glad your dad missed that flight!

Re: ROAR

[eiremauve]

You're welcome! Glad you liked it. Thank you for your suggestion!

Re: Edit!

[eiremauve]

Thank you very much! The suggestions were very helpful!

roar time

[bardiphouka]

I am going to agree with urb_banal on this one. The story? vignette? is deserving of a better beginning. Hooks are arguably one of the most important aspects of a story. Hook being the very beginning of a story..to hook (sic) the reader into the rest of the story. Although I might suggest leaving the other paragraphs were they are and coming up with something more for the first sentence/paragraph.

As for the rest, your friendly editor has shown all I could plus more so I shall merely say good job and jump on the ROAR cart and bundle off.

Re: roar time

[eiremauve]

Thank you very much! Adding something to the beginning would probably be better than changing the first paragraph.