LJ Idol: Empty Gestures (Topic 1)

[eggsnail]

You have turned twenty-one, and this is a significant milestone in your life! We congratulate you on reaching this passage into adulthood. Things change, as we age and blossom into an adult. As you grow, expectations of you will change, as well. For example, gifts given at Christmas and on birthdays will be expected to be reciprocal. You will

Comments

[peaxh]

They didn't send you anything at all? That doesn't make sense. You aren't 21 yet so the rules don't apply, silly people! They send you a present, NEXT year they can neglect that part.

Happy early birthday. =]

[eggsnail]

lol - Nope. Just the card and letter. Thanks, though. My birthday isn't until February of next year, and I'll actually be 26. So this was a few years ago.

[comedychick]

What? OMG, that's absolutely ridiculous.

This must be one of the reasons I'd prefer no gift at all than something the gifter hasn't put any thought into. Expecting something in return indeed. If they were decent family members, and close enough, that would go without saying. Having to say it? I can't even imagine.

[eggsnail]

Well, and what was extra absurd was the fact that I was in college at the time. What money did they presume I would be purchasing these gifts with? My brother has three daughters, and I doubt seriously that my parents would stop sending them gifts if they turned twenty-one and were unable to send them themselves. For me, giving gifts isn't about getting any back. If I care about someone, I'll send them a gift if I can, and if they can't reciprocate, it's perfectly okay.

It was just worse that it was my grandparents. -.-

[Edited for some grammar fail.]

[comedychick]

Yes, I can see that, too. I don't expect getting gifts back either. Although I kind of hate the custom that, at least among those I knew back in Australia, it was expected that you would bring a gift if you were invited to a birthday party, unless you specifically stated that you didn't want any. If I want to give someone a gift, I will do it, regardless of whether they have a birthday party, and even if it's their birthday or Christmas. Sorry, pet peeve ;)

But back to family stuff... why can't it be acceptable for your parents to give them the gifts, and just attach your name to the card, if you couldn't afford something? We pretty much always give joint gifts like that. I can't believe that could be the behaviour of someone's grandparents.

[eggsnail]

If I want to give someone a gift, I will do it, regardless of whether they have a birthday party, and even if it's their birthday or Christmas. Sorry, pet peeve ;)

No need for apologies! I completely agree. And I also agree with your last question. That was the way things had been done for years. Twenty-one of them! My mother would always send gifts (this was her mother and step-father) for holidays and birthdays, but this was no longer acceptable. I had to send my own gift, apparently. -.- Needless to say, I don't get gifts from my grandparents anymore. ;)

[eggsnail]

"Utter gall" about captures it. It might be prudent to mention that much of my grandparents' behavior is at the discretion of my grandmother's husband, "Grandpa G," who is not, in fact, my biological grandfather. He is my mother's step-father and has pretty much been a thorn in everyone's side since they were married. My grandmother has great potential to be a kind, loving person. Without him, she reminds me so much of my mother, who is one of the best people that I know.

But, with him, the couple spits out letters like this, visits their family (well, my grandmother's family) for a maximum of about four hours every 2-3 years, etc. What makes this worse is the fact that they currently live in Oregon and my family lives on the opposite end of the country. So, it isn't as if we get to see them much as it is.

And, thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[kanaetkassad]

i agree with this comment. especially about capturing the feelings of bewilderment, etc.

[eggsnail]

Thank you! :)

[baxaphobia]

This is incredible! Just incredible that people could be so unfeeling! I'm astounded!

[eggsnail]

They're a interesting pair, to say the very least.

[lordhellebore]

That is absolutely ridiculous. What sane person would write something like that and use "love" in the same letter, and mean it? It's blatantly antithetical and exposes really well what some people understand as "love".

Also, I agree on the "well written" comment someone made before me. Letters as introduction are always a nice means to pull the reader into a piece of writing.

[eggsnail]

Agreed to the first.

And thank you, to the second! :)