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[eetmewithtoast]

I was in a fury yesterday. I had just said my piece to continue both of the argument-threads that I had running with en_ki. And then I read a comment freeko had made on a subsequent Friends-Only post. I won't repeat it without his permission, but it was a glorious message of love and forgiveness and humanity. My anger melted into relief and melancholy.

Comments

[freeko]

You can repeat I am cool with that. I like to think what sets me apart from others is my compassion and understanding and my willingness to be forgiving. I am not saying it is easy and let me tell you, there are going to be people out there who just have hang-ups. They will invert the truth, invert your good intentions, make assumptions that are false. Yet still I rise! (Hmmm! To Paraphrase Maya Angelou, that is my favourite poem!) Yes I choose to still give love, because If I do not do not, I will be cold, frozen and become what I most despise!. I refuse to be become what I hate the most. I refuse to be expedient and I choose to be patient and understanding and loving. I choose life and I refuse psychick death!

[eetmewithtoast]

You gave a well-timed message. I wish the people I'm fighting with hadn't felt the need to tear into you, as well. But that's just a wistful wish . . . different from being infuriated at what they did.

I'm so balanced right now. Been awhile since I felt like this.

[freeko]

I am not angry at them, just as I am not angry at those who have aggrieved me. Disappointed? Of course I am, who wouldn't be disappointed when you find out that your so-called friend is not one. Yet I still keep on keeping on. It is shame because I am the one person that would be there if they were down and out. Maybe I do not offer material goodies or shit like that, but I have always been unconditional in my friendship. But you know it easy to forget those who believed in you when no one would. I am not one to shoot someone down, but there is a part of me that feels like saying find someone else that cares. I am tired of being taken for granted! I am tired of being a good soldier!

[catling]

Be. Stop to breath.

Love. Just love, and live.

Let go the anger before it poisons you more. I of all people can say this and maybe have you listen?

[eetmewithtoast]

I've thrown away the arguments and snipings between me, Otto, and Jane. At least, the ones that existed on this journal. Gone, all gone. I've prevented Jane from speaking more, here, and it would be just as easy to do the same to Otto if he proves he has nothing non-antagonistic to say to me.

Space. I now have space, at least here, and that's a necessary first. I have no current anger, but I need some time with this wonderful space before there's any possibility of sweeping aside my old resentments, especially towards the keystone of this problem. I feel good, though. Not just in general- about this whole mess.