An Incredibly Jewish Day

[eetmewithtoast]

Hine ma tovu manahim,
Shevet acheem gamyachad.I woke up with that old Jewish round in my head, and it hasn't stopped. Guess that's a cue to write about the Shabbos dinner

Comments

[42itous]

I'm glad you were able to get some emotional support even though you're not comfortable telling everyone the details of what was making you miserable.

I remember going to spend the weekend with a [much more] orthodox family when I was a kid, and that for Friday dinner we had something they called "bread meat" which was the texture of tender beef but was vegetarian. Never heard of the stuff since then.

Amanda's Shabbat dinner sounds yummy, especially the cake. I share your opinion of dried coconut flakes, but I love coconut flavor. I make a Thai red-curry soup with coconut milk in it and it's delicious.

I've come out to a lot of friends in the past month or so. These are friends whom I know because their kids are R's age, so they're all kinds of people (and admittedly there are a few to whom I don't want to come out because I'm afraid of what they'll think). The ones I've told have been invariably supportive, and while they all say poly is not for them, they also say, "If it makes you happy then I'm all for it."

[eetmewithtoast]

I'm really proud you've been coming out as poly! That was something you were just contemplating, only a few months ago. I'm very likely going to come out to my Dad sometime during this quickly-coming visit. He'll of course tell Mom, but she'll be far, far away and only be able to give me any bad reactions over a telephone! I feel surer I can withstand that than any in-person bad reaction.

Once I'm over the parent hurdle, I think it'll be pretty simple to come out to close church friends and the like. I'm never going to be one of those people who introduces herself to strangers with her name and a whole bunch of labels to do with her sexuality and private life. *shrugs*

But then again, I also plan on writing life-based comics, so I may have total strangers who know me first as "that kinky bisexual polyamorous chick with three religions and no particular gender" or whatever. :)

[42itous]

Coming out is a completely unpredictable grab-bag. I've come out to friends who I thought would have issues with it and they've been completely supportive; when I came out to my parents (which was, like, six years ago now) I expected them to be rational, ask questions, and be generally okay with it. But my dad's only comment was, "It sounds unstable," and my mom was extremely upset. Sometimes the best cure is time: i.e. what they both needed was for years to pass without anything awful happening because of my polyamory. Now, I think they would prefer as little information as possible about it, but they also aren't upset about it anymore. I would kind of like to tell them that K now has a girlfriend, because maybe they'd feel a little better about the symmetry of that arrangement (versus me having a boyfriend when K was not poly), but I don't think they want to know.

The sooner you tell them, the sooner you can get started on whatever coming-to-terms regimen they need.

How is your dad doing, by the way?

[eetmewithtoast]

Yeah, my parents had a surprising reaction to when I told them I'd changed my name. My Dad expressed a worry that I wouldn't be able to use my diploma because it had the dead name on it. My mom didn't talk to me for weeks, and we were living togetherSince then, I've treaded very, very carefully and usually defaulted to just not telling them anything but surface stuff. You're closer to your parents, so I know that's not an option with you