[Fic] "Lemonade" chapter 18 -- BtVS/Gundam Wing/Naruto

Apr 24, 2011 23:27

One week less than a year is a pretty embarrassing gap between chapters. Sorry about that. (2,025 words)

Lemonade, Part XVIII )

fic: naruto, crossover, fic: btvs, fic: gundam wing, fandom: gundam wing, -lemonade, fandom: btvs, fandom: naruto, fic

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Comments 6

askerian April 25 2011, 06:21:48 UTC
:D :D :D!

I think you've done all you could with the translation gaps, so unless there was a major plot point coming about it it's okay to get rid of it now. XD

"I'm right and you know it. I bet you a blowjob Sasuke agrees with me too -- or he will once you translate."
*cackles* Oh, the whole convo. Man, they won't be able to say that kind of stuff around Sasuke anymore. So sad~

Aha! native world of the Sargul! Hmmmmmmmmm. >_____>

I kinda love how Sasuke calls it "pragmatism" instead of, oh, I don't know, ruthlessness or something more negative. Oh, ninjas. XD

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edenfalling April 25 2011, 06:44:46 UTC
I had fun with the language gap at first, and it just made more sense to me for people from different worlds NOT to automatically understand each other, but it was getting really frustrating to make Faith simplify her dialogue, figure out what Sasuke did and didn't understand, and keep mentioning Duo translating between them. What tipped me over the edge was that in the final scene here I needed Faith to know exactly how the blue demons described the Sarguls... except Sasuke only said those particular words in Japanese at the end of chapter 17, so how could she know the distinction? (Hence the little fudge about Faith and Duo talking on their way to join the caravan.)

Alas, Duo and Faith will no longer be able to joke behind Sasuke's back. :-( On the other hand, Faith and Sasuke can actually talk now, which should (I hope) let me hit a couple character arc points I hadn't been able to work in before. Also, I think this should help correct the way the story was tilting towards Faith/Duo + Sasuke, rather than Faith/Duo/Sasuke.

... )

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cherokee1 April 25 2011, 11:23:09 UTC
I am really glad that you are writing this again.
It has my full attention.
C

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edenfalling April 26 2011, 02:45:48 UTC
Thank you! I think I need to try concentrating on only one WIP at a time -- that's how I got An Ounce of Prevention finished a few years ago. The trick is figuring out which one to kill first...

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_meikyuu_ May 23 2011, 22:00:08 UTC
Hello^_^
I found this story on ffnet while looking for some nice crossover with GW or Naruto or preferably both and it got me hooked from the start! Can't wait for next parts:)

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edenfalling May 24 2011, 02:15:41 UTC
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. :-)

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