[thread] Quarantined Wings
‡Characters: OU! Kadaj OPEN
‡Where: By one of the Barrier Walls
‡When: Right after Mother was Taken Away & and during the blizzard.
‡Summary: Kadaj suffers the loss of Mother (and tries to freeze himself in the process ¬.¬)
‡Warnings: EPIC ANGST
Kadaj trudged through the steep snow barefoot, wearing nothing but a thin layer of dull white pajamas that had been issued to all the residents. Every moment of every day, he thought of Mother and how he might better serve her. And his fear-a very real, paralyzing fear-was that he’d never be able to please her enough. It was his job to find her, it was his job to protect her and have the Reunion. Under HIS watch she was brutally stolen away without the remnant ever becoming aware until it was far too late. Now he was sentenced to simply stagger through the rest of his existence, without hope or meaning, drowning in her disappearance.
Mired down in guilt, Kadaj was breaking. He was breaking and he was helpless to do anything about it. Over and over again the thoughts of how he should have known better spiked spears of agony through his heart. Mother had been quiet lately; he should have been there with her... then maybe none of this would have happened. It was his fault! It was all his fault. She was there, within his grasp... they spoke and they touched and now she was just gone. He didn’t know why he asked Yazoo for help before, only that at the time he felt like his chest was about to collapse.
Posture rigid and withdrawn, he dragged his feet and walked with slow swaying steps. Kadaj had completely trashed Loh-tria in his blind rage, and there was little, if anything left. All the shredding and screaming had left him fatigued and desperate. A faint flush colored his usually pale face -he couldn’t cry hard enough. Yet the anger that roared within him dried his tears.
The snow was freezing and he was warm, Kadaj thought sitting outside in as little as possible would somehow make things better. The cold permeating from the ground ached the soles of his feet, but the young remnant told himself that Mother was in much more pain than this, and any discomfort that came his way now he clearly deserved.
Away from everyone else, Kadaj sat in the snow. Curling tightly into a ball, he wrapped his arms protectively around his knees in a death grip. Tears of weakness filled his eyes. He blinked and blinked but they kept coming. Finally, he turned his face into his arm and gave up, letting them spill and shaking silently.
‡Where: By one of the Barrier Walls
‡When: Right after Mother was Taken Away & and during the blizzard.
‡Summary: Kadaj suffers the loss of Mother (and tries to freeze himself in the process ¬.¬)
‡Warnings: EPIC ANGST
Kadaj trudged through the steep snow barefoot, wearing nothing but a thin layer of dull white pajamas that had been issued to all the residents. Every moment of every day, he thought of Mother and how he might better serve her. And his fear-a very real, paralyzing fear-was that he’d never be able to please her enough. It was his job to find her, it was his job to protect her and have the Reunion. Under HIS watch she was brutally stolen away without the remnant ever becoming aware until it was far too late. Now he was sentenced to simply stagger through the rest of his existence, without hope or meaning, drowning in her disappearance.
Mired down in guilt, Kadaj was breaking. He was breaking and he was helpless to do anything about it. Over and over again the thoughts of how he should have known better spiked spears of agony through his heart. Mother had been quiet lately; he should have been there with her... then maybe none of this would have happened. It was his fault! It was all his fault. She was there, within his grasp... they spoke and they touched and now she was just gone. He didn’t know why he asked Yazoo for help before, only that at the time he felt like his chest was about to collapse.
Posture rigid and withdrawn, he dragged his feet and walked with slow swaying steps. Kadaj had completely trashed Loh-tria in his blind rage, and there was little, if anything left. All the shredding and screaming had left him fatigued and desperate. A faint flush colored his usually pale face -he couldn’t cry hard enough. Yet the anger that roared within him dried his tears.
The snow was freezing and he was warm, Kadaj thought sitting outside in as little as possible would somehow make things better. The cold permeating from the ground ached the soles of his feet, but the young remnant told himself that Mother was in much more pain than this, and any discomfort that came his way now he clearly deserved.
Away from everyone else, Kadaj sat in the snow. Curling tightly into a ball, he wrapped his arms protectively around his knees in a death grip. Tears of weakness filled his eyes. He blinked and blinked but they kept coming. Finally, he turned his face into his arm and gave up, letting them spill and shaking silently.