In Dreams
Logan didn't dream, not often anyway. Usually it was just blissful nothing or jumbled memories that tangled into nightmares, dragging from his sleep with a sharp shock that spiked right through him. It made him wonder just why he was so reluctant to get out of bed most mornings. After all, it wasn't as if laying there filled him with peace, not usually anyway.
The only peace he ever found was on the beach, and today even that seemed to be alluding him.
The waves rolled in fast, lapping at the sand eagerly, pushing and pulling and eroding. That's what water did after all. It broke things down. It turned massive blocks of stone into sand, ripped the shine from shards of glass, and housed everything from sharks to jellyfish. It was massive and intimidating, and some days Logan wanted nothing more than to tame it. To make it his. Other days though...
Other days Logan just watched it, viewing it as some people might view a god. All powerful, full of vengeance and life. Logan was no poet, and he definitely wasn't a scholar, but even he had his moments of understanding. These deep thoughts that shifted through his mind, making him uneasy, making him think until he had to close his eyes and shake it off.
He he did shake it off, but there was always something there waiting to take it's place.
Not bothering to roll up his jean legs, Logan stepped into the water, letting his train of thought shift violently onto a topic he'd been avoiding for weeks.
Love.
Or maybe not love, but something close. He thought about Neil, the boy who'd shoved him away... who he'd let go of. He still struggled to make up his mind about the situation, flipping from thinking it was all for the best, to resenting the other boy for leaving him behind. Neither stand felt right though, and no matter how long he thought about it, he couldn't think of one that did. All he knew was that it hurt. It really hurt, and even though sometimes just talking to the other boy made him want to rip his hair out... He missed him.
Then there was Donald. Donald who asked for nothing, but seemed to offer nearly everything. It was perfect, too perfect, actually, and it left him nervous and uneasy. It was getting to the point where every time he saw the other man, he was that much more reluctant to leave. Some might have said that was because he was falling, but Logan knew it wasn't that simple. He cared about Donald, he wanted Donald, but sometimes just being near the other man left him tense and bitchy, like he was looking for a reason to fight with him.
Stepping deeper into the waves the water started to soak the denim of his jeans, making his legs heavy and harder to lift.
Sitting down in the still shallow water, Logan took a deep breath. He wondered if he sat there long enough, would the water break him down as well? No, he guessed not, but it was a nice thought, one he let linger as he wrapped his arms around his knees and took a deep breath.
(NOTE: Not posted on the main com because he's a little too fragile to deal with new people, but if you're a friend and you can see this post, feel free to tag into this post. It's timed to early Thursday morning July 10th and I'll link it too the main com sometime around Monday most likely. If you're not sure if you should tag, just email/im me)
The only peace he ever found was on the beach, and today even that seemed to be alluding him.
The waves rolled in fast, lapping at the sand eagerly, pushing and pulling and eroding. That's what water did after all. It broke things down. It turned massive blocks of stone into sand, ripped the shine from shards of glass, and housed everything from sharks to jellyfish. It was massive and intimidating, and some days Logan wanted nothing more than to tame it. To make it his. Other days though...
Other days Logan just watched it, viewing it as some people might view a god. All powerful, full of vengeance and life. Logan was no poet, and he definitely wasn't a scholar, but even he had his moments of understanding. These deep thoughts that shifted through his mind, making him uneasy, making him think until he had to close his eyes and shake it off.
He he did shake it off, but there was always something there waiting to take it's place.
Not bothering to roll up his jean legs, Logan stepped into the water, letting his train of thought shift violently onto a topic he'd been avoiding for weeks.
Love.
Or maybe not love, but something close. He thought about Neil, the boy who'd shoved him away... who he'd let go of. He still struggled to make up his mind about the situation, flipping from thinking it was all for the best, to resenting the other boy for leaving him behind. Neither stand felt right though, and no matter how long he thought about it, he couldn't think of one that did. All he knew was that it hurt. It really hurt, and even though sometimes just talking to the other boy made him want to rip his hair out... He missed him.
Then there was Donald. Donald who asked for nothing, but seemed to offer nearly everything. It was perfect, too perfect, actually, and it left him nervous and uneasy. It was getting to the point where every time he saw the other man, he was that much more reluctant to leave. Some might have said that was because he was falling, but Logan knew it wasn't that simple. He cared about Donald, he wanted Donald, but sometimes just being near the other man left him tense and bitchy, like he was looking for a reason to fight with him.
Stepping deeper into the waves the water started to soak the denim of his jeans, making his legs heavy and harder to lift.
Sitting down in the still shallow water, Logan took a deep breath. He wondered if he sat there long enough, would the water break him down as well? No, he guessed not, but it was a nice thought, one he let linger as he wrapped his arms around his knees and took a deep breath.
(NOTE: Not posted on the main com because he's a little too fragile to deal with new people, but if you're a friend and you can see this post, feel free to tag into this post. It's timed to early Thursday morning July 10th and I'll link it too the main com sometime around Monday most likely. If you're not sure if you should tag, just email/im me)