i want a coin-operated boy made of plastic and elastic

[eatingthebirds]

"Oh Humbert Humbert, you never write! You never call!"
Over lunch, my parents revealed their idea of an ideal son-in-law.

THE MOTHER: Ping, you like Western food, don't you?
PING: (preoccupied with demolishing her steak) Mm, yes.
THE FATHER: She has to marry a Caucasian.
THE MOTHER: But it must be a Caucasian who can speak Chinese!
PING: (happily

Comments

[imprinted_soul]

this cracked me up SO hard.:P

oh, ping.

[eatingthebirds]

Always at your service, m'dear.

[fasheratti]

You don't look underage for anything, m'dear - you played a perfectly believable mother for MRT ride.

[eatingthebirds]

According to our classmates, I alternate between looking ten years younger than I actually am and ten years older than I actually am. Maybe when I'm 27, I'll look 17!

[fasheratti]

Er you might also happen to look 37...

[laiqualaurelote]

This may sound a little odd and out of the blue -

- but the paedophile thing? I totally identify.

[eatingthebirds]

Heavens, lady, we must start a support group.

How do you do!

[an_otherperson]

I can just imagine you getting carded for a NC16 movie... when you're 21!

But isn't it good that you're found the fountain of youth?

[eatingthebirds]

That is why, my good man, I will not be watching Wilde at the cinema. Though I'd desperately love to. Wilde is my LITERARY IDOL, next to Parker. This simply.. will not do. INJUSTICE!

[anonymous]

Brian.K - lol your parents quite open

[eatingthebirds]

Quite doesn't cover it.

"So Ping, you don't have a boyfriend yet ar?"
"Nope. I have a harem!"
"That's nice, dear."