Fic: And in the Darkness Bind Them (GH, Morgan/Lila, Lanaverse)
Title: And in the Darkness Bind Them
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 27 - Darkness
Pairing/Character(s): Morgan/Lila
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The series General Hospital and the characters appearing on it do not belong to me.
Word Count: 1794
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the Lanaverse.
Summary: While others used St. Patrick’s day as an excuse to enjoy the highs of alcohol, Morgan usually spent the night searching for the lows, getting quietly and methodically drunk.
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
Morgan sat alone in the dark.
It was the anniversary of his father’s death and the day his mother slipped away from him forever. He’d done his yearly duty to his irrevocably broken family. He’d gone to New York City to visit Michael’s bedside. Michael might not have been lost on that long ago St. Patrick’s day, but since it had spelled the death of their family, it seemed fitting. He’d gone to see his mother in Shadybrook, where even years later she still didn’t know who he was. And he’d finished the day as he always did, with a visit to his father’s grave, Kristina by his side.
It was his yearly ritual.
While others used St. Patrick’s day as an excuse to enjoy the highs of alcohol, Morgan usually spent the night searching for the lows, getting quietly and methodically drunk.
It was the part of the ritual that no one knew about, though he thought Kristina suspected. She’d been too anxious to have him come home to Alexis and Ric’s with her for her not to.
When he’d begged off, she’d looked at him with worried eyes, but she’d let him leave by himself.
And so he’d come home to what had been his father’s house.
He wasn’t really alone, after all. On this night the house was always filled with ghosts.
As he poured himself another tumbler full of scotch, he heard the door crack open.
Kristina, he thought with disgust. Just once couldn’t she ignore her big sister instincts and leave him alone?
“Go away,” he called out. “Didn’t I tell you I wanted to be -”
His voice trailed off as Lila appeared in the doorway, not his sister as he’d expected.
“Lila,” he greeted his girlfriend flatly. “Didn’t I tell you that tonight wasn’t good for me?”
She nodded, coming to sit next to him on the couch. “You did,” she acknowledged. “But I got a call from -”
“From Kristina,” Morgan finished for her. “I told her to leave me alone too.”
Lila took the glass from his hand, setting it down on an end table, and taking his hand in hers. “She’s worried about you, Morgan. And so am I.”
“I’m fine,” he insisted. “It’s sweet of both of you to worry, but this is just a bad day for me. Tomorrow it’ll pass.”
She shook her head. “You’re not fine. Each year I’ve known you, this day has gotten harder for you.”
“It’s the anniversary of my father’s death, the anniversary of my mother losing her mind and forgetting I exist, and very nearly the anniversary of the day my brother ended up with a bullet in his brain,” he countered flatly. “Should this day be easy for me?”
Lila sighed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” he asked irritably.
“You don’t talk about how hard this day is for you,” she said gently. “Don’t you think it’s strange that in the five years I’ve known you, I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve even talked about your parents or brother with me?”
“How often do you talk about your dead father or perennially absent mother?” he shot back defensively.
“First of all, I have no memory of my dead father, second of all, I talk about my mother a lot more than you do, and third, you’re not changing the subject. This is about you.”
He pulled his hand away and began pacing the length of the room. “I really don’t know what you want me to say, Lila.”
She watched him with a worried expression on her face. “Anything would be better than you keeping everything you feel about them bottled up inside.”
“And if I were to tell you I didn’t feel anything?” he challenged.
She shook her head. “I’d call you a liar.” She softened. “Morgan, I love you. Please talk to me.”
Morgan sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. He slowly crossed the room and sat back down on the couch with Lila.
She instantly scooted down till she could touch him, tugging his hand to her and twining their fingers together.
A silence hung between them, Lila staring anxiously up at Morgan, and Morgan staring straight ahead into the dark.
Finally, he spoke. “I was only six when Michael got shot, you know,” he began. “Mom didn’t take it well at all. She forced my dad to sign away his rights to both Michael and I, and she brought Michael home to stay with us against doctor’s recommendations.”
“With us?” Lila asked.
“Mom, Jax, and I.” He looked down and saw Lila staring at him incredulously. He grinned for a second, before a more somber expression replaced it. “Mom was married to Jax then. I don’t really remember a lot of it, I was too little. But I remember her seeming lighter, happier. And Jax was wonderful to Michael and I. Honestly, that was probably the most normal family we ever had, because my parents together were the very definition of dysfunctional.”
He shook his head to clear the memory away.
“But I was talking about Michael. So after he was shot, Mom decided that in order for him to recover, he needed to be at home. She arranged for round the clock nursing, and brought him home to his room like nothing had changed. I didn’t understand what was going on, and one afternoon, I snuck into Michael’s room, and climbed up on the bed and started asking him to wake up and play with me. When he didn’t answer, when he couldn’t answer, I started shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. I was yelling by then, and the nurse and Jax came running into the room and they pulled me off him. It was only after that my mom agreed to a long term care facility.”
He looked down at Lila.
“Are you sure you want to hear the rest of this?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“So they moved Michael and that’s when Mom and Jax’s marriage started falling apart for good.” He sighed. “It wasn’t Jax’s fault, god knows my mother wasn’t the easiest person to deal with, but I still think that losing him helped set her up for her final breakdown.”
“We can fast forward almost two years after that. My dad was married to Kate Howard, and I was living with them most of the time, because Mom was slowly slipping away even then. She was spending most of her time interfering in Uncle Jason’s marriage, and he managed to convince her that living with my dad would be better for everyone.”
Lila frowned. “I thought you said your mom made your dad give up his rights.”
“She did,” Morgan said. “It was just never that simple between them, and really the details don’t matter.” He took a breath. “Anyway, I was living with my dad and Kate, but then the bottom fell out. Dad and Jason and some of their bodyguards got into a shoot out with another local mob family. Eight people walked into it, and none of them came out of it alive.”
“Morgan…” Lila breathed, clutching tighter at his hand.
“My Grandma Bobbie, she was there when Mom found out, and she told me years later that Mom just lost it. Grandma had to sedate her, and when she woke up, it was like none of it had ever happened.”
He sighed. “The breakdown wasn’t surprising. After Michael was born she had PPD and ended up institutionalized because she shot someone. She had another breakdown when I was a kid. But the totality of it was out of left field. When she was coherent, which wasn’t often from what I understand, she didn’t even remember being married to my dad or me being born. All she remembered was living with Uncle Jason and them raising Michael together.”
He paused and Lila opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, not knowing what to say.
“So that day basically left me without a family,” he said hollowly. “Somehow I ended up with Alexis and Ric, they’ve never been willing to tell me how that happened. And they, and the girls, they became my family.”
He laughed bitterly. “And that is why I hate this day. That is why I avoid everyone and everything on it, because I can’t be myself. I can’t.”
“But Morgan, this is a part of yourself,” Lila said, bringing a hand up to caress his face. “Do you think I love you any less because you have demons?”
He couldn’t quite look at her. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye. “I love you, Morgan. That means I love all of you. Do you understand?”
“You mean that, don’t you?” he asked in disbelief.
“Of course I do,” she said tenderly. “All this time, have you never told me because you thought I’d stop loving you?”
He shrugged and looked a little abashed. “People that love me die or leave. I couldn’t stand it if you left me, Lila.”
She smiled, stroking his cheek once more. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.”
He shook his head. “No, not of course.” He clutched at her hand. “Promise me you’ll be here forever.”
Cautiously she asked, “Morgan, what are you asking me?”
“I think I’m asking you to marry me,” he said slowly. He nodded. “I am asking you to marry me.”
“What?” Lila squeaked. “Morgan, I don’t want you to do this because you’re upset. It’s an emotional day for you, and I don’t want you to -”
He laid a finger over her lips, shaking his head. “I’m not asking because of that. Lila, you’re my light out of the darkness. You made me realize that I could love and be loved, and that the world wouldn’t end.”
He slid off the couch and knelt before her. “Lila, please. Marry me, be my wife. Be my light.” He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
More emotions than he could count or identify flickered across her face.
Finally, she nodded.
“I need to hear the words, Lila,” he said desperately. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” was all she managed, before Morgan was tugging her down to the floor, sealing his lips to hers with a desperately urgent kiss. He poured all of himself into the kiss, every hope, desire, fear, and regret he’d ever felt.
He felt the darkness lift, and let Lila’s light wash over him.
Now that he knew the way out, he wouldn’t go back.
He wanted to be where the light was.
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 27 - Darkness
Pairing/Character(s): Morgan/Lila
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The series General Hospital and the characters appearing on it do not belong to me.
Word Count: 1794
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the Lanaverse.
Summary: While others used St. Patrick’s day as an excuse to enjoy the highs of alcohol, Morgan usually spent the night searching for the lows, getting quietly and methodically drunk.
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
Morgan sat alone in the dark.
It was the anniversary of his father’s death and the day his mother slipped away from him forever. He’d done his yearly duty to his irrevocably broken family. He’d gone to New York City to visit Michael’s bedside. Michael might not have been lost on that long ago St. Patrick’s day, but since it had spelled the death of their family, it seemed fitting. He’d gone to see his mother in Shadybrook, where even years later she still didn’t know who he was. And he’d finished the day as he always did, with a visit to his father’s grave, Kristina by his side.
It was his yearly ritual.
While others used St. Patrick’s day as an excuse to enjoy the highs of alcohol, Morgan usually spent the night searching for the lows, getting quietly and methodically drunk.
It was the part of the ritual that no one knew about, though he thought Kristina suspected. She’d been too anxious to have him come home to Alexis and Ric’s with her for her not to.
When he’d begged off, she’d looked at him with worried eyes, but she’d let him leave by himself.
And so he’d come home to what had been his father’s house.
He wasn’t really alone, after all. On this night the house was always filled with ghosts.
As he poured himself another tumbler full of scotch, he heard the door crack open.
Kristina, he thought with disgust. Just once couldn’t she ignore her big sister instincts and leave him alone?
“Go away,” he called out. “Didn’t I tell you I wanted to be -”
His voice trailed off as Lila appeared in the doorway, not his sister as he’d expected.
“Lila,” he greeted his girlfriend flatly. “Didn’t I tell you that tonight wasn’t good for me?”
She nodded, coming to sit next to him on the couch. “You did,” she acknowledged. “But I got a call from -”
“From Kristina,” Morgan finished for her. “I told her to leave me alone too.”
Lila took the glass from his hand, setting it down on an end table, and taking his hand in hers. “She’s worried about you, Morgan. And so am I.”
“I’m fine,” he insisted. “It’s sweet of both of you to worry, but this is just a bad day for me. Tomorrow it’ll pass.”
She shook her head. “You’re not fine. Each year I’ve known you, this day has gotten harder for you.”
“It’s the anniversary of my father’s death, the anniversary of my mother losing her mind and forgetting I exist, and very nearly the anniversary of the day my brother ended up with a bullet in his brain,” he countered flatly. “Should this day be easy for me?”
Lila sighed. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” he asked irritably.
“You don’t talk about how hard this day is for you,” she said gently. “Don’t you think it’s strange that in the five years I’ve known you, I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve even talked about your parents or brother with me?”
“How often do you talk about your dead father or perennially absent mother?” he shot back defensively.
“First of all, I have no memory of my dead father, second of all, I talk about my mother a lot more than you do, and third, you’re not changing the subject. This is about you.”
He pulled his hand away and began pacing the length of the room. “I really don’t know what you want me to say, Lila.”
She watched him with a worried expression on her face. “Anything would be better than you keeping everything you feel about them bottled up inside.”
“And if I were to tell you I didn’t feel anything?” he challenged.
She shook her head. “I’d call you a liar.” She softened. “Morgan, I love you. Please talk to me.”
Morgan sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. He slowly crossed the room and sat back down on the couch with Lila.
She instantly scooted down till she could touch him, tugging his hand to her and twining their fingers together.
A silence hung between them, Lila staring anxiously up at Morgan, and Morgan staring straight ahead into the dark.
Finally, he spoke. “I was only six when Michael got shot, you know,” he began. “Mom didn’t take it well at all. She forced my dad to sign away his rights to both Michael and I, and she brought Michael home to stay with us against doctor’s recommendations.”
“With us?” Lila asked.
“Mom, Jax, and I.” He looked down and saw Lila staring at him incredulously. He grinned for a second, before a more somber expression replaced it. “Mom was married to Jax then. I don’t really remember a lot of it, I was too little. But I remember her seeming lighter, happier. And Jax was wonderful to Michael and I. Honestly, that was probably the most normal family we ever had, because my parents together were the very definition of dysfunctional.”
He shook his head to clear the memory away.
“But I was talking about Michael. So after he was shot, Mom decided that in order for him to recover, he needed to be at home. She arranged for round the clock nursing, and brought him home to his room like nothing had changed. I didn’t understand what was going on, and one afternoon, I snuck into Michael’s room, and climbed up on the bed and started asking him to wake up and play with me. When he didn’t answer, when he couldn’t answer, I started shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. I was yelling by then, and the nurse and Jax came running into the room and they pulled me off him. It was only after that my mom agreed to a long term care facility.”
He looked down at Lila.
“Are you sure you want to hear the rest of this?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“So they moved Michael and that’s when Mom and Jax’s marriage started falling apart for good.” He sighed. “It wasn’t Jax’s fault, god knows my mother wasn’t the easiest person to deal with, but I still think that losing him helped set her up for her final breakdown.”
“We can fast forward almost two years after that. My dad was married to Kate Howard, and I was living with them most of the time, because Mom was slowly slipping away even then. She was spending most of her time interfering in Uncle Jason’s marriage, and he managed to convince her that living with my dad would be better for everyone.”
Lila frowned. “I thought you said your mom made your dad give up his rights.”
“She did,” Morgan said. “It was just never that simple between them, and really the details don’t matter.” He took a breath. “Anyway, I was living with my dad and Kate, but then the bottom fell out. Dad and Jason and some of their bodyguards got into a shoot out with another local mob family. Eight people walked into it, and none of them came out of it alive.”
“Morgan…” Lila breathed, clutching tighter at his hand.
“My Grandma Bobbie, she was there when Mom found out, and she told me years later that Mom just lost it. Grandma had to sedate her, and when she woke up, it was like none of it had ever happened.”
He sighed. “The breakdown wasn’t surprising. After Michael was born she had PPD and ended up institutionalized because she shot someone. She had another breakdown when I was a kid. But the totality of it was out of left field. When she was coherent, which wasn’t often from what I understand, she didn’t even remember being married to my dad or me being born. All she remembered was living with Uncle Jason and them raising Michael together.”
He paused and Lila opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, not knowing what to say.
“So that day basically left me without a family,” he said hollowly. “Somehow I ended up with Alexis and Ric, they’ve never been willing to tell me how that happened. And they, and the girls, they became my family.”
He laughed bitterly. “And that is why I hate this day. That is why I avoid everyone and everything on it, because I can’t be myself. I can’t.”
“But Morgan, this is a part of yourself,” Lila said, bringing a hand up to caress his face. “Do you think I love you any less because you have demons?”
He couldn’t quite look at her. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye. “I love you, Morgan. That means I love all of you. Do you understand?”
“You mean that, don’t you?” he asked in disbelief.
“Of course I do,” she said tenderly. “All this time, have you never told me because you thought I’d stop loving you?”
He shrugged and looked a little abashed. “People that love me die or leave. I couldn’t stand it if you left me, Lila.”
She smiled, stroking his cheek once more. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
“Of course.”
He shook his head. “No, not of course.” He clutched at her hand. “Promise me you’ll be here forever.”
Cautiously she asked, “Morgan, what are you asking me?”
“I think I’m asking you to marry me,” he said slowly. He nodded. “I am asking you to marry me.”
“What?” Lila squeaked. “Morgan, I don’t want you to do this because you’re upset. It’s an emotional day for you, and I don’t want you to -”
He laid a finger over her lips, shaking his head. “I’m not asking because of that. Lila, you’re my light out of the darkness. You made me realize that I could love and be loved, and that the world wouldn’t end.”
He slid off the couch and knelt before her. “Lila, please. Marry me, be my wife. Be my light.” He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
More emotions than he could count or identify flickered across her face.
Finally, she nodded.
“I need to hear the words, Lila,” he said desperately. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” was all she managed, before Morgan was tugging her down to the floor, sealing his lips to hers with a desperately urgent kiss. He poured all of himself into the kiss, every hope, desire, fear, and regret he’d ever felt.
He felt the darkness lift, and let Lila’s light wash over him.
Now that he knew the way out, he wouldn’t go back.
He wanted to be where the light was.