FanFiction

[e_spacegirl729]

They didn’t know what planet they were on--the TARDIS had a crash-landing. Nyssa and Tegan were lost. Adric wasn’t even sure what the Doctor was afraid of, but he knew for certain that he and the Doctor were scared.

“Adric, stay down and crawl. Crawl until you’re far enough away where you can run and not be seen.”

“But

Comments

[flo_nelja]

Hello!
Adric fan here, and I love Adric/Nyssa, so I was very happy to see what you've done here. I love the idea of the Shape-Changers, and the different shapes you made them take for each characters.

I have also a few criticisms, but I'm not sure you like it, so it will be only if you want them. Oh, just a thing: you really should put your fic under a lj-cut. It's quite a long post.

[flo_nelja]

I'm sooo glad you like it; this was my first posted DW story, so I was very nervous to begin with. I'd be happy to take your criticisms, because I know I have a lot to improve upon, I just want to know what I should improve. I'm not sure what an lj-cut is...i'm a bit technologically impaired. Now that I know that someone likes my stories, i hope to post more if that's all right. Thanks again!

[e_spacegirl729]

Oops, if you see the comment from Anonymous, that was me. I forgot to sign in before I wrote that.... :#3

[flo_nelja]

OK! So, criticism. Keep in mind that it's always to take with a pinch of salt; sometiles in canon something which bothers me is someone else's favourite, and reciprocally

[e_spacegirl729]

Thank you very much for your criticism; I'll be sure to take it all into consideration and make LOADS of changes before I post on fanfiction.net. You pointed out many things that I failed to catch as I was writing it--all my ideas came to me so quickly that I didn't bother to worry about whether they made sense, etc. When I make the changes and finally post on Fanfiction itself, I will let you know and maybe you could see how I/the story improved.

As far as the lj-cut is concerned, I have only posted 3 or 4 times, and this particular time, I used copy-paste, because I don't really know how to attach word documents and what-not. Sorry if my not-knowing is a bit annoying, but could you just explain the whole lj-cut system to me, please?

[flo_nelja]

You're welcome! And yeah, I'd love to have a link to the new version when it is done!

Like I said, there are two way of posting on LJ. html, where you type code (example : to make text bold like you did at the beginning, you type < b > at the beginning of the bold part, < / b > at the end, without the blanks). Then you should type < lj - cut > before tour introduction and < / lj - cut > after, still without the blanks.

If you're in RichText, to write in bold you select the text and click a button near the window. To make a lj-cut, you just select all the content after the introduction, and click the lj-cut button instead, IIRC (I use html).

[e_spacegirl729]

Also, I should probably explain why I did some things, i.e, the Doctor's attitude towards Adric. I did mean for the Doctor to treat him like a child for a few different purposes: 1. When someone has been completely driven out of his/her mind, that person, in a way, is like a child in the sense that the person doesn't have the capability of telling the difference between a lie (especially the almost ridiculously simple one that the Doctor used) and the truth. 2. In some ways Adric still is a child. His social and emotional immaturity is seen a lot in the different things that he does/says (for example, his chauvanist opinion in "Four to Doomsday" shows that he has a lot to learn). 3. The Doctor was absolutely desperate to snap Adric out of his insanity. In his mind, there wasn't much else that he could say that would work. Luckily, this particular lie did. 4. I couldn't have the Doctor say "the creature that posed as the Master" because Adric was so mad, he thought that it really was the Master. I will be sure to come up with

[flo_nelja]

that person, in a way, is like a child in the sense that the person doesn't have the capability of telling the difference between a lie (especially the almost ridiculously simple one that the Doctor used) and the truth.
Not always. Well, maybe it was the case here, but the Doctor didn't know. If it was spotted, he losed his confidence and it's bad too. That's why I said : lies are OK, such blatant lies are not.

I couldn't have the Doctor say "the creature that posed as the Master" because Adric was so mad, he thought that it really was the Master.
Yeah, but explaining it was not could reassure and calm him too, that's the thing!

And yeah for Adric being a child in many ways. My objection on this point was not so much: the Doctor shouldn't treat him like a child, that: he doesn't in canon (not more than any young companion).

In the show, unpleasant things happen more often to him than to the others
Only because he's been here for longer; but Nyssa lost her whole planet and civilization. It should count for something.

I will also

[e_spacegirl729]

You make a lot of valid points. Like I said, I will make A LOT of changes to it. I didn't mean to be defensive when I explained some of that stuff, I just wanted to give you my point of view. Sorry if me doing that came off as being rude. Like I also said before, this is only my first DW fanfiction that I'm going to post, so I am ready to make changes, (extremely) nervous to post the finished product, and eager to see what people think.

[flo_nelja]

You're not rude at all! I was afraid I was a little rude myself. And it explained some things, it really did. I just only replied to things I disagree with, which... maybe makes correct critic, but not nice posts. You know, I wouldn't have that conversation if I didn't like the fic in the first place!

[elanorsherlock]

hello!
Good to see someone posting on Earthshock. I don't check back here very often - I gave up when nothing was happening.
Good to see another Adric fan about and keep writing.Elanor