Comments | earth_moves: Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

earth_moves

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Jan 10, 2011 07:51

Aislynn's Birth.

Not what happened to me... what happened to her.

I KNOW that I didn't know what I didn't know.
Further more I spend a fair amount of time removing this hurdle for women who will allow me to.

But it STILL pisses me off.

I am not usually from the people that just goes with the flow... takes the average path... however you want to put it ( Read more... )

the-girls, 30 days of truth, guilt

Comments 7

imadoula January 10 2011, 17:08:01 UTC

We all have things that we regret...I will have to tell you about Connor's birth and what I learned from it. Even though it was my 'Victory VBAC' I still didn't know anything and he suffered after because of it.

For the record, forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do, IMO. :/

earth_moves January 10 2011, 17:49:31 UTC

Glad I am not alone. Thanks Amz.
I do think that your VBAC Victory was a huge LEAP forward though. I know that I am super proud of you.

I think it is too. My 'other to forgive' is coming up, but it will be locked. I am closer to forgiving him then me, for sure.

clinfitt January 10 2011, 18:03:27 UTC

:( I know that feeling. Just when I think I've forgiven myself though, somebody else drags me through the mud. Blech!

My real test will be when I am with my sister this month/next month ... whenever she decides to go into labor. I'm nervous about going back to that hospital, with everything that's happened I have nothing but negative vibes for that place.

earth_moves January 10 2011, 22:56:44 UTC

Yeah, I was concerned about being in RUH with a client, but I took some time to seriously think about it and put it 'in a place' and it was ok. I actually was so mentally exhausted and muddled when I was in the with Aislynn that I didn't remember any of the actual lay out or anything. It was like I had never been there. Weird eh?

(The comment has been removed)

earth_moves January 12 2011, 14:18:30 UTC

It's funny how you can just knee-jerk and not think things through sometimes. I have a hard time imagining you EVER doing that, for the record. You are always so solid. I hear your first birth story and I am floored by how much you kick ass. It's funny now to think of you. We were just two bellies passing in a porch at a doula's house. Funnier still that we had the same conversation with said doula that day. (Have I mentioned how shitty that all was lately? We were not the only women.)

All we can do is make it positive. I am so happy to know you. I am so glad you bat on the team for women and babies.

(The comment has been removed)

earth_moves January 13 2011, 13:47:06 UTC

I adore you.

clinfitt January 15 2011, 05:21:28 UTC

mamasbirth I agree with you. :( I was also 'abused' at the hands of an ignorant doctor and hospital staff. :( My sister is due Jan 25th with her 1st baby and she's a single mom. I've recently found out her regular doctor is not available in February and her back up doctor is the doctor that 'abused' me. It would be fine if my mom wasn't going on a trip because with a strong back up I know I can defend all of us, but she'll be gone January 30th to FEb 9th. GAWK! I'm a nervous wreck. !!