Comments | earlofgrey: 80 Proof, Product of Ireland.

earlofgrey

80 Proof, Product of Ireland.

Mar 15, 2006 10:43

I threw out all of my old notebooks a small while ago. Parker mistook the plastic bag into which I was throwing them and we took them home, by accident, and I threw them out all over again. The first things I ever tried to write were in there, as was the only evidence that I could be an artist, if I tried. Now it rots but does not disappear, ( Read more... )

death, ownership, dad

Comments 9

lelapin March 15 2006, 22:07:29 UTC

i wouldn't want to throw out my makeup. i'd be a little sad.

earlofgrey March 16 2006, 05:46:32 UTC

I would have been devastated if I'd lost it when I still needed it, but it was time for it to go. It was like holding on to my own ghost.

robinelaine March 15 2006, 22:07:43 UTC

Significant dates suck. Stuff sucks. Hang in there.

earlofgrey March 16 2006, 05:48:31 UTC

Thanks. You too.

orangeflckrgrin March 15 2006, 22:24:21 UTC

I should think I'd be in a mood for months if I ever threw out my first writing by accident, or lost them to a fire or flood or something of the sort. Never mind how atrocious beginnings are. Beginnings help us remember why it was good to be naive.

earlofgrey March 16 2006, 05:49:41 UTC

It was time for them to go. If I am ever to be dictator, I must destroy all evidence of weakness.

robinelaine March 16 2006, 07:36:01 UTC

And if Nixon taught us anything, it is that self-preservation can depend upon not preserving too much evidence about ourselves.

lsaboe March 20 2006, 13:13:00 UTC

how i understand this compulsion NOT to own things; to destroy the old, worn, used up, unnecessary things that clutter and strangle. bleh. i have been known to throw out perfectly good furniture because it was in my way and offended my eye. i am uncomfortable owning all this stuff. i am worried about it. what if i have to split fast? i OWN this shit. with ownership comes responsibility. plus there's the imprint of me on all this shit and with that cords that bind me to it. to IT! lots of ITS. they can find me by my its. argh.
no one understands this.
when i come to hate a painting, i slash it. i keep the stretcher boards to use again later, but i slash the canvas. rip it to shreds and bundle it up. sometimes i keep certain shreds if the color is right, but usually i just trash them. i'd prefer to burn them but i don't have a fireplace and i worry about toxins in the air.
no one understands this either.

earlofgrey March 21 2006, 06:19:30 UTC

It is strange, sometimes, to be cutting back and cutting back while everyone else just seems to keep on accumulating things. I don't want to be the trash lady in Labyrinth.