[Fic] just like a candle
Title: just like a candle
Fandom: Marvel/Alice in Wonderland
Characters: Danny Rand, Orson Randall, Dark Avengers (Noh-Varr, Daken, Karla Sofen, Norman Osborn, Bob Reynolds), Matt Murdock. Danny Rand/Matt Murdock flavoured.
Word Count: ~5000
Summary: In which Danny Rand Alice finds himself in a strange place and has himself an adventure.
AN: It's been quite a journey getting this finished! If you can identify the reason for the title without looking it up, I will be very impressed. Also, thanks to
megalomaniac2 for the help!
'Well, it's no use your talking about waking him when you're only one of the things in his dream.
You know very well you're not real.' -- Tweedledum
“Are you Alice?”
“What?”
He groaned as he came to, wiping at his eyes to get the bleariness out of them. The rabbit just cocked its head at him, imperiously.
“I said, are you Alice?” It bounced from foot to foot as it talked, obviously impatient. “I need to know, you know, and knowing who you are is something you know because everyone knows that, don’t they?”
“Oh...” The sudden realisation that he couldn’t remember his name should have be more traumatising, but for some reason, it wasn’t. He could remember something about a D, or maybe an I? But- “I suppose Alice is as good a name as any.”
“Well if you're Alice, then you must come with me to tea!”
Before Alice could protest, the Rabbit (for this was a Rabbit, rather than a simple rabbit) had bounded off into the bushes, out of sight. Frantically, Alice tried to follow, but the brush was thick and confusingly twisted. Within moments he found himself to be quite lost indeed.
“All I can do is keep walking, I guess,” he murmured to himself, “so that is what I will do.”
He wasn’t sure which direction to walk in, but a wisp of smoke was rising in the distance, so that way seemed as good as any.
==
Eventually, he came upon a smoky clearing. In the middle of the haze sat a large, chubby mushroom, upon which was seated an olive-green Caterpillar, smoking a hookah. The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other, caught in a silent stand-off. Finally, the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed Alice in a gruff, unimpressed way.
“And who’re you?”, it asked, smoke wafting out of his mouth as it spoke. This wasn't an encouraging way to start a conversation, and Alice found himself at a loss.
“I’m not really sure, actually. I think I knew at one point, but I don’t anymore.”
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Obviously unsatisfied, the Caterpillar waved its pipe around, cutting through the foggy trails of smoke with its hand. “Speak plainly, boy.”
Alice looked down at his feet and shrugged, embarrassed.
“I’d like to, but I really can’t. I can’t remember a lot and I’m also more than a little confused. It’s been a weird day today.”
“Maybe for you.”
“I guess it hasn’t been for you yet,” Alice crossed his arms over his chest and frowns, “But when you turn into a cocoon, and then into a butterfly, you’ll have a hard time too.”
“Heh. I’m never going to be a butterfly, kid. Wings are for people who were meant to fly.” The caterpillar shrugged and added, “I’m also not nearly as lost as you. For one, I know my own name.”
“I have a name!”
“Oh really?”
“Well, sort of.” After toeing at the ground self-consciously, he added, “People call me Alice. So I guess that’s me.”
“And who are you?”
“You already asked me that!” Alice drew himself up, truly irritated now at the Caterpillar’s short remarks. “Why don’t you tell me who you are first?”
Smirking, the Caterpillar puffed out a smoke ring. “Don’t see any reason to, kid. Do you?”
“I don’t see anything at all, and I think I’d rather not see you either!”
With that, Alice turned away, ready to storm off into the forest.
“Get your ass back here!”, the Caterpillar shouted after him impatiently. “I’ve got something important to say!”
That sounded threatening, but also promising, so Alice paused for a moment, then came back again.
“What?”
“Don’t get pissy, I’m going.” The Caterpillar took a deep breath, then sat quietly.
After holding his temper as long as he could, Alice frowned. “Well? Is that all you’ve got to say?”
“No.”
But the Caterpillar kept sitting there in silence and Alice had to swallow down his anger in order to keep from hitting it in the face. Finally, it unfolded its arms and puffed out a long smoky breath.
“So you’re lost, are you? Can’t remember who you used to be?”
“No. Well, yes and no.”
“You have to choose one, because you can’t be both.”
“I guess the answer is yes, then.”
There was silence again for a long moment. The Caterpillar cleared its throat, looking somewhat awkward.
“Well, you certainly got yourself into a mess there, kiddo. Better start walking forward, ‘cause you sure can’t go back.”
“Why not?”
“Whichever way you walk’s forward, ain’t it? Just don’t go looking back. Nothing good ever comes of that.”
Alice had no argument for that and, even if he did, the Caterpillar had patted his head and puffed out one last time before disappearing into the smoke. Whirling and lost, Alice turned for what seemed like ages before he could see again. By the time he could, he was somewhere else in the forest and the Caterpillar had vanished.
==
“Lost, are you?”
The voice, which seemed to echo from nowhere and everywhere at once, took Alice by surprise.
“Who was that?”, she cried, turning her head about to catch a glimpse of the mysterious stranger.
“When looking for someone who isn’t there,” drawled the voice, “it is generally considered a good idea to look up as well as side to side.”
Alice immediately looked into the branches overhead and blinked when he met the eyes and the wide, white grin, of a large Cat. It looked rather good-natured, but as it possessed such long claws and was displaying a great many teeth, he made an effort to be respectful
“Ah, hello there?”
“Greetings,” purred the Cat, “and where might you be going? Or attempting to go, rather, since you appear to be going nowhere at all at the moment.”
“I’m not sure,” said Alice, but then a thought occurred to him. “I think the Rabbit before mentioned something about a tea party?”
“Ah.” The Cat nodded sagely and waved a paw. “You might try going THIS way to find the Hare. Then again, you could go THAT way and see the Hatter instead. Either way, they’re both quite mad, but you’ll get yourself some tea.”
Alice scuffed at the ground with the toe of his shoe and asked the Cat, “Are there any other tea parties around? Only I don’t particularly want to go among mad people if I can help it.”
The Cat laughed and leaned in, its grin gleaming in the dim light of the forest. “Oh, but we’re all mad here, Alice. Haven’t you realized that?”
With that, it vanished. Alice would have been surprised, but he was getting used to strange things happening. With a shrug and a sigh, he started walking.
“By the way, whatever reason do you have to be going to a tea party, anyway? You aren’t really dressed for it.”, said the Cat, who had reappeared on another branch just a little way down the path.
“I don’t have any reason, except that it seems like I should go because I was invited.”, said Alice as he looked down at his clothing. “Is this really unsuited to tea? After all, a suit can’t be unsuited to anything, can it?”
“I suppose that’s true,” said the Cat. It licked a long claw nonchalantly, then glanced at Alice again. “That’s very true indeed. Granted, white isn’t a very interesting, but not everyone can be as stylish as me. After all, I am a cat.”
When the Cat vanished this time, it did so very slowly, fading out from its tail to its head and leaving behind nothing but its grin, which spoke once before it vanished as well.
“If you do come to tea, you’ll see me there. Do try not to be late.”
Alice waited a little, in case the Cat decided to return once more, but apparently it truly had left this time.
Luckily enough, the Rabbit chose that moment to peek through the branches.
“There you are! Don’t wander off like that! We’re even later than before!”
Before Alice could protest that it had, in fact, been the Rabbit who had wandered off, the Rabbit had taken his hand and started racing down the crooked path through the trees.
“But-! Where are we going?”
“To tea!”
“Why do we need tea?”
They turned a corner and were moving much faster than they ought to have been. Alice took no note of that, however, as he was much more concentrated on listening to the Rabbit’s annoyed tsking.
“We don’t need tea, but we must be at tea or the Hatter shall be quite cross. And I daresay that a cross Hatter is a Hatter who no one wants to deal with.”
That didn’t really clear much up about the situation, but Alice decided that the Rabbit obviously wasn’t very good at explaining things, so he decided to wait and see what was to happen.
He started to regret that decision when they reached the tea party.
==
They soon arrived at a large clearing at the edge of the forest. A long table sat on the grassy green, covered in tea sets of all shapes and sizes. The serving dishes held only crumbs and the tea pots were empty, but the guests didn’t seem to care, sipping at their cups as if they were full.
“Rabbit! You’ve come at last!” The March Hare smiled excitedly, bouncing in her chair as she waved him over. Her grin widened as she noticed Alice. “And you’ve brought us a guest as well. Here, you can sit beside me, Rabbit, and your friend can sit in my lap. Wouldn’t you like that, sweetie?”
Alice was very sure that he didn’t want to sit with the Hare, for she was wearing too little clothing and too much smile for his comfort.
“I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.”
The Hare’s face twisted into a horrible frown for barely a moment, then smoothed out into cool congeniality once more. She flicked her scarf over her shoulder and tipped her nose up even as she put on a most insincere smile.
“Well, I suppose I don’t. Either way, it’s a good thing you don’t wish to join us, since we haven’t any room.”
While her words were welcoming, her tone of voice was not. The Cat, who had appeared at her elbow, snorted. “No room? But we’ve such a very long table.”
The Hare glared at the Cat, who paused, then coughed. “Oh but of course, Rabbit, I had forgotten. We need that space for your fantastically large bottom.”
“Oh shut up, Cheshire.”
“But Hare, you’re just too easy... in more ways than one.”
The Hare had no response to that, so she whirled away from the Cat to scowl once more at Alice. “Eavesdropping is a repugnant habit. Do away. We’ve no room and you seem to have outstayed your welcome.”
“But there’s plenty of room here!”, said Alice and, truly there were plenty of empty chairs around the table, so he sat himself down in one just to prove his point.
“Oh what a dear you are.” The March Hare patted Alice’s head in an encouraging way. “Do have some wine.”
Alice looked around at the table, confused.
“There isn’t any?”
“Oh, of course not! How rude of me to offer.” And the Hare grinned slyly, “Just as rude as you were to sit yourself down without being invited.”
The man at the head (or was that the foot?) of the table cut in then, before Alice could reply. He had been contemplating for the longest time, but hadn’t spoken up until now. “Now, now, Hare, there’s not need to drive our new friend away. She’s quite an interesting girl.”
“I’m not a girl!”, cried Alice, for he wasn’t.
The man grinned, tipping his head so that his eyes were hidden beneath the broad brim of his hood. Alice fancied that his teeth seemed much sharper than they should have been. “Really now? My mistake, then.”
With that, he rose from his chair and leaned over the table to take Alice’s hand. “I do hope you can forgive me.”
“Ah... I guess it was an easy mistake. We haven’t met before, after all.”
“And how like the Mad Hatter to skip the introductions and cut straight to the insults,” quipped the Cat. He dangled his teacup from a claw as he aimed a rakish smile in Alice’s direction. “He’s usually like this, I’m afraid. Come sit by me if you’d like. I’m a much better table-mate.”
Annoyed, the Hatter swept his teacup over the table, splattering hot tea on the Dormouse sleeping to his right. “That’s enough of that”, he said, and as the Dormouse spluttered, the Hatter casually pushed it out of its chair with his boot, then dusted the seat off with a grand sweep of his purple cloak.
“If it pleases your fancy, do come sit with me, my dear.”
It was quite impolite to decline a seat offered in such a manner, but Alice still wasn’t sure if he wanted to accept the Hatter’s invitation.
“I don’t think it does, sir. Suit me, I mean. I’m quite fine where I am.”
"Ah, but you would be much more fine with me, I assure you," the Hatter said jovially in a way that made Alice feel not very jovial at all. "Please, sit!"
Alice was beginning to think that he should have let the Rabbit be and sat by the Cat, but it was too late now. The Hatter was the host, and it simply wouldn't do to be rude to him at his tea party, so Alice smiled, nodded, and slowly sat in the proffered chair. Besides, Alice reasoned, it was about time that he did something here that didn’t get anyone angry at him.
"Splendid!", cried the Hatter, and there were those too-sharp teeth again, much easier to see now that Alice was so much closer to them. "And now to truly begin the party! Dormouse! We need entertainment!" The poor Dormouse had just finished hauling itself back into its chair, golden fur quite stained by its dose in scalding tea, when the Hatter's boot thumped into it again and knocked it to its feet. "You wouldn't guess it to look at him, but the Dormouse is something of a poet. Dormouse! Tell us something for the lady, and make it good!" The Hatter laughed and emphasized his orders with yet another boot.
There was a sudden clarity in the Dormouse's eyes that Alice liked even less than the Hatter's teeth as it stood upright, dripping wounded dignity and tea, and began to speak. "Well then. I shall tell you a story that you will never forget." He took a deep breath, and began-
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice hadn't the slightest idea what he was saying, but everyone else seemed enthralled. They didn't appear to notice how the Dormouse's face was changing as he spoke, how his teeth were bared and his eyes were widening and his voice was booming and was his fur darkening? Alice believed it was.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite,- and suddenly the Dormouse's mouth was bulging with fangs- the claws that catch! -and out came the claws, long and wicked and gleaming-
"Oh!" Cried the Hatter happily, clapping his hands and rocking back in his chair as the creature loomed over him. "This is performance poetry! How grand! Such a convincing impression of a Jabberwock! Keep it up, Dormouse!" And he kicked at the shadowy leg that was now taller than he was.
It was at this time that Alice decided that he had better excuse himself from this party, so he stood and thanked his hosts for the tea, then turned to go. As he exited the clearing, there was a sudden roar behind him and an outburst of screams. Alice picked up his pace, and by the time he heard the Rabbit’s voice saying 'oh dear oh dear oh dear' over and over again, he was running. With his eyes up in the air, keeping watch for anything that might come from above, Alice didn’t notice the end of the road. He fell-
==
“Oh dear!”
“This won’t do at all!”
Alice knew that he recognized the voices floating by, but it hurt to try to open his eyes, so he lay
“I’ll say! The Queen will be positively furious to find that lying there!”
A Queen?
“Just get it out of the way before the croquet game starts!”
“Yes, yes, of course! - Alice?”
Alice opened his eyes as he felt himself being shaken.
“Rabbit?”
“Shh, we’re taking you out of the way of the Queen’s croquet.”, said the Rabbit, who looked rather rumpled for once.
“The Queen will want to meet you later, of course, because the Queen knows everything that goes on in the castle, but it wouldn’t do to have you hit in the head with a hedgehog.”
“Of course,” said Alice, even though he had absolutely no idea what was going on. After all, the Rabbit seemed to know, and that was quite good enough for Alice, who let himself be led away from the grassy field and into the castle that loomed ahead. The Rabbit hadn’t led him astray so far, after all.
==
“All bow before the majesty of the Queen of Hearts!”
Horns blew and cymbals crashed as the Queen stepped up to the throne, a vision of long lines and sharp edges wrapped in lace and satin. It should have been impressive, but Alice couldn’t help but blurt out the first question that came to mind.
“Shouldn’t you be called the King of Hearts?”
“King?” The Queen frowned. “Why would I be King?”
“Well you’re a man aren’t you? Men can’t be Queens can they?” Alice scratched at his head with a lost little smile on his face. “At least, I didn’t think they could.”
Something about his expression must have appeased the Queen’s annoyance, because he shrugged and smiled coolly.
“There simply haven’t been any men before me who were good enough to be Queen. That’s why they had to be Kings.”
Alice blinked once, twice, then ducked his head and smiled to cover his confusion.
“Oh, well, I guess that makes sense?”
“Of course it does. I said so.”
At that, the Queen fingered the handle of his sceptre for a moment, before nodding decisively.
“I like you.” He clapped his hands to dismiss his court, then glided off his throne and out a door to the side, calling, “Come join me in the Garden.”
Alice followed him partly out of curiosity, but mostly because one didn’t disobey the orders of a Queen. That simply wasn’t how these things worked.
The Garden itself was quite beautiful. Red roses were planted all around near the castle, although white blooms also speckled the hedges, seemingly at random. They all smelled quite sweet, though, and Alice stood a moment in the doorway to take in the sights. He cocked his head in confusion, though, when he noticed the Queen’s posture. Despite the Garden’s elegance, the Queen did not seem happy to be there.
It was queer, Alice though, that the Queen would ask him to come to a place that made him frown so. Distracted, he said as much.
Instead of being cross, the Queen shrugged and waved a hand. “I like being in my Garden,” he said. “It reminds me that nothing ever comes for free.”
Alice did not know what to make of that at all, and it must have showed on his face.
The Queen spun his sceptre in his hands. “This is the key to my power, Alice. It’s a symbol of my rule in Wonderland and it wasn’t at all easy to obtain. There are hardships that you bear to get power and then when you have it, there are even more sacrifices to make in order to keep it.”
He laughed, as if in response to some private joke, then added, “Ruling a nation is more than croquet parties and tea, after all.”
“How does a garden remind you of that, though?”, asked Alice, who was still very much confused. “There are a very many flowers here, but not much else.”
“Ah, a demonstration seems to be in order.” said the Queen. “I care for these roses. I nurture them, shelter them from the wind and the rain and water them in the head. I give them everything and anything they need, but given the slightest chance, see how sharply they prick!” He seized one by the stem with force, and Alice gasped to see the long thorns pierce the Queen’s skin. The Queen only smiled as blood trickled down his hand to drip onto the blooms below.
“These roses were all white once, but they never stay that way.” He said this to Alice, but truly, Alice suspected that the Queen wasn’t really talking to him until their gazes met again.
Alice began to see where the Queen was coming from with this, although he didn’t think he much cared for it. “And that teaches you?”
“If you want something, you have to be ready to pay for it in blood.” The Queen looked out at his roses again, seemingly lost in memory. “And no matter what you do or how you care, the wonderful things in life only ever hurt you in the end-hold this for me, will you?”
He passed his sceptre to Alice, then pulled a pair of long shears from somewhere hidden in the bushes and deftly snipped the long bloom from the hedge.
“So you have to hurt back.”
“But gentle hands aren’t pricked by thorns.”
The Queen snapped out of his reverie to stare at his companion. Alice’s hands cupped a perfectly white bloom.
“For you.”, said Alice, as he proffered it to the Queen with a quiet smile.
The Queen stared at the rose and a parade of emotions flickered over his face. Finally, he reached out and took the rose with gentle reverence, stroking its petals in his hands.
“Thank you.”
Before either of them could say more, the Rabbit bounded through the doors, looking even more rumpled than Alice had ever seen him.
“Your Majesty!”, he yelped, looking quite distraught.
“You’d best have a good reason for disturbing me, Rabbit!”, said the Queen, whirling in place to glare down at the Rabbit.
Cringing, the poor thing stuttered out something about a capture and the Queen’s stormy expression sharpened into a grin that put Alice in mind of snapping jaws and blood in the water.
“Ah. That is a good reason.”
==
The Queen stalked into his court like a panther prowling the jungle, sweeping over the floor with Alice and the Rabbit hurrying worriedly in his wake. Alice would have followed the Queen, but the Rabbit tugged him over to the side, a few steps to the right of the dias.
“What is going on, Rabbit?”, Alice whispered as the Queen stood and began speaking to the members of his court in decidedly formal language, looking regal despite the dark look on his face.
“You see the man on the floor?”, asked the Rabbit.
Alice turned his head and realized that the lump in the middle of the court was not a statue, but a kneeling man, swathed in black. Their eyes met for a moment, and Alice’s heart dropped out his stomach. Something was very strange about that man and about the entirety of this situation.
“I see him.”
The Rabbit sighed and twisted the chain of its pocket watch about as it spoke. “That is the Black Knight. He took the Queen’s Bishop a long time ago, and then he took the other, and His Majesty has never forgiven him for either loss.”
“Oh. So this is his trial?“, asked Alice. The Rabbit snorted and patted Alice’s shoulder.
“This isn’t a trial. This is a sentencing.”
“A sentencing?”
“Yes.” The Rabbit would have said more, but then the Knight spit at the Queen’s feet and a great roar rose from the crowd.
“If you find black spot amongst your roses, you don’t nurture it. You cut it out.”, said the Queen as he stood from his throne. He held his hand out to Alice as he finished speaking.
“Hand me my sword. I do believe I need it.”
Alice stared down at his hands, and suddenly realised that the Queen’s sceptre was more than a decoration. With a twist of his wrist, the handle came loose, unsheathing a long blade. The Queen cleared his throat expectantly.
“Alice?”
“What... what is this, Queen? What are you doing?”
Gently, as if speaking to a child, the Queen explained.
“I use my shears to trim my roses, Alice, but I find that using my sword is more efficient when I’m beheading people.” He beckoned once more. “Life is a garden, Alice, and not all of us have hands as gentle as yours. Now give me my sword.”
Even with the crowd cheering around them, even with the wild, uncomfortable leer on the Black Knight’s face, even with the Queen standing in front of him, Alice can’t move. Frozen, all he can think about is a Caterpillar’s wisdom and blood-spattered petals.
“No.”, he murmurs. The Queen leans in, confused.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said no!”, said Alice, finally sure of his decision. He changed his grip on the sword, grasping it at either end. “No one needs to die, especially not by being beheaded! It’s twisted and wrong and-“
The Queen’s eyes went wide as he realized what Alice was going to do.
“No. You can’t! They won’t be safe! I won’t be safe!”
“You aren’t safe now!”
The sceptre-sword shattered in Alice’s hands and the crowd dispersed, screaming, as the Queen of Hearts toppled to the floor in a cascade of red and shadow and his castle began to crumble around him.
Alice shouted in horror, diving forward to push the Queen out of the way of falling debris.
==
He wasn’t sure what happened next. Alice could remember darkness and fright and the horrible crash of the castle as it fell around them, but outside of that, nothing. One way or another, Alice was curled around the Queen for what seems like ages before he realized that he couldn’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears.
“Is it over?”
A soft groan escaped the Queen’s lips as he sat up.
“You saved me.”
“Well, I couldn’t just let the castle have you. That would have been sillier than a tea party lead by a goblin. But you didn’t answer my question.”
The Queen snorts and sits up, pulling Alice with him.
“You could open your eyes and see for yourself.”
“But then I’ll know if things have changed.”
“That’s the point.”
Alice bit his lip and kept his eyes firmly shut, leaning into the Queen’s shoulder as he deliberated.
“But if things have changed, then you’ll be different, and if they haven’t, then you’ll have stayed the same … but I don’t know which I want yet. Like this, I can pretend that both are true all at once.”
“After going through all that trouble to change me, I can’t imagine why you would want me to stay the same.”
“I liked you before, though.”
“Well, you’ll find that the only Cat around is of the Cheshire variety. The world keeps going even if you want to ignore its turning, so you’re better off waking up and dealing with it.” There was a pause as the Queen swallowed hard and, for a moment, Alice wonders if he had something caught in his throat. “Anyway, if you liked me before, you’ll probably like me after. I haven’t changed that much.”
“But you have. I can hear it.”
“Then shutting your eyes isn’t very useful, now is it?”
“I guess not.” , said Alice, and he opened his eyes with a little smile on his face. “But it was nice to dream.”
“Everyone has to wake up sometime.”
Alice’s heart dropped out the bottom of his stomach as he realized that those words were the beginning of the end. Even as the castle ruins started to fade out around them, his eyes were drawn to the Queen’s face, at his mouth, quirked up into a crooked grin, nothing like the Cheshire Cat’s. It isn’t nearly as elegant as the serene expression he’d worn before, but there’s a genuine feel to it that Alice can’t look away from.
“So... what do you think of me now, Alice?”
Alice could have said something, should have said something, but words are fickle creatures and he didn’t want to risk using the wrong ones. Instead, he tugged the Queen in and smeared his crimson lipstick down his chin with a kiss.
A soft gasp from the Queen, then warm hands at his shoulders and a whisper against his lips and Alice couldn’t quite make out the words because he was drowning, clawing, falling-
-jolting upright in bed. Danny gasps until he catches his breath, eyes wide as he stares around his room, suddenly restless. He peels himself out of his sweat-soaked sheets and pads over to the window, staring out at the night. From here, he can just barely make out the Shadowland banners whipping in the breeze.
==
Shameless plug: Jesse and I are starting up a post-apocalyptic RP called Extinguished. If you're interested, check it out?
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.
Fandom: Marvel/Alice in Wonderland
Characters: Danny Rand, Orson Randall, Dark Avengers (Noh-Varr, Daken, Karla Sofen, Norman Osborn, Bob Reynolds), Matt Murdock. Danny Rand/Matt Murdock flavoured.
Word Count: ~5000
Summary: In which Danny Rand Alice finds himself in a strange place and has himself an adventure.
AN: It's been quite a journey getting this finished! If you can identify the reason for the title without looking it up, I will be very impressed. Also, thanks to
megalomaniac2 for the help!
'Well, it's no use your talking about waking him when you're only one of the things in his dream.
You know very well you're not real.' -- Tweedledum
“Are you Alice?”
“What?”
He groaned as he came to, wiping at his eyes to get the bleariness out of them. The rabbit just cocked its head at him, imperiously.
“I said, are you Alice?” It bounced from foot to foot as it talked, obviously impatient. “I need to know, you know, and knowing who you are is something you know because everyone knows that, don’t they?”
“Oh...” The sudden realisation that he couldn’t remember his name should have be more traumatising, but for some reason, it wasn’t. He could remember something about a D, or maybe an I? But- “I suppose Alice is as good a name as any.”
“Well if you're Alice, then you must come with me to tea!”
Before Alice could protest, the Rabbit (for this was a Rabbit, rather than a simple rabbit) had bounded off into the bushes, out of sight. Frantically, Alice tried to follow, but the brush was thick and confusingly twisted. Within moments he found himself to be quite lost indeed.
“All I can do is keep walking, I guess,” he murmured to himself, “so that is what I will do.”
He wasn’t sure which direction to walk in, but a wisp of smoke was rising in the distance, so that way seemed as good as any.
==
Eventually, he came upon a smoky clearing. In the middle of the haze sat a large, chubby mushroom, upon which was seated an olive-green Caterpillar, smoking a hookah. The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other, caught in a silent stand-off. Finally, the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed Alice in a gruff, unimpressed way.
“And who’re you?”, it asked, smoke wafting out of his mouth as it spoke. This wasn't an encouraging way to start a conversation, and Alice found himself at a loss.
“I’m not really sure, actually. I think I knew at one point, but I don’t anymore.”
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Obviously unsatisfied, the Caterpillar waved its pipe around, cutting through the foggy trails of smoke with its hand. “Speak plainly, boy.”
Alice looked down at his feet and shrugged, embarrassed.
“I’d like to, but I really can’t. I can’t remember a lot and I’m also more than a little confused. It’s been a weird day today.”
“Maybe for you.”
“I guess it hasn’t been for you yet,” Alice crossed his arms over his chest and frowns, “But when you turn into a cocoon, and then into a butterfly, you’ll have a hard time too.”
“Heh. I’m never going to be a butterfly, kid. Wings are for people who were meant to fly.” The caterpillar shrugged and added, “I’m also not nearly as lost as you. For one, I know my own name.”
“I have a name!”
“Oh really?”
“Well, sort of.” After toeing at the ground self-consciously, he added, “People call me Alice. So I guess that’s me.”
“And who are you?”
“You already asked me that!” Alice drew himself up, truly irritated now at the Caterpillar’s short remarks. “Why don’t you tell me who you are first?”
Smirking, the Caterpillar puffed out a smoke ring. “Don’t see any reason to, kid. Do you?”
“I don’t see anything at all, and I think I’d rather not see you either!”
With that, Alice turned away, ready to storm off into the forest.
“Get your ass back here!”, the Caterpillar shouted after him impatiently. “I’ve got something important to say!”
That sounded threatening, but also promising, so Alice paused for a moment, then came back again.
“What?”
“Don’t get pissy, I’m going.” The Caterpillar took a deep breath, then sat quietly.
After holding his temper as long as he could, Alice frowned. “Well? Is that all you’ve got to say?”
“No.”
But the Caterpillar kept sitting there in silence and Alice had to swallow down his anger in order to keep from hitting it in the face. Finally, it unfolded its arms and puffed out a long smoky breath.
“So you’re lost, are you? Can’t remember who you used to be?”
“No. Well, yes and no.”
“You have to choose one, because you can’t be both.”
“I guess the answer is yes, then.”
There was silence again for a long moment. The Caterpillar cleared its throat, looking somewhat awkward.
“Well, you certainly got yourself into a mess there, kiddo. Better start walking forward, ‘cause you sure can’t go back.”
“Why not?”
“Whichever way you walk’s forward, ain’t it? Just don’t go looking back. Nothing good ever comes of that.”
Alice had no argument for that and, even if he did, the Caterpillar had patted his head and puffed out one last time before disappearing into the smoke. Whirling and lost, Alice turned for what seemed like ages before he could see again. By the time he could, he was somewhere else in the forest and the Caterpillar had vanished.
==
“Lost, are you?”
The voice, which seemed to echo from nowhere and everywhere at once, took Alice by surprise.
“Who was that?”, she cried, turning her head about to catch a glimpse of the mysterious stranger.
“When looking for someone who isn’t there,” drawled the voice, “it is generally considered a good idea to look up as well as side to side.”
Alice immediately looked into the branches overhead and blinked when he met the eyes and the wide, white grin, of a large Cat. It looked rather good-natured, but as it possessed such long claws and was displaying a great many teeth, he made an effort to be respectful
“Ah, hello there?”
“Greetings,” purred the Cat, “and where might you be going? Or attempting to go, rather, since you appear to be going nowhere at all at the moment.”
“I’m not sure,” said Alice, but then a thought occurred to him. “I think the Rabbit before mentioned something about a tea party?”
“Ah.” The Cat nodded sagely and waved a paw. “You might try going THIS way to find the Hare. Then again, you could go THAT way and see the Hatter instead. Either way, they’re both quite mad, but you’ll get yourself some tea.”
Alice scuffed at the ground with the toe of his shoe and asked the Cat, “Are there any other tea parties around? Only I don’t particularly want to go among mad people if I can help it.”
The Cat laughed and leaned in, its grin gleaming in the dim light of the forest. “Oh, but we’re all mad here, Alice. Haven’t you realized that?”
With that, it vanished. Alice would have been surprised, but he was getting used to strange things happening. With a shrug and a sigh, he started walking.
“By the way, whatever reason do you have to be going to a tea party, anyway? You aren’t really dressed for it.”, said the Cat, who had reappeared on another branch just a little way down the path.
“I don’t have any reason, except that it seems like I should go because I was invited.”, said Alice as he looked down at his clothing. “Is this really unsuited to tea? After all, a suit can’t be unsuited to anything, can it?”
“I suppose that’s true,” said the Cat. It licked a long claw nonchalantly, then glanced at Alice again. “That’s very true indeed. Granted, white isn’t a very interesting, but not everyone can be as stylish as me. After all, I am a cat.”
When the Cat vanished this time, it did so very slowly, fading out from its tail to its head and leaving behind nothing but its grin, which spoke once before it vanished as well.
“If you do come to tea, you’ll see me there. Do try not to be late.”
Alice waited a little, in case the Cat decided to return once more, but apparently it truly had left this time.
Luckily enough, the Rabbit chose that moment to peek through the branches.
“There you are! Don’t wander off like that! We’re even later than before!”
Before Alice could protest that it had, in fact, been the Rabbit who had wandered off, the Rabbit had taken his hand and started racing down the crooked path through the trees.
“But-! Where are we going?”
“To tea!”
“Why do we need tea?”
They turned a corner and were moving much faster than they ought to have been. Alice took no note of that, however, as he was much more concentrated on listening to the Rabbit’s annoyed tsking.
“We don’t need tea, but we must be at tea or the Hatter shall be quite cross. And I daresay that a cross Hatter is a Hatter who no one wants to deal with.”
That didn’t really clear much up about the situation, but Alice decided that the Rabbit obviously wasn’t very good at explaining things, so he decided to wait and see what was to happen.
He started to regret that decision when they reached the tea party.
==
They soon arrived at a large clearing at the edge of the forest. A long table sat on the grassy green, covered in tea sets of all shapes and sizes. The serving dishes held only crumbs and the tea pots were empty, but the guests didn’t seem to care, sipping at their cups as if they were full.
“Rabbit! You’ve come at last!” The March Hare smiled excitedly, bouncing in her chair as she waved him over. Her grin widened as she noticed Alice. “And you’ve brought us a guest as well. Here, you can sit beside me, Rabbit, and your friend can sit in my lap. Wouldn’t you like that, sweetie?”
Alice was very sure that he didn’t want to sit with the Hare, for she was wearing too little clothing and too much smile for his comfort.
“I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.”
The Hare’s face twisted into a horrible frown for barely a moment, then smoothed out into cool congeniality once more. She flicked her scarf over her shoulder and tipped her nose up even as she put on a most insincere smile.
“Well, I suppose I don’t. Either way, it’s a good thing you don’t wish to join us, since we haven’t any room.”
While her words were welcoming, her tone of voice was not. The Cat, who had appeared at her elbow, snorted. “No room? But we’ve such a very long table.”
The Hare glared at the Cat, who paused, then coughed. “Oh but of course, Rabbit, I had forgotten. We need that space for your fantastically large bottom.”
“Oh shut up, Cheshire.”
“But Hare, you’re just too easy... in more ways than one.”
The Hare had no response to that, so she whirled away from the Cat to scowl once more at Alice. “Eavesdropping is a repugnant habit. Do away. We’ve no room and you seem to have outstayed your welcome.”
“But there’s plenty of room here!”, said Alice and, truly there were plenty of empty chairs around the table, so he sat himself down in one just to prove his point.
“Oh what a dear you are.” The March Hare patted Alice’s head in an encouraging way. “Do have some wine.”
Alice looked around at the table, confused.
“There isn’t any?”
“Oh, of course not! How rude of me to offer.” And the Hare grinned slyly, “Just as rude as you were to sit yourself down without being invited.”
The man at the head (or was that the foot?) of the table cut in then, before Alice could reply. He had been contemplating for the longest time, but hadn’t spoken up until now. “Now, now, Hare, there’s not need to drive our new friend away. She’s quite an interesting girl.”
“I’m not a girl!”, cried Alice, for he wasn’t.
The man grinned, tipping his head so that his eyes were hidden beneath the broad brim of his hood. Alice fancied that his teeth seemed much sharper than they should have been. “Really now? My mistake, then.”
With that, he rose from his chair and leaned over the table to take Alice’s hand. “I do hope you can forgive me.”
“Ah... I guess it was an easy mistake. We haven’t met before, after all.”
“And how like the Mad Hatter to skip the introductions and cut straight to the insults,” quipped the Cat. He dangled his teacup from a claw as he aimed a rakish smile in Alice’s direction. “He’s usually like this, I’m afraid. Come sit by me if you’d like. I’m a much better table-mate.”
Annoyed, the Hatter swept his teacup over the table, splattering hot tea on the Dormouse sleeping to his right. “That’s enough of that”, he said, and as the Dormouse spluttered, the Hatter casually pushed it out of its chair with his boot, then dusted the seat off with a grand sweep of his purple cloak.
“If it pleases your fancy, do come sit with me, my dear.”
It was quite impolite to decline a seat offered in such a manner, but Alice still wasn’t sure if he wanted to accept the Hatter’s invitation.
“I don’t think it does, sir. Suit me, I mean. I’m quite fine where I am.”
"Ah, but you would be much more fine with me, I assure you," the Hatter said jovially in a way that made Alice feel not very jovial at all. "Please, sit!"
Alice was beginning to think that he should have let the Rabbit be and sat by the Cat, but it was too late now. The Hatter was the host, and it simply wouldn't do to be rude to him at his tea party, so Alice smiled, nodded, and slowly sat in the proffered chair. Besides, Alice reasoned, it was about time that he did something here that didn’t get anyone angry at him.
"Splendid!", cried the Hatter, and there were those too-sharp teeth again, much easier to see now that Alice was so much closer to them. "And now to truly begin the party! Dormouse! We need entertainment!" The poor Dormouse had just finished hauling itself back into its chair, golden fur quite stained by its dose in scalding tea, when the Hatter's boot thumped into it again and knocked it to its feet. "You wouldn't guess it to look at him, but the Dormouse is something of a poet. Dormouse! Tell us something for the lady, and make it good!" The Hatter laughed and emphasized his orders with yet another boot.
There was a sudden clarity in the Dormouse's eyes that Alice liked even less than the Hatter's teeth as it stood upright, dripping wounded dignity and tea, and began to speak. "Well then. I shall tell you a story that you will never forget." He took a deep breath, and began-
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice hadn't the slightest idea what he was saying, but everyone else seemed enthralled. They didn't appear to notice how the Dormouse's face was changing as he spoke, how his teeth were bared and his eyes were widening and his voice was booming and was his fur darkening? Alice believed it was.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite,- and suddenly the Dormouse's mouth was bulging with fangs- the claws that catch! -and out came the claws, long and wicked and gleaming-
"Oh!" Cried the Hatter happily, clapping his hands and rocking back in his chair as the creature loomed over him. "This is performance poetry! How grand! Such a convincing impression of a Jabberwock! Keep it up, Dormouse!" And he kicked at the shadowy leg that was now taller than he was.
It was at this time that Alice decided that he had better excuse himself from this party, so he stood and thanked his hosts for the tea, then turned to go. As he exited the clearing, there was a sudden roar behind him and an outburst of screams. Alice picked up his pace, and by the time he heard the Rabbit’s voice saying 'oh dear oh dear oh dear' over and over again, he was running. With his eyes up in the air, keeping watch for anything that might come from above, Alice didn’t notice the end of the road. He fell-
==
“Oh dear!”
“This won’t do at all!”
Alice knew that he recognized the voices floating by, but it hurt to try to open his eyes, so he lay
“I’ll say! The Queen will be positively furious to find that lying there!”
A Queen?
“Just get it out of the way before the croquet game starts!”
“Yes, yes, of course! - Alice?”
Alice opened his eyes as he felt himself being shaken.
“Rabbit?”
“Shh, we’re taking you out of the way of the Queen’s croquet.”, said the Rabbit, who looked rather rumpled for once.
“The Queen will want to meet you later, of course, because the Queen knows everything that goes on in the castle, but it wouldn’t do to have you hit in the head with a hedgehog.”
“Of course,” said Alice, even though he had absolutely no idea what was going on. After all, the Rabbit seemed to know, and that was quite good enough for Alice, who let himself be led away from the grassy field and into the castle that loomed ahead. The Rabbit hadn’t led him astray so far, after all.
==
“All bow before the majesty of the Queen of Hearts!”
Horns blew and cymbals crashed as the Queen stepped up to the throne, a vision of long lines and sharp edges wrapped in lace and satin. It should have been impressive, but Alice couldn’t help but blurt out the first question that came to mind.
“Shouldn’t you be called the King of Hearts?”
“King?” The Queen frowned. “Why would I be King?”
“Well you’re a man aren’t you? Men can’t be Queens can they?” Alice scratched at his head with a lost little smile on his face. “At least, I didn’t think they could.”
Something about his expression must have appeased the Queen’s annoyance, because he shrugged and smiled coolly.
“There simply haven’t been any men before me who were good enough to be Queen. That’s why they had to be Kings.”
Alice blinked once, twice, then ducked his head and smiled to cover his confusion.
“Oh, well, I guess that makes sense?”
“Of course it does. I said so.”
At that, the Queen fingered the handle of his sceptre for a moment, before nodding decisively.
“I like you.” He clapped his hands to dismiss his court, then glided off his throne and out a door to the side, calling, “Come join me in the Garden.”
Alice followed him partly out of curiosity, but mostly because one didn’t disobey the orders of a Queen. That simply wasn’t how these things worked.
The Garden itself was quite beautiful. Red roses were planted all around near the castle, although white blooms also speckled the hedges, seemingly at random. They all smelled quite sweet, though, and Alice stood a moment in the doorway to take in the sights. He cocked his head in confusion, though, when he noticed the Queen’s posture. Despite the Garden’s elegance, the Queen did not seem happy to be there.
It was queer, Alice though, that the Queen would ask him to come to a place that made him frown so. Distracted, he said as much.
Instead of being cross, the Queen shrugged and waved a hand. “I like being in my Garden,” he said. “It reminds me that nothing ever comes for free.”
Alice did not know what to make of that at all, and it must have showed on his face.
The Queen spun his sceptre in his hands. “This is the key to my power, Alice. It’s a symbol of my rule in Wonderland and it wasn’t at all easy to obtain. There are hardships that you bear to get power and then when you have it, there are even more sacrifices to make in order to keep it.”
He laughed, as if in response to some private joke, then added, “Ruling a nation is more than croquet parties and tea, after all.”
“How does a garden remind you of that, though?”, asked Alice, who was still very much confused. “There are a very many flowers here, but not much else.”
“Ah, a demonstration seems to be in order.” said the Queen. “I care for these roses. I nurture them, shelter them from the wind and the rain and water them in the head. I give them everything and anything they need, but given the slightest chance, see how sharply they prick!” He seized one by the stem with force, and Alice gasped to see the long thorns pierce the Queen’s skin. The Queen only smiled as blood trickled down his hand to drip onto the blooms below.
“These roses were all white once, but they never stay that way.” He said this to Alice, but truly, Alice suspected that the Queen wasn’t really talking to him until their gazes met again.
Alice began to see where the Queen was coming from with this, although he didn’t think he much cared for it. “And that teaches you?”
“If you want something, you have to be ready to pay for it in blood.” The Queen looked out at his roses again, seemingly lost in memory. “And no matter what you do or how you care, the wonderful things in life only ever hurt you in the end-hold this for me, will you?”
He passed his sceptre to Alice, then pulled a pair of long shears from somewhere hidden in the bushes and deftly snipped the long bloom from the hedge.
“So you have to hurt back.”
“But gentle hands aren’t pricked by thorns.”
The Queen snapped out of his reverie to stare at his companion. Alice’s hands cupped a perfectly white bloom.
“For you.”, said Alice, as he proffered it to the Queen with a quiet smile.
The Queen stared at the rose and a parade of emotions flickered over his face. Finally, he reached out and took the rose with gentle reverence, stroking its petals in his hands.
“Thank you.”
Before either of them could say more, the Rabbit bounded through the doors, looking even more rumpled than Alice had ever seen him.
“Your Majesty!”, he yelped, looking quite distraught.
“You’d best have a good reason for disturbing me, Rabbit!”, said the Queen, whirling in place to glare down at the Rabbit.
Cringing, the poor thing stuttered out something about a capture and the Queen’s stormy expression sharpened into a grin that put Alice in mind of snapping jaws and blood in the water.
“Ah. That is a good reason.”
==
The Queen stalked into his court like a panther prowling the jungle, sweeping over the floor with Alice and the Rabbit hurrying worriedly in his wake. Alice would have followed the Queen, but the Rabbit tugged him over to the side, a few steps to the right of the dias.
“What is going on, Rabbit?”, Alice whispered as the Queen stood and began speaking to the members of his court in decidedly formal language, looking regal despite the dark look on his face.
“You see the man on the floor?”, asked the Rabbit.
Alice turned his head and realized that the lump in the middle of the court was not a statue, but a kneeling man, swathed in black. Their eyes met for a moment, and Alice’s heart dropped out his stomach. Something was very strange about that man and about the entirety of this situation.
“I see him.”
The Rabbit sighed and twisted the chain of its pocket watch about as it spoke. “That is the Black Knight. He took the Queen’s Bishop a long time ago, and then he took the other, and His Majesty has never forgiven him for either loss.”
“Oh. So this is his trial?“, asked Alice. The Rabbit snorted and patted Alice’s shoulder.
“This isn’t a trial. This is a sentencing.”
“A sentencing?”
“Yes.” The Rabbit would have said more, but then the Knight spit at the Queen’s feet and a great roar rose from the crowd.
“If you find black spot amongst your roses, you don’t nurture it. You cut it out.”, said the Queen as he stood from his throne. He held his hand out to Alice as he finished speaking.
“Hand me my sword. I do believe I need it.”
Alice stared down at his hands, and suddenly realised that the Queen’s sceptre was more than a decoration. With a twist of his wrist, the handle came loose, unsheathing a long blade. The Queen cleared his throat expectantly.
“Alice?”
“What... what is this, Queen? What are you doing?”
Gently, as if speaking to a child, the Queen explained.
“I use my shears to trim my roses, Alice, but I find that using my sword is more efficient when I’m beheading people.” He beckoned once more. “Life is a garden, Alice, and not all of us have hands as gentle as yours. Now give me my sword.”
Even with the crowd cheering around them, even with the wild, uncomfortable leer on the Black Knight’s face, even with the Queen standing in front of him, Alice can’t move. Frozen, all he can think about is a Caterpillar’s wisdom and blood-spattered petals.
“No.”, he murmurs. The Queen leans in, confused.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said no!”, said Alice, finally sure of his decision. He changed his grip on the sword, grasping it at either end. “No one needs to die, especially not by being beheaded! It’s twisted and wrong and-“
The Queen’s eyes went wide as he realized what Alice was going to do.
“No. You can’t! They won’t be safe! I won’t be safe!”
“You aren’t safe now!”
The sceptre-sword shattered in Alice’s hands and the crowd dispersed, screaming, as the Queen of Hearts toppled to the floor in a cascade of red and shadow and his castle began to crumble around him.
Alice shouted in horror, diving forward to push the Queen out of the way of falling debris.
==
He wasn’t sure what happened next. Alice could remember darkness and fright and the horrible crash of the castle as it fell around them, but outside of that, nothing. One way or another, Alice was curled around the Queen for what seems like ages before he realized that he couldn’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears.
“Is it over?”
A soft groan escaped the Queen’s lips as he sat up.
“You saved me.”
“Well, I couldn’t just let the castle have you. That would have been sillier than a tea party lead by a goblin. But you didn’t answer my question.”
The Queen snorts and sits up, pulling Alice with him.
“You could open your eyes and see for yourself.”
“But then I’ll know if things have changed.”
“That’s the point.”
Alice bit his lip and kept his eyes firmly shut, leaning into the Queen’s shoulder as he deliberated.
“But if things have changed, then you’ll be different, and if they haven’t, then you’ll have stayed the same … but I don’t know which I want yet. Like this, I can pretend that both are true all at once.”
“After going through all that trouble to change me, I can’t imagine why you would want me to stay the same.”
“I liked you before, though.”
“Well, you’ll find that the only Cat around is of the Cheshire variety. The world keeps going even if you want to ignore its turning, so you’re better off waking up and dealing with it.” There was a pause as the Queen swallowed hard and, for a moment, Alice wonders if he had something caught in his throat. “Anyway, if you liked me before, you’ll probably like me after. I haven’t changed that much.”
“But you have. I can hear it.”
“Then shutting your eyes isn’t very useful, now is it?”
“I guess not.” , said Alice, and he opened his eyes with a little smile on his face. “But it was nice to dream.”
“Everyone has to wake up sometime.”
Alice’s heart dropped out the bottom of his stomach as he realized that those words were the beginning of the end. Even as the castle ruins started to fade out around them, his eyes were drawn to the Queen’s face, at his mouth, quirked up into a crooked grin, nothing like the Cheshire Cat’s. It isn’t nearly as elegant as the serene expression he’d worn before, but there’s a genuine feel to it that Alice can’t look away from.
“So... what do you think of me now, Alice?”
Alice could have said something, should have said something, but words are fickle creatures and he didn’t want to risk using the wrong ones. Instead, he tugged the Queen in and smeared his crimson lipstick down his chin with a kiss.
A soft gasp from the Queen, then warm hands at his shoulders and a whisper against his lips and Alice couldn’t quite make out the words because he was drowning, clawing, falling-
-jolting upright in bed. Danny gasps until he catches his breath, eyes wide as he stares around his room, suddenly restless. He peels himself out of his sweat-soaked sheets and pads over to the window, staring out at the night. From here, he can just barely make out the Shadowland banners whipping in the breeze.
==
Shameless plug: Jesse and I are starting up a post-apocalyptic RP called Extinguished. If you're interested, check it out?
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth.