Can Anybody Find Me--? (2)
[part one]
Changmin starts with Yoochun, who he calls on the way to his meeting. He even tells his driver to roll up the partition so he can talk freely.
“I hate my life,” he says as soon as the other man answers. “I never asked for this. Why do I always get stuck with crazy people?”
“I don’t know what you’re implying,” Yoochun replies.
“I’m calling you a crazy bastard,” the younger man snorts.
Yoochun coughs out a laugh. “Wow, you’re in a snit, aren’t you?”
“It’s because I have a tumor. A tumor that wears too much eye-liner and calls me oppa like she’s thirteen, and I can’t get rid of her. ”
“Why don’t you call her that to her face? I’m sure she and her eye-liner would run like crazy.”
Changmin hangs his head. “I can’t. I can be mean but she just doesn’t get it. And when she does, I feel bad and do something stupid, like encourage her. God.”
“Maybe you deserve each other.”
“Don’t do that to me, Yoochun. I can’t take it.”
“Well, if you can’t talk to her, maybe show her you’re not interested? Like, start dating other people. Then maybe she’d get the hint?”
“I can’t do that. I’m busy and I don’t have time to meet other people, which is how this whole thing started. Besides, I’m not the type to play around. I’m not you,” Changmin points out.
Yoochun laughs again. “That doesn’t work anymore, dongsaeng. If you were me right now, you would be completely satisfied with your woman.”
“Your woman? Does Juri know you call her that? Because I’d like to hear what she has to say about it.”
“Bite me. Bring it up to her and I’ll give little-miss-stalker a copy of your key.”
“Don’t you dare!” Changmin cries. “She knows where I live and it’s bad enough. I don’t even know how she gets in every time. She must have connections, or something. I’m starting to suspect she was a saesang fan, too.”
“Sucks to be you,” Yoochun says. And then he hangs up before Changmin can verbally strange him or something.
Yoochun calls Junsu.
“What did you say to Changmin?” Is the first thing Junsu asks. “He calls me, says ‘you’re an asshole’, and then hangs up.”
Yoochun rolls his eyes. “I told him the truth. He’s whining about his girlfriend.”
“You called her his girlfriend? No wonder he’s pissed. Now he’s gonna take it out on me. He’ll call me every hour and say something mean just to make himself feel better. Last time my date picked up for me, and almost called the police because she thought it was a death-threat.”
“Oh, I remember that. Are you guys still…?”
“We haven’t talked in a while.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” and Yoochun can hear the verbal shrug. “But anyway, Changmin’s stalker - it’s karma. I kind of want to give her a hug. Have you met her?”
“No, I think only Jaejoong has.”
“Did he know about-”
“I think his girlfriend lied a bit, like, downplayed the crazy. Have you heard about-”
“Yeah, it’s totally creepy. Has she taken anything else? And, on second thought, I wouldn’t give her a hug. But I’d still like to meet her.”
“You won’t if Changmin can help it.”
“Tch, he’s such a brat.”
“And you already know that. You’ll live, baby,” he adds in English, because he knows Junsu likes the endearment.
They talk a little bit longer, before Yoochun’s lunch break ends and he has to go back into the studio. The company is gearing for all its spring come-backs and Yoochun is overloaded with work.
“It’s exhausting,” he says. “I’m not cut out for business. I just want to make music, but they keep giving me all this bureaucracy bullshit. That’s not what I signed on for.”
“Don’t let them walk over you. We did that once already. You’re Micky Yoochun, tell them that.”
Yoochun smiles humorlessly. “Yeah, maybe I will
“Yah, Micky Yoochun, hwaiting!”
“Hwaiting,” he replies softly. “Xiah Junsu, hwaiting.”
“You bet! I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later, baby.” And Yoochun sighs, and goes back to work.
Junsu’s phone rings an hour later.
“You’re short and your ass is too big,” Changmin says gleefully.
“I hate you!” Junsu says, but Changmin’s already hung up.
Junsu scowls and waits five minutes before calling someone to pout at.
Jaejoong is in Japan, busy promoting something-or-other, when he gets the call from Junsu. He’s more than happy to take a break and rest his Japanese.
But he still greets Junsu as “Jun-chan!” just to be annoying.
“Yah, don’t start that, Jaejunko,” Junsu says back.
“What’s up?” Jaejoong asks, picking up on Junsu’s sulky tone. He waves away his assistant and ignores the way the girl frowns and taps on her watch.
“Changmin’s going to go insane because of his stalker-girlfriend, and I want to meet her. And thank her for making his life miserable.”
Jaejoong chuckles. “You two will never quit, will you?”
“This is fifteen years in the making. I will not quit until he admits Kim Junsu is far superior.”
“Good luck with that.”
Junsu pauses as if searching for a response, only to sigh loudly. “…Yeah,” he admits.
Jaejoong laughs loudly and comforts Junsu as best he can. “Do you really want to meet her?” he asks later.
“Eh, not really. I’m kind of afraid. I don’t know how Changmin’s dealing with it.”
Jaejoong rolls his eyes. “Obviously not very well. He’s always complaining to me, and She’s not too happy about it.”
“Are you two fighting again?” Junsu asks.
Jaejoong hesitates. “I… don’t know. We don’t fight but it’s like… we can’t see things eye-to-eye anymore. I don’t think she understands.”
Junsu understands. He makes a comforting, humming sound, which Jaejoong listens to gratefully. The hum keeps going and Jaejoong picks up on the tune, an old ballad of theirs, and they sing a few lines back and forth, whatever comes to memory.
“Thanks, Jun-chan,” Jaejoong says softly.
“Any time, Jaejunko,” Junsu says brightly, the contrast chasing away the quiet air between them.
The older singer smiles fondly. “What about you? How are you and…. er, that one girl? The CF actress?”
“Fine,” Junsu says flippantly, and Jaejoong isn’t sure what that means, but doesn’t consider it too long as his assistant comes up again, telling him that they need to go now.
Jaejoong says goodbye, but promises to talk to him back soon. Junsu agrees, and adds “Oh, and you’ll call Yunho tonight, yah? Tell him to get the company to stop assigning Yoochun so much stuff, or to at least help him. He sounds overworked, and you know how he hates…”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll tell him first thing.”
Jaejoong catches Yunho right before he’s heading to dinner with his girlfriend. The ex-dancer takes one glance at the caller I.D. and gives his girlfriend a pleading look. She sighs. “Five minutes, but that’s it!”
He grins and answers, a cheery “Hi Jaejoong!” with a matching smile that disappears the longer Jaejoong talks. He hmms and uh-huhs, listening intently to the older man speak. His girlfriend looks curious but he just shakes his head and tells Jaejoong that he has to go, he was just on the way out, but he’ll work on it a.s.a.p.
“Something wrong?” She asks.
“Kind of. Let me call Yoochun real quick, okay? I swear it won’t take too long-”
She purses her lips and puts her hands on her hips. “Fine,” she says, but it’s in that short, clipped tone that anyone who’s ever the word knows it’s not really fine.
Changmin arrives home from his meeting around dusk, and throws off his coat with a flourish, only to have his cell phone ring and he has to go back and dig it out of his jacket pocket.
“Hello?”
“Stop calling Junsu, you’re being childish,” Jaejoong says.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Changmin agrees, but Jaejoong hangs up on him, too. He looks at his phone, grinning. “Well, damn.”
Yoochun is half-asleep when he answers the phone. “’ello?”
“Hey, Yoochun,” Yunho says quickly “Listen, how many songs are you working on right now?”
“Hnuh?” Yoochun asks, still not quite coherent. He’d been napping and beside him his girlfriend - who is also a great lover of naps, that amazing woman - stirs with a groan.
“Oh, did I wake you?”
“Mmm yah. But it’s okay. What were you saying?”
“No, it’s nothing, I just heard they’ve been giving you a lot of extra stuff at the studio. Thought I’d come in tomorrow to help.”
Yoochun blinks into the darkness of the room. “That’d be great, actually. Today was awful.”
“Of course. I’ll see you then, okay?”
Yoochun mutters something and hangs up, throwing the phone away from him and rolling back over with a sigh. Juri pokes her head out from underneath a pillow, squints at him and he rolls over onto her, squishing her until she squeaks.
Yunho kisses his girlfriend on the forehead and says, “See, that didn’t take too long.”
She rolls her eyes but lets him put his hand on the small of her back as he leads her out the door.
Junsu calls Jaejoong back, just to keep him company. He knows the oldest hates being alone in hotel rooms, and being in Japan, a whole country away, only makes it worse. Having someone on the other line is the best medicine - and the louder the better. In that, Junsu is obviously the most superior.
Changmin calls Yoochun. “She’s at my apartment again. I hate my life.”
Yoochun groans incoherently. His girlfriend hangs up the phone for him.
Changmin calls Yunho, because he’s been hung up on twice now and that’s just not okay.
Yunho is already at the restaurant with his girlfriend, their favorite Italian place, but she’s gone to the bathroom. He risks it and picks up the call. Changmin whines at him and Yunho gives him some leader-ly advice like “be nice” and “no, you can’t one-touch her” until he spots his own significant other threading her way back towards their table. He rushes a goodbye and hangs up, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
She sits down with a frown. “Don’t think I didn’t see that.”
He gives her a sheepish smile. “Changmin needed to vent. That girl ambushed his house again. He’s beginning to suspect she was one of our old saesang fans… ridiculous, yah?”
“Of course. Stars should never, ever date their fans,” she says mockingly. He chuckles and their food is delivered, creating a natural pause. Right as he goes to pick up his fork she starts talking.
“But you still broke one of the rules - no phone calls on dates,” she quips. “I’m taking one of your piggy banks when we get home, and I’m keeping it. Now turn off your phone, and eat your gnocchi.”
He makes a big show of turning off his phone, and picks up his fork with a flourish.
“Yes dear,” he says with a smile. He offers her his first bite of Gnocchi alla Sorrentina, which she accepts with a cautious eye. “How is it?”
She chews thoughtfully. “It’s alright,” she says, dragging it out playfully, and he chuckles around a bite of his own.
**
Eleven months after getting together and seven and a half months of living together, Jaejoong’s girlfriend breaks up with him. It’s a bitter, if not heated split; they both know it’d been a long time coming. Moving in together had put a strain on the relationship, and sometimes there were things that just couldn’t be fixed.
“I’m sorry, Jaejoong,” she says, her expression too brittle for her soft features. But she’s trying to be strong, and he respects that. He’s always respected that about her.
“Me too,” he replies softly.
“I feel like I’m interfering with your life rather than in it. Now… I’m just getting out of the way.”
Jaejoong’s throat grows tight. “I didn’t mean for that.”
“I know you didn’t. But I’m doing this for me as much as for you. You’re not ready for me, and I’m can’t keep waiting around for you to learn.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
The day after she moves out, Jaejoong is inconsolable and eats a whole half-gallon of ice cream. The second day, he freaks out that he ate a whole half-gallon of ice cream, and spends the next eight hours at the gym.
**
Junsu’s latest relationship ends when she goes overseas. The woman was another fellow actress (the only type he really has a chance to meet, these days), but - as always - being busy and in-demand doesn’t leave much time for a relationship.
They date for a few months and when she leaves he’s the one that takes her to the airport. Though they don’t officially break up, it’s understood that when she comes back, it won’t be to him.
He’s disappointed but gets over it quickly, bouncing back with aplomb that Jaejoong envies. They go to their weekly ramen lunch and he stares, fascinated, as Junsu animatedly inhales his noodles.
“How isn’t he more upset?” he asks to the world.
“He just doesn’t have it in him,” Yoochun answers instead.
“Doesn’t have the brain cells in him, you mean,” Changmin chimes in around half an egg.
Yunho tsks. “Don’t tease him now. This is a tough time for him.”
Junsu looks up for his bowl. “Touff wha’?” he asks, a dripping wad of noodles still hanging out of his mouth.
Changmin swallows his egg and stares in disgust. “Yeah, he’s a real mess alright.”
“Wha’r I misth?”
“Nothing at all, Junsu. Just keep eating.” Yoochun says calmly.
And Junsu does just that.
**
Three years after disbandment, and life is not too bad. Two members are now single but two members are still taken, and only one is still being stalked - though not for long.
Changmin’s stalking problem is finally dealt with at his 31st birthday party, a night which none of them will ever forget, for a whole number of reasons.
Yoochun’s reason is the little black velvet box that burns in his jacket pocket, hitting his chest every time he moves and reminding his heart that it’s supposed to be beating in regular time.
Changmin’s is the date he brings - she’s pretty and sweet and a little dumb, but what is most special about her is that she is not his stalker. Through some very meticulous, thorough planning, he managed to conceal all evidence of this party from her at.
Or so he thought. Junsu is in search for the bathroom when he sees her climb in the window. She’s wearing a dress and heels and he has no clue how she got up to the second-story, but there she is, Changmin’s stalker-girlfriend, in all her tiny, clingy glory.
“Uh-”
“Junsu-oppa!” she cries, latching onto his arm casually, as if she hadn’t just very obviously crashed their party. “It’s so nice to meet you!”
“Um-”
“I think my invitation must have gotten lost or something, isn’t that sad? I need to talk to Changmin-oppa! Can you tell me where he is?”
Her eyelashes have glitter in them, and she bats them in a way that is part cute, part seductive, and a whole lot of terrifying. He thinks of aliens and ”Take me to your leader!”, and his brain trips over itself trying to think of a plan to both retrieve his arm from her grasp and escape, unnoticed, to the security desk.
And then, somewhere in that desperate tangle of thoughts, a light bulb goes off. Junsu gives a quick laugh, one that seems to take her even by surprise - she lets go of his arm, but he grabs her hand immediately
“Yah, jet’s go see Changmin,” he says, pulling her forward.
They set off down the hall, matching smiles all the way.
As can be imagined, the following scene is not pretty. No one spots them soon enough and Junsu just doesn’t realize what sort of crazy he’s dealing with. All he’s thinking of is the wonderful moment in which Changmin’s face will change from happiness to absolute horror, and he will laugh his ass off as the true winner, forever and ever.
He doesn’t’ expect her to take one look at Changmin and his date and faint. He definitely doesn’t expect her to fall back and faint on him. They crumble to the floor and when Junsu manages to right himself he’s looking up into Changmin’s face - and it’s a lot more angry than horrified, like he’d imagined.
Changmin ends taking her to a side-room to recover, and minutes later, when the girl’s finally come to, Changmin steals himself, takes a shot of vodka, and delivers the speech that he’s been practicing in his head for months on end.
“I know we’ve spent a lot of time together, but you have to admit we were never an official couple - we’ve never talked about anything like that, have we? And that’s because, as much as I think you’re nice and deserve a good… person to be with, I just don’t think I’m that man. I don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry.”
He cringes, waiting for her reaction - which, when it comes, is rather surprising. She doesn’t throw a fit or threaten to kill herself, which is something he’d feared. She just starts sobbing and doesn’t stop. After a half-hour even she seems a little freaked out - other people come and talk to her and she insists she’s going to be okay, but it’s with hiccupped words and clipped phrases. Eventually they call her a cab and send her home - and those waiting on the curb can hear her sobs in the taxi until it disappears from sight.
He feels like a horrible person, but he comforts himself by punching Junsu in the stomach, and then forcing him to stay in the side-room while the rest of them go eat cake. He can even laugh about it a little, because Junsu never learns - Changmin will always the winner.
Right about that time, though Yoochun sneaks back in and they realize that yes, sometimes during the confusion, he and Juri had snuck out. But now they’ve returned - and they’re engaged.
Everything else is forgotten, Junsu’s imminent demise and crying stalkers unimportant when compared to Yoochun’s infectious laughter - a happiness which is almost as uncontrollable as her sobs once were. Changmin would rather deal with this any day.
**
Yoochun’s wedding is in the spring. It’s a beautiful ceremony in a beautiful church, and -they all agree, in their own way - a beautiful end to another era of Dong Bang Shin Ki.
Yunho loves weddings. He loves them, just as much as Jaejoong loves boots and Junsu loves video games and Changmin doesn’t love the fact that stalker-girlfriend came back after two weeks and decided she was perfectly content to be his stalker-friend.
He loves them so much that he gets his girlfriend pregnant at Yoochun’s wedding, and will quickly get to having a wedding of his own - not that he knows it, yet.
Changmin thinks weddings can be great, but not when you’ve got a barnacle stuck to your arm. His latest job had taken him to Japan for several weeks, and so inconveniently unable to find a date for the wedding. He’d rather have gone alone but, unwilling to risk a scene like at his birthday, decides to invite his stalker.
“It’s Soonhye,” she corrects, elbowing him slightly.
He winces, repeating her name with a strained smile. She straightens his tie in the car-ride over and he lets her, only because it turns out, she actually knows what she’s doing. “Four older brothers,” she huffs. “Without me they wouldn’t have known how to do anything, I swear.”
“Really?” he asks. He’s surprised he hadn’t known that.
“Yep! Why do you think you’re my favorite?” She responds, tapping his nose with a cheeky smile.
He glares at her until she backs off, still giggling - he should have known better than to ask. She hasn’t toned it down much. She still comes over to his place at all sorts of odd hours and it never fails to scare the crap out of him - but, then again, she’s doing it to cook and clean for him and, when he thinks about it, that isn’t too bad. For the most part, she stays out of the way.
Changmin figures it’s a decent compromise and something he can work with, albeit grudgingly. It’s only when they get to the wedding reception and he gets the phone number of three different women that she butts in again.
“Not the one in the blue dress, I saw her give her number to someone else, too.”
“That actress was nice but her skirt was a little too high, and she barely ate a bite of her dinner - rumor has it she’s anorexic, and you don’t want to deal with that.”
“That one’s name is Hae-jung, and she’s very nice, I talked to her. She’s totally your type.”
And, Changmin thinks, he really can’t say much to that.
Junsu thinks weddings are okay. They’re nice, but a little nerve-wracking. But that’s probably because Changmin’s decided that pay-back equals a taste of your own medicine and has been stalking Junsu, jumping and grabbing at him at random intervals and doing everything he can to drive him crazy.
“Yoochunnie,” he whines, after Changmin kicks him under the table and makes Junsu drop some rice all over his lap. “It’s your wedding, make him stop.”
“Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I’m taking the role of caretaker. You two fix your own problems, or go whine to Yunho.”
Junsu hunts down the leader down, only to find him in one of the backrooms and-
Yunho is unavailable, it seems.
Junsu, for the sake of his safety and innocence, ends up taking refuge outside, watching over a group of kids as they play games and kick around a ball. He doesn’t join in but it’s still refreshing, watching them run around and play like he used to, not too long ago.
He thinks he’s growing up at his own pace, and he’s happy to think it, too.
Jaejoong thinks weddings are wonderful. He’s been more to than he can remember and he’s loved every one of them, the service and the vows and the first dance at the reception. He’d like it a lot more if he weren’t alone, though.
“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,” he sighs, sipping his champagne. When he realizes no one’s actually listening to him, he decides to knock back the whole glass in one go. He’s sitting at the head reception table and tries not to be too maudlin - this day is about Yoochun, not him.
He decides to take his gloom away from the happy couple, and goes in search of another waiter. The crowd is up, milling about, and when he finally spots that tray of champagne, he has to stretch his arm out over a few shoulder’s to reach the last glass-
Only to knock into the hand of another woman, in turning knocking over the glass in turn. Both he and the woman immediately go about apologizing, and the waiter looks more overwhelmed with them than the upset glass. He rushes off to get a towel and leaves them hovering over the stain.
“You’re Kim Jaejoong, right?” She introduces herself, bowing quick at the waist. “I don’t think we’ve met before, but I work with Yoochun-sshi at the studio.”
“Nice to meet you,” he replies. “I’m sorry about, the…” he makes a vague motion with his hand towards the floor.
She shakes her head, flushing. “It’s okay, I probably shouldn’t be drinking any more. But, you know, single at a wedding…”
“I know, trust me.”
She tilts her head in question. When he hesitates she raises her hand, gesturing to the pale strip of skin on her ring finger. “Newly single, I should say. Divorce went final a week ago.”
Jaejoong laughs and plays with the hair at his neck nervously. “We broke up five months ago.”
There’s an awkward silence until the waiter comes back, with not only a towel but a brand full tray of champagne flutes. Jaejoong doesn’t miss how they both perk up at the sight; they take a glass each and clink for a toast.
“To being single,” he says.
She takes a sip and then winks, raising her glass for another. “To being available… for anything that happens to come our way.”
Jaejoong doesn’t see her after the wedding. He doesn’t even see her for most of the wedding - she disappears to talk to some friends and they never cross paths again. But her words ring in his ears, tug at his heart and lips until he can’t help but smile a little bit.
Time comes to cut the cake and they huddle round to watch bride and groom serve each other first bites. Yoochun manages to smash it into Juri’s face first, so Changmin takes it upon himself to defend his new sister-in-laws’ honor and upend an entire slice into Yoochun’s hair.
By the end of it, no one escapes unscathed. Junsu’s got frosting down his shirt and Yunho’s cleaning it out of his ears. Changmin licks strawberry filling off of his fingers and Jaejoong raises his glass, just in time for the photographer to get the best shot possible.
And Jaejoong thinks - yes, he might be single, but he’s definitely not alone. He’s already gotten quite the catch, four brothers and more love than most people will ever have. And for anything that happens to come our way, he toasts again, silently - because they don’t need anything more than that.
Though, he certainly doesn’t mind too much when, just his luck, he somehow ends up catching the garter and the bouquet.
started writing: 2/??/10
finished writing: 5/23/10
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