Dead Hostage, part 1. Before the screenplay.

[dynastic_queen]

[ *Dynastic Note: Hiya! Now I remember-I was purging when I wrote this. JT was teenager with a 102 degree temperature and no one would treat him because they didn’t like our HMO or PPO or whatever. I was one Pissed Off Mama

Comments

[faerie_writer]

Aaaah!! What happens next! What happens next!!! Where's Part II??

[dynastic_queen]

LOL! :)

[dynastic_queen]

I know. In my mind, at the time, the gun looked like a separate entity to me, alive and moving on its own. So that's what I wrote, from Brad's POV, seeing as he was in shock and all.

[dynastic_queen]

Yes, thank god! LOL! :)

(Hey, I've been sending you good vibes, peach... hugs)

[jen_deben]

I like this! There's good tension and engaging emotions in the scene. I love the fact that the reader doesn't know who to feel sorrier for, Brad or Ivy.

I think Ivy talks a bit too much, even given her shaky mental state, but it's all effective speech--it really paints a vivid and compassionate picture of who she is and how she came to the place she's in. Excellent work!

[dynastic_queen]

Yeah, she's a real chatterbox. I had a friend back then who used to do that a LOT--talk more and more, the more anxious or scared she got. It was unreal.

(No, I'm not talking about you, Reese, so don't be calling me, blowing up my phone! LOL)

Thanks for your observations, mouse. :)