fic: Never Say Never Again [13/?]
Title: Never Say Never Again
Rating: R [language and Disturbing Jack-Related Themes]
Spoilers: more or less up to Adam-ish so far, if one squints
Disclaimer: got my bags packed for the legal boobyhatch already
Summary: Jack's in trouble. Yes, that kind of trouble. What's a pregnant guy to do when the employee handbook says "no guns at the baby shower"...?
Notes: Whacko!AU!Muse seems to have gotten to the point of the fic where she gets caught up in figuring out later bits at the expense of working on the current chapter, so updates may get less frequent, but hey, at least that means she thinks she's actually going somewhere with all of this, right? Right...?
[Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12.]
**********
"Mummy?"
He rolls over and looks at the clock. When is this kid going to start making it all the way through the night? Yeah, okay, the books don't really apply here, but still, the size she is, it ought to be about time...
Chubby little arms reaching out as he approaches the crib. "Mummy, Mummy?"
"Ssh, I'm here." Lifting the toddler, letting her settle her head against his shoulder. Funny, how heavy kids can be. "Make you a deal, huh? You can come sleep in my bed again tonight if you'll try for another hour tomorrow night, okay?"
Yeah, reasoning with a toddler, real productive. But she's not just a toddler, is she. She's... whatever she is. His clingy little wild-haired oddball who watches him like she knows far more than she's letting on, and might well be humoring him to pretend to sleep in the crib at all. He tucks her in on the side of his bed that's come to seem too empty without her anyway and lies down beside her, feeling the telltale alien double-beat as he cradles her in his arms.
Jack expected nightmares, after this sort of a day. Welcomed them, even, as vivid proof that no matter how badly things had gone at least he wasn't adrift in the darkness beyond life again. But this, this was too real, the scent of baby powder lingering in his nose well after the furniture had stopped lurching at him through the gloom, and he found himself having to rub the mound of his abdomen to convince himself that his Rosie was still safely onboard, turning restlessly at his distress. Downside of the psychic fetus, the slightest thing could set them off, and then you were in for a night of having your bladder used for a punching bag. Think Happy Thoughts, Jack. Thoughts like hey, maybe Martha's awake anyway, and don't we all know what the best way to cheer Jack up is...?
Martha was, indeed, more or less awake, blessing or curse of the Time Lords that she largely ignored in her conviction that Jack needed some company at night, especially now, and proved not at all unreceptive to her husband's sleepy advances. He'd been neglecting her a bit lately, preoccupied with, well, the new woman in his life, let's say, and he hadn't really given much of a thought to the physics of how any of this would work these days when he did get around to trying -- "How did we manage this when it was you?"
Martha guffawed, scooping her disarrayed hair out of her face. "'S a bit different when everything's the other way around. I'm starting to think I might have to have an affair with Owen if I want to get any in the next couple of months."
"Y'know, time was I could have had you publicly flogged just for joking about that. Infidelity, I mean, not Owen. Sleeping with him would be its own punishment."
"You're the one in this marriage who's having another man's baby, mister."
"...I think if you scoot up and put your leg here --"
Rating: R [language and Disturbing Jack-Related Themes]
Spoilers: more or less up to Adam-ish so far, if one squints
Disclaimer: got my bags packed for the legal boobyhatch already
Summary: Jack's in trouble. Yes, that kind of trouble. What's a pregnant guy to do when the employee handbook says "no guns at the baby shower"...?
Notes: Whacko!AU!Muse seems to have gotten to the point of the fic where she gets caught up in figuring out later bits at the expense of working on the current chapter, so updates may get less frequent, but hey, at least that means she thinks she's actually going somewhere with all of this, right? Right...?
[Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12.]
**********
"Mummy?"
He rolls over and looks at the clock. When is this kid going to start making it all the way through the night? Yeah, okay, the books don't really apply here, but still, the size she is, it ought to be about time...
Chubby little arms reaching out as he approaches the crib. "Mummy, Mummy?"
"Ssh, I'm here." Lifting the toddler, letting her settle her head against his shoulder. Funny, how heavy kids can be. "Make you a deal, huh? You can come sleep in my bed again tonight if you'll try for another hour tomorrow night, okay?"
Yeah, reasoning with a toddler, real productive. But she's not just a toddler, is she. She's... whatever she is. His clingy little wild-haired oddball who watches him like she knows far more than she's letting on, and might well be humoring him to pretend to sleep in the crib at all. He tucks her in on the side of his bed that's come to seem too empty without her anyway and lies down beside her, feeling the telltale alien double-beat as he cradles her in his arms.
Jack expected nightmares, after this sort of a day. Welcomed them, even, as vivid proof that no matter how badly things had gone at least he wasn't adrift in the darkness beyond life again. But this, this was too real, the scent of baby powder lingering in his nose well after the furniture had stopped lurching at him through the gloom, and he found himself having to rub the mound of his abdomen to convince himself that his Rosie was still safely onboard, turning restlessly at his distress. Downside of the psychic fetus, the slightest thing could set them off, and then you were in for a night of having your bladder used for a punching bag. Think Happy Thoughts, Jack. Thoughts like hey, maybe Martha's awake anyway, and don't we all know what the best way to cheer Jack up is...?
Martha was, indeed, more or less awake, blessing or curse of the Time Lords that she largely ignored in her conviction that Jack needed some company at night, especially now, and proved not at all unreceptive to her husband's sleepy advances. He'd been neglecting her a bit lately, preoccupied with, well, the new woman in his life, let's say, and he hadn't really given much of a thought to the physics of how any of this would work these days when he did get around to trying -- "How did we manage this when it was you?"
Martha guffawed, scooping her disarrayed hair out of her face. "'S a bit different when everything's the other way around. I'm starting to think I might have to have an affair with Owen if I want to get any in the next couple of months."
"Y'know, time was I could have had you publicly flogged just for joking about that. Infidelity, I mean, not Owen. Sleeping with him would be its own punishment."
"You're the one in this marriage who's having another man's baby, mister."
"...I think if you scoot up and put your leg here --"