Little drabble inspired by zindegi manip
I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe it.
What horrible things have I done to deserve this? I’m a good person. I treat people well. I’m fair and honest, kind and friendly. I always fight for the underdog, I try to always be truthful, even to myself. Okay, maybe that’s a lie, but only to keep my sanity. If I let myself think too much about what I can never have, what I want more than anything but will never touch, if I let myself dwell on that, well, I’d go stark raving mad.
But keeping secrets to maintain my own self respect is in no way terrible enough to cause this! Really? Really? What have I done? I have to laugh. It’s insane. It’s unacceptable, maddening, truly unbelievable.
I will not break! I will not give in to my hidden desires. This is not an opportunity! This is….this is hell!
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I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe it.
Nothing in my life could possibly resemble the idiotic irony of this situation. To have the one thing, the only thing I have ever honestly kept myself from conquering because there was real meaning in my feelings. The only thing I would be willing to fight and lose for, the only thing power holds no meaning for. The one truth I would deny to my dying breath if need be. My only secret I would give anything for to protect, that I do protect without anyone the wiser.
But what if? What if I allowed myself to bring my secret to light? What if I laid barren my desires, willing them to fruition? What if in giving up my power, I find a new strength that can carry me through. I can always hope. What if I’ve just lost my mind.
I do not give in! I do not break! This is not an opportunity! This is…this is hell!