Wow. So tense. I'm dying here. The story keeps getting better and stronger with each new part. I do that, too, I think. I feel like my writing tightens in later chapters :) Not that I'm saying your earlier weren't good -- it's all been super. OK, I'm rambling now ;)
This: He’s mesmerized by the rising steam, and he thinks about the cup Jared had brought him that morning. If there were a way, he’d return to that moment and change a thousand things between then and now. -- Really loved that last sentence. Showed everything in few words.
This: Saving Jared’s life in that moment is the only piece of information his brain needs to excuse himself of the crime. -- Again, shows you everything one needs to know.
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This: He’s mesmerized by the rising steam, and he thinks about the cup Jared had brought him that morning. If there were a way, he’d return to that moment and change a thousand things between then and now.
-- Really loved that last sentence. Showed everything in few words.
This: Saving Jared’s life in that moment is the only piece of information his brain needs to excuse himself of the crime.
-- Again, shows you everything one needs to know.
Moving on happily now ...
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And I'm happy those lines stick to you and you're liking these boys ♥
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Now I need to keep reading!
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