young justice fic: it's a love story baby just say yes
Title: it's a love story baby just say yes
Fandom/pairings: Young Justice, Artemis/Wally, Dick/Zatanna, Meg/Conner
Word count: 1700ish
Summary: Snippets of five romantic comedies AUs that would never see the light of day if I tried to write them as complete stories.
Notes: THIS WEIRDLY ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE OF TEEN WOLF? But mainly it exists because it's Valentine's Day and VALENTINE'S DAY IS THE ACTUALFAX BEST. ROMCOMS FOR EVERYONE!
10 Things I Hate About You
“Let me get this straight,” says Artemis. “The big dude--”
“Conner,” supplies Grayson.
“Wants to date Miss Head Cheerleader--”
“Megan.”
“But her dad’s crazy protective and won’t let her date unless her mathlete big brother is dating, or when hell freezes over, whichever comes first. And you want to pay me to date the mathlete.”
“Well, I’m a mathlete, he’s actually more into the sciences,” says Grayson, “but yeah, that’s basically it.”
“Just so we’re clear - and keep in mind that a wrong answer will also be the last words you ever speak - what are you paying me for?”
“Nothing sketchy, nothing illegal. A first date, two potential future dates depending on their dad’s rules, and your silence. Not even Conner knows I’m doing this.”
“You do know that this could all blow up in your face, right?” She shouldn’t be pointing out how terrible his plan is, not if she wants to be able to afford that new bow, but if this goes south, he’s setting himself up to lose every friend he’s got.
“Don’t worry,” Grayson tells her. “We’ll laugh about this someday.”
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
“You just need to be yourself, Artemis,” Meg tells her earnestly. The worst part is that Artemis can tell she actually believes that, which isn’t surprising, given how Conner looks at her.
“I’m always myself, Meg,” she says, “that’s the problem. I have no interest in holding back or pretending to be something I’m not to get a guy’s attention, and they can never handle that.”
“Fine,” says Meg, “show me. There’s a guy coming over right now who's been checking you out all night. Just be yourself, and we’ll see who’s right.”
“Fine.” Artemis knocks back what’s left of her beer. “You’re on.”
“Let me get you another one of those,” says a voice behind Artemis, just before - oh hell no - someone puts their hand on her shoulder.
“I can think of ten ways to get that hand off me,” she says, “and the seven I like best all end with you in the hospital.” Meg’s eyes go wide, and Artemis doesn’t have to turn around to know that the guy’s gone. “Told you,” she says to Meg before sticking out a hand to flag down the bartender.
“That was the single coolest thing I’ve seen all night.” Artemis looks to her right, where a redheaded guy is beaming at her. “I know you weren’t looking - which only made it cooler, by the way - but the face he made was amazing, I think he probably wet himself a little.”
“He wouldn’t be the first,” she says after a few seconds. She’s not staring, exactly, it’s just...he’s got really nice eyes. “I’m Artemis,” she says.
“I’m Wally,” he says, “and I’m at that table right over there if you want to join me. I promise not to provoke you into maiming me.”
GO, GO! Meg is mouthing over Wally’s shoulder, flashing Artemis the thumbs up and grinning from ear to ear like she was right all along, which is ridiculous. Approving of how Artemis deals with sleazes is totally different from being okay with the hours she works, or how bad she is at being affectionate, or when she disappears for a day or two because she just doesn’t want to deal with anyone. It's totally different from being okay with her family.
Those eyes, though.
“Lead the way,” she says.
Never Been Kissed
He’s a reporter. God, Zatanna’s been such an idiot. All those times he’d come by her office for tutoring, every time he looked at her with that warm, kind, inviting look in his eyes that made her sit back and furiously remind herself that he was born in nineteen ninety-seven, for fuck’s sake, that no matter how much he seemed like an old soul he was still a child, all those times she’d hated herself for wishing things could be different, he’d been what, baiting her? Hoping she’d fall for it, so he could turn her into a story and destroy her career?
She thought she’d known Rich Robinson, but he’d never even existed. He was just Dick Grayson, some jackass reporter who would apparently do anything to make a name for himself.
“Zee, you have to see this,” says Meg, crashing into Zatanna’s office with Artemis close behind.
“You guys couldn’t knock?”
“No time for that,” says Artemis. “You’re going to want to see this.”
That’s when Zatanna sees the newspaper in Meg’s hand. “You guys,” she groans, “no. Don’t make me look at it. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s mortifying, and if it’s bad, then Kaldur’s going to fire me and Chris Hansen’s going to show up at my door whether I read it or not.”
“It’s not bad,” says Meg.
“Well, it’s kind of bad,” says Artemis. “But it’s more embarrassing for him than it is for you.”
“He says he’s in love with you,” says Meg, holding up the paper. The headline reads NEVER BEEN KISSED.
“Never been kissed? Seriously? How is that supposed to make me feel better about the jailbait thing?”
“You can whine about that later,” says Meg, grabbing her by the arm. “Right now, you have a baseball game to get to.”
Just Like Heaven
Artemis tries everything. She brings in a priest, a shaman, a team of wannabe Ghostbusters, but no matter what kind of specialist she brings in, it’s always the same. They set up all their gear, they say a bunch of stuff, they make big, dramatic motions like they’re casting the spirit out. Then they turn to her, beaming proudly, and tell her that her apartment is finally rid of the restless spirit that’s been plaguing it.
And through it all, every single time, Wally sits on the couch and laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
The latest guy is named Kaldur. He’s kind of weird, but at least he’s different. He didn’t bring any equipment or anything; he’s just walking around the apartment with his eyes closed and his face tilted up like he’s trying to sense everything in the room with just his mind. Artemis is starting to think he’s just messing with her when Wally gets up from the couch and heads into the kitchen. He can’t eat, or even open the fridge, but Artemis sees him in there way more often than she sees him anywhere else. She thinks he must have eaten a lot when he was alive.
But that’s not important. What’s important is that Wally walks into the kitchen, and Kaldur follows him.
“Oh my God,” breathes Artemis. “You can sense him! He’s real, then. I really do have a ghost haunting my apartment.”
“Yes and no,” says Kaldur. “I can certainly sense him, that’s true. But his presence is too strong. Artemis, I do not think he’s dead.”
“I told you!” crows Wally. “I like this guy. Make sure you pay him really well. And ask him where he got those tattoos, those are awesome.”
[Later:
“They’re going to take him off life support, Zatanna, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Artemis, are you out of your mind? Even if he were real - don’t you understand what you’re risking here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I love him, okay? I do,” Artemis says, turning to face Wally. “I love you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you too,” he says, and not for the first time, she aches to reach out and touch him.
“You better, you jackass, I’m pretty sure what I’m about to do for you is a felony.”
“Wow,” says Zatanna, “I can’t even see him and you’re still so cute I want to vomit.”
“So you’re in?” asks Artemis.
“I guess so,” says Zatanna. “You’d never lose your mind this sappily. Besides, one of these days I’m going to need help moving a body, and when the time comes, I don’t want to hear any shit from you.”
“Works for me,” says Artemis. “Let’s go steal Wally.”]
Bring It On
There’s a brief silence when their name is called, maybe two seconds after the announcer says “Happy Harbor Bumblebees” where nobody in the squad is really sure how to react.
Then Karen says “Second place? Hell yeah!” and suddenly they’re all piling on top of each other for a massive group hug, one ecstatic, screaming press of limbs that Artemis couldn’t extract herself from even if she wanted to. To her surprise, she doesn’t want to - the squad is family now, and there’s nowhere else she’d rather be.
The pile breaks up eventually. People peel off one by one, and then some UCA official comes along to tell everyone who’s left that they need to clear off the mat. Artemis heads over to the stands, squinting against the sun as she scans the crowd for her family. She spots Jade first (the CHEERLEADING = DEATH shirt is kind of hard to miss in this crowd), but her eyes quickly land on her mom, who’s still waving and cheering and looking like she’s so proud she could burst.
It’s a really good feeling.
Artemis is halfway to their spot in the stands when she notices Jade pointing over to the next section of seats, where the Wests are standing. Wally’s got his arm slung casually over Meg’s shoulders, and she’s holding up the second-place trophy for their parents to see and talking a mile a minute.
No way, Artemis mouths at Jade, shaking her head.
Jade somehow manages to say get over there, idiot with just her eyes. It’s both impressive and a little terrifying, so Artemis takes a deep breath and changes course.
Wally sees her coming and meets her halfway. (She’s starting to realize that he does that a lot.)
“It’s a very nice trophy,” he says, sticking his hands in his pockets uncertainly. His face is blank, and it somehow makes her feel even worse than she did when she saw his hurt expression when he found out about her and Cameron.
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” she tells him.
“The song? Please, you know my sister. It worked, but Meg would have found something no matter what.”
“No,” says Artemis, looking him in the eye and willing him to understand. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yeah?” He’s finally smiling at her again. “Well in that case, I’m sorry we only came in second.”
Artemis shrugs. “Feels like first,” she says, and kisses him.
This entry was originally posted at http://dudski.dreamwidth.org/1446900.html because FUCK LIVEJOURNAL, FOR SERIOUS. You can comment over there or over here, I really don't care, but eventually you're all going to join me on DW, let's be real.
Fandom/pairings: Young Justice, Artemis/Wally, Dick/Zatanna, Meg/Conner
Word count: 1700ish
Summary: Snippets of five romantic comedies AUs that would never see the light of day if I tried to write them as complete stories.
Notes: THIS WEIRDLY ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE OF TEEN WOLF? But mainly it exists because it's Valentine's Day and VALENTINE'S DAY IS THE ACTUALFAX BEST. ROMCOMS FOR EVERYONE!
10 Things I Hate About You
“Let me get this straight,” says Artemis. “The big dude--”
“Conner,” supplies Grayson.
“Wants to date Miss Head Cheerleader--”
“Megan.”
“But her dad’s crazy protective and won’t let her date unless her mathlete big brother is dating, or when hell freezes over, whichever comes first. And you want to pay me to date the mathlete.”
“Well, I’m a mathlete, he’s actually more into the sciences,” says Grayson, “but yeah, that’s basically it.”
“Just so we’re clear - and keep in mind that a wrong answer will also be the last words you ever speak - what are you paying me for?”
“Nothing sketchy, nothing illegal. A first date, two potential future dates depending on their dad’s rules, and your silence. Not even Conner knows I’m doing this.”
“You do know that this could all blow up in your face, right?” She shouldn’t be pointing out how terrible his plan is, not if she wants to be able to afford that new bow, but if this goes south, he’s setting himself up to lose every friend he’s got.
“Don’t worry,” Grayson tells her. “We’ll laugh about this someday.”
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
“You just need to be yourself, Artemis,” Meg tells her earnestly. The worst part is that Artemis can tell she actually believes that, which isn’t surprising, given how Conner looks at her.
“I’m always myself, Meg,” she says, “that’s the problem. I have no interest in holding back or pretending to be something I’m not to get a guy’s attention, and they can never handle that.”
“Fine,” says Meg, “show me. There’s a guy coming over right now who's been checking you out all night. Just be yourself, and we’ll see who’s right.”
“Fine.” Artemis knocks back what’s left of her beer. “You’re on.”
“Let me get you another one of those,” says a voice behind Artemis, just before - oh hell no - someone puts their hand on her shoulder.
“I can think of ten ways to get that hand off me,” she says, “and the seven I like best all end with you in the hospital.” Meg’s eyes go wide, and Artemis doesn’t have to turn around to know that the guy’s gone. “Told you,” she says to Meg before sticking out a hand to flag down the bartender.
“That was the single coolest thing I’ve seen all night.” Artemis looks to her right, where a redheaded guy is beaming at her. “I know you weren’t looking - which only made it cooler, by the way - but the face he made was amazing, I think he probably wet himself a little.”
“He wouldn’t be the first,” she says after a few seconds. She’s not staring, exactly, it’s just...he’s got really nice eyes. “I’m Artemis,” she says.
“I’m Wally,” he says, “and I’m at that table right over there if you want to join me. I promise not to provoke you into maiming me.”
GO, GO! Meg is mouthing over Wally’s shoulder, flashing Artemis the thumbs up and grinning from ear to ear like she was right all along, which is ridiculous. Approving of how Artemis deals with sleazes is totally different from being okay with the hours she works, or how bad she is at being affectionate, or when she disappears for a day or two because she just doesn’t want to deal with anyone. It's totally different from being okay with her family.
Those eyes, though.
“Lead the way,” she says.
Never Been Kissed
He’s a reporter. God, Zatanna’s been such an idiot. All those times he’d come by her office for tutoring, every time he looked at her with that warm, kind, inviting look in his eyes that made her sit back and furiously remind herself that he was born in nineteen ninety-seven, for fuck’s sake, that no matter how much he seemed like an old soul he was still a child, all those times she’d hated herself for wishing things could be different, he’d been what, baiting her? Hoping she’d fall for it, so he could turn her into a story and destroy her career?
She thought she’d known Rich Robinson, but he’d never even existed. He was just Dick Grayson, some jackass reporter who would apparently do anything to make a name for himself.
“Zee, you have to see this,” says Meg, crashing into Zatanna’s office with Artemis close behind.
“You guys couldn’t knock?”
“No time for that,” says Artemis. “You’re going to want to see this.”
That’s when Zatanna sees the newspaper in Meg’s hand. “You guys,” she groans, “no. Don’t make me look at it. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s mortifying, and if it’s bad, then Kaldur’s going to fire me and Chris Hansen’s going to show up at my door whether I read it or not.”
“It’s not bad,” says Meg.
“Well, it’s kind of bad,” says Artemis. “But it’s more embarrassing for him than it is for you.”
“He says he’s in love with you,” says Meg, holding up the paper. The headline reads NEVER BEEN KISSED.
“Never been kissed? Seriously? How is that supposed to make me feel better about the jailbait thing?”
“You can whine about that later,” says Meg, grabbing her by the arm. “Right now, you have a baseball game to get to.”
Just Like Heaven
Artemis tries everything. She brings in a priest, a shaman, a team of wannabe Ghostbusters, but no matter what kind of specialist she brings in, it’s always the same. They set up all their gear, they say a bunch of stuff, they make big, dramatic motions like they’re casting the spirit out. Then they turn to her, beaming proudly, and tell her that her apartment is finally rid of the restless spirit that’s been plaguing it.
And through it all, every single time, Wally sits on the couch and laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
The latest guy is named Kaldur. He’s kind of weird, but at least he’s different. He didn’t bring any equipment or anything; he’s just walking around the apartment with his eyes closed and his face tilted up like he’s trying to sense everything in the room with just his mind. Artemis is starting to think he’s just messing with her when Wally gets up from the couch and heads into the kitchen. He can’t eat, or even open the fridge, but Artemis sees him in there way more often than she sees him anywhere else. She thinks he must have eaten a lot when he was alive.
But that’s not important. What’s important is that Wally walks into the kitchen, and Kaldur follows him.
“Oh my God,” breathes Artemis. “You can sense him! He’s real, then. I really do have a ghost haunting my apartment.”
“Yes and no,” says Kaldur. “I can certainly sense him, that’s true. But his presence is too strong. Artemis, I do not think he’s dead.”
“I told you!” crows Wally. “I like this guy. Make sure you pay him really well. And ask him where he got those tattoos, those are awesome.”
[Later:
“They’re going to take him off life support, Zatanna, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Artemis, are you out of your mind? Even if he were real - don’t you understand what you’re risking here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I love him, okay? I do,” Artemis says, turning to face Wally. “I love you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you too,” he says, and not for the first time, she aches to reach out and touch him.
“You better, you jackass, I’m pretty sure what I’m about to do for you is a felony.”
“Wow,” says Zatanna, “I can’t even see him and you’re still so cute I want to vomit.”
“So you’re in?” asks Artemis.
“I guess so,” says Zatanna. “You’d never lose your mind this sappily. Besides, one of these days I’m going to need help moving a body, and when the time comes, I don’t want to hear any shit from you.”
“Works for me,” says Artemis. “Let’s go steal Wally.”]
Bring It On
There’s a brief silence when their name is called, maybe two seconds after the announcer says “Happy Harbor Bumblebees” where nobody in the squad is really sure how to react.
Then Karen says “Second place? Hell yeah!” and suddenly they’re all piling on top of each other for a massive group hug, one ecstatic, screaming press of limbs that Artemis couldn’t extract herself from even if she wanted to. To her surprise, she doesn’t want to - the squad is family now, and there’s nowhere else she’d rather be.
The pile breaks up eventually. People peel off one by one, and then some UCA official comes along to tell everyone who’s left that they need to clear off the mat. Artemis heads over to the stands, squinting against the sun as she scans the crowd for her family. She spots Jade first (the CHEERLEADING = DEATH shirt is kind of hard to miss in this crowd), but her eyes quickly land on her mom, who’s still waving and cheering and looking like she’s so proud she could burst.
It’s a really good feeling.
Artemis is halfway to their spot in the stands when she notices Jade pointing over to the next section of seats, where the Wests are standing. Wally’s got his arm slung casually over Meg’s shoulders, and she’s holding up the second-place trophy for their parents to see and talking a mile a minute.
No way, Artemis mouths at Jade, shaking her head.
Jade somehow manages to say get over there, idiot with just her eyes. It’s both impressive and a little terrifying, so Artemis takes a deep breath and changes course.
Wally sees her coming and meets her halfway. (She’s starting to realize that he does that a lot.)
“It’s a very nice trophy,” he says, sticking his hands in his pockets uncertainly. His face is blank, and it somehow makes her feel even worse than she did when she saw his hurt expression when he found out about her and Cameron.
“Couldn’t have done it without you,” she tells him.
“The song? Please, you know my sister. It worked, but Meg would have found something no matter what.”
“No,” says Artemis, looking him in the eye and willing him to understand. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yeah?” He’s finally smiling at her again. “Well in that case, I’m sorry we only came in second.”
Artemis shrugs. “Feels like first,” she says, and kisses him.
This entry was originally posted at http://dudski.dreamwidth.org/1446900.html because FUCK LIVEJOURNAL, FOR SERIOUS. You can comment over there or over here, I really don't care, but eventually you're all going to join me on DW, let's be real.