LET'S GO TO THE BEACH~!
Title: SHINee and Sand
Pairing: a little bit of Jongkey but nothing really
Genre: crackity crack crack
Summary: Shinee goes to the beach
A/N: Written from the brilliant idea of nickelsleeve
When SHINee hear the words “Free day” they had jumped in joy and screamed out plans of they wanted to do.
“MALL! I’M GOING TO THE MALL!”
“Can I sleep the entire time?”
“CAN WE GO TO KYOCHON?!”
“I WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH!”
“Can we go clubbing and stuff?!”
Their manager shook his head at them. They really were all still kids. He would be so thankful for that day of peace. And he wanted them gone as long as possible.
“Alright. You five are going to the beach.”
“WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT!? NO!”
“Can I still sleep there?”
“BEACH AND CHICKEN!”
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~”
“OH YES. Time to show everyone the Jjong guns!~”
“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” The manager was already pushing some bags into their hands. “You leave in 10 minutes.”
Taemin bounded off first down the hallway, undressing along the way. Jonghyun quickly followed, flexing his arm muscles in preparation for the day. Onew was next, stumbling and falling over himself, Minho grabbing him by the arm and dragging him the rest of the way. Key did not move.
The manager sighed. “Why aren’t you going Key?”
Key crossed his arms and frowned. “I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“It is too sunny! What if my precious skin gets burned?”
“Wear a hat.” Manager pushed Key down the hallway, shutting him in with the other four boys.
“Why is this so complicated?”
~*~*~
The car ride to the nearest beach was loud and obnoxious. On the way, they stopped for lunch, Onew practically crying when he saw the large bucket of overflowing chicken. Taemin kept randomly screaming “BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!” while Jonghyun kept flexing his arms and asking “Is this hot? Oh yeah it is~” Minho and Key were in the front two seats, one sound asleep, the other fuming silently to himself.
“STUPID SUN. I swear if I get any little dot of burn I will put out its stupid flames out so it can never see my beautiful skin again.”
“Jeez, Kibum, you’re such a diva,” Jonghyun piped up from the back. “’OOOoOOOH, my precious white pretty skin will be tainted with sun even though I’m wearing long sleeves and jeans and have put 50 ounces of suntan lotion on my body.’”
“SHUT UP JONGHYUN! You wouldn’t know the troubles of keeping your skin in tiptop condition!
You only worry about those stupid muscles!” Key yelled back.
Jonghyun kissed both his biceps. “You’re just jealous you don’t got these guns!”
Key snorted. “Yeah. Real jealous.”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!”
Key flipped around in his seat, pointing an accusing finger at Taemin. “IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL DROWN YOU IN THAT SEA YOU SO BADLY WANT TO BE IN!”
The young boy giggled at him. “If that’ll get you out into the sun, then go ahead a try.” He was bouncing on his seat now, his eyes crinkled into little half-moons.
Frustrated, he sat back properly, stuffing in his earphones, drowning everyone out with Kara. He was so caught up in the music, he didn’t realize when everyone began shuffling out of the van. Groaning, he followed; popping open a frilly pink umbrella the moment sun rays reached his eyes. “Stupid sun.”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!” Taemin vaulted into the sandy area, dropping his bags somewhere in his wake and diving into the waves. The other four set up a “SHINING SPARKLING --DO NOT ENTER” fortress of umbrellas and towels.
Jonghyun stripped off his shirt and shorts, leaving only a pair of tight swim trunks. He inspected himself from different angles, obviously impressed at what he saw. “Damn I’m hot.”
Key threw sand at him. “Go away before I barf.” Smiling, Jonghyun began to walk away, shoulders held back and head held high. He threw a sickening smile at a gaggle of girls who began to laugh behind their hands (Jonghyun believing he wooed them; Key knowing they were laughing at his ridiculousness). Continuing his path of manhood, Jonghyun strode through the hot sand, pausing every now and then to not-so-nonchalantly flex his muscles.
Pretending to barf at the embarrassing display, Key barked at the leader, “Why don’t you stop him?! He’s gonna give us a bad name! I don’t want to be fail beastly idols thank you very much!”
Standing up carefully, Onew took off after Jonghyun, his speed much too fast and Key knew this would not end well. Jonghyun was doing one of his poses that said “LOOK AT ME! I’M SO HOT” when Onew, unable to stop himself, barreled into him, sending them both into sand. Key looked away as soon as the two started tumbling in the sand in some sort of pathetic fight.
He stared at Minho. Minho stared back. Unwavering, Key continued to bore into those charismatic eyes which in turn never blinked.
“YAHH!” Key exclaimed. “Why are you still here?! Go swim or something.”
Shrugging, Minho pulled off his shirt and began striding to the water where Taemin was splashing around like a fish.
“Minho~~~” Taemin called innocently, waving him over with his hand. Minho wafted through the water, droplets clinging to his toned body in a very sexy manner. The younger boy attacked the taller one as he approached, climbing on top of him and roughly pushing his head underwater. Taemin was cackling as Minho struggled to get above water once more.
With Taemin and Minho drowning themselves, Onew and Jonghyun feeding each other sand, Key had had enough with this day. He hugged his body in closer, fearing the sun may just reach him under the three umbrellas and go through his three layers of clothing. But just in case, Key reached for more suntan lotion and spread it over any visible skin.
Leaning back on the beach chair, he stared through his sunglasses at some very hot young man approaching him. “Well, hello there~” he whistled to himself. Propping himself up, he stretched out his long legs, and briefly wondered if he should have taken off his jeans to properly display himself. Too late now.
“Hello.”
Key swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at the other man. He had some nice chiseled abs.
“Hello.”
“Ummm. I’m sorry to disturb you-“
“No no! it’s alright!” Key interjected. He flashed a brilliant smile hoping to send that man into a pile of beach jelly.
The man shifted uncomfortably in his flip flops. “I was just wondering…”
Key swung one of his legs around, giving him a sultry stare. “Yes?”
Seeming unaffected, the man continued, “Well I was wondering if that boy over there came with you.” He was pointing out into the ocean.
Key sat back, crossed his arms and pouted. “Which one? The one who currently is drinking the entire ocean or the one who could very possibly be the devil?”
“Umm…The one that is visible.”
“Yeah. He’s with me. Why?” Key was completely uninterested now, in both the man and the conversation.
“He dropped this.” A cell phone was produced and Key snatched it up quickly.
“Of course he would drop this. I’m actually surprised he didn’t take it into the water with him.” He flipped the abused phone in his open bag. “Thanks.” He closed his eyes, ready for a nap, but he still felt the presence of the not-so-cute-anymore guy. He cracked open his right eye. “Something else?”
“Uh…well…” he looked even more uncomfortable. Key smiled. Maybe he still had a chance!
The man pointed to a group of people lounging in the sand. “You look kind of lonely. If you want, you can come and join us.”
Just as Key was sitting up to go with him (even though that meant getting into the sun) he heard what seemed to be a stampede coming toward him. He deadpanned as he saw two sand-covered bodies hurdling toward him. He cursed inwardly and braced himself.
“KIBUMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Onew crashed into one of the chairs, somehow tangling himself in an umbrella, towels and some bags.
Jonghyun collided into Key, making both of them spill onto the sand. Trying to appear cool and beastly, he stood up as tall as possible (only reaching the other man’s chin).
Jonghyun literally bared his teeth and growled at the intruder. Key rolled his eyes and pushed him back into the sand. “I’m so sorry,” Key said to the stranger. “But someone has to look after these kids.” The young man just nodded and turned away.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Key kicked Jonghyun in the gut. “What the hell?!”
With big puppy eyes, Jonghyun looked back up into Key’s angry, lotioned face. “He was going to rape you!”
“Idiot!” Key slumped back down on his chair, covering himself up with a towel.
Onew peeked over the pile of beach things he was currently trying to get out of, but somehow kept making it worse. “Anyone want to help me?” He only received an annoyed snort in response.
Begrudgingly, Jonghyun did help the leader out of the web he wove, but soon regretted it as Onew stumbled off in another direction, crushing several sandcastles and sending at least a dozen children into tears.
Key was finally starting to drift off to sleep after Jonghyun and Onew had committed themselves to helping rebuild every castle that had been destroyed. Key knew they were making sand penises and boobs though; probably defiling all the poor children near them.
But instead of thinking of such childish acts, he resigned himself to the thoughts of pretty bags, windows full of pretty things, aisles and shelves full of pretty items-any thought of the mall put a big smile on Key’s face.
Until something wet and slimy hit him in the forehead.
Screaming with rage, he ripped open his eyes and watched the green ooze drip from his designer sunglasses. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” Completely grossed out, Key flung off his sunglasses and began running around in circles as if that would somehow get rid of the gunk splattered all over his face.
He stopped suddenly. His head slowly raising toward the sky. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SUN!" Key bounded back into the shade, pushing a waterlogged Minho out of his way. In the midst of rubbing his face in a towel he heard cackling from nearby. Key peeked out from a crack in the towel’s folds, his eyes landing on a sunkissed maknae, something stringy and green hanging from his fingertips.
Key took cover, throwing every possible thing on top of him. Sun and seaweed? No thanks.
Taemin’s cackles did not die off. If anything, they got louder. Shuddering beneath his castle of beach gear, Key felt someone grab his ankle and roughly pull. Screaming obscenities, Key was dragged out into the middle of the beach, no shade anywhere in sight and seaweed being shoved down his shirt and pants. The squishy feeling of seaweed made the diva quiver and abruptly strip down to nothing but his underwear.
He could feel the sun laughing at him as his skin absorbed every little ray.
Crying out angrily, he lunged for the two youngest members, only getting another face full of seaweed. Minho was pulling from behind, pinning his arms to his side; Taemin brandished another evil smile before pitching out another slimeball. Some of the gooey substance slid into Key’s mouth, making him gag and pull harder on the arms holding him back.
Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard Jonghyun’s and Onew’s chatter and knew he was officially in hell. Everything seemed to happen at once. Key’s arms bent back, his wrists tied up with what felt like a belt, his legs were spread held down by strong hands, his back was then thrust into the sand as a million little fingers crawled over him, dripping disgusting sea vomit all over his body. His shirt had been unceremoniously stuffed into his mouth, keeping all of his obscenities and screams from escaping. With wide eyes, he watched as Onew placed a crab on his stomach. Key quivered.
Yep. He was in hell.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The five members trudged in through the front door groggily. Their manager stared them up and down. “Have a good time?”
Taemin smiled brightly and nodded. Minho shrugged. Jonghyun hobbled past, a slight smile gracing his lips. Onew kicked off his shoes sending buckets of sand flying everywhere.
Key stood still, his head hung low.
“Didn’t you have fun, Kibum?” the manager asked.
“NO.” he growled. When he raised his head, the manager had to stifle a laugh.
“I see you got some sun.”
“I hate you,” Key snarled at him, his red nose crinkled in irritation. Wincing as he walked, Key’s sunburn seemed to double in pain. He would get revenge. On Taemin. On Minho. On Onew. On Jonghyun. On the manager. On the crab. And on the sun.
Pairing: a little bit of Jongkey but nothing really
Genre: crackity crack crack
Summary: Shinee goes to the beach
A/N: Written from the brilliant idea of nickelsleeve
When SHINee hear the words “Free day” they had jumped in joy and screamed out plans of they wanted to do.
“MALL! I’M GOING TO THE MALL!”
“Can I sleep the entire time?”
“CAN WE GO TO KYOCHON?!”
“I WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH!”
“Can we go clubbing and stuff?!”
Their manager shook his head at them. They really were all still kids. He would be so thankful for that day of peace. And he wanted them gone as long as possible.
“Alright. You five are going to the beach.”
“WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT!? NO!”
“Can I still sleep there?”
“BEACH AND CHICKEN!”
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~”
“OH YES. Time to show everyone the Jjong guns!~”
“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” The manager was already pushing some bags into their hands. “You leave in 10 minutes.”
Taemin bounded off first down the hallway, undressing along the way. Jonghyun quickly followed, flexing his arm muscles in preparation for the day. Onew was next, stumbling and falling over himself, Minho grabbing him by the arm and dragging him the rest of the way. Key did not move.
The manager sighed. “Why aren’t you going Key?”
Key crossed his arms and frowned. “I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“It is too sunny! What if my precious skin gets burned?”
“Wear a hat.” Manager pushed Key down the hallway, shutting him in with the other four boys.
“Why is this so complicated?”
~*~*~
The car ride to the nearest beach was loud and obnoxious. On the way, they stopped for lunch, Onew practically crying when he saw the large bucket of overflowing chicken. Taemin kept randomly screaming “BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!” while Jonghyun kept flexing his arms and asking “Is this hot? Oh yeah it is~” Minho and Key were in the front two seats, one sound asleep, the other fuming silently to himself.
“STUPID SUN. I swear if I get any little dot of burn I will put out its stupid flames out so it can never see my beautiful skin again.”
“Jeez, Kibum, you’re such a diva,” Jonghyun piped up from the back. “’OOOoOOOH, my precious white pretty skin will be tainted with sun even though I’m wearing long sleeves and jeans and have put 50 ounces of suntan lotion on my body.’”
“SHUT UP JONGHYUN! You wouldn’t know the troubles of keeping your skin in tiptop condition!
You only worry about those stupid muscles!” Key yelled back.
Jonghyun kissed both his biceps. “You’re just jealous you don’t got these guns!”
Key snorted. “Yeah. Real jealous.”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!”
Key flipped around in his seat, pointing an accusing finger at Taemin. “IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL DROWN YOU IN THAT SEA YOU SO BADLY WANT TO BE IN!”
The young boy giggled at him. “If that’ll get you out into the sun, then go ahead a try.” He was bouncing on his seat now, his eyes crinkled into little half-moons.
Frustrated, he sat back properly, stuffing in his earphones, drowning everyone out with Kara. He was so caught up in the music, he didn’t realize when everyone began shuffling out of the van. Groaning, he followed; popping open a frilly pink umbrella the moment sun rays reached his eyes. “Stupid sun.”
“BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!” Taemin vaulted into the sandy area, dropping his bags somewhere in his wake and diving into the waves. The other four set up a “SHINING SPARKLING --DO NOT ENTER” fortress of umbrellas and towels.
Jonghyun stripped off his shirt and shorts, leaving only a pair of tight swim trunks. He inspected himself from different angles, obviously impressed at what he saw. “Damn I’m hot.”
Key threw sand at him. “Go away before I barf.” Smiling, Jonghyun began to walk away, shoulders held back and head held high. He threw a sickening smile at a gaggle of girls who began to laugh behind their hands (Jonghyun believing he wooed them; Key knowing they were laughing at his ridiculousness). Continuing his path of manhood, Jonghyun strode through the hot sand, pausing every now and then to not-so-nonchalantly flex his muscles.
Pretending to barf at the embarrassing display, Key barked at the leader, “Why don’t you stop him?! He’s gonna give us a bad name! I don’t want to be fail beastly idols thank you very much!”
Standing up carefully, Onew took off after Jonghyun, his speed much too fast and Key knew this would not end well. Jonghyun was doing one of his poses that said “LOOK AT ME! I’M SO HOT” when Onew, unable to stop himself, barreled into him, sending them both into sand. Key looked away as soon as the two started tumbling in the sand in some sort of pathetic fight.
He stared at Minho. Minho stared back. Unwavering, Key continued to bore into those charismatic eyes which in turn never blinked.
“YAHH!” Key exclaimed. “Why are you still here?! Go swim or something.”
Shrugging, Minho pulled off his shirt and began striding to the water where Taemin was splashing around like a fish.
“Minho~~~” Taemin called innocently, waving him over with his hand. Minho wafted through the water, droplets clinging to his toned body in a very sexy manner. The younger boy attacked the taller one as he approached, climbing on top of him and roughly pushing his head underwater. Taemin was cackling as Minho struggled to get above water once more.
With Taemin and Minho drowning themselves, Onew and Jonghyun feeding each other sand, Key had had enough with this day. He hugged his body in closer, fearing the sun may just reach him under the three umbrellas and go through his three layers of clothing. But just in case, Key reached for more suntan lotion and spread it over any visible skin.
Leaning back on the beach chair, he stared through his sunglasses at some very hot young man approaching him. “Well, hello there~” he whistled to himself. Propping himself up, he stretched out his long legs, and briefly wondered if he should have taken off his jeans to properly display himself. Too late now.
“Hello.”
Key swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared at the other man. He had some nice chiseled abs.
“Hello.”
“Ummm. I’m sorry to disturb you-“
“No no! it’s alright!” Key interjected. He flashed a brilliant smile hoping to send that man into a pile of beach jelly.
The man shifted uncomfortably in his flip flops. “I was just wondering…”
Key swung one of his legs around, giving him a sultry stare. “Yes?”
Seeming unaffected, the man continued, “Well I was wondering if that boy over there came with you.” He was pointing out into the ocean.
Key sat back, crossed his arms and pouted. “Which one? The one who currently is drinking the entire ocean or the one who could very possibly be the devil?”
“Umm…The one that is visible.”
“Yeah. He’s with me. Why?” Key was completely uninterested now, in both the man and the conversation.
“He dropped this.” A cell phone was produced and Key snatched it up quickly.
“Of course he would drop this. I’m actually surprised he didn’t take it into the water with him.” He flipped the abused phone in his open bag. “Thanks.” He closed his eyes, ready for a nap, but he still felt the presence of the not-so-cute-anymore guy. He cracked open his right eye. “Something else?”
“Uh…well…” he looked even more uncomfortable. Key smiled. Maybe he still had a chance!
The man pointed to a group of people lounging in the sand. “You look kind of lonely. If you want, you can come and join us.”
Just as Key was sitting up to go with him (even though that meant getting into the sun) he heard what seemed to be a stampede coming toward him. He deadpanned as he saw two sand-covered bodies hurdling toward him. He cursed inwardly and braced himself.
“KIBUMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Onew crashed into one of the chairs, somehow tangling himself in an umbrella, towels and some bags.
Jonghyun collided into Key, making both of them spill onto the sand. Trying to appear cool and beastly, he stood up as tall as possible (only reaching the other man’s chin).
Jonghyun literally bared his teeth and growled at the intruder. Key rolled his eyes and pushed him back into the sand. “I’m so sorry,” Key said to the stranger. “But someone has to look after these kids.” The young man just nodded and turned away.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Key kicked Jonghyun in the gut. “What the hell?!”
With big puppy eyes, Jonghyun looked back up into Key’s angry, lotioned face. “He was going to rape you!”
“Idiot!” Key slumped back down on his chair, covering himself up with a towel.
Onew peeked over the pile of beach things he was currently trying to get out of, but somehow kept making it worse. “Anyone want to help me?” He only received an annoyed snort in response.
Begrudgingly, Jonghyun did help the leader out of the web he wove, but soon regretted it as Onew stumbled off in another direction, crushing several sandcastles and sending at least a dozen children into tears.
Key was finally starting to drift off to sleep after Jonghyun and Onew had committed themselves to helping rebuild every castle that had been destroyed. Key knew they were making sand penises and boobs though; probably defiling all the poor children near them.
But instead of thinking of such childish acts, he resigned himself to the thoughts of pretty bags, windows full of pretty things, aisles and shelves full of pretty items-any thought of the mall put a big smile on Key’s face.
Until something wet and slimy hit him in the forehead.
Screaming with rage, he ripped open his eyes and watched the green ooze drip from his designer sunglasses. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” Completely grossed out, Key flung off his sunglasses and began running around in circles as if that would somehow get rid of the gunk splattered all over his face.
He stopped suddenly. His head slowly raising toward the sky. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SUN!" Key bounded back into the shade, pushing a waterlogged Minho out of his way. In the midst of rubbing his face in a towel he heard cackling from nearby. Key peeked out from a crack in the towel’s folds, his eyes landing on a sunkissed maknae, something stringy and green hanging from his fingertips.
Key took cover, throwing every possible thing on top of him. Sun and seaweed? No thanks.
Taemin’s cackles did not die off. If anything, they got louder. Shuddering beneath his castle of beach gear, Key felt someone grab his ankle and roughly pull. Screaming obscenities, Key was dragged out into the middle of the beach, no shade anywhere in sight and seaweed being shoved down his shirt and pants. The squishy feeling of seaweed made the diva quiver and abruptly strip down to nothing but his underwear.
He could feel the sun laughing at him as his skin absorbed every little ray.
Crying out angrily, he lunged for the two youngest members, only getting another face full of seaweed. Minho was pulling from behind, pinning his arms to his side; Taemin brandished another evil smile before pitching out another slimeball. Some of the gooey substance slid into Key’s mouth, making him gag and pull harder on the arms holding him back.
Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard Jonghyun’s and Onew’s chatter and knew he was officially in hell. Everything seemed to happen at once. Key’s arms bent back, his wrists tied up with what felt like a belt, his legs were spread held down by strong hands, his back was then thrust into the sand as a million little fingers crawled over him, dripping disgusting sea vomit all over his body. His shirt had been unceremoniously stuffed into his mouth, keeping all of his obscenities and screams from escaping. With wide eyes, he watched as Onew placed a crab on his stomach. Key quivered.
Yep. He was in hell.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The five members trudged in through the front door groggily. Their manager stared them up and down. “Have a good time?”
Taemin smiled brightly and nodded. Minho shrugged. Jonghyun hobbled past, a slight smile gracing his lips. Onew kicked off his shoes sending buckets of sand flying everywhere.
Key stood still, his head hung low.
“Didn’t you have fun, Kibum?” the manager asked.
“NO.” he growled. When he raised his head, the manager had to stifle a laugh.
“I see you got some sun.”
“I hate you,” Key snarled at him, his red nose crinkled in irritation. Wincing as he walked, Key’s sunburn seemed to double in pain. He would get revenge. On Taemin. On Minho. On Onew. On Jonghyun. On the manager. On the crab. And on the sun.