Supernatural Fic: A Transfiguration
Because, uh, I'd never written a fic that included the phrase praise God unironically before. \o?
Beta thanks to
iulia! First couple of lines of dialogue cribbed from e. e. cummings.
Set during 5x01. Gen. PG. 1,338 words.
Unspoilery summary: There was just one person who I thought must be experiencing unadulterated delight during the episode, and this is that person's story.
Spoilery summary, highlight to read: Jimmy was laughing even as he fell to his knees.
A Transfiguration
They lived again, and with life came the knowledge of what had been done for them, and by Whom. The pressure of Jimmy's soul against Castiel's was minute as a matter of power, but as urgent and eager as it had ever been. Castiel needed a moment to regroup and Jimmy's ideas--Jimmy's needs--were not unworthy of consideration, at this of all moments. Castiel spread his wings, took a step, and brought them to the sidewalk in front of an unassuming house, hidden only crudely until now. They could, and would, do better now to shield this vessel and her mother.
Castiel said, and heard himself say, "Now the ears of my ears awake, and--"
Jimmy felt his face--his face--stretch in an uncontrollable grin. "Now the eyes of my eyes are opened."
Jimmy was laughing even as he fell to his knees and, first things first, let Castiel's power flow through him, to place the Enochian sigil on the walk in front of the house, shielding this place from all angels and demons.
It was the middle of the night, the stars mostly lost in the glare of streetlights, but he knew they burned on, as surely as the sun did on the other side of the Earth, and he knew Who had put them there--the same hand that had put him here, that had secured his life and soul and safety. He wasn’t even hungry.
"The Lord is my Shepherd," Jimmy murmured giddily. "I shall not want."
The street was quiet. The house before him was quiet. All was still, waiting--untouched, yet, by what was happening in Maryland, what would soon overtake the world. As soon as a vessel could be found...
Jimmy stood up, stepped over the sigil that would blind and baffle an angel, and walked up to the house. Castiel took charge again for an eyeblink, so that between one step and the next he moved from the front walk to the upstairs hallway.
He was just outside Claire's room. He slipped inside, stepping just so to avoid the creaky floorboards. Her room looked just the same--it hadn't been so long since he'd been in this house, just weeks.
Just one thing had changed: the cross was gone from the wall over her bed. He wondered if that had happened before or after he saw them last, but it didn't matter. He understood. He'd been there so recently himself.
He knelt by Claire's bed. She was sleeping like she used to when she was a baby, one fist balled up beside her cheek. Jimmy leaned forward, cupping one hand around the back of her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Castiel's power moved again through his hand, placing the sigil of protection under the skin, writing it across the bone.
Under his hands, Claire jerked awake.
"Shh, baby, it's all right." Jimmy pulled back to look her in the eye.
Awake, Claire was much older than she'd been the last time he saw her--well, not quite. The last time he saw her she was Castiel; when she was awake he could see what that did to her.
"Daddy?" Claire's face crumpled into a squint, hopeful and cautious, searching.
"It's all right," Jimmy repeated softly, smiling. "It's me. You're safe. Go back to sleep."
Claire bit her lip. "Castiel?"
Jimmy slipped away and Castiel answered. "I am here. Your father is also safe, Claire, as I promised you."
Claire nodded--she knew Castiel, and trusted him, relied upon him as she knew she could not rely upon her human father. She closed her eyes and Jimmy returned. It was a bitter pill in all this sweetness, to know his daughter required an angel's reassurance above his--but she had it. Through the grace of God, he and Castiel were here for Claire. For the world. For themselves, alive and whole.
Jimmy was smiling as he kissed her forehead again, and pushed up to his feet to slip back out to the hall.
Amelia was there, standing with her arms folded just outside Claire's bedroom. Despite her wariness, Jimmy couldn't help grinning again--he loved her, he loved her so much, and praise God, he was alive and himself to love her. She was here, she was safe, and whatever came next, this moment was already more than he'd dared to imagine he'd have.
She saw his smile, and her stance loosened a little, her eyes widening. "Jimmy?"
He nodded, beyond words, and opened his arms hopefully. Amelia raised one hand to her mouth, then nodded, then stepped into his arms. He hugged her tightly to himself, eyes closing as she relaxed into his embrace, holding on just as tightly.
"You're here," she whispered. "You're here, you're here."
Jimmy whispered back in the same tone of wonder, "Thank God."
He felt Amelia tense, and loosened his grip.
"Literally," he said, knowing full well it was a far cry from the last time he'd come home, knowing he could never completely explain it to her. He no longer had any faith to be lost; he had certainty, direct experience of the divine, though he could hardly fathom it even now. God was with him, God had restored him to life and health and self and Castiel. He had already experienced salvation of a most unimaginable kind; he had in some sense already passed into Paradise.
Amelia shook her head a little, but she didn't move away, reaching up to touch his face, brush back his hair from his forehead. "Jimmy, I don't understand. Did he... let you go?"
Jimmy shook his head. "Castiel's still here. I don't know if he can ever leave me, now. We... Things changed, tonight. Our Father intervened directly, for us."
It was hard to say it, knowing she would be upset by it if he explained plainly, and couldn't possibly understand if he didn't. As it was she just watched him, uncomprehending.
"We should be dead," Jimmy said softly. "Angel and man. We faced down an Archangel and lost. God had other plans for us."
"You--are you--" Amelia didn't pull away, but she touched his cheek, his temple beside his eye, her gaze searching. "Jimmy, angels who rebel against other angels are..."
Jimmy shook his head. "Angels who rebel against God are demons. Castiel is doing God's work, I swear to you, and I'm helping him."
Amelia bit her lip, but nodded, accepting what he said at least for now. "Why are you here? What's going on?"
Jimmy took a long breath. This was what lurked behind the thrill of living again, behind all his utter certainty. The end had come, and while he knew God was with them, he was not absolutely sure God's triumph would come before great losses were incurred, or in a way that looked like triumph to him, human as he was.
"The seals are all broken. I came to make you and Claire safe. Will you let me...?"
Amelia's eyes were shining with tears, he could see in the faint glow of the nightlight in the hall. Still, she nodded, and Jimmy leaned his forehead against hers and placed his hand over her heart, letting Castiel write the sigil of protection on her bones. She gasped at the sensation.
"You're safe now. You're hidden from angels and demons. I'll still know where you are, but even Castiel won't."
Amelia nodded slowly. "Jimmy, is that why you're here, instead of him? Because you had to find us?"
Jimmy shook his head. He thought of God again, of the first glorious instant of new life, of the certainty that he himself, personally, was watched no less than the sparrow--that it was all true, every wonderful thing he'd ever been taught and struggled to believe.
"He needed me for something else," Jimmy said, smiling for himself, for Castiel, for the wife and daughter he loved and was allowed to protect for one more night. "Angels weren't made to feel joy."
This entry was originally posted at http://dira.dreamwidth.org/507647.html. There are currently
comments there.
Beta thanks to
iulia! First couple of lines of dialogue cribbed from e. e. cummings.
Set during 5x01. Gen. PG. 1,338 words.
Unspoilery summary: There was just one person who I thought must be experiencing unadulterated delight during the episode, and this is that person's story.
Spoilery summary, highlight to read: Jimmy was laughing even as he fell to his knees.
A Transfiguration
They lived again, and with life came the knowledge of what had been done for them, and by Whom. The pressure of Jimmy's soul against Castiel's was minute as a matter of power, but as urgent and eager as it had ever been. Castiel needed a moment to regroup and Jimmy's ideas--Jimmy's needs--were not unworthy of consideration, at this of all moments. Castiel spread his wings, took a step, and brought them to the sidewalk in front of an unassuming house, hidden only crudely until now. They could, and would, do better now to shield this vessel and her mother.
Castiel said, and heard himself say, "Now the ears of my ears awake, and--"
Jimmy felt his face--his face--stretch in an uncontrollable grin. "Now the eyes of my eyes are opened."
Jimmy was laughing even as he fell to his knees and, first things first, let Castiel's power flow through him, to place the Enochian sigil on the walk in front of the house, shielding this place from all angels and demons.
It was the middle of the night, the stars mostly lost in the glare of streetlights, but he knew they burned on, as surely as the sun did on the other side of the Earth, and he knew Who had put them there--the same hand that had put him here, that had secured his life and soul and safety. He wasn’t even hungry.
"The Lord is my Shepherd," Jimmy murmured giddily. "I shall not want."
The street was quiet. The house before him was quiet. All was still, waiting--untouched, yet, by what was happening in Maryland, what would soon overtake the world. As soon as a vessel could be found...
Jimmy stood up, stepped over the sigil that would blind and baffle an angel, and walked up to the house. Castiel took charge again for an eyeblink, so that between one step and the next he moved from the front walk to the upstairs hallway.
He was just outside Claire's room. He slipped inside, stepping just so to avoid the creaky floorboards. Her room looked just the same--it hadn't been so long since he'd been in this house, just weeks.
Just one thing had changed: the cross was gone from the wall over her bed. He wondered if that had happened before or after he saw them last, but it didn't matter. He understood. He'd been there so recently himself.
He knelt by Claire's bed. She was sleeping like she used to when she was a baby, one fist balled up beside her cheek. Jimmy leaned forward, cupping one hand around the back of her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Castiel's power moved again through his hand, placing the sigil of protection under the skin, writing it across the bone.
Under his hands, Claire jerked awake.
"Shh, baby, it's all right." Jimmy pulled back to look her in the eye.
Awake, Claire was much older than she'd been the last time he saw her--well, not quite. The last time he saw her she was Castiel; when she was awake he could see what that did to her.
"Daddy?" Claire's face crumpled into a squint, hopeful and cautious, searching.
"It's all right," Jimmy repeated softly, smiling. "It's me. You're safe. Go back to sleep."
Claire bit her lip. "Castiel?"
Jimmy slipped away and Castiel answered. "I am here. Your father is also safe, Claire, as I promised you."
Claire nodded--she knew Castiel, and trusted him, relied upon him as she knew she could not rely upon her human father. She closed her eyes and Jimmy returned. It was a bitter pill in all this sweetness, to know his daughter required an angel's reassurance above his--but she had it. Through the grace of God, he and Castiel were here for Claire. For the world. For themselves, alive and whole.
Jimmy was smiling as he kissed her forehead again, and pushed up to his feet to slip back out to the hall.
Amelia was there, standing with her arms folded just outside Claire's bedroom. Despite her wariness, Jimmy couldn't help grinning again--he loved her, he loved her so much, and praise God, he was alive and himself to love her. She was here, she was safe, and whatever came next, this moment was already more than he'd dared to imagine he'd have.
She saw his smile, and her stance loosened a little, her eyes widening. "Jimmy?"
He nodded, beyond words, and opened his arms hopefully. Amelia raised one hand to her mouth, then nodded, then stepped into his arms. He hugged her tightly to himself, eyes closing as she relaxed into his embrace, holding on just as tightly.
"You're here," she whispered. "You're here, you're here."
Jimmy whispered back in the same tone of wonder, "Thank God."
He felt Amelia tense, and loosened his grip.
"Literally," he said, knowing full well it was a far cry from the last time he'd come home, knowing he could never completely explain it to her. He no longer had any faith to be lost; he had certainty, direct experience of the divine, though he could hardly fathom it even now. God was with him, God had restored him to life and health and self and Castiel. He had already experienced salvation of a most unimaginable kind; he had in some sense already passed into Paradise.
Amelia shook her head a little, but she didn't move away, reaching up to touch his face, brush back his hair from his forehead. "Jimmy, I don't understand. Did he... let you go?"
Jimmy shook his head. "Castiel's still here. I don't know if he can ever leave me, now. We... Things changed, tonight. Our Father intervened directly, for us."
It was hard to say it, knowing she would be upset by it if he explained plainly, and couldn't possibly understand if he didn't. As it was she just watched him, uncomprehending.
"We should be dead," Jimmy said softly. "Angel and man. We faced down an Archangel and lost. God had other plans for us."
"You--are you--" Amelia didn't pull away, but she touched his cheek, his temple beside his eye, her gaze searching. "Jimmy, angels who rebel against other angels are..."
Jimmy shook his head. "Angels who rebel against God are demons. Castiel is doing God's work, I swear to you, and I'm helping him."
Amelia bit her lip, but nodded, accepting what he said at least for now. "Why are you here? What's going on?"
Jimmy took a long breath. This was what lurked behind the thrill of living again, behind all his utter certainty. The end had come, and while he knew God was with them, he was not absolutely sure God's triumph would come before great losses were incurred, or in a way that looked like triumph to him, human as he was.
"The seals are all broken. I came to make you and Claire safe. Will you let me...?"
Amelia's eyes were shining with tears, he could see in the faint glow of the nightlight in the hall. Still, she nodded, and Jimmy leaned his forehead against hers and placed his hand over her heart, letting Castiel write the sigil of protection on her bones. She gasped at the sensation.
"You're safe now. You're hidden from angels and demons. I'll still know where you are, but even Castiel won't."
Amelia nodded slowly. "Jimmy, is that why you're here, instead of him? Because you had to find us?"
Jimmy shook his head. He thought of God again, of the first glorious instant of new life, of the certainty that he himself, personally, was watched no less than the sparrow--that it was all true, every wonderful thing he'd ever been taught and struggled to believe.
"He needed me for something else," Jimmy said, smiling for himself, for Castiel, for the wife and daughter he loved and was allowed to protect for one more night. "Angels weren't made to feel joy."
This entry was originally posted at http://dira.dreamwidth.org/507647.html. There are currently
comments there.