Comments | ds_flashfiction: Interruptions challenge by Aria

ariastar in ds_flashfiction

Interruptions challenge by Aria

Nov 13, 2009 00:20

Title: A State of Being (In Five Steps, With Flowchart)
Author: Aria
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2828
Summary: Ray always did things backwards with Fraser. Out of order, upside-down, hanging off rooftops, putting the sled before the Dief, all that good stuff. Ray Kowalski's guide to romantic relationships.

( A State of Being (In Five Steps, With Flowchart) )

interruptions challenge

Comments 69

miscellanny November 13 2009, 07:31:32 UTC

Thoroughly lovely, thank you.

ariastar November 13 2009, 17:15:09 UTC

Thank you. :)

j_s_cavalcante November 13 2009, 08:03:13 UTC

Sweet and smart and funny, and you just nailed both their voices, especially here:

Around dinnertime Ray'd had enough. "I'm beat," he said, shoving his chair back. "I read anymore and it's not gonna take. I am an information-soaking sponge, Fraser, but I am officially at capacity."

"Yes, it does feel that way," Fraser agreed, pinching the bridge of his nose and standing slowly.

You could have written for the show, it's that spot-on.

And yay, happy, warm and sweet ending. Great insights throughout into Ray's and Fraser's past relationship issues. Also, their toothbrushes echo the state of their hair! Hee. What a great touch (and they just would!).

Thanks for sharing this! \o/

ariastar November 13 2009, 17:19:07 UTC

Yay! I love to hear that I've done the voices right. And of course Ray's toothbrush as experimental bristles! :D

Thank you. :)

luzula November 13 2009, 08:28:14 UTC

"You suck," Ray told him, and Fraser said something that sounded suspiciously like, "Mm, if you like," so Ray turned around and dragged Fraser into a kiss, wet soapy hands and all.

Awww. Domestic kisses in the kitchen with soapy hands!

I also liked the ending sentences, and Ray's toothbrush being scruffy in comparison.

ariastar November 13 2009, 17:19:50 UTC

(Not-so-)secretly all I want to do in life is write soppy domestic F/K fic, no lie. :D

Thank you. <3

velvetmagras November 13 2009, 09:10:00 UTC

I love the idea of Fraser practicaly moving in with Ray without Ray really noticing. Lovely, lovely fic.

ariastar November 13 2009, 17:20:27 UTC

Never let it be said that Fraser cannot be occasionally subtle. :D Thank you!

missfuneralsong November 13 2009, 09:12:21 UTC

Brb, drawing little hearts all over this fic. I have such a thing for domestics, and the FLOWCHART. And the interrupting purse-snatcher is so totally this show. <3

ariastar November 13 2009, 17:21:09 UTC

Yay, hearts! I just want to write domestic F/K fic all the time, seriously. Thank you! <333