Comments | ds_flashfiction: TEAM ANGST: Day 15, "Failsafe"

sageness in ds_flashfiction

TEAM ANGST: Day 15, "Failsafe"

Nov 07, 2007 14:12

Title: Failsafe
Author: sprat
Team: Angst
Prompt: "That's the first thing you should do."
Pairing(s): F/K
Length: 5200 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Summary: He stands there in the quiet street, in the shade from one of the neighborhood's big old oak trees, and he cleans the blood off his face and hands with his handkerchief and some water from ( Read more... )

team angst, ds match

Comments 50

grey853 November 7 2007, 20:37:51 UTC

Oh, this is my favorite kind of story, so angsty and true to character. I really liked the fact that it was Fraser who finally came to Ray and confessed that he trusted Ray more than anyone, which says so much about Fraser it made me shiver. And the ending? Damn, it was hot!

sprat November 21 2007, 23:04:45 UTC

Hey, thanks so much! I'm glad you thought so. :)

green_grrl November 8 2007, 00:24:45 UTC

"Fraser, you are a freak."
"Understood."
"You are a freak, and you have shitty judgment, and so from now on, you are going to do whatever I say."
"Well, Ray. I have to admit that seems sensible."
"Good. I am glad we have managed to figure this out in a mature and responsible fashion."
"Indeed."

Oh, Ray, you wish! *squishes him*

The way you illustrated Fraser saying he trusts Ray while at the same time watching Ray put on the band-aid, double-checking it--that's briliant. Thank goodness Fraser's code of honor made him come around and admit his dishonesty. Heaven help them, getting in deeper.

sprat November 21 2007, 23:06:10 UTC

Poor Ray. Nothing's ever that easy. *g*

Thanks so much!

zabira November 8 2007, 02:12:40 UTC

the voice of this story made me SO happy. it was so perfectly tough and a little gritty, i really felt as if i was in ray's life AS A COP, which is a very interesting place to be.

so many things about this story pleased me, i don't even know where to start.

i love it when people explore how terrifying it must be to be the person who cares about BENTON FRASER, the man with a big red target on his back, who is stubborn as hell and has no sense of self-preservation. you really conveyed the panic of that experience perfectly. and the characterization on both of them was FANTASTIC. i absolutely loved the moment in the mirror with the band-aid.

and i'm with grey853, that last scene just about burned up my monitor with its sexiness.

sprat November 21 2007, 23:07:47 UTC

Aw, thank you! I don't usually try for much cop/action realism when I'm writing due South, so I'm glad you thought that worked. :)

mergatrude November 8 2007, 02:48:41 UTC

This was sharp and clever - almost scarily clever.

sprat November 21 2007, 23:08:43 UTC

Thank you! And...I'm sorry? *g*

brynnmck November 8 2007, 03:55:00 UTC

Oooh, wow, I really dug this one. I adored your Kowalski POV--great blend of edge and humor and non-cliche Kowalski-isms--and the Fraser voice was wonderful, too, and the whole thing just felt tight, not a word wasted. The tension just simmered and sparked throughout. And man, this:

he tells Fraser be somebody different and Fraser says I can't

God, yeah. That's exactly it, isn't it? And I'm honestly not sure how this is going to end for them, because they're making some steps, but that issue isn't really going away anytime soon--as Ray says, it ain't all right. But still, that last scene, all that love and lust and frustration and confusion all tied up together... *shivers* Knockout combo. Awesome job.

sprat November 21 2007, 23:10:35 UTC

I'm not sure how things would end for them, at least in this story's universe, so I'm glad that uncertainty came through. Thanks so much for this!