Space Challenge by Malapert
Title: The Pegasus Galaxy is Suprisingly Like a Chicago Police Precinct
Author: Malapert
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski, UST
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1400 words
Notes: This is a Stargate Atlantis crossover, sort of. Mostly it's silly.
It drove Ray crazy how methodical Fraser was. Fraser didn’t seem to get that life sucking space vampires might be arriving literally any minute and there wasn’t time for courtesy or proper preparation.
“I’m getting old here. It’s the Pegasus Galaxy. Not the Northwest Areas, Fraser.” Ray tried not to yell as Fraser explained in patient detail to disoriented elderly natives that they were being evacuated from their planet for their own safety. Ray scanned the horizon for Wraith darts.
“Major. I don’t know why you insist on bringing your mistaken notions of the Canadian place names to our disputes. I’m well aware that this is the Pegasus Galaxy.”
Fraser gently propelled the last octogenarian onto the puddle jumper. Ray had a moment of satisfaction because he could tell Fraser was annoyed. It was subtle, but Fraser’s slightly pursed lips gave it away. It was okay though because Fraser had been annoying Ray all day. And scaring the hell out of him. It was only fair.
“Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Ray took one last look at the tree line before he shut the jumper door. “Okay. Now if we can make it to the gate we’ll be home free.”
Fraser carefully buckled himself into his seat, checking and adjusting the straps, as if he weren’t entirely confident in Ray’s ability to fly the jumper-which was just like Fraser and ridiculous because if Ray knew anything, he knew how to fly.
Fraser’s voice was defensive as he continued to explain, “Studies show that refugees have more robust mental health if the reasons for their relocation are clearly explained to them before they are displaced. A 1989 UN study of Sudanese refugees demonstrates…”
“Okay, Fraser, you made your point. Their mental health isn’t going to matter if they’re dead. How good can they feel when everyone they know is dead?”
Ray radioed the gate room.
“Status, Major?” It was Dr. Weir.
“We have 11 members of the Raillian royal family on board. That’s all we could find. No sign of the Wraith.”
“Good work, Major Kowalski. Be safe.”
“Dr. Weir?” Fraser asked.
“Yes, Dr. Fraser?”
“It’s the Roillian Royal Family, not Raillian.”
“Understood, Dr. Fraser.” Dr. Weir’s voice held a note of amusement. “We’ll see you soon.”
Ray was really annoyed now. He glared at Fraser who looked completely innocent-a look that made Ray even more irritated. He wanted to punch Fraser.
“Do you? Do you gotta do that, Fraser? Raillian, Roillian. What difference does it make? You just do that to make me look bad in front of the Ice Queen.”
Fraser snapped back. “Major, how can you say that about Dr. Weir? She’s an able leader and certainly there’s nothing frigid about her.”
Ray muttered under his breath, “I’m not sure about that.”
But Fraser didn’t respond, either not understanding the double entrendre or ignoring it. With Fraser it was hard to tell if he was being willfully dense or he really didn’t get it. Ray ignored him in retaliation.
After an awkward silence, Fraser said apologetically, as if he knew that he had vexed Ray beyond what Ray could tolerate, “I would never do anything to reflect poorly on you. We are a team. Dare I say, partners?”
Ray nodded once, not ready to forgive.
Fraser couldn’t resist having the absolute last word. “I only want us to help our Roillian guests. The UN study I mentioned before specifically says respecting even small cultural differences helps refugees with the transition. They’ve lost everything and little things matter so much at times like these.”
Ray hands tightened on the controls and he flew toward the star gate without answering. He knew Fraser’s heart was in the right place, but he wanted to smack him. Fine, if Fraser wanted the last word, then damn it, Ray would give it to him.
The silent treatment usually shut Fraser up. So Ray concentrated on the feel of flying - it kept him from completely losing his mind and giving in to the urge to throttle Fraser. A puddle jumper wasn’t an F-14 but it was pretty cool.
Ray thought, not for the first time since he joined the Atlantis expedition, that of course he would get assigned to lead the team with the most aggravating scientist on Atlantis. And Atlantis was rife with aggravating scientists. Fraser was a brilliant biologist and very resourceful on missions, but he was also the most annoying human being alive in two galaxies and maybe the whole universe.
Like all the Atlantis scientists, Fraser seemed to be unaware that the military was in charge of security and thus was in charge of away missions. And as a Canadian and a scientist, Fraser was lacking in the proper respect and understanding of the American military command and control structure.
The rest of the team was easy to deal with. Dief, their Authosian guide, was easily plied with food. He was sarcastic and pretended to be hard of hearing, but other than that he was reasonable. Lt. Turnbull talked too much and it was annoying how much he idolized Fraser, but at least Turnbull realized that Ray was in charge.
Fraser was not easy to deal with. Half the time, Ray wanted to kick Fraser in the head. The other half of the time, Ray didn’t like to think about. If he did think about it, which he didn’t, he’d have to admit to himself that Fraser was the one person on Atlantis that he found attractive, you know attractive, like “do me” attractive. Yeah, Fraser was annoying, seriously weird, and verging on insubordinate. But there was something about him. At first, Ray thought it was only Fraser’s looks. But now he wasn't so sure.
Anyway this little attraction thing made everything complicated. Ray was sure that no one else on Atlantis was forced to work in these conditions-incredible danger one minute, followed by waves of overwhelming lust the next minute. Day in and day out. It was a miracle he could concentrate on missions at all.
When Ray was married to Stella, she was living on base, far away from missions and colleagues. There was sex and there was work --all nicely divided into neat compartments. No leakage. Now there was no sex because it was a military mission. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. All work. Ray missed the neat compartments. He missed sex. The leakage was driving him insane. Wanting the Canadian scientist sitting in the seat next to him was driving him insane.
A few minutes later when they returned to Atlantis, Ray was still feeling touchy, so he left the gate room as soon as he could and headed for his quarters for a shower and to jerk off. Maybe he’d feel better after that. As he left, he could feel Fraser’s eyes following him. Without looking he knew that Fraser was worried. Fraser always noticed when Ray was uptight.
Later Fraser found Ray in the mess hall and the worried look was still there, probably had been there all afternoon. “Major Kowalski, I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to undermine your authority. Perhaps I should ask for a transfer. Perhaps Major Shepherd has need of a biologist on his away missions. Perhaps you would like to work with Dr. McKay? He’s Canadian as well.” As if that would be an even trade.
Ray thumped Fraser on the back. “No way, come on, Fraser. It’s been forgotten. I thought we were partners, Frase. For better or for worse. I’d take your for worse over McKay’s any day. You have the best for worse of anyone I’ve ever met. I’m sorry I’m touchy. It’s just.” Ray paused. He couldn’t say what the problem was so he just made something up and hoped it didn’t sound lame. “I guess it’s the Wraith and maybe that I haven’t a good slice of pizza in 18 months or a decent beer. It’s kind of getting to me, you know.”
Fraser face lit up with relief. “Yes, the conditions on Atlantis are less than ideal and that does contribute to shorter tempers. Maybe some relaxation is in order.”
“Fraser, my friend. You’re right. I’ve got the Stanley Cup finals on DVD and I’ve been saving it for when we really need it. You want to watch with me after dinner?”
Yeah, what was Ray thinking? So now he just volunteered to sit in his quarters on his narrow bed with Fraser right next to him, in the dark, watching TV. Great. They’ll be touching and stuff. Thigh to thigh. They’ll be so close Ray will be able to smell Fraser’s shampoo. This was Ray’s life. Danger followed by lust. Then danger. Then lust again.
Author: Malapert
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski, UST
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1400 words
Notes: This is a Stargate Atlantis crossover, sort of. Mostly it's silly.
It drove Ray crazy how methodical Fraser was. Fraser didn’t seem to get that life sucking space vampires might be arriving literally any minute and there wasn’t time for courtesy or proper preparation.
“I’m getting old here. It’s the Pegasus Galaxy. Not the Northwest Areas, Fraser.” Ray tried not to yell as Fraser explained in patient detail to disoriented elderly natives that they were being evacuated from their planet for their own safety. Ray scanned the horizon for Wraith darts.
“Major. I don’t know why you insist on bringing your mistaken notions of the Canadian place names to our disputes. I’m well aware that this is the Pegasus Galaxy.”
Fraser gently propelled the last octogenarian onto the puddle jumper. Ray had a moment of satisfaction because he could tell Fraser was annoyed. It was subtle, but Fraser’s slightly pursed lips gave it away. It was okay though because Fraser had been annoying Ray all day. And scaring the hell out of him. It was only fair.
“Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Ray took one last look at the tree line before he shut the jumper door. “Okay. Now if we can make it to the gate we’ll be home free.”
Fraser carefully buckled himself into his seat, checking and adjusting the straps, as if he weren’t entirely confident in Ray’s ability to fly the jumper-which was just like Fraser and ridiculous because if Ray knew anything, he knew how to fly.
Fraser’s voice was defensive as he continued to explain, “Studies show that refugees have more robust mental health if the reasons for their relocation are clearly explained to them before they are displaced. A 1989 UN study of Sudanese refugees demonstrates…”
“Okay, Fraser, you made your point. Their mental health isn’t going to matter if they’re dead. How good can they feel when everyone they know is dead?”
Ray radioed the gate room.
“Status, Major?” It was Dr. Weir.
“We have 11 members of the Raillian royal family on board. That’s all we could find. No sign of the Wraith.”
“Good work, Major Kowalski. Be safe.”
“Dr. Weir?” Fraser asked.
“Yes, Dr. Fraser?”
“It’s the Roillian Royal Family, not Raillian.”
“Understood, Dr. Fraser.” Dr. Weir’s voice held a note of amusement. “We’ll see you soon.”
Ray was really annoyed now. He glared at Fraser who looked completely innocent-a look that made Ray even more irritated. He wanted to punch Fraser.
“Do you? Do you gotta do that, Fraser? Raillian, Roillian. What difference does it make? You just do that to make me look bad in front of the Ice Queen.”
Fraser snapped back. “Major, how can you say that about Dr. Weir? She’s an able leader and certainly there’s nothing frigid about her.”
Ray muttered under his breath, “I’m not sure about that.”
But Fraser didn’t respond, either not understanding the double entrendre or ignoring it. With Fraser it was hard to tell if he was being willfully dense or he really didn’t get it. Ray ignored him in retaliation.
After an awkward silence, Fraser said apologetically, as if he knew that he had vexed Ray beyond what Ray could tolerate, “I would never do anything to reflect poorly on you. We are a team. Dare I say, partners?”
Ray nodded once, not ready to forgive.
Fraser couldn’t resist having the absolute last word. “I only want us to help our Roillian guests. The UN study I mentioned before specifically says respecting even small cultural differences helps refugees with the transition. They’ve lost everything and little things matter so much at times like these.”
Ray hands tightened on the controls and he flew toward the star gate without answering. He knew Fraser’s heart was in the right place, but he wanted to smack him. Fine, if Fraser wanted the last word, then damn it, Ray would give it to him.
The silent treatment usually shut Fraser up. So Ray concentrated on the feel of flying - it kept him from completely losing his mind and giving in to the urge to throttle Fraser. A puddle jumper wasn’t an F-14 but it was pretty cool.
Ray thought, not for the first time since he joined the Atlantis expedition, that of course he would get assigned to lead the team with the most aggravating scientist on Atlantis. And Atlantis was rife with aggravating scientists. Fraser was a brilliant biologist and very resourceful on missions, but he was also the most annoying human being alive in two galaxies and maybe the whole universe.
Like all the Atlantis scientists, Fraser seemed to be unaware that the military was in charge of security and thus was in charge of away missions. And as a Canadian and a scientist, Fraser was lacking in the proper respect and understanding of the American military command and control structure.
The rest of the team was easy to deal with. Dief, their Authosian guide, was easily plied with food. He was sarcastic and pretended to be hard of hearing, but other than that he was reasonable. Lt. Turnbull talked too much and it was annoying how much he idolized Fraser, but at least Turnbull realized that Ray was in charge.
Fraser was not easy to deal with. Half the time, Ray wanted to kick Fraser in the head. The other half of the time, Ray didn’t like to think about. If he did think about it, which he didn’t, he’d have to admit to himself that Fraser was the one person on Atlantis that he found attractive, you know attractive, like “do me” attractive. Yeah, Fraser was annoying, seriously weird, and verging on insubordinate. But there was something about him. At first, Ray thought it was only Fraser’s looks. But now he wasn't so sure.
Anyway this little attraction thing made everything complicated. Ray was sure that no one else on Atlantis was forced to work in these conditions-incredible danger one minute, followed by waves of overwhelming lust the next minute. Day in and day out. It was a miracle he could concentrate on missions at all.
When Ray was married to Stella, she was living on base, far away from missions and colleagues. There was sex and there was work --all nicely divided into neat compartments. No leakage. Now there was no sex because it was a military mission. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. All work. Ray missed the neat compartments. He missed sex. The leakage was driving him insane. Wanting the Canadian scientist sitting in the seat next to him was driving him insane.
A few minutes later when they returned to Atlantis, Ray was still feeling touchy, so he left the gate room as soon as he could and headed for his quarters for a shower and to jerk off. Maybe he’d feel better after that. As he left, he could feel Fraser’s eyes following him. Without looking he knew that Fraser was worried. Fraser always noticed when Ray was uptight.
Later Fraser found Ray in the mess hall and the worried look was still there, probably had been there all afternoon. “Major Kowalski, I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to undermine your authority. Perhaps I should ask for a transfer. Perhaps Major Shepherd has need of a biologist on his away missions. Perhaps you would like to work with Dr. McKay? He’s Canadian as well.” As if that would be an even trade.
Ray thumped Fraser on the back. “No way, come on, Fraser. It’s been forgotten. I thought we were partners, Frase. For better or for worse. I’d take your for worse over McKay’s any day. You have the best for worse of anyone I’ve ever met. I’m sorry I’m touchy. It’s just.” Ray paused. He couldn’t say what the problem was so he just made something up and hoped it didn’t sound lame. “I guess it’s the Wraith and maybe that I haven’t a good slice of pizza in 18 months or a decent beer. It’s kind of getting to me, you know.”
Fraser face lit up with relief. “Yes, the conditions on Atlantis are less than ideal and that does contribute to shorter tempers. Maybe some relaxation is in order.”
“Fraser, my friend. You’re right. I’ve got the Stanley Cup finals on DVD and I’ve been saving it for when we really need it. You want to watch with me after dinner?”
Yeah, what was Ray thinking? So now he just volunteered to sit in his quarters on his narrow bed with Fraser right next to him, in the dark, watching TV. Great. They’ll be touching and stuff. Thigh to thigh. They’ll be so close Ray will be able to smell Fraser’s shampoo. This was Ray’s life. Danger followed by lust. Then danger. Then lust again.