Comments | ds_flashfiction: Dream Challenge by Tara Keezer

elementalv in ds_flashfiction

Dream Challenge by Tara Keezer

Jun 21, 2006 17:40

Title: Breathe
Author: Tara Keezer
Rating: R for language and (ahem) situations
Notes: Post-MotB; F/K; not entirely plotless, but close; 2,350 words

( Breathe )

dreams challenge

Comments 24

_inbetween_ June 21 2006, 22:05:38 UTC

I've never read that twist before, and I can so see Fraser insist on leaving. Blue balls and all. XD

elementalv June 21 2006, 23:53:37 UTC

As much as I enjoy reading them hopping in the sack, Fraser really does strike me as the type to want a courtship.

grey853 June 21 2006, 22:29:32 UTC

I like the idea of Ray wanting Fraser to put on his "happy face". Good job.

elementalv June 21 2006, 23:45:19 UTC

I think if Fraser was a woman, Ray would be totally whipped. Seriously.

grey853 June 21 2006, 23:57:25 UTC

I think Ray's totally whipped anyway. To be fair, who wouldn't be? *G*

elementalv June 21 2006, 23:59:57 UTC

Heh. You have a point.

capella_fic June 21 2006, 22:50:29 UTC

That was great. I laughed all the way through it and didn't see the twist at the end coming, not at all. I love the light-hearted Ray voice (Fuck-fuck-fuckity-mcfuck., heh) and loads of the lines, like:

I started to stand up, but remembered just in time it was a really bad idea for the rest of me to go vertical.

and

I didn't know it was possible to skid to a halt from walking speed, but I did it, even though I was wearing socks.

And dolphins in tuxedos? Love it.

Thanks!

elementalv June 21 2006, 23:52:30 UTC

Ray in panic mode is really fun to write, but it's even more fun to put Ray in panic mode to begin with.

mickeymvt June 22 2006, 02:54:08 UTC

Never though that Ray'd have dreams about that, but now that I see this, it makes total sense.

I love that his dreams caught onto his attraction to Fraser before his waking mind did. And the 4 month courtship. Soooo Fraser.

elementalv June 22 2006, 09:36:08 UTC

Fraser's an old-fashioned boy at heart. I suspect that if same-sex marriage had been available at the time, he would have insisted on a wedding first, especially after the Victoria mess.

j_s_cavalcante June 22 2006, 06:09:30 UTC

Loved this! Really fun. I love Ray's sort of Sam Spade voice and his investigating Captain Marvel and Peter Parker (hee!) and cataloguing Fraser's different faces. Ray's escalating distress over the dreams is charming and funny, as is his conclusion that leaving Chicago is his only recourse. Finally, the way Fraser insists on courtship is hilarious. He wants to be wined and dined and taken to egghead lectures! Poor Ray!

He was actually planning to walk out of my apartment and leave me with blue balls - and it wasn't even like I could tell him they would kill me, because he was a guy, and he knew better.

Hee!!!

And the penguins in tuxedos? Oh gosh, is Ray dreaming of an impending wedding? :) Great job!

elementalv June 22 2006, 09:34:01 UTC

He's either dreaming about an upcoming wedding, or he's got Dolphin Boy dressed like penguins in a kind of messed up dream of the future (I haven't figured out which).

And yay! You noticed the perps' names! I was so sad when no one commented on Dief's code name in Raid.