By Celtiknot: A day in the life
Well, here it is.
Fraser won't wake up and won't wake up and I go circle the room and sniff under the door and I can smell the rest of the house out there and then FINALLY HE WAKES UP!!! And he putter-putters around, runs the water in the tiny room, sends the water away, grumbles to his self, puts on the fake-fur pieces and the hard paws and FINALLY WE GO OUT! Down steps, to hard-like-rock ground, and I finally get the news. News that the big-slick-coat-dog left on the steps,news that tiny-fluffy-dog left, some cat news (stupid), news from dog I don't know. I leave my news on the steps to say My House! My People! Stay away!
Back inside, ready for food, but first Tall Clumsy One is here, pets me, yes, yes, okay but what about food??? Then rat-tat-tat Hard Paws Lady is here, lips moving Constable...Ray...again...later. She tap tap taps away down hall, and we go to kitchen.
Stupid dry food here, but later and Ray means better food soon. Fraser goes to mouth at talking-bone-to-head (Ray and yes and no-we'll-walk and soon) and then we go out the door.
No news covering mine so far (good) and it's just me and Fraser! Walk, run, sniff, back to Fraser, walk, walk. Then we're at Ray's Daytime House (old Ray and new Ray have same daytime house). Through crowded halls, too many people smells. Hi, Frannie! Frannie sniffs Fraser, but Fraser doesn't sniff back. Shows him her teeth (nice, for a person) and her teats, covered in little bits of fake-fur, but Fraser-smell doesn't change.
Then Fraser-smell does change, and I know New Spiky-fur Ray is near. Ray! Sniff crotch, knees, hands, yes, this is still New-Ray. Ray gives a too-many-teeth smile to Frannie (My People!), the pack smile for Fraser, mouths to me (Jeez, Dief! Manners!) and we go to Ray's desk.
Ray drops box (DONUTS!!!!) on the floor for me, and I eat. Ignore mouthing up high, because I know it already. Now, Ray and Come on, Frase and wild animal and just some donuts and honestly, Ray, you'll spoil him and all cops eat donuts, don't they, Dief?. Fraser plays with thin-tree-slices, and Ray talks into talking-bone-to-head, with much hand-waving and dancing around. I nap.
Thump to the desk, I wake up. Time for food? Ray is putting on another fake-fur piece, Fraser is putting on hat. OUT!!! Maybe food!
Down to Ray's no-dog sled. When we first came to Smelly-Too-Many-Buildings, I started riding in back, not pulling in front. Very odd. But back seat is my seat now. Lick Ray's ear (Jeez, Dief!) only Fraser-smell there, that's how it's supposed to be.
Rest of morning, very busy. Go talk to first man, smell doesn't change, doesn't know anything. Next man, stink of fear, nervous eyes. He runs! Then we chase, Fraser and me go outside around building, Ray chases inside. Fear-stink-man comes outside - caught! Suddenly, I see angry woman behind Ray! I bark! Ray turns, ducks woman swinging long-stick-with-fluffy-end. I guard fear-stink man on ground (growling and raising my fur so I look MUCH BIGGER!) while Fraser helps Ray. Women throws fluffy-ended (and wet. Huh.) stick at New Ray, and points tall can at Fraser. Stink of lemons. Like food, but....not. Ray wrestles woman down and puts on not-hurting-paw-trap to hold her. Ray summons black-and-white-no-dog sled to take man and woman away. Back in Ray's sled. Fraser almost smells like food.....lick. Yuck! Not food at all! Stupid lying smell!
Back to Ray's Daytime House. Ray tries to stay between Frannie and Fraser as they enter, and I laugh at him. More messing with tree slices, talking-bone-to-head. I nap. Finally, finally, go to grassy place for food and news. Food is spicy sausage-in-bread, and honestly, Ray, onions? and It's a vegetable, Fraser above me. Then check the news (tiny-fluffy-dog again, plus many others I don't know), leave my news ( it says, I am tough and dangerous!), chase ducks. I am about to accept a cookie from human puppy (Dief, no!) when we have to leave.
Long, dull afternoon. Ray barks at Big Stinky One, laughs with Fancy-Smelling One. Fraser leaves Ray's desk for the tiny-room-full-of-stuff, and Frannie tracks him there. Later, Big Growly Voice summons all of us to his cave. Much mouthing, much pacing. Fraser and Ray and I keep heads down. We are released, and scamper like pups to the safety of the no-dog sled. Freedom! I indicate my happiness in Ray's ear. Dief! Today we go to Ray's Nighttime House. The man who hunts pizzas for Ray (although I could certainly hunt enough pizza for us, if I chose) meets us there. Then it's pizza (on the couch for Ray and Fraser, on the floor (oh, unfair!) for me), and the flickering of the talking-picture-box. I nap, but can't sleep until my pack is safely in bed. Once they stumble off, clutching and whimpering at each other, I check house against intruders. Front door, kitchen, bedroom door (Ray will bark at me if I go inside to watch), tiny-running-water room, door to sometimes-outdoors-inside room, where No-Smell Bob stays. My job done, I settle onto the couch. Long day. Bad people taken away, important news sent and received, pack protected. Good day. Good Dief.
Notes: This was definitely inspired by Patricia Finney's I, Jack
Fraser won't wake up and won't wake up and I go circle the room and sniff under the door and I can smell the rest of the house out there and then FINALLY HE WAKES UP!!! And he putter-putters around, runs the water in the tiny room, sends the water away, grumbles to his self, puts on the fake-fur pieces and the hard paws and FINALLY WE GO OUT! Down steps, to hard-like-rock ground, and I finally get the news. News that the big-slick-coat-dog left on the steps,news that tiny-fluffy-dog left, some cat news (stupid), news from dog I don't know. I leave my news on the steps to say My House! My People! Stay away!
Back inside, ready for food, but first Tall Clumsy One is here, pets me, yes, yes, okay but what about food??? Then rat-tat-tat Hard Paws Lady is here, lips moving Constable...Ray...again...later. She tap tap taps away down hall, and we go to kitchen.
Stupid dry food here, but later and Ray means better food soon. Fraser goes to mouth at talking-bone-to-head (Ray and yes and no-we'll-walk and soon) and then we go out the door.
No news covering mine so far (good) and it's just me and Fraser! Walk, run, sniff, back to Fraser, walk, walk. Then we're at Ray's Daytime House (old Ray and new Ray have same daytime house). Through crowded halls, too many people smells. Hi, Frannie! Frannie sniffs Fraser, but Fraser doesn't sniff back. Shows him her teeth (nice, for a person) and her teats, covered in little bits of fake-fur, but Fraser-smell doesn't change.
Then Fraser-smell does change, and I know New Spiky-fur Ray is near. Ray! Sniff crotch, knees, hands, yes, this is still New-Ray. Ray gives a too-many-teeth smile to Frannie (My People!), the pack smile for Fraser, mouths to me (Jeez, Dief! Manners!) and we go to Ray's desk.
Ray drops box (DONUTS!!!!) on the floor for me, and I eat. Ignore mouthing up high, because I know it already. Now, Ray and Come on, Frase and wild animal and just some donuts and honestly, Ray, you'll spoil him and all cops eat donuts, don't they, Dief?. Fraser plays with thin-tree-slices, and Ray talks into talking-bone-to-head, with much hand-waving and dancing around. I nap.
Thump to the desk, I wake up. Time for food? Ray is putting on another fake-fur piece, Fraser is putting on hat. OUT!!! Maybe food!
Down to Ray's no-dog sled. When we first came to Smelly-Too-Many-Buildings, I started riding in back, not pulling in front. Very odd. But back seat is my seat now. Lick Ray's ear (Jeez, Dief!) only Fraser-smell there, that's how it's supposed to be.
Rest of morning, very busy. Go talk to first man, smell doesn't change, doesn't know anything. Next man, stink of fear, nervous eyes. He runs! Then we chase, Fraser and me go outside around building, Ray chases inside. Fear-stink-man comes outside - caught! Suddenly, I see angry woman behind Ray! I bark! Ray turns, ducks woman swinging long-stick-with-fluffy-end. I guard fear-stink man on ground (growling and raising my fur so I look MUCH BIGGER!) while Fraser helps Ray. Women throws fluffy-ended (and wet. Huh.) stick at New Ray, and points tall can at Fraser. Stink of lemons. Like food, but....not. Ray wrestles woman down and puts on not-hurting-paw-trap to hold her. Ray summons black-and-white-no-dog sled to take man and woman away. Back in Ray's sled. Fraser almost smells like food.....lick. Yuck! Not food at all! Stupid lying smell!
Back to Ray's Daytime House. Ray tries to stay between Frannie and Fraser as they enter, and I laugh at him. More messing with tree slices, talking-bone-to-head. I nap. Finally, finally, go to grassy place for food and news. Food is spicy sausage-in-bread, and honestly, Ray, onions? and It's a vegetable, Fraser above me. Then check the news (tiny-fluffy-dog again, plus many others I don't know), leave my news ( it says, I am tough and dangerous!), chase ducks. I am about to accept a cookie from human puppy (Dief, no!) when we have to leave.
Long, dull afternoon. Ray barks at Big Stinky One, laughs with Fancy-Smelling One. Fraser leaves Ray's desk for the tiny-room-full-of-stuff, and Frannie tracks him there. Later, Big Growly Voice summons all of us to his cave. Much mouthing, much pacing. Fraser and Ray and I keep heads down. We are released, and scamper like pups to the safety of the no-dog sled. Freedom! I indicate my happiness in Ray's ear. Dief! Today we go to Ray's Nighttime House. The man who hunts pizzas for Ray (although I could certainly hunt enough pizza for us, if I chose) meets us there. Then it's pizza (on the couch for Ray and Fraser, on the floor (oh, unfair!) for me), and the flickering of the talking-picture-box. I nap, but can't sleep until my pack is safely in bed. Once they stumble off, clutching and whimpering at each other, I check house against intruders. Front door, kitchen, bedroom door (Ray will bark at me if I go inside to watch), tiny-running-water room, door to sometimes-outdoors-inside room, where No-Smell Bob stays. My job done, I settle onto the couch. Long day. Bad people taken away, important news sent and received, pack protected. Good day. Good Dief.
Notes: This was definitely inspired by Patricia Finney's I, Jack