Mourning

[drydem]

I'm still not together. I don't know how long it's supposed to be until one is back together, I get the sense that you get a while before everyone expects you to be hunky dory after losing a parent, but I pride myself on resiliency and the ability to get back up after being knocked down. It's why I have a phoenix tattooed on my back. But I kind

Comments

[kniedzw]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Ben. I'm further sorry I didn't notice the note on Facebook. All the best.

[solestria]

I'm so sorry (and also sorry I didn't see the FB note). Sending love and hugs your way. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

[moonandserpent]

I my experience, the key thing is the day you can pretend to be doing well and then there's the day that you're actually okay - and there is a hell of a lot of distance between the two.

[songquake]

A phoenix is probably a good analogy to keep with-the cycle of fire-picking up pieces-okay is gonna go pretty fast and repeatedly for awhile.

I'm not sure how long it's been (I'm not even on FB), so I can't say for certain whether it's typical to even be doing anything beyond surviving at this point. In our culture people are expected to act like they aren't grieving long before the acute stages are over; there's a lot of talk about "getting over it" or "moving on." But...I don't know whether one ever gets over losing one's parent, especially if one was close to the parent.

I like the book Tear Soup. It was recommended to me when I accompanied a woman through the death of her granddaughter a few years ago.

And beyond that...all you can do is take joy where you find it, and as the other commenter said, act the way you want to be living.