You've got my attention, that's for sure. Up until the end, it was superb. You sort of lost focus at the end, but maybe it's just me since it's like 4am and I really should be asleep. Seriously, though, keep up the good work. And possibly make a new version of this Shadow King storyline from before because you have me so intrigued right now that I just really, really want to see what you did with it.
No, you're probably right. As I cautioned at the end, I'm not a terribly good writer. Mostly I just try to translate the images in my head and it doesn't come out very well. I can get the sense of a situation, and the emotional context, but I can't actually hear them speak, and kind of have to fill it in on a guess.
Quit with the self-hate already. You have a good start to your writing skills just with your ability to create this situation and this atmosphere and set the mood so well. You've set up a very strong internal voice and personality for John, and gone lengths at setting up Bobby, Emma and Sam's characters. So now you have to work on your ability to link together these expository moments, to make the plot move while still keeping all these things you've done so well. We all struggle with this. It's part of why a lot of people choose to write shorter works.
I think you can do it. It's just difficult and frustrating to get there.
Thanks. I'm curious to see more myself. I have a lot of things colliding in my head about what Mercury intends to do now that the Sentinels are a sure thing. He's had the same rough road as all the other local mutants, and the events that brought down the King marked him just as deep as it did any of the X-folk.
Thanks. Working on a few ideas right now. Kind of want to tell Emma's side of the whole thing. She keeps popping up in my head. Think I might also axe the end of this scene. Just doesn't fit right. Makes me think it should start it's own chapter.
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You've got my attention, that's for sure. Up until the end, it was superb. You sort of lost focus at the end, but maybe it's just me since it's like 4am and I really should be asleep. Seriously, though, keep up the good work. And possibly make a new version of this Shadow King storyline from before because you have me so intrigued right now that I just really, really want to see what you did with it.
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Thanks for the comment, though.
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I think you can do it. It's just difficult and frustrating to get there.
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Also, I didn't think John and Bobby were already together at this point, so the scene in the shower made me all happy.
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