Spiral: Chapter 6
Title: Spiral
Author: lux_apollo
Rating: R for violence.
Pairings: Bobby/John,
Summary: Bobby thinks about John. Rogue shows Bobby news report about John. Bobby flips. Justin does some training, learns more about his powers. Bobby tries to blow off steam in the Danger Room. We'll see how well that goes.
Notes: Thanks to sarahlu81 and miss_bushido for beta. This fic is cross posted at x_slash and fiery_snowstorm.
[ Prologue | Chapter 1 - NC17 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5]
Chapter 6
Bobby Drake picked himself up off the floor, having run into the massive pectorals of Piotr Rasputin as he turned from the sink in the boys’ bathroom. He’d been so lost in his thoughts. So lost that it was freaking him out, almost as much as the dream he’d had about John before waking up this morning.
“Ah, sorry there Pete! I didn’t hear you come up behind me,” Bobby apologized, blushing slightly. Piotr shrugged nonchalantly.
“No problem, comrade,” the Russian said. His thick accent had faded a lot since he first arrived 4 years ago. It almost seemed like yesterday to Bobby. Piotr took great pride in the fact that his mid-west intonation was almost flawless. His foreign origins only really came through in his speech when he was upset or tired nowadays. “Rogue was looking for you. She seemed upset,” Piotr continued.
“Really? Did she say what it was about?” Bobby asked, a little worried.
“Nyet, just that she wanted to see you. I think she was going to look for Jubilee. She said to send you to the living room, and she would meet you there,” Piotr explained.
“Alright. Thanks for letting me know, Pete,” Bobby replied as they exited the bathroom. The dormitory hallway was alive with life, as it always was on miserable, rainy early-October days like today.
“No problem. Now, I must go meet Katya. We have a study date,” Piotr said, grinning that idiot grin of a guy in love. He turned to head towards the girls’ dormitory.
Bobby sighed. Kitty and Piotr had become one of the staple ‘X-couples’ of the school, like Mr. Summers and Dr. Grey. Jubilee never spent more than a couple days single, even if she seemed to be with a new boy every month. At least she had someone. It seemed to Bobby like everyone his age was hooked up. Well, maybe not Justin. But that was just because he was new and only really talked to Bobby. At least Bobby wasn’t the only single senior left at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
He turned to go back downstairs to the living room. What did Rogue want to talk about? Bobby searched his brain for a clue, but couldn’t think of anything. It couldn’t possibly be about Remy. If it was about the Cajun, she would never have asked to see him. It would have remained strictly between her, Kitty and Jubes, if it even got that far…
Rogue had never really been one to kiss and tell or to complain about their relationship to the girls unless Bobby had done something utterly stupid. Which admittedly had happened a couple times, but it was nothing that would ever have made them break up. Not that Rogue hadn’t made her own mistakes in their relationship.
Yes, overall Bobby felt that the privacy that she regarded her relationships with was a nice trait. Rogue hadn’t even really told Kitty or Jubes about what was going on before she had broken up with Bobby (even if the pair claimed they knew it was bound to happen all along). She could have told them, but she didn’t. Mostly, Rogue just needed to know she had people to come to when she needed to. She didn’t over use them.
Bobby sometimes wished he had something like that. Of the seniors, he only really hung out with Jubilee, Kitty, Piotr, Rogue and Remy. Being close to the girls could only go so far, at least in Bobby’s mind. Besides, anything he could tell Kitty and Jubilee would eventually get back to Rogue one way or another. Remy was a good guy at heart but then again Bobby couldn’t really rely on him -both because of the Rogue factor, and Bobby just didn’t know him well enough. Finally, Piotr. A great guy, and a great friend but for some reason Bobby just never really connected with him like he had with John.
Johnny…
When John had left, Bobby’s deepest secrets had left with him. It was both ridiculous and completely logical that they had been best friends. Such opposite personalities, completely different histories… What commonalities did they have, anyway? Other than being thirteen when they met, secretly scared shitless of their powers, loved playing pranks, and hated their fathers?
That was typical stuff for mutants their age. Hell, take out the powers and it was stuff ANY thirteen year old was into. What was it between them that made things work? What did they have that Bobby just couldn’t seem to find among all his other friends? It didn’t make any sense. Every one of them would probably be labelled a ‘better person’ than John by just about anyone you could ask.
Regardless, it had worked somehow, even it made them into a huge cliché. Fire and ice. They were antipodes, but from the same realm of reality. It was just too obvious. Both their powers could burn people, both of their burns made people shiver from deadened nerves. Bobby’s powers just caused things to solidify together while John’s blew them apart. Bobby’s stuck things in time while John’s changed things forever. They were opposite directions on the same line.
John used to de-ice their room in the mornings if Bobby had lost control of his powers during the night and froze things up while he was sleeping. As fucked up as it was, John was always the one with better control. Everyone always seemed to think it was John who was out control, while Bobby kept things together. But the truth of the matter was that John wasn’t ever losing control. He was letting go.
Bobby was the one with the problem. Heck, he still had problems if he didn’t watch himself. Freezing the room during sleep was just one example of Bobby’s continuing mediocrity. He was much better now, but it used to happen a lot in the first year they were at the school. Bobby had woke up one morning while John was thawing everything. Bobby pretended to still be asleep. He had been so embarrassed at the time that he didn’t want to admit his lack of control if John said nothing. It was like the mutant teenage version of wetting the bed. Not surprisingly, John didn’t ever bring Bobby’s problem up in public or in private. They seemed to have an unwritten rule of what happened in their room stayed in their room.
It was little things like this that let Bobby know how much they had meant to each other. John had never been one to openly show affection. He did nice things for everyone he cared about while they weren’t looking. As far as Bobby knew, only he, Rogue and Jubes had ever figured that out. Everyone else just passed John off as an asshole and didn’t give him a second glance. Bobby figured that John liked it that way. It kept him safe and protected: he could be nice, but not have to admit it. He could do things invisibly and not have to come to terms with the fact that there was something left inside him that was good.
That had always been Johnny’s biggest problem. John’s parents had died in a horrible accident that John’s powers caused when they first started to appear. He had never forgiven himself. John’s parents had been very conservative, hard-line Australian Anglicans. Kind of unusual, Bobby guessed, but anyway… Bobby figured it was their parenting that had molded John’s world outlook.
Everything was essentially either good or evil in John’s world, no matter how small or inconsequential the thing was. And the death of John’s parents was definitely something that John would have classified as evil. In John’s mind it was his fault they had died. He had been told by his mother not to play around with the candles and matches, but he didn’t listen. John never listened. And then his powers had manifested, John couldn’t control them all and his whole life burned to the ground around him without a hair on his head coming to harm.
John killed them. It was a horribly evil thing therefore and to John it meant that he must be inherently evil too. But not just regular evil, but the “Evil with a capital E” kind of evil. It explained a heck of a lot about John’s rebellious/antisocial personality traits. John believed he was inherently Evil, so clearly there was no point in pretending to be good; he’d only eventually fuck it up and hurt someone else he cared about. The fact that John was shoved from foster home to foster home only made things worse. It was no wonder that John had run away to live on the streets for a while.
So John played the jerk when everyone was looking, and then went out and did some random act of kindness when he thought that no one was watching. It was safe to do it then. The part of him that wanted to redeem himself, the part of John that knew he really was a good guy deep down beneath the charred heart. That part was kicking and screaming the whole time to be let out. But that would hurt John too much.
“Bobby!”
He blinked, realizing he had entered the living room. Rogue was standing there, looking at him. She looked upset. Jubes was next to her, but her eyes were glued to the television.
“What’s wrong, Rogue? Did something hap-“ Bobby stopped. There was a news report playing on the TV. On CNN.
“Five law enforcement officers in Philadelphia are in the hospital in critical condition today, suffering from severe second and third degree burns after a brutal mutant attack last night. After investigating a security report of a break in at a research laboratory at the University of Pennsylvania, officers reportedly chased a young man from the premises. After pursuing him for some distance, the officers were attacked. No civilian witnesses to the break-in, chase, or attack have come forward. According to one of the victims, the mutant apparently had been taken into custody by another police officer after the attack on the five injured, but the mutant never arrived at the station. No one knows who the officer was who had arrested the teen. A homeless man had found the charred, unconscious bodies of the five officers and promptly got help from the authorities. Anti-mutant groups around the country have been calling on the government to -“
Bobby shut the TV off, tossed the remote back down on the table and turned to leave the room.
“Bobby, wait.”
“No, Rogue.”
“But that could have been John!” Rogue insisted. Bobby stopped and turned around. Jubilee had sat down on the couch, looking dazed.
“No, not ‘it could have been’, Marie. That was John. And there is nothing we can do about it. He’s made his choices. I made mine. I stayed on the plane. With you. I’m here, he isn’t. Are you happy?” Bobby snapped.
“That’s not it, Bobby. I just¬-“
“Just what? Didn’t expect to see this happen? Look who he works for! Look at what he did at my house and in San Francisco last year! You really think that he would have any problem toasting a few cops? Or that the Brotherhood would only hurt people at big events like Alcatraz and the riots we’ve been putting down recently? You absorbed him in Boston, you probably know better than I do what he’s capable of!”
“No, you don’t understand. I just don’t… I don’t know Bobby. I’m just worried.“
“You didn’t have any problems facing off against him the last time we had to fight Magneto and his gang. You didn’t have any problem with it when he got off the fucking jet at Alkali Lake. Rogue, you didn’t even care enough to ask me about how I felt about it after I had to beat my best friend unconscious at Alcatraz! So why do you suddenly care now?”
“Bobby, he was my friend too! I always cared, even if he was a bit of a jerk sometimes. He was your best friend. I would have thought you’d want to know where he was and if he was okay.”
“I don’t,” Bobby said vehemently. “I don’t want to know about the number of people he’s hurt. I don’t want to know about him destroying buildings and taking lives. I don’t want to see how far he’s fallen. I want to remember my best friend, the person I knew. Not some psycho killer who eats babies while burning their helpless mothers at the stake, or whatever it is the human conservative right-wing media wants to characterize him as. So if everyone could just stop reminding me of all this bullshit, it would be much appreciated.”
“Bobby, come on.” Jubilee’s voice trying to calm him down.
“I’m serious. I don’t want to hear it.” He said, a little quieter. Rogue was near tears, and Jubilee was looking at him like he was the biggest asshole. Bobby sighed.
“Yeah, I’m being a prick. Sorry. I just… I can’t deal with this, okay? It’s my fault he left. Just leave me be. I’ll deal with it when I have to, but only then. Got it?” He didn’t give them time to answer, but quickly exited and ran up to his room. Bobby could use the alone time.
Fuck. Why did this shit always have to happen?
Bobby felt like an asshole for the way he’d spoken to Rogue and Jubilee. Yeah, he had been pretty insensitive. And why was he acting like this now? Why wasn’t he just turning it into a big joke about ‘roasted pigs’ and going for a disgusted look -or a horrified laugh if he was lucky- from his girls?
The reason was John, wasn’t it? This stuff had bothered Bobby before, but not like this. Maybe it was because before he let himself be angry at John. It was easy to blame John for leaving at first. To blame it on John’s need to burn stuff all the time, his irresponsibility, his upbringing, his irrepressible anger.
But now? Things had changed and they had changed a lot.
It had started as far back as that first meeting outside the Cure clinic. Even back then, Bobby had felt something stirring in him that made him angry, but not so much at John as at himself for letting all this happen.
Something inside Bobby believed deeply that he could have stopped John from leaving. Or at least prevented him from joining up with Magneto. He wanted to believe that. He needed to believe that. If only he’d followed John off the jet into that blizzard-
Bobby leaned back against the oak of the door to his room, tilting his head back. He let out a deep breath, which crystallized into a white frost-mist. His temperature was falling rapidly and his body was trembling slightly. With what? Rage? Fear? Self-hatred? Bobby didn’t know. Maybe all three. Maybe none of them. He swallowed, and then willed his temperature back up closer to normal. It wouldn’t do to freeze his room over now. He hadn’t felt his control slipping like this for at least a year, not since… Damn. How had he gotten so fucked up in the head?
Bobby frowned. What was going on with him? Since when was he the one with mental problems? Since when was he the one who needed help? Bobby didn’t know what to think about that. At least those dreams weren’t coming as frequently anymore. Jeez, it’s just not right to be dreaming about kissing your best friend, about wanting to feel him touching-
Bobby threw his head back against the door with a thud.
Oh man, things have gotten out of control.
Maybe the Professor was right when he had suggested he go talk to a counselor. Then again, what was talking about all this going to accomplish? If he couldn’t talk about it to his friends, why should he be shoving it off on some stranger? Besides, it’s not like could he talk about any of his issues without telling the person that he was a mutant.
No, that was still out of the question. So what if the Professor knew mutant-friendly counselors or counselors that were mutants. So what if he currently felt like tearing his room apart and he didn’t even really know why.
Bobby turned around and headed back out of his room. The gym or the danger room seemed like a good idea. The way he was feeling right now, a tough workout might be just what he needed to blow off some of this toxic steam.
Bobby stepped into the starkness of the hidden elevator and entered his passcode to get down to the subbasement. All the senior students who were on the junior team had been given one; a perk that the adults had given them in an effort to get them to train more if they wanted to. The elevator whirred quietly as it made the quick descent.
The subbasement was bereft of life, as it usually was late on Saturday afternoons, save during an emergency call. The Danger Room was usually open right now. Bobby quickly suited up into his X-men uniform and then walked back to the Danger Room’s control booth. The door slid open, revealing a couple of the teachers watching a session in progress. Dr. Grey turned around, no doubt sensing his presence telepathically.
“Oh, Bobby. Come in. Were you wanting to use the room? Justin’s been at it for over an hour now, so I’m sure he won’t mind finishing a little early,” she murmured. Bobby had completely forgot that Justin was coming down here after their tutoring session. Bobby had been so caught up in his thoughts about everything and -well, John.
Bobby shook his head. “That’s okay. I can come back later.” The gym would have to do for now. Besides, Justin probably needed the training more than Bobby did.
“No really, come on in. I’ll call him out as soon as he’s finished this program. I have a few things I need to talk with him about,” she insisted. Bobby walked in and took a seat on the right side of the room. Dr. McCoy was at the controls, and Jean was standing beside him watching the action in the room below.
Justin was currently trying to run away from one of the mechs. It was about twice the size of him. Bobby recognized it as the model that usually tried to smash him with its fists. He usually just froze its hydraulics so it couldn’t move. Justin didn’t have that luxury, though.
The machine was chasing him even faster than Bobby was used to them moving, but Justin didn’t seem to be having much trouble. Dr. McCoy played with something on the control computer and walls started to come up from the floor, restricting the space Justin had to run away from the machine. Soon, enough of them had come up, and Justin was running himself into a corner. The machine had him trapped. It lifted his massive arm to take a swing, and Bobby sighed. That would be the end of that exercise.
Suddenly, Justin jumped back towards the wall and propelled himself off it with a sharp kick. He went arcing up over the swing of the robot’s steel arms and onto the robot’s shoulders in a jump that would have been impossible for a normal human. Justin teetered for a second, but regained his balance. The robot swung its arm up, trying to knock Justin off, but he jumped down behind the robot just in time. Justin quickly turned and made a gesture as if he was shoving something. The top-heavy robot, slightly off balance from swinging its arms up at its head, toppled and crashed to the floor.
“Excellent work, Justin!” Dr. McCoy exclaimed over the PA system. Justin looked up towards the booth, breathing heavily. “I didn’t think you were going to make it out of that situation, but you’re ability to react quickly and adapt your powers to threatening situations is far exceeding our expectations for your level of training.” Justin nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “You still have a long way to go, but you are making excellent progress! We are going to let you off early today, especially after that last drill. Could you please come up here? Dr. Grey would like to have a word with you before you hit the showers.”
Justin gave an affirmative and headed towards the far doors. Dr. Grey also made her exit from the control room. Bobby stood up from his seat and walked over to Dr. McCoy. The blue-furred scientist was busy setting up another program.
“Uh Dr. McCoy?”
“Ah, yes Bobby? What would you like the room set for?”
“Ah, nothing in particular… maybe something with hand to hand combat.”
“Do holographic opponents work for you? I’d like to spend some time this evening working on the mechs. They are due for a good overhaul. You and your peers have been doing quite the number on their systems, I fear.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“Bobby, may I ask what brings you down here this afternoon?”
“Ah… just thought I’d blow off some steam. And Mr. Sum- Scott has been saying I’m falling behind everyone in training, so…”
“I see. Well, I have everything set up. I do believe you have about two hours before the room is booked for faculty use. Good luck.” Dr. McCoy got up and walked out of the room. Bobby turned and scanned the program that was set up. It looked simple enough. He really didn’t feel like having any other surprises today. Not after Rogue’s sudden decision that every time John or someone who could be John comes on the TV they should all sulk and talk about it.
She never really had understood how Bobby’s mind worked. Otherwise she never would have asked him to meet her and Jubilee. It was actually kind of surprising considering the number of times she’d absorbed a small piece of his mind while they kissed.
Bobby exited the room. He tried not to let his thoughts wander back to John again. If he was going to get anything at all accomplished with this session he couldn’t be distracted by sentimentality or longing.
Longing? Since when was he longing for-
Fuck.
Bobby shook his head, trying to get a grip on his psyche. He was about to turn down the hall that lead to the entrance to the Danger Room, but he heard Justin’s voice echoing out from Dr. Grey’s lab.
“I don’t know how I reacted so quickly- I just did. It was like… like I could feel the surface of the robot. I could feel the metal, without touching it. The closer it got to me, the more concrete the feeling was, but it never touched me.”
“Except when you jumped on it. That was telekinetically augmented, right?”
“Yeah. There’s no way I would have been able to do that normally.”
“I’m glad to see you’re learning how to apply your telekinesis to your own body. It took me a long time before I figured out how to do that.”
“But I still have trouble using it on everything else. I was actually surprised at how easy it was to use it on myself, once I got a feel for it...”
“We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. I was always much better at using my telekinesis on other objects. I don’t know what it was for me, but my mind used to feel really awkward ‘lifting myself’, as strange as that may sound.”
“I don’t think it sounds that strange. It’s weird, though. For me, it’s like there is a relationship between my abilities and how far away things are. Since my body is about as close as something can be it is easy to apply some force to propel myself some extra distance, or use it to help me lift heavier things.
“But actually moving other things that I’m not touching and doing fine work with it? I can’t even telekinetically write my name with a pencil yet. It’s all just unfocused force. You have a twelve year old here who flies whole squadrons of paper airplanes down the hall without hitting anyone and I can’t even life a couple suitcases for more than a minute or two without giving myself a massive headache!”
“That may be true, Justin, but I think that it’s just inexperience. Julian is only telekinetic, and he practices using it constantly, even when he should be studying in his classes. You’re not built to do the kinds of stuff he does. Your precognition and your empathy are more what your mutation has built you for.
“There is a big difference in the way psionic energy is converted and applied between telekinesis and the telepathic or empathic disciplines. Usually scientists divide psionic energy into ‘hard-psi’ for telekinetics and structural manipulators, and ‘soft-psi’ for telepathy, energy manipulators and psi-senses because of the theorized differences in the physics. It has something to do with the application of the energy against mass as a force in telekinesis, but you’d be better off asking Hank about it if you want to know more. Physics and bioenergetics is more his forte.
“You nervous system is built like a huge conduit or antenna for psionic energy in its non-telekinetic form. It’s part of the reason why you are such a strong precognitive. I can show you the differences in neural anatomy and physiology between yourself and several of the other psionics at the school if you are interested.”
“Yeah, that would be great,” Justin replied with interest.
“Now, that’s not to say that I don’t think you can’t improve your telekinesis. I think you still have a long way to go. The more you use your powers, the longer your range will be and the more readily you will be able to move other objects with precision and control. It just takes practice and concentration. If you think my level of psionic ability comes naturally, think again. I had to work hard for every ounce of skill and control that I’ve gained. But it’s worth it in the end. The harder I work, the less I have to worry about losing control ever again.
“But enough about me. We can talk about my experiences some other time. I’d rather talk about these new sensations from today. So this feeling, what is it like?”
“I don’t know. It feels like I’m touching the objects, but without touching them. I just… feel where they are. I feel their weight, their movement, their shape, their texture¬- if they are close enough, that is.”
“Hmm… I can’t say I’ve encountered that. I get a sort of feeling of objects when I’m concentrating on them using my telekinesis, but only if I concentrate on them. What you are describing is a much more detailed sensation. It’s almost like another kind of psionic telemetry. I think clairsentience is the word used for distant perception of ‘touch’ or other things like this. Maybe it is tied into your other precognitive abilities as another psi-sense. Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they are related. It would explain your fast reaction time down here. You’ve got a pretty rare talent in your precognitive abilities. In terms of clarity and detail, I’ve only ever met one other person in your ballpark. But she’s been missing for a few years now and was never all that friendly to us. It’s too bad that we don’t have someone like Irene Adler to train you.”
“Who’s that?”
“Well, she usually goes by the name Destiny. Professor Xavier thinks she’s the most powerful precognitive on the planet. He met her once. I guess she’s been blind since a very young age, but she can see with her mind because her precognition and telemetric abilities are so strong. You’ve told me before that your visions sometimes present you with multiple scenarios, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s only happened a couple times.”
“Destiny has most if not all of her visions that way. She was always very mysterious, though, and was associated with Mystique on a number of occasions before she disappeared. I think I may have a chat with the Professor to see if we can find someone else who might be able to help you with your precognition better than either of us can. We should run some tests on those touch-like feelings you’ve been getting sometime later this week too, if you are up to it.”
“I guess… I only really get that feeling when I’m down here training. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s a lot quieter down here from a psionic standpoint.”
“That does make sense. Less ‘background noise’ distracting you from your psionic senses. I think you might be right about that. We’ll probably find out as you get better at controlling your empathy, blocking out unnecessary background details, and focusing on specific sensations you are getting. Alright, go have a shower.”
“Dr. Grey?”
“Yes?”
“Why am I the only one here who trains alone?”
“Oh Justin, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were worried about that.”
“Not really… But it’s not exactly helping me get to know anyone my age, as you keep saying I should do.”
“Justin, I-“
“Don’t worry about it. I know it’s not safe for me to be training with them till we can keep those psionic outbursts under control. Sorry. I know you can’t risk having me accidentally hurt someone else again. I’m just being whiny… Pay no attention. Just forget I brought it up.”
“Justin¬-“
Bobby heard the door shut and the sound of Justin’s footsteps quickly coming this way from around the corner. Embarrassed that he had been eavesdropping, he quickly turned and headed into the Danger Room. As soon as the door had locked tightly shut behind him, he gave the command for his session to begin.
“Computer, start current uploaded hand-to-hand combat program. Level 17.”
The danger room hummed as the photon generators warmed up. The cold, blue-grey metal faded from view as the outline of buildings and cars formed before his eyes and then merged into existence. This was always one of Bobby’s favourite things about the mansion. They had some of the best technology in the world, and of all the amazing things, the way reality just faded into something else here in the danger room never ceased to both impress and disorient Bobby.
“Program commencing. Simulant Level 17. Scenario rules: Use of powers is forbidden. Hand to hand combat only. Simulant fighting styles vary individually and randomly. All safeties engaged.”
Bobby whirled and blocked a punch as the first simulant approached him from behind as soon as the computer finished rattling off the rules. Hank must have heard Logan’s griping about Bobby’s lacking hand-to-hand combat skills. Logan seemed to think that it made Bobby a liability on the field, ice-armored or not.
Bobby quickly finished off the first round of attackers, and the computer began cycling up the difficulty to closer to his ability level. Level 17 was just a nice place to start for a warm-up. As things got harder and the punches and kicks came faster Bobby began to lose himself in the program.
Dodge. Block. Twist. One, two, punch. Jump back, knock out their legs. Block. Jump. Twist. Kick back, duck, uppercut.
He fought on and on, forgetting, directing his frustration, his anxiety, his stress and everything else that was bothering him into the blows he was dishing out to his holographic opponents. Wave after wave, he knocked each one unconscious. But as the difficulty continued to ramp up, things started getting messier and less controlled. Bobby stopped caring about how he was knocking the opponents unconscious. This was usually when Scott would stop him and start lecturing about how the X-men didn’t fight like that and how important it was to do as little damage as possible.
Logan would usually grumble something about those ideals being nice and quaint but useless if you wanted to survive. And Bobby agreed, somewhat. A couple years ago he never would have agreed with Logan, but after everything he’d seen he was starting to be not so sure anymore of all the things he’d learned at this school.
Bobby was taking much longer to finish off his opponents now. They were about equally skilled to him. This was what he needed to overcome. He could do it. He knew he was better. Better than these, at least.
“Level 27 complete. Engaging Level 28. Scenario change: Simulants represent approximated fighting styles of current and former X-men adversaries. Scenario rules: Use of powers is forbidden. Hand to hand combat only. Simulant opponents will be similarly handicapped. All safeties engaged.”
Bobby was sweating profusely now. He’d never made it beyond Level 27 yet. He’d thought this program was just a trainer, not an opponent simulator. He was about to disengage the programming when a holographic version of Toad took him by surprise and drop kicked him across the holographic street.
Bobby picked himself up off the ground and engaged his opponent. It was eerie how similar the simulant behaved compared to the real Toad. Bobby was trying his best, but he kept getting knocked down. Even without the use of his tongue and super jumps, holographic Toad was kicking his ass. Bobby knew if he could use his powers, he’d be doing much better, even if this simulant version was watered down compared to what the real Toad could do in close combat. But the rules were the rules, and Bobby knew that if this session was going to be worth anything he’d have to stick to them.
After five tries at taking Toad out, the computer announced that Bobby had failed the level. Bobby requested another try, and the computer presented him with Avalanche this time. Bobby smiled. This should be a little easier. Avalanche was a poor fighter up close. From the couple times they had tangled, Bobby knew he just had to get in a few well placed punches and then he’d-
Bobby grimaced, his hand coming up to his now-aching jaw as he dodged out of the simulant’s range. Okay, so the computer was making Avalanche a better hand-to-hand fighter than he was in real life. But Bobby could still beat him.
And he was right. He did beat simulant-Avalanche. It took him fifteen minutes of pushing himself to the limit, but in the end he managed to topple the computer generated opponent. Bobby smirked slightly as he bent at the waist trying to catch his breath.
“Computer, end- ooof!!”
A foot connected with Bobby’s ass, sending him sprawling. Bobby groaned deeply as he face-planted down onto the holographic street.
“Come on Drake, are you seriously that shitty at fighting? You’re just as pathetic as usual. I don’t know how you ever made X-man.”
That voice.
Bobby flipped over, giving the simulant-John standing in front of him a cold glare. The danger room computer sure had a sick sense of humor. It was almost as if it knew exactly how to make Bobby feel like shit just as soon as he’d done better than he ever had before at this exercise.
Simulant-John was smirking down at him smugly. “Are you going to get up and fight me like a man, or did those hippie ideals they’ve been feeding you turn into too much of a pussy, Ice-ass?”
Bobby got up, willing himself to not get upset. This wasn’t real. It was just a simulation. The danger room was programmed to know their weaknesses, and it knew that he and John had always been about equally matched. And it knew John’s personality from all the sessions they’d had so many years ago. That was all this was.
“You might have won last time, but that was only because you took me by surprise. You don’t have the benefit of your powers this time, Boy Scout Bobby. And we both know who’s better in a fistfight. You might as well just get on your knees and beg.”
“Never.”
Simulant-John’s smirk widened. “We’ll see about that.”
The two lunged at each other. It began just like any other fistfight Bobby and John had ever had. Blows connected messily with ribs, with jaws, with cheeks, and soon enough they were grappling. They tumbled to the ground as usual.
More blows were traded back and forth as they rolled back and forth, struggling for dominance. The struggle seemed to go on and on, evenly matched blow for blow. As Bobby felt his strength waning from the strain of the session he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever be able to get passed this.
No, he wouldn’t be held back. Not even by Johnny.
Bobby wrenched their bodies to the left with all his strength and pinned Johnny to the ground underneath him. Bobby grasped his wrists and held them down over his head, a position Johnny had always been weaker with. Johnny struggled, strongly enough that he almost broke free, but Bobby wouldn’t have it.
He’d win. He had to. He needed to stop this. He needed to-
“You dumbass, you used your powers!”
Bobby looked down into the dark blue eyes, sparkling with the mirth of victory. He pulled his frost-coated hands off Johnny’s frozen-together wrists and stared at the smirking face below him dumbly.
“Situation rules broken. Simulation failure. End of simulation.”
Bobby trembled as the hologram faded away around him, and the smirking face beneath him dissolved into nothingness. The floor of the danger room was coated in a thick frost that was quickly growing into a sheet of ice.
Tears washed out his vision, freezing on their way to the ground and then shattering.
He failed. He failed again.
And more than just failing, something else bothered Bobby more than he could even comprehend. Something that was straining at the tight leather armor, begging him for release.
Bobby had never been so hard in his entire fucking life.
And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to hate it.
He liked it.
He fucking liked it.
Author: lux_apollo
Rating: R for violence.
Pairings: Bobby/John,
Summary: Bobby thinks about John. Rogue shows Bobby news report about John. Bobby flips. Justin does some training, learns more about his powers. Bobby tries to blow off steam in the Danger Room. We'll see how well that goes.
Notes: Thanks to sarahlu81 and miss_bushido for beta. This fic is cross posted at x_slash and fiery_snowstorm.
[ Prologue | Chapter 1 - NC17 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5]
Chapter 6
Bobby Drake picked himself up off the floor, having run into the massive pectorals of Piotr Rasputin as he turned from the sink in the boys’ bathroom. He’d been so lost in his thoughts. So lost that it was freaking him out, almost as much as the dream he’d had about John before waking up this morning.
“Ah, sorry there Pete! I didn’t hear you come up behind me,” Bobby apologized, blushing slightly. Piotr shrugged nonchalantly.
“No problem, comrade,” the Russian said. His thick accent had faded a lot since he first arrived 4 years ago. It almost seemed like yesterday to Bobby. Piotr took great pride in the fact that his mid-west intonation was almost flawless. His foreign origins only really came through in his speech when he was upset or tired nowadays. “Rogue was looking for you. She seemed upset,” Piotr continued.
“Really? Did she say what it was about?” Bobby asked, a little worried.
“Nyet, just that she wanted to see you. I think she was going to look for Jubilee. She said to send you to the living room, and she would meet you there,” Piotr explained.
“Alright. Thanks for letting me know, Pete,” Bobby replied as they exited the bathroom. The dormitory hallway was alive with life, as it always was on miserable, rainy early-October days like today.
“No problem. Now, I must go meet Katya. We have a study date,” Piotr said, grinning that idiot grin of a guy in love. He turned to head towards the girls’ dormitory.
Bobby sighed. Kitty and Piotr had become one of the staple ‘X-couples’ of the school, like Mr. Summers and Dr. Grey. Jubilee never spent more than a couple days single, even if she seemed to be with a new boy every month. At least she had someone. It seemed to Bobby like everyone his age was hooked up. Well, maybe not Justin. But that was just because he was new and only really talked to Bobby. At least Bobby wasn’t the only single senior left at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
He turned to go back downstairs to the living room. What did Rogue want to talk about? Bobby searched his brain for a clue, but couldn’t think of anything. It couldn’t possibly be about Remy. If it was about the Cajun, she would never have asked to see him. It would have remained strictly between her, Kitty and Jubes, if it even got that far…
Rogue had never really been one to kiss and tell or to complain about their relationship to the girls unless Bobby had done something utterly stupid. Which admittedly had happened a couple times, but it was nothing that would ever have made them break up. Not that Rogue hadn’t made her own mistakes in their relationship.
Yes, overall Bobby felt that the privacy that she regarded her relationships with was a nice trait. Rogue hadn’t even really told Kitty or Jubes about what was going on before she had broken up with Bobby (even if the pair claimed they knew it was bound to happen all along). She could have told them, but she didn’t. Mostly, Rogue just needed to know she had people to come to when she needed to. She didn’t over use them.
Bobby sometimes wished he had something like that. Of the seniors, he only really hung out with Jubilee, Kitty, Piotr, Rogue and Remy. Being close to the girls could only go so far, at least in Bobby’s mind. Besides, anything he could tell Kitty and Jubilee would eventually get back to Rogue one way or another. Remy was a good guy at heart but then again Bobby couldn’t really rely on him -both because of the Rogue factor, and Bobby just didn’t know him well enough. Finally, Piotr. A great guy, and a great friend but for some reason Bobby just never really connected with him like he had with John.
Johnny…
When John had left, Bobby’s deepest secrets had left with him. It was both ridiculous and completely logical that they had been best friends. Such opposite personalities, completely different histories… What commonalities did they have, anyway? Other than being thirteen when they met, secretly scared shitless of their powers, loved playing pranks, and hated their fathers?
That was typical stuff for mutants their age. Hell, take out the powers and it was stuff ANY thirteen year old was into. What was it between them that made things work? What did they have that Bobby just couldn’t seem to find among all his other friends? It didn’t make any sense. Every one of them would probably be labelled a ‘better person’ than John by just about anyone you could ask.
Regardless, it had worked somehow, even it made them into a huge cliché. Fire and ice. They were antipodes, but from the same realm of reality. It was just too obvious. Both their powers could burn people, both of their burns made people shiver from deadened nerves. Bobby’s powers just caused things to solidify together while John’s blew them apart. Bobby’s stuck things in time while John’s changed things forever. They were opposite directions on the same line.
John used to de-ice their room in the mornings if Bobby had lost control of his powers during the night and froze things up while he was sleeping. As fucked up as it was, John was always the one with better control. Everyone always seemed to think it was John who was out control, while Bobby kept things together. But the truth of the matter was that John wasn’t ever losing control. He was letting go.
Bobby was the one with the problem. Heck, he still had problems if he didn’t watch himself. Freezing the room during sleep was just one example of Bobby’s continuing mediocrity. He was much better now, but it used to happen a lot in the first year they were at the school. Bobby had woke up one morning while John was thawing everything. Bobby pretended to still be asleep. He had been so embarrassed at the time that he didn’t want to admit his lack of control if John said nothing. It was like the mutant teenage version of wetting the bed. Not surprisingly, John didn’t ever bring Bobby’s problem up in public or in private. They seemed to have an unwritten rule of what happened in their room stayed in their room.
It was little things like this that let Bobby know how much they had meant to each other. John had never been one to openly show affection. He did nice things for everyone he cared about while they weren’t looking. As far as Bobby knew, only he, Rogue and Jubes had ever figured that out. Everyone else just passed John off as an asshole and didn’t give him a second glance. Bobby figured that John liked it that way. It kept him safe and protected: he could be nice, but not have to admit it. He could do things invisibly and not have to come to terms with the fact that there was something left inside him that was good.
That had always been Johnny’s biggest problem. John’s parents had died in a horrible accident that John’s powers caused when they first started to appear. He had never forgiven himself. John’s parents had been very conservative, hard-line Australian Anglicans. Kind of unusual, Bobby guessed, but anyway… Bobby figured it was their parenting that had molded John’s world outlook.
Everything was essentially either good or evil in John’s world, no matter how small or inconsequential the thing was. And the death of John’s parents was definitely something that John would have classified as evil. In John’s mind it was his fault they had died. He had been told by his mother not to play around with the candles and matches, but he didn’t listen. John never listened. And then his powers had manifested, John couldn’t control them all and his whole life burned to the ground around him without a hair on his head coming to harm.
John killed them. It was a horribly evil thing therefore and to John it meant that he must be inherently evil too. But not just regular evil, but the “Evil with a capital E” kind of evil. It explained a heck of a lot about John’s rebellious/antisocial personality traits. John believed he was inherently Evil, so clearly there was no point in pretending to be good; he’d only eventually fuck it up and hurt someone else he cared about. The fact that John was shoved from foster home to foster home only made things worse. It was no wonder that John had run away to live on the streets for a while.
So John played the jerk when everyone was looking, and then went out and did some random act of kindness when he thought that no one was watching. It was safe to do it then. The part of him that wanted to redeem himself, the part of John that knew he really was a good guy deep down beneath the charred heart. That part was kicking and screaming the whole time to be let out. But that would hurt John too much.
“Bobby!”
He blinked, realizing he had entered the living room. Rogue was standing there, looking at him. She looked upset. Jubes was next to her, but her eyes were glued to the television.
“What’s wrong, Rogue? Did something hap-“ Bobby stopped. There was a news report playing on the TV. On CNN.
“Five law enforcement officers in Philadelphia are in the hospital in critical condition today, suffering from severe second and third degree burns after a brutal mutant attack last night. After investigating a security report of a break in at a research laboratory at the University of Pennsylvania, officers reportedly chased a young man from the premises. After pursuing him for some distance, the officers were attacked. No civilian witnesses to the break-in, chase, or attack have come forward. According to one of the victims, the mutant apparently had been taken into custody by another police officer after the attack on the five injured, but the mutant never arrived at the station. No one knows who the officer was who had arrested the teen. A homeless man had found the charred, unconscious bodies of the five officers and promptly got help from the authorities. Anti-mutant groups around the country have been calling on the government to -“
Bobby shut the TV off, tossed the remote back down on the table and turned to leave the room.
“Bobby, wait.”
“No, Rogue.”
“But that could have been John!” Rogue insisted. Bobby stopped and turned around. Jubilee had sat down on the couch, looking dazed.
“No, not ‘it could have been’, Marie. That was John. And there is nothing we can do about it. He’s made his choices. I made mine. I stayed on the plane. With you. I’m here, he isn’t. Are you happy?” Bobby snapped.
“That’s not it, Bobby. I just¬-“
“Just what? Didn’t expect to see this happen? Look who he works for! Look at what he did at my house and in San Francisco last year! You really think that he would have any problem toasting a few cops? Or that the Brotherhood would only hurt people at big events like Alcatraz and the riots we’ve been putting down recently? You absorbed him in Boston, you probably know better than I do what he’s capable of!”
“No, you don’t understand. I just don’t… I don’t know Bobby. I’m just worried.“
“You didn’t have any problems facing off against him the last time we had to fight Magneto and his gang. You didn’t have any problem with it when he got off the fucking jet at Alkali Lake. Rogue, you didn’t even care enough to ask me about how I felt about it after I had to beat my best friend unconscious at Alcatraz! So why do you suddenly care now?”
“Bobby, he was my friend too! I always cared, even if he was a bit of a jerk sometimes. He was your best friend. I would have thought you’d want to know where he was and if he was okay.”
“I don’t,” Bobby said vehemently. “I don’t want to know about the number of people he’s hurt. I don’t want to know about him destroying buildings and taking lives. I don’t want to see how far he’s fallen. I want to remember my best friend, the person I knew. Not some psycho killer who eats babies while burning their helpless mothers at the stake, or whatever it is the human conservative right-wing media wants to characterize him as. So if everyone could just stop reminding me of all this bullshit, it would be much appreciated.”
“Bobby, come on.” Jubilee’s voice trying to calm him down.
“I’m serious. I don’t want to hear it.” He said, a little quieter. Rogue was near tears, and Jubilee was looking at him like he was the biggest asshole. Bobby sighed.
“Yeah, I’m being a prick. Sorry. I just… I can’t deal with this, okay? It’s my fault he left. Just leave me be. I’ll deal with it when I have to, but only then. Got it?” He didn’t give them time to answer, but quickly exited and ran up to his room. Bobby could use the alone time.
Fuck. Why did this shit always have to happen?
Bobby felt like an asshole for the way he’d spoken to Rogue and Jubilee. Yeah, he had been pretty insensitive. And why was he acting like this now? Why wasn’t he just turning it into a big joke about ‘roasted pigs’ and going for a disgusted look -or a horrified laugh if he was lucky- from his girls?
The reason was John, wasn’t it? This stuff had bothered Bobby before, but not like this. Maybe it was because before he let himself be angry at John. It was easy to blame John for leaving at first. To blame it on John’s need to burn stuff all the time, his irresponsibility, his upbringing, his irrepressible anger.
But now? Things had changed and they had changed a lot.
It had started as far back as that first meeting outside the Cure clinic. Even back then, Bobby had felt something stirring in him that made him angry, but not so much at John as at himself for letting all this happen.
Something inside Bobby believed deeply that he could have stopped John from leaving. Or at least prevented him from joining up with Magneto. He wanted to believe that. He needed to believe that. If only he’d followed John off the jet into that blizzard-
Bobby leaned back against the oak of the door to his room, tilting his head back. He let out a deep breath, which crystallized into a white frost-mist. His temperature was falling rapidly and his body was trembling slightly. With what? Rage? Fear? Self-hatred? Bobby didn’t know. Maybe all three. Maybe none of them. He swallowed, and then willed his temperature back up closer to normal. It wouldn’t do to freeze his room over now. He hadn’t felt his control slipping like this for at least a year, not since… Damn. How had he gotten so fucked up in the head?
Bobby frowned. What was going on with him? Since when was he the one with mental problems? Since when was he the one who needed help? Bobby didn’t know what to think about that. At least those dreams weren’t coming as frequently anymore. Jeez, it’s just not right to be dreaming about kissing your best friend, about wanting to feel him touching-
Bobby threw his head back against the door with a thud.
Oh man, things have gotten out of control.
Maybe the Professor was right when he had suggested he go talk to a counselor. Then again, what was talking about all this going to accomplish? If he couldn’t talk about it to his friends, why should he be shoving it off on some stranger? Besides, it’s not like could he talk about any of his issues without telling the person that he was a mutant.
No, that was still out of the question. So what if the Professor knew mutant-friendly counselors or counselors that were mutants. So what if he currently felt like tearing his room apart and he didn’t even really know why.
Bobby turned around and headed back out of his room. The gym or the danger room seemed like a good idea. The way he was feeling right now, a tough workout might be just what he needed to blow off some of this toxic steam.
Bobby stepped into the starkness of the hidden elevator and entered his passcode to get down to the subbasement. All the senior students who were on the junior team had been given one; a perk that the adults had given them in an effort to get them to train more if they wanted to. The elevator whirred quietly as it made the quick descent.
The subbasement was bereft of life, as it usually was late on Saturday afternoons, save during an emergency call. The Danger Room was usually open right now. Bobby quickly suited up into his X-men uniform and then walked back to the Danger Room’s control booth. The door slid open, revealing a couple of the teachers watching a session in progress. Dr. Grey turned around, no doubt sensing his presence telepathically.
“Oh, Bobby. Come in. Were you wanting to use the room? Justin’s been at it for over an hour now, so I’m sure he won’t mind finishing a little early,” she murmured. Bobby had completely forgot that Justin was coming down here after their tutoring session. Bobby had been so caught up in his thoughts about everything and -well, John.
Bobby shook his head. “That’s okay. I can come back later.” The gym would have to do for now. Besides, Justin probably needed the training more than Bobby did.
“No really, come on in. I’ll call him out as soon as he’s finished this program. I have a few things I need to talk with him about,” she insisted. Bobby walked in and took a seat on the right side of the room. Dr. McCoy was at the controls, and Jean was standing beside him watching the action in the room below.
Justin was currently trying to run away from one of the mechs. It was about twice the size of him. Bobby recognized it as the model that usually tried to smash him with its fists. He usually just froze its hydraulics so it couldn’t move. Justin didn’t have that luxury, though.
The machine was chasing him even faster than Bobby was used to them moving, but Justin didn’t seem to be having much trouble. Dr. McCoy played with something on the control computer and walls started to come up from the floor, restricting the space Justin had to run away from the machine. Soon, enough of them had come up, and Justin was running himself into a corner. The machine had him trapped. It lifted his massive arm to take a swing, and Bobby sighed. That would be the end of that exercise.
Suddenly, Justin jumped back towards the wall and propelled himself off it with a sharp kick. He went arcing up over the swing of the robot’s steel arms and onto the robot’s shoulders in a jump that would have been impossible for a normal human. Justin teetered for a second, but regained his balance. The robot swung its arm up, trying to knock Justin off, but he jumped down behind the robot just in time. Justin quickly turned and made a gesture as if he was shoving something. The top-heavy robot, slightly off balance from swinging its arms up at its head, toppled and crashed to the floor.
“Excellent work, Justin!” Dr. McCoy exclaimed over the PA system. Justin looked up towards the booth, breathing heavily. “I didn’t think you were going to make it out of that situation, but you’re ability to react quickly and adapt your powers to threatening situations is far exceeding our expectations for your level of training.” Justin nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “You still have a long way to go, but you are making excellent progress! We are going to let you off early today, especially after that last drill. Could you please come up here? Dr. Grey would like to have a word with you before you hit the showers.”
Justin gave an affirmative and headed towards the far doors. Dr. Grey also made her exit from the control room. Bobby stood up from his seat and walked over to Dr. McCoy. The blue-furred scientist was busy setting up another program.
“Uh Dr. McCoy?”
“Ah, yes Bobby? What would you like the room set for?”
“Ah, nothing in particular… maybe something with hand to hand combat.”
“Do holographic opponents work for you? I’d like to spend some time this evening working on the mechs. They are due for a good overhaul. You and your peers have been doing quite the number on their systems, I fear.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“Bobby, may I ask what brings you down here this afternoon?”
“Ah… just thought I’d blow off some steam. And Mr. Sum- Scott has been saying I’m falling behind everyone in training, so…”
“I see. Well, I have everything set up. I do believe you have about two hours before the room is booked for faculty use. Good luck.” Dr. McCoy got up and walked out of the room. Bobby turned and scanned the program that was set up. It looked simple enough. He really didn’t feel like having any other surprises today. Not after Rogue’s sudden decision that every time John or someone who could be John comes on the TV they should all sulk and talk about it.
She never really had understood how Bobby’s mind worked. Otherwise she never would have asked him to meet her and Jubilee. It was actually kind of surprising considering the number of times she’d absorbed a small piece of his mind while they kissed.
Bobby exited the room. He tried not to let his thoughts wander back to John again. If he was going to get anything at all accomplished with this session he couldn’t be distracted by sentimentality or longing.
Longing? Since when was he longing for-
Fuck.
Bobby shook his head, trying to get a grip on his psyche. He was about to turn down the hall that lead to the entrance to the Danger Room, but he heard Justin’s voice echoing out from Dr. Grey’s lab.
“I don’t know how I reacted so quickly- I just did. It was like… like I could feel the surface of the robot. I could feel the metal, without touching it. The closer it got to me, the more concrete the feeling was, but it never touched me.”
“Except when you jumped on it. That was telekinetically augmented, right?”
“Yeah. There’s no way I would have been able to do that normally.”
“I’m glad to see you’re learning how to apply your telekinesis to your own body. It took me a long time before I figured out how to do that.”
“But I still have trouble using it on everything else. I was actually surprised at how easy it was to use it on myself, once I got a feel for it...”
“We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. I was always much better at using my telekinesis on other objects. I don’t know what it was for me, but my mind used to feel really awkward ‘lifting myself’, as strange as that may sound.”
“I don’t think it sounds that strange. It’s weird, though. For me, it’s like there is a relationship between my abilities and how far away things are. Since my body is about as close as something can be it is easy to apply some force to propel myself some extra distance, or use it to help me lift heavier things.
“But actually moving other things that I’m not touching and doing fine work with it? I can’t even telekinetically write my name with a pencil yet. It’s all just unfocused force. You have a twelve year old here who flies whole squadrons of paper airplanes down the hall without hitting anyone and I can’t even life a couple suitcases for more than a minute or two without giving myself a massive headache!”
“That may be true, Justin, but I think that it’s just inexperience. Julian is only telekinetic, and he practices using it constantly, even when he should be studying in his classes. You’re not built to do the kinds of stuff he does. Your precognition and your empathy are more what your mutation has built you for.
“There is a big difference in the way psionic energy is converted and applied between telekinesis and the telepathic or empathic disciplines. Usually scientists divide psionic energy into ‘hard-psi’ for telekinetics and structural manipulators, and ‘soft-psi’ for telepathy, energy manipulators and psi-senses because of the theorized differences in the physics. It has something to do with the application of the energy against mass as a force in telekinesis, but you’d be better off asking Hank about it if you want to know more. Physics and bioenergetics is more his forte.
“You nervous system is built like a huge conduit or antenna for psionic energy in its non-telekinetic form. It’s part of the reason why you are such a strong precognitive. I can show you the differences in neural anatomy and physiology between yourself and several of the other psionics at the school if you are interested.”
“Yeah, that would be great,” Justin replied with interest.
“Now, that’s not to say that I don’t think you can’t improve your telekinesis. I think you still have a long way to go. The more you use your powers, the longer your range will be and the more readily you will be able to move other objects with precision and control. It just takes practice and concentration. If you think my level of psionic ability comes naturally, think again. I had to work hard for every ounce of skill and control that I’ve gained. But it’s worth it in the end. The harder I work, the less I have to worry about losing control ever again.
“But enough about me. We can talk about my experiences some other time. I’d rather talk about these new sensations from today. So this feeling, what is it like?”
“I don’t know. It feels like I’m touching the objects, but without touching them. I just… feel where they are. I feel their weight, their movement, their shape, their texture¬- if they are close enough, that is.”
“Hmm… I can’t say I’ve encountered that. I get a sort of feeling of objects when I’m concentrating on them using my telekinesis, but only if I concentrate on them. What you are describing is a much more detailed sensation. It’s almost like another kind of psionic telemetry. I think clairsentience is the word used for distant perception of ‘touch’ or other things like this. Maybe it is tied into your other precognitive abilities as another psi-sense. Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they are related. It would explain your fast reaction time down here. You’ve got a pretty rare talent in your precognitive abilities. In terms of clarity and detail, I’ve only ever met one other person in your ballpark. But she’s been missing for a few years now and was never all that friendly to us. It’s too bad that we don’t have someone like Irene Adler to train you.”
“Who’s that?”
“Well, she usually goes by the name Destiny. Professor Xavier thinks she’s the most powerful precognitive on the planet. He met her once. I guess she’s been blind since a very young age, but she can see with her mind because her precognition and telemetric abilities are so strong. You’ve told me before that your visions sometimes present you with multiple scenarios, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s only happened a couple times.”
“Destiny has most if not all of her visions that way. She was always very mysterious, though, and was associated with Mystique on a number of occasions before she disappeared. I think I may have a chat with the Professor to see if we can find someone else who might be able to help you with your precognition better than either of us can. We should run some tests on those touch-like feelings you’ve been getting sometime later this week too, if you are up to it.”
“I guess… I only really get that feeling when I’m down here training. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s a lot quieter down here from a psionic standpoint.”
“That does make sense. Less ‘background noise’ distracting you from your psionic senses. I think you might be right about that. We’ll probably find out as you get better at controlling your empathy, blocking out unnecessary background details, and focusing on specific sensations you are getting. Alright, go have a shower.”
“Dr. Grey?”
“Yes?”
“Why am I the only one here who trains alone?”
“Oh Justin, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were worried about that.”
“Not really… But it’s not exactly helping me get to know anyone my age, as you keep saying I should do.”
“Justin, I-“
“Don’t worry about it. I know it’s not safe for me to be training with them till we can keep those psionic outbursts under control. Sorry. I know you can’t risk having me accidentally hurt someone else again. I’m just being whiny… Pay no attention. Just forget I brought it up.”
“Justin¬-“
Bobby heard the door shut and the sound of Justin’s footsteps quickly coming this way from around the corner. Embarrassed that he had been eavesdropping, he quickly turned and headed into the Danger Room. As soon as the door had locked tightly shut behind him, he gave the command for his session to begin.
“Computer, start current uploaded hand-to-hand combat program. Level 17.”
The danger room hummed as the photon generators warmed up. The cold, blue-grey metal faded from view as the outline of buildings and cars formed before his eyes and then merged into existence. This was always one of Bobby’s favourite things about the mansion. They had some of the best technology in the world, and of all the amazing things, the way reality just faded into something else here in the danger room never ceased to both impress and disorient Bobby.
“Program commencing. Simulant Level 17. Scenario rules: Use of powers is forbidden. Hand to hand combat only. Simulant fighting styles vary individually and randomly. All safeties engaged.”
Bobby whirled and blocked a punch as the first simulant approached him from behind as soon as the computer finished rattling off the rules. Hank must have heard Logan’s griping about Bobby’s lacking hand-to-hand combat skills. Logan seemed to think that it made Bobby a liability on the field, ice-armored or not.
Bobby quickly finished off the first round of attackers, and the computer began cycling up the difficulty to closer to his ability level. Level 17 was just a nice place to start for a warm-up. As things got harder and the punches and kicks came faster Bobby began to lose himself in the program.
Dodge. Block. Twist. One, two, punch. Jump back, knock out their legs. Block. Jump. Twist. Kick back, duck, uppercut.
He fought on and on, forgetting, directing his frustration, his anxiety, his stress and everything else that was bothering him into the blows he was dishing out to his holographic opponents. Wave after wave, he knocked each one unconscious. But as the difficulty continued to ramp up, things started getting messier and less controlled. Bobby stopped caring about how he was knocking the opponents unconscious. This was usually when Scott would stop him and start lecturing about how the X-men didn’t fight like that and how important it was to do as little damage as possible.
Logan would usually grumble something about those ideals being nice and quaint but useless if you wanted to survive. And Bobby agreed, somewhat. A couple years ago he never would have agreed with Logan, but after everything he’d seen he was starting to be not so sure anymore of all the things he’d learned at this school.
Bobby was taking much longer to finish off his opponents now. They were about equally skilled to him. This was what he needed to overcome. He could do it. He knew he was better. Better than these, at least.
“Level 27 complete. Engaging Level 28. Scenario change: Simulants represent approximated fighting styles of current and former X-men adversaries. Scenario rules: Use of powers is forbidden. Hand to hand combat only. Simulant opponents will be similarly handicapped. All safeties engaged.”
Bobby was sweating profusely now. He’d never made it beyond Level 27 yet. He’d thought this program was just a trainer, not an opponent simulator. He was about to disengage the programming when a holographic version of Toad took him by surprise and drop kicked him across the holographic street.
Bobby picked himself up off the ground and engaged his opponent. It was eerie how similar the simulant behaved compared to the real Toad. Bobby was trying his best, but he kept getting knocked down. Even without the use of his tongue and super jumps, holographic Toad was kicking his ass. Bobby knew if he could use his powers, he’d be doing much better, even if this simulant version was watered down compared to what the real Toad could do in close combat. But the rules were the rules, and Bobby knew that if this session was going to be worth anything he’d have to stick to them.
After five tries at taking Toad out, the computer announced that Bobby had failed the level. Bobby requested another try, and the computer presented him with Avalanche this time. Bobby smiled. This should be a little easier. Avalanche was a poor fighter up close. From the couple times they had tangled, Bobby knew he just had to get in a few well placed punches and then he’d-
Bobby grimaced, his hand coming up to his now-aching jaw as he dodged out of the simulant’s range. Okay, so the computer was making Avalanche a better hand-to-hand fighter than he was in real life. But Bobby could still beat him.
And he was right. He did beat simulant-Avalanche. It took him fifteen minutes of pushing himself to the limit, but in the end he managed to topple the computer generated opponent. Bobby smirked slightly as he bent at the waist trying to catch his breath.
“Computer, end- ooof!!”
A foot connected with Bobby’s ass, sending him sprawling. Bobby groaned deeply as he face-planted down onto the holographic street.
“Come on Drake, are you seriously that shitty at fighting? You’re just as pathetic as usual. I don’t know how you ever made X-man.”
That voice.
Bobby flipped over, giving the simulant-John standing in front of him a cold glare. The danger room computer sure had a sick sense of humor. It was almost as if it knew exactly how to make Bobby feel like shit just as soon as he’d done better than he ever had before at this exercise.
Simulant-John was smirking down at him smugly. “Are you going to get up and fight me like a man, or did those hippie ideals they’ve been feeding you turn into too much of a pussy, Ice-ass?”
Bobby got up, willing himself to not get upset. This wasn’t real. It was just a simulation. The danger room was programmed to know their weaknesses, and it knew that he and John had always been about equally matched. And it knew John’s personality from all the sessions they’d had so many years ago. That was all this was.
“You might have won last time, but that was only because you took me by surprise. You don’t have the benefit of your powers this time, Boy Scout Bobby. And we both know who’s better in a fistfight. You might as well just get on your knees and beg.”
“Never.”
Simulant-John’s smirk widened. “We’ll see about that.”
The two lunged at each other. It began just like any other fistfight Bobby and John had ever had. Blows connected messily with ribs, with jaws, with cheeks, and soon enough they were grappling. They tumbled to the ground as usual.
More blows were traded back and forth as they rolled back and forth, struggling for dominance. The struggle seemed to go on and on, evenly matched blow for blow. As Bobby felt his strength waning from the strain of the session he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever be able to get passed this.
No, he wouldn’t be held back. Not even by Johnny.
Bobby wrenched their bodies to the left with all his strength and pinned Johnny to the ground underneath him. Bobby grasped his wrists and held them down over his head, a position Johnny had always been weaker with. Johnny struggled, strongly enough that he almost broke free, but Bobby wouldn’t have it.
He’d win. He had to. He needed to stop this. He needed to-
“You dumbass, you used your powers!”
Bobby looked down into the dark blue eyes, sparkling with the mirth of victory. He pulled his frost-coated hands off Johnny’s frozen-together wrists and stared at the smirking face below him dumbly.
“Situation rules broken. Simulation failure. End of simulation.”
Bobby trembled as the hologram faded away around him, and the smirking face beneath him dissolved into nothingness. The floor of the danger room was coated in a thick frost that was quickly growing into a sheet of ice.
Tears washed out his vision, freezing on their way to the ground and then shattering.
He failed. He failed again.
And more than just failing, something else bothered Bobby more than he could even comprehend. Something that was straining at the tight leather armor, begging him for release.
Bobby had never been so hard in his entire fucking life.
And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to hate it.
He liked it.
He fucking liked it.