(no subject)
i find it incredible to think that one year ago today, valentines day, i woke up huddled alongside her in our mess of sleeping bags strewn across my living room carpet. i remember clearly lying beside her, studying the tranquility on her face and the rise and fall of her chest and the way she curled into herself for warmth for five, fifteen, thirty minutes, and how even though i knew she was not mine to touch and never would be, i would have laid there indefinitely, just to watch this beautiful girl whom i loved so much resting in such a state of peace, and knowing that she was safe. i never dreamt that my best valentines day ever would be spent without a lover or a date or romance, or that it would take place just a day after being diagnosed with cancer, or that it would follow such a harsh crash of unrequited love, but it did and it was fantastic. and now i find it hard to believe there was even ever such a time anymore, it seems so distant and unimaginable now. why? what happened?