New York
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@@@livejournal.com
Summary: Xander is thirty-seven. Divorced. Two kids. 4000 miles from Sunnydale and his Hellmouth childhood. Also, straight. Only someone forgot to tell Giles. In fact... where the hell is Giles?
It's 36C/97F in my house. Which is fine, I love the heat, but it is... one o'clock in the morning. I would like to simply lie in a puddle and watch White Collar, but I have selflessly dragged my melty self to the computer to provide you with Giles/Xander weekend reading.
Rated R for sex.
Thanks to gloriana and antennapedia for incredibly helpful mid-construction betas, and lunabee for final checking on the run.
The Buffy universe is the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Borrowed with all due love and respect.
Please ask before archiving.
Feedback is scientifically proven to assist Giles and Xander to mate in captivity.
Full headers are on chapter one. Wordcount this part: 3895.
Previously, in chapter 6:
Mary was unimpressed to find a piece of Xander's scary mysterious past playing Monopoly with her daughters. Giles realised how much his English friends and family must have aged in his absence, and finally began to talk about his otherworld vacation.
New York
Chapter 7: Whistling
by Dr Squidlove
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Jen would have just stayed in the bathroom crying until she calmed down enough to call Mary, but Kate being Kate had to come straight out and announce it along with a refresher of everything I'd been repressing since Mrs Cotter's biology class. So of course, I had to pretend it was all no big deal for a dad to know all the new intimate womanly workings of his daughter's body."
Giles chuckled helplessly, and Xander covered his eyes.
"I've seen Mary through two pregnancies, and I've crossed into some pretty non-guy territory, but for the first time in my life I found myself in the women's stuff aisle at the supermarket, trying to decide what a twelve year-old girl needs, and suddenly boys didn't seem like such a bad idea, after all."
Giles' handkerchief came out to wipe his eyes, and Xander started laughing as well. He gouged a spoonful of ice cream out of the carton, big enough to make his teeth freeze.
"It sounds terrifying."
"Ekshactly!" Xander threw up his hands, almost losing his spoon. "Mary didn't get it. She didn't see what the fuss was about! Do you have any idea how many different kinds of girl-things there are?"
"Thankfully, no."
There. Xander always knew a guy would understand. He'd definitely been in need of a guy in his girly universe.
Giles was still chuckling in little bursts, making the couch shake, and of course he'd moved on to cleaning his glasses. Except for the grin, this used to be Xander's dictionary picture of 'very old'. The grey, receding hair, the lines around his eyes. Now Giles didn't seem very old at all.
"Did you ever want kids?" Xander asked, suddenly. He'd never wondered before if Giles had any plans other than them. Buffy.
Giles seemed startled. "No, I..." He thought as he carved out a more British portion of ice cream. "I suppose I did. I never really planned, as such. I think I assumed that if I found a partner, everything else would follow in its own way." The way he used past tense was kinda sad, like he'd already given up on the idea. "Once Buffy came into my life, the idea faded. Buffy seemed like enough." He shifted the carton to the coffee table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "What about you? Is this what you dreamed of?"
That was the trouble with breaking personal barriers. Somehow, though, it was getting easier to talk. "It's what I dreamed of with Anya. Not the divorce part, obviously. No one plans to be a weekend dad when they grow up." He shrugged. "I wasn't ready with Anya, and it all went to hell. I was even less ready with Mary, but she got pregnant, and being ready wasn't really important anymore."
"Life rarely goes according to plan."
"It was good for a while. Mary's great. I don't want you to think... I mean, I would have married her eventually, just, later. I sometimes think... you never know, it's never one thing, but..." Xander trailed off. He was apologising again, and not even for something that had anything to do with Giles. Maybe he could have kept it together if he'd been able to tell Mary about Sunnydale, or maybe then he just wouldn't have something that neat to blame it on. He didn't want to dissect his marriage.
"Xander - do you think I'm disappointed in you?" Something in Giles' tone caught Xander's attention.
"No!" He realised that was a lie as soon as he said it. "Maybe."
There was a long pause, long enough that Xander actually wondered if Giles was considering listing the disappointments. "You've got two beautiful girls who adore you. You've built a life for yourself. You've survived a divorce and come out the other end with a friendship. None of those are easy things."
Xander wasn't going to remind him about the whole running away from Sunnydale thing. Not when he could just bask in the warm glow for the rest of it.
Giles looked away, staring at the blank TV as he said softly, "Believe me, Xander. I'm impressed."
Xander's cheeks warmed. "That means a lot. Coming from you, I mean." It was way above what he'd expected. "It's getting late."
Giles looked at him again, strangely, and then twisted to see the clock on the bookcase. "Very late, for someone who has to be up at six."
Xander didn't really want to go to bed. Giles was going in a couple of days, and Xander could have stayed up for hours as long as the conversation wandered in a new direction. But he didn't have algebra to nap through like he did after the research marathons in the library in high school.
Giles followed him into the kitchen with their coffee cups from three hours ago and then propped himself against the cupboard. He looked at home, hands shoved in his pockets, perfectly relaxed.
Xander loaded the cups into the dishwasher, grabbed the plates and forks out of the sink and bent back down to the drawer. "Did you see where I put the plate from-"
A hand rested on his back as Giles reached past him. Only just on his back, so low it was almost his upturned butt, palm on the bump of his spine, fingers stretched out towards his left hip. There was a serving plate in front of him in Giles' other hand. The plate he'd been asking for. Right.
Xander took it clumsily, grabbing it with both hands, trying to remember where he'd just made space for it.
Giles' hand pressed as he moved back, and then it was gone, leaving a strange electric tingle.
"Thanks." Xander dropped the plate in a gap and pushed the drawer shut and stood, turning to see if Giles had noticed the weird moment.
He'd been right behind him, so suddenly they were nose-to-nose. Xander had never got such a good look at Giles' eyes before: they were mostly green but a little brown. Xander was staring. "Sorry." Xander edged sideways, wishing he hadn't swallowed so many awkward pills. "I told you I'd be late tomorrow, right?"
"Drinks with work." Was it his imagination, or did Giles look disappointed?
"Yeah, I won't stay long, just, it's Carson's birthday, so-"
"Of course, it's fine."
"Do you want to meet up for a drink after? One last night on the town, drinking it up with a former student before you head back to face the Council?"
That got a smile. "I'd like that. Our faux-English pub?"
Drinks at the Landsman got going at five, forty-five minutes there, forty-five minutes commute just to be safe... "Six-thirty?"
"If that's not too early-"
"It's a date."
Giles gave a slow nod. "All right, then."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ten minutes later, Xander stared at his reflection while he brushed his teeth.
The place where Giles' hand had rested still tingled. Xander wondered if it was a magic-thing, but Willow never left a charge, and he'd touched her plenty of times. In fact, he'd hugged Giles when Giles left the first time, and he didn't remember anything weird about it.
It didn't seem like a magic-sort of tingle.
Even so, as he stripped off for bed, Xander couldn't help glancing in the mirror to see if Giles had somehow left a mark.
Nope, just plain, pale butt, and the crinkle-print from the elastic of his shorts.
Maybe Xander just needed to get out on a date.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Most of the crew were gathered around Carson's table. Eric and Radek were sketching out plans for a tree house on piles of napkins, debating the best structural points for the load-bearing beams. Kelly and Diaz were arguing union politics by the dartboard. For some reason, Toby was headed for Xander's table.
"I'm just having a quick one today, Toby. I've got a friend staying." He waved his one and only bottle.
"Ha!" Toby hopped up on a stool and swung around to face the bar, propping his elbows back on the table. "That's a tenner, Pearson!"
"Huh?"
"Bollocks!" Pearson yelled back. "Gimme a second." Xander's lanky boss swiped his phone and then wound his way through the crowd, pitcher in one hand, stack of glasses in the other.
Toby grinned at Xander. "I knew it. You've been smiling like a man up to no good."
Pearson's glasses banged down on the table. "It's true? You got yourself a lass, Harris?"
"What? No." How did Giles get cast as a girlfriend?
"'Bout fecking time."
"Told you, man. Whistling. Only the recently-laid whistle."
"A girl?" Sam popped up at his elbow, looking indignant. "You didn't tell me? I thought we were men, Xander. I thought we shared manly things."
"No! There's no girl. No girlfriend."
"You're full of shite, Tobes." Pearson snatched back the ten dollar bill he'd been offering to Toby and put out his hand for another one.
"You said you had-"
"A friend staying. An old friend's in town. A guy friend."
"Boyfriend?" Toby suggested, not ready to reach for his wallet.
"Friend. A friend with no romantic or pornographic intentions whatsoever. A pal."
"That's a damned shame."
"Wait. Pearson, you bet ten bucks I didn't have a girl?"
Pearson looked shamefaced, but he didn't have a comeback. Great.
"I had faith in you, Harris." Toby flicked his Hamilton across the table. "Fat lot of good you did me."
Xander gulped his beer. "You and the site super are having bets on my romantic life." He didn't know whether to be more bothered by the attention or that he was so pathetic that him having any life didn't even rate odds.
Toby pushed an empty glass over for Pearson to fill. "You've been unnaturally jolly all week. Got to be something up. Guessed it was your cock."
"He's right," Sam said. "You laughed at Pearlman's jokes. Not natural at all."
"I did?"
"You encouraged him, you bastard. We'll all pay for that." Pearson shook his head and poured himself another beer.
After a few more minutes trashing Xander's sex life, Toby and Pearson drifted off to Carson's table to offer birthday punches, and Sam planted her chin in her hand, looking up through innocent eyes. "You know, if you'd let me-"
"No." Xander raised a finger. "First rule among men: we don't set each other up on dates. If you're gonna be one of the guys, you don't get to do that."
She screwed up her nose. "It was Pete who said she'd be perfect for you."
"No."
"Chicken." She slouched back on her stool, and Xander tried not to look disappointed. He always said no because that's what you were supposed to say, but he kind of hoped she'd push. Nag a little, the way all the other women in his life did, so he could eventually cave and go out on a date. It wasn't like he was any good at getting himself a social life.
He really did need a girlfriend if having Giles around was making him whistle. If he could still feel the exact shape of Giles' hand every time he remembered the touch.
"Fine. Who's your pick for the FA World Cup?"
She was far too good at being a guy. "That's soccer, right?"
She lifted her hands, clueless. "I think so. So who's this friend visiting?"
Xander grabbed a handful of pretzels for time to think. He didn't need to make a thing of keeping his past secret for work; guys didn't dig all that deep. Didn't mean he was going to tell Sam things he wouldn't tell Mary. "Someone I knew back in high school. Haven't seen him in years."
"You should have brought him. We could have badgered him for Xander Harris, the early years."
"My early years are classified."
"Uh-huh."
"Seriously. There's a government file. It's marked never to be re-opened."
"Uh-huh."
"I helped bring down a secret government initiative to build a race of super-beings. They were pissed."
"Drink your beer, Xander Harris."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Xander got to the Turk's Head early to find Giles had already staked out a booth in a dark corner, and had two foamy beers waiting. Nice.
He slid in, and they smiled at each other. Xander wondered what Giles would think if he knew how completely obsessed Xander was with that stupid touch from last night.
"How was work?
Xander pulled the bowl of peanuts closer. "Great. Turns out the guys have been taking bets all week about my sex life." As soon as he said it, he wished he hadn't. Giles didn't need to know how pathetic he was.
"Really." Giles popped a peanut in his mouth. "What did you tell them?"
Xander shrugged. "It's a bunch of macho guys. I try not to feed them too many details about my life."
"I can understand that."
"How was your day?"
Giles took a careful sip. "Good, good. I picked up the rest of the papers I need. I'm all set for my flight out tomorrow afternoon."
Oh. No surprise delays, then. "I wish you could have another week here. After the way I acted when you showed up last Thursday, it really didn't turn out the way I expected."
Giles looked at him oddly. "No." He picked up a coaster and turned it in his fingers. "It certainly hasn't been what I expected, either."
"So now, I know you'll have to stay in London to get everything sorted out, but do you know when you'll head to LA? I suppose you'll have to talk to Tara first, find out the deal with everyone."
"She still hasn't called?"
"The place where she is, it's kind of a retreat. Middle of nowhere. It sounds like they only pick up their mail once a week, so I guess it'll be soon." Xander didn't know why he was babbling, but he seemed to be doing it a lot lately. "You're kind of nervous about seeing Buffy, aren't you?" Funny, he would never have dreamed of asking Giles something like that a few days ago.
He looked down at the table. "Is it so obvious?"
"Hey, you never know. She might be as happy to see you as I was."
"One can only hope." He heaved a little sigh. "I have no idea what to expect, except that anything I expect I'm sure will be wrong."
"She's just gonna be glad you're alive."
"She was angry when I left."
"Yeah," Xander said, softly. "We all were."
Giles turned his glass around and around. "I really did think it was for the best."
"We couldn't understand that. Not until we had kids of our own, anyway." Xander traced a condensation ring on the table. "It's tough, letting them fall over. Or go out of your sight."
"You've all been angry with me for sixteen years. That's a lot of resentment to overcome."
"I don't know. Maybe she did get over it."
Giles watched him carefully. "You don't think she would have searched for me?"
Yeah. Xander was pretty sure she would have. "Maybe she did. I haven't been there; I don't know what she's been doing."
Giles gave a little 'hmph'.
Xander would have heard if Buffy had known Giles had disappeared. Mad or not, if she'd bothered to look hard enough to find out her watcher had been sucked off the face of the earth, she'd have raised every kind of hell.
"She's going to be an altogether different person," Giles said, at last. "She's going to be a grown woman."
"No older than me. And I turned out okay."
"Yes." Giles sounded extra-sincere. He slouched back in his seat, letting out a breath. "I know it will be fine. I know it will be wonderful. I just need to get through the first meeting."
"You'll be fine as soon as you see her."
He cheered a little at that. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"
"No thanks. I'm a mild-mannered east coast guy now." He may have enjoyed this little escape with Giles, but he wasn't ready for the rest of them. He wasn't ready to let go either. "Maybe you can stop by on your way back through to California?"
Giles' smile was startling. "I'd like that." He pushed his glass aside, laying his hands flat on the table. "I've, I've had a lovely week. I'm glad I had this time to, to, to adjust. With you."
"Me too." Xander sat forward, deciding they'd covered enough grim and depressing. "Was I New York enough? Did I show you my city and gloat?"
Giles smiled. "It's not bad for something built last week."
It struck Xander, as they started hashing out the merits of New York versus London, that they'd talked more this week, about more things, than they had in five and a half years back in Sunnydale. Even counting the first few months out of high school when Xander spent way too much time at Giles' house until Anya took over his life. Who would have guessed that Giles got claustrophobic under skyscrapers or that he'd spent a year in Paris?
It didn't seem like all that much time had passed when the light bounced off Giles' watch. Xander reached over and picked up Giles' wrist, turning it for a better look. "Oh, shit."
"Is it late?" Giles asked, not bothering to take his hand back to check for himself.
"I really don't know how I'm doing all this whistling at work on three hours sleep."
"Whistling?"
"So they tell me." Giles was shipping out tomorrow, and Xander didn't want the night to end. He let go of the watch and drained his glass. "Come on."
They picked up their coats at the door. Giles got stuck halfway into his, and Xander gave up knotting his scarf to help, used to stuffing the girls into their jackets. It was probably some kind of faux paus because Giles flushed and muttered a strained thank you at the floor. Fine. Xander stepped away and pulled the door open, bracing as the first gust of wind swept in, and then following Giles out.
Giles headed left.
"Wait." Xander caught Giles' elbow to turn him back and suddenly Giles was in front of him, gripping Xander's elbows for balance. There was the most intense look on his face, like he was trying to remember Xander's name. It made Xander self-conscious, especially with how close he was, and his hand came up to Giles' chest. It took Xander a second to remember why he'd stopped him. He looked up and down the street. They'd be better off pinging cabs on Eighth. "Let's get home."
Giles looked around as well and pulled back with a warm smile. "Lead on." His hand lingered on Xander's arm for the first few steps, almost until it got weird, and then it dropped. They were walking close enough to brush against each other. Xander wanted Giles to put his hand back. He missed him already. Even if Giles stopped in on his way to see Buffy, it wasn't going to be like this. Not this comfortable. Not a whole week of hanging out. It made Xander want to hold on to him, just to keep him close.
"What are they doing?"
Xander glanced up the street to see a couple making out against the rail of the subway entrance. "Once upon a time, I might have believed you were old enough not to recognise that."
As soon as he finished the sentence, what Xander was seeing shifted in his mind like one of those old magic eye puzzles, and he realised the woman wasn't sucking the guy's mouth.
Xander's stomach plummetted to his knees. Oh god.
Distantly, he felt a hand close on his arm in warning, but thanks very much, already caught on.
He wanted to just keep on walking. The guy was probably already half-drained, nobody would know. Xander could just keep on pretending he was one of those people who didn't see.
"Do you have-"
"Yeah." Maybe if Giles wasn't there, he might have, but now he didn't have a choice. He pulled a stake out of his pocket. "You?"
"Habit of a lifetime."
Xander's hands were shaking, and the wood was loose in his cold fingers. He didn't do this anymore. He couldn't do it anymore.
Giles went straight for her back like she wouldn't know he was coming, and her foot connected with his jaw and he went reeling.
Xander was still rooted to the spot but she dropped her victim and came for him. Something sprung up the subway stairs and suddenly there were two of them. Two vamps against Giles and Xander. They were dead men.
Xander managed to block a couple of punches before the vampire chick got serious, and then he was useless. Blows rained on him. He'd totally lost track of Giles. He was just rolling with it, dodging what he could and absorbing the rest, not caring about anything but keeping the stake in his fist. This was how it ended, and Buffy wasn't coming to save him. A knee in his gut and a fist to his shoulder and he rolled back, ass over head, a brutal kick to his back drove a grunt out of him as he went. His girls would never know what happened to him.
His feet hit the ground and he threw himself forward into her, there was a puff and he was falling into empty space, breathing dust. He hit the ground hard, face in a freezing puddle. He couldn't get up. There was scuffling and thudding and grunts behind him, Giles needing him, but he couldn't move. Sucking in one breath after another took everything he had. It was back. Everything he'd hidden from for all these years had caught up with him, and he was being dragged back into the underworld.
"Xander!" Giles had to say it again before Xander struggled up on jello legs. Giles was pinned on his back, hands around the throat of the vampire. His face was boiling red with the strain of keeping it away from his neck.
"Xander!" His elbows bent further with his cry.
Startled, Xander lurched forward, no plan in mind, but just as fast as the kick that started it all, he was thrown to the ground, and the vamp was heavy on his back, and his stake was rolling away across the sidewalk, plink-plink into the gutter louder than the growl in his ear. Knees in his back, foul breath across his cheek, and then there was a thud and he was free as Giles tackled it.
They went sprawling into the wall, and Xander jumped back on his feet just in time to see two more coming at them. A body shoved hard into him and he went back, way back. He had a split-second to wonder where the ground went when his shoulder hit the sharp edge of stair, and they were rolling together down the steps into the subway, bashing elbows and ribs and jarring his teeth in his head until they hit the ground.
Xander had always known on some level that he was going to die fighting. He'd known it since the moment Jesse first bared his teeth.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
end chapter 7
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