Filtered to Spectre, Flynn, Renee, Serenity, Leon, Noah and Tristan

[drownbythebeach]

Oh holy shit. Holy SHIT.

I just had sex. With a nineteen year old.

I haven't done that in...

Shit. SHIT. Oh, shit.

Comments

[rubyredstained]

Godric, are you alright?

[drownbythebeach]

NO! I'm not supposed to... ARGH I'm not... I don't sleep with people!

[rubyredstained]

I know, honey, but maybe it's a good thing?

[drownbythebeach]

I don't know! I don't know what to do now!

[hereprophetslie]

Godric, you're not...

You weren't hurt, were you?

[drownbythebeach]

No, no. Not again.

It was with a rather lovely boy who I think of as one of my very close friends. I don't think he was expecting it either, but we have wine and we spent hours just talking and I was so relaxed and I just...kissed him. And it felt nice because I haven't kissed anyone in years, and so I kept kissing him and it just went on and on and it didn't stop until...well. The inevitable stopping point.

It wasn't bad, Noah. Not like that time at all. It was just... I can't believe I did it is all.

[hereprophetslie]

So this boy is a boy you trust?

[drownbythebeach]

Absolutely. It's not him I'm having an issue with. And if it was, I wouldn't have let his housemate see this, let alone his uncle...

I guess...six years in a long time and for it just to happen and not even with someone I've been dating... It was a bit of a headspin.

[myeyesarehollow]

I'm sorry to say I missed something here. Is it okay to ask...what?

[drownbythebeach]

Of course it is. I'm calmer now too, so it'll make more sense...

When I had just turned 17 (meaning like...a day after my birthday) I went out to a club with a fake ID, thinking I was the coolest thing ever in the world. I let guys buy me drinks, which is always stupid... I was as drunk as anything, and then I had one sip of a drink that was certainly laced with something. I didn't like the drink so I didn't have the rest of it, but it was enough. I was raped behind the club, and I had to call Noah to come help me. Poor thing didn't know what to do, but he helped me anyway

[myeyesarehollow]

I'm so sorry, Godric. That must have been horrible. Obviously...

I'm glad that this happened with someone you can trust. Julian's a good guy. One of the best, actually. If you want to talk, I'm here.

[drownbythebeach]

Thanks, saviour!Flynn!

[seminalsemiotic]

To be honest, I could see this coming. Even despite everything. Sometimes, girls just know these things.

It sounds like from what you've been saying to the others, you're coming to a point of equilibrium with this. That's good. I think another thing that's important to be said, is that the fact that this happened once doesn't mean Julian's going to pressure you for it to happen again. He's not that guy. You're still as safe with him as you always were, if not moreso. It's going to be okay. And I really think you're going to be okay too, honey.

[drownbythebeach]

You could see this coming?! Me and Julian?! Oh. Yeah, I didn't. I mean, he's wonderful, but...I never considered it because I don't consider that.

I know Julian wouldn't. He's wonderful. It was just...really shocking. I broke through six years of 'please don't touch me' with one conversation and half a bottle of wine.

[seminalsemiotic]

Well, not quite this, in terms of how quickly it happened. But I could definitely see the connection, and I could see that it was more than platonic. But still, we're usually the last people to realise when we're the ones involved *smiles*

It's amazing what the right person can do!

[drownbythebeach]

I suppose that's true? Yeah, I have no frame of reference...

Is that what he was? Is. Was. Oh god.

[in_spectre_mors]

If there's one thing I know, Godric, it's that Littletons are often the very best people for helping us with our wounds. I understand the sort of thing you went through. I've been there. And I couldn't have come back from that without the Littletons. To have all the support in the world while you deal with this turning point, and there can be no doubt that it is that, you've come to the right place.

[drownbythebeach]

My natural inclination, thanks to the groups I run and my weekly therapy session, is to talk these things out. Especially where I know I'm supported. Maybe that was how it happened int he first place. I just felt so at ease just talking and it led to other things.

I feel too like he might feel like I took advantage of him because he just got dumped, but I really, really didn't go there to do this!

[in_spectre_mors]

And a superb natural inclination it is! I'm very glad you know you're supported, Godric. I know what an invaluable thing that is.

I can't imagine Julian thinking that of the situation, but it's good to see it here, too!

[drownbythebeach]

Both supported and supportive. It was my therapists idea for me to run the groups. She was totally right too. People need people who understand.

I hope not. God, I really, really didn't mean it that way.