"Confused...."

[droid18]

It's weird that my wife and I have had a lot of time together the past few days, more than usual,in fact I took her to a movie last night, totally on a whim. I finished my last drum lesson of the day, and it was still early, so I called her up and said, 'Hey ya wanna go see a movie tonight

Comments

[karmakeys]

Hey sweetie - the thing about depression is that it's irrational. It does not make sense, and it's really hard for someone who hasn't experienced it to understand. It's different than sadness or grief. You can't just "get over it", or cheer yourself up. It's an illness. You didn't feel guilty that she felt sick and needed a gallbladder operation a couple of years ago, did you? You shouldn't feel guilty that she'd like some professional help with depression now. It really is the same kind of thing, the treatment just takes a hell of a lot longer.

It is IN NO WAY YOUR FAULT that someone you love is depressed. Let me say that again. It is IN NO WAY YOUR FAULT that someone you love is depressed. You aren't doing anything wrong. Believe it, live with it! (yes, I'm getting bossy!) Depression is tough on relationships for both parties. You feel responsible for her feelings, she feels responsible for your feelings about her feelings, it's a cycle that can get ugly. Having another source for help in the mix is the best thing

addendum

[karmakeys]

This is not to say that your feelings aren't perfectly natural and understandable. You guys love each other very much, and truly want the best for each other. That's the thing to hang on to.

[jasonr_]

this is just IMHO. I've been Married twice, seriously depressed twice, and have had some really bad relationships in between. I've been the best mate I knew how to be when my significant other at the time cried daily for two years

[elliedee]

You're doing just what you said. You're spreading yourself too thin. You guys took on several ENORMOUS life-changing things in a span of about six or eight months. You know when you take the stress test and you have to check off the life-changing events you've had in the last year? You guys got married and purchased and moved into your first home. Those things are numbers 4, 5, and 6 on the list of most stressful life events. Only death of a spouse, divorce, and having a baby are more stressful.

Maybe some of the things that are demanding your time right now aren't really as important as they seem though I know it's hard to see that in the moment when everything is going, "Look at me!!!" There's a great book called, The Ten Natural Laws of Time and Life Management which has some awesome practical approaches to dealing with just what you're talking about in terms of the time crunch thing. It has some good ways to sort out what you really need to do versus what you can put off or tell to sod off