Vanquishing the Bathroom Monster, Part 5
Do you ever notice that when it comes to people who need to lose weight, you kind of lose all sense of personal space?
Yeah, that fatty that takes up all the space in the airplane/movie/whatever seat next to me! Fat fat fatties!
Nope, not what I'm talking about today.
I'm talking about the way all sorts of conversational boundaries begin to disappear when someone is on a plan to lose weight. Now, in a way, this makes total sense. According to the CDC, the obesity rate is above 20% in every single state but one (and D.C.). In my own lovely state of Virginia, the obesity rate in 2009 was at an even 25% (::gasps:: I did research!).
Now, if at least a fifth (or a quarter) of the people around are overweight, your chances of being one of them are pretty good. And it stands to reason that if you see someone looking thinner, you want to know what their secret is. Because after all, it must be magic! I eat all the right things, I exercise, I think happy thoughts and I am still not in that Never-Neverland of Skinniness. Tell me now, I MUST KNOW! But does that mean as soon as you tell someone you're watching your weight, it becomes everyone's business?
To illustrate my point I'll use a slightly uncomfortable experience from the other day. I was speaking to someone who complimented my weight loss and the way I looked. I responded pleasantly, with my practiced little Hair-Toss-Head-Lift-Smile. This person has asked me about my 'secrets' before and I've answered, but they chose to ask me again. I answered again, and then this person went a few steps further: How much weight have you lost? How much weight do you still have to lose? Why? You don't look that big. What's the healthy weight for your height?
I could almost see this person doing the math in their head to determine how heavy I'd been when I started. That made me feel very awkward. And despite the fact that they qualified with "You don't look that big," it made me feel really fat. For the first time in forever I don't feel all that fat (and I say that with a lot of weight left to lose!), so that was almost aggravating.
It's also aggravating because a lot of my motivation to lose weight came from health concerns. At first, I was very upset about these health concerns, which made me really sensitive. I'm not any longer but to this day, I don't think I've shared the full story with even ten people. If I were still sensitive, I think I would find it very upsetting to be questioned in that manner about my motivations to lose weight. If I were less confident, I would find it very frustrating to be told I don't look like I need to lose weight. I found it a little frustrating as it was! And if my health problems were more severe, I don't think I would want to discuss them at all with people I don't know too well.
Just so I don't give off the wrong impression, I absolutely love it when people tell me I'm thinner. I don't mind at all when people ask me how much weight I've lost. In fact, I'm working on perfecting that Hair-Toss Combo that goes with the "18.8 pounds.* It feels great!" And then I think I'll add a giggle to the end. On the shallow end, it makes me feel good. But also, the fact that someone is noticing and acknowledging my success helps me recognize my own hard work. And when you've got as much weight as I had (and still have) to lose, that recognition can be hard to give yourself - but it's really important.
I don't mind when people ask me what my 'secret' is either. I love talking about Turbo Jam, and how Meesh, Chalene Johnson, and all the people who work for her have helped me with my workout regimen. I love talking about Weight Watchers and how it's helping me monitor the way I eat, and how Amanda's meetings motivate me and inspire new ideas for staying healthy. Before I began these programs, I didn't have the knowledge I needed to lose it. I thought I did, at times, but I really didn't. I really credit the programs with educating me as much as I do with motivating me. Again, I also credit the people involved whom I've met because of the programs.
I love discussing this with people because I've lost a lot of weight and I still have a lot to lose, but I really believe I can do it now. If anyone else can benefit from my programs, why on earth wouldn't I want to share that information? Or if someone else is struggling with weight issues, why wouldn't I want to commiserate? Weight loss is difficult! Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on to avoid thinking about those gosh-darned cookies in the back of the office. And sometimes it's just nice to socialize with people, and weight loss makes a rich or convenient topic.
Still, I'm fairly lucky. My Bathroom Monster can be vanquished. I believe that and I'm not afraid of facing him. Okay, I'm a little bit afraid of facing him directly, but not overall. I am confident with the progress I'm making. My lifestyle isn't perfect yet, but it's improving little by little. I'm also very happy to remain open and honest about what I'm doing and what my goals are. That being said, it doesn't make my health or my weight an open book for anyone to read. And not everyone is as lucky as I.
So be kind to people: encourage, appreciate, recognize. Don't interrogate.
Nette away.
*That's right, 18.8! My next small goal is 20, and the next major goal is 25. I'm so excited! ::Hair Toss Combo::
Yeah, that fatty that takes up all the space in the airplane/movie/whatever seat next to me! Fat fat fatties!
Nope, not what I'm talking about today.
I'm talking about the way all sorts of conversational boundaries begin to disappear when someone is on a plan to lose weight. Now, in a way, this makes total sense. According to the CDC, the obesity rate is above 20% in every single state but one (and D.C.). In my own lovely state of Virginia, the obesity rate in 2009 was at an even 25% (::gasps:: I did research!).
Now, if at least a fifth (or a quarter) of the people around are overweight, your chances of being one of them are pretty good. And it stands to reason that if you see someone looking thinner, you want to know what their secret is. Because after all, it must be magic! I eat all the right things, I exercise, I think happy thoughts and I am still not in that Never-Neverland of Skinniness. Tell me now, I MUST KNOW! But does that mean as soon as you tell someone you're watching your weight, it becomes everyone's business?
To illustrate my point I'll use a slightly uncomfortable experience from the other day. I was speaking to someone who complimented my weight loss and the way I looked. I responded pleasantly, with my practiced little Hair-Toss-Head-Lift-Smile. This person has asked me about my 'secrets' before and I've answered, but they chose to ask me again. I answered again, and then this person went a few steps further: How much weight have you lost? How much weight do you still have to lose? Why? You don't look that big. What's the healthy weight for your height?
I could almost see this person doing the math in their head to determine how heavy I'd been when I started. That made me feel very awkward. And despite the fact that they qualified with "You don't look that big," it made me feel really fat. For the first time in forever I don't feel all that fat (and I say that with a lot of weight left to lose!), so that was almost aggravating.
It's also aggravating because a lot of my motivation to lose weight came from health concerns. At first, I was very upset about these health concerns, which made me really sensitive. I'm not any longer but to this day, I don't think I've shared the full story with even ten people. If I were still sensitive, I think I would find it very upsetting to be questioned in that manner about my motivations to lose weight. If I were less confident, I would find it very frustrating to be told I don't look like I need to lose weight. I found it a little frustrating as it was! And if my health problems were more severe, I don't think I would want to discuss them at all with people I don't know too well.
Just so I don't give off the wrong impression, I absolutely love it when people tell me I'm thinner. I don't mind at all when people ask me how much weight I've lost. In fact, I'm working on perfecting that Hair-Toss Combo that goes with the "18.8 pounds.* It feels great!" And then I think I'll add a giggle to the end. On the shallow end, it makes me feel good. But also, the fact that someone is noticing and acknowledging my success helps me recognize my own hard work. And when you've got as much weight as I had (and still have) to lose, that recognition can be hard to give yourself - but it's really important.
I don't mind when people ask me what my 'secret' is either. I love talking about Turbo Jam, and how Meesh, Chalene Johnson, and all the people who work for her have helped me with my workout regimen. I love talking about Weight Watchers and how it's helping me monitor the way I eat, and how Amanda's meetings motivate me and inspire new ideas for staying healthy. Before I began these programs, I didn't have the knowledge I needed to lose it. I thought I did, at times, but I really didn't. I really credit the programs with educating me as much as I do with motivating me. Again, I also credit the people involved whom I've met because of the programs.
I love discussing this with people because I've lost a lot of weight and I still have a lot to lose, but I really believe I can do it now. If anyone else can benefit from my programs, why on earth wouldn't I want to share that information? Or if someone else is struggling with weight issues, why wouldn't I want to commiserate? Weight loss is difficult! Sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on to avoid thinking about those gosh-darned cookies in the back of the office. And sometimes it's just nice to socialize with people, and weight loss makes a rich or convenient topic.
Still, I'm fairly lucky. My Bathroom Monster can be vanquished. I believe that and I'm not afraid of facing him. Okay, I'm a little bit afraid of facing him directly, but not overall. I am confident with the progress I'm making. My lifestyle isn't perfect yet, but it's improving little by little. I'm also very happy to remain open and honest about what I'm doing and what my goals are. That being said, it doesn't make my health or my weight an open book for anyone to read. And not everyone is as lucky as I.
So be kind to people: encourage, appreciate, recognize. Don't interrogate.
Nette away.
*That's right, 18.8! My next small goal is 20, and the next major goal is 25. I'm so excited! ::Hair Toss Combo::